Unmute^^

Genius.

:-)

I'm a fan of snakes and I learned new things

Ive never really met anyone that thought of ribs as interesting… that’s such a shame. Ribs and the things they do are fascinating…. I think about them everyday.

Wow

icarus laughed as he fell

I don't have any pets, although I love my friends' powers. I get so annoyed at people who won't believe pet owners when they tell you what is necessary. I don't know a single pet owner who would prefer their pet to be sedated if it wasn't necessary.

Me, plunking Stinky Bastard Man’s carrier on the counter: hi he’s here for shots and a nail trim and he’ll need to be sedated

Nurse: Are you sure? We can try-

Me: he needs to be sedated

Nurse: Well, it’ll take longer-

Me: he needs to be sedated, he will try to rip your face off

Nurse: Well we’ll try without first and we’ll let you know if we need to sedate

Me, watching her carry him away: you will need to sedate him

Nurse, coming back 10 minutes later clutching her hand: so, we will need to sedate him

Me:

If you decide to read this, just remember you're not obliged to finish reading it. It's a hard read and stopping and watering the garden or making dinner or having a cup of tea and looking at plants are all good self care.

Quick notes below if you can't read the whole article.

The article expands on a story that became public mid 2024, but in short, Gaiman is alleged to be a serial sexual abuser.

During the acute phase of the pandemic, Palmer who was in the process of divorcing Gaiman, befriended a homeless and vulnerable woman, Pavlovich, and offered her a job in being nanny to her and Gaiman's son (shared custody split between two homes). Gaiman could easily have afforded to pay an experienced nanny but somehow ended up having this vulnerable woman, Pavlovich, come play nanny at his as well. Palmer allegedly told him to leave Pavlovich alone, but Gaiman allegedly did not, and allegedly sexually assaulted/raped her repeatedly throughout the time she was their son's nanny. A lot of terrible abuse is detailed, including under-the-covers sexual activity with the lights on in a hotel room with his under-10yo son metres away looking at his tablet.

Payment for the nannying was... spotty at best.

Eventually Pavlovich told Palmer about Gaiman's behaviour. Palmer tried to help Pavlovich during her (very understandable) mental health crisis as a result but was not very effective. Eventually Pavlovich told the police about the alleged assaults and rape. The police said they'd need Palmer to verify her parts of the story, Pavlovich was convinced she would, but Palmer didn't.

Pavlovich is now doing much better far away from the two of them.

Palmer lost everything in the divorce (an outcome she was probably hoping to avoid by keeping her mouth shut) and now lives with her parents. I'm not sure what the custody agreement is for their kid but hopefully it's not 100% with Gaiman.

Gaiman has been doing fine.

The article attempts at various times to blame Gaiman's behaviour on the abuse he probably experienced as a child from Scientology/Dianetics, that he's never talked about but which may have informed some of the child abuse in The Ocean At The End Of The Lane.

Vulture

There Is No Safe Word

How the best-selling fantasy author Neil Gaiman hid the darkest parts of himself for decades.

TW: rape, sexual assault, child abuse

Archived version here, in case you hit the pay wall:

https://archive.is/HJtxW

It's also okay to describe what the active character is looking at. For example, "I saw her eyes starting to water, and as the first tears fell, I reached across the table and cupped her face in my hand. She looked down and leaned her face into my pain. I wiped her tears away with my thumb, across the ridges and valleys of her crows feet.

Or

Uncomfortable at her tears, Adrian reacted across and held her face in his hand. Her tears ran over her face, highlighting the wrinkles exacerbated by the upset tension in her face.

In writing, epithets ("the taller man"/"the blonde"/etc) are inherently dehumanizing, in that they remove a character's name and identity, and instead focus on this other quality.

Which can be an extremely effective device within narration!

They can work very well for characters whose names the narrator doesn't know yet (especially to differentiate between two or more). How specific the epithet is can signal to the reader how important the character is going to be later on, and whether they should dedicate bandwidth to remembering them for later ("the bearded man" is much less likely to show up again than "the man with the angel tattoo")

They can indicate when characters stop being as an individual and instead embody their Role, like a detective choosing to think of their lover simply as The Thief when arresting them, or a royal character being referred to as The Queen when she's acting on behalf of the state

They can reveal the narrator's biases by repeatedly drawing attention to a particular quality that singles them out in the narrator's mind

But these only work if the epithet used is how the narrator primarily identifies that character. Which is why it's so jarring to see a lot of common epithets in intimate moments-- because it conveys that the main character is primarily thinking of their lover/best friend/etc in terms of their height or age or hair color.

"The trannies should be able to piss in whatever toilet they want and change their bodies however they want. Why is it my business if some chick has a dick or a guy has a pie? I'm not a trannie or a fag so I don't care, just give 'em the medicine they need."

"This is an LGBT safe space. Of COURSE I fully support individuals who identify as transgender and their right to self-determination! I just think that transitioning is a very serious choice and should be heavily regulated. And there could be a lot of harm in exposing cis children to such topics, so we should be really careful about when it is appropriate to mention trans issues or have too much trans visibility."

One of the above statements is Problematic and the other is slightly annoying. If we disagree on which is which then working together for a better future is going to get really fucking difficult.

The breed standard for Persian cats is extremely bad for the cats.

Image and much more detail in the below. https://thelittlecarnivore.com/en/blog/persian-cats-is-it-too-late-for-the-breed

The breed standard for modern Persian cats calls for the nose and mouth to be in “vertical alignment” with the eyes 😭

LEGO - Rubber Duck