“You Can Never Really Go Back To The Same Waters. Not Only Are You No Longer The Same, But Neither

Force my Muse to Spill their Secrets

🌧- For a heavy, emotional secret

🙃- For a lighter, slightly embarrassing secret

🌟- For a secret wish or desire of theirs

🍏- For something they secretly wish didn’t exist

🍎- For something they secretly wish did exist

❤️- For a secret crush

📲- Talk about someone/something you dislike, but only pretend to like

👁‍🗨- Talk about someone/something you like, but pretend to dislike

🍻- For something bad/mischievous you did as a child or teen that your parents don’t know about

🌜- For a ‘weird’ habit or tic that no one knows about

💃- For a talent that they like to keep hidden from others

🏹- For a talent they wish they had

👻- For something that scares or disturbs them, but they refuse to tell anyone

☢️- For a controversy or scandal they have been able to keep mostly under wraps

🐇- For a secret item they keep (stuffed animal, comfort object, etc)

📒- For a secret journal/diary they keep (Bonus: Share an entry from it!)

📔- For a secret sketchbook they keep (Bonus: Share a sketch or doodle within it!)

🖤- For something they secretly wish they could do with your muse

❓- Free Space! Ask them about a specific secret!

ofmollyweasley​:

molly had completely forgotten she had come to scout out her brothers. seeing the face she had spent years taking in as her own had completely thrown her for a loop. feeling james pulling her in for a hug, she took him into the bear hug she was notorious for. she had done pretty well so far keeping it together. the emotions of everything hadn’t really caught up to her yet. she hadn’t really had time to process it all, what with having five small children to take care of again.

but having the boy who lived’s father hugging her, his arms wrapped around her, it opened the flood gates. she tried stifling a sob as much as possible. when had she last seen the man? it was surely before they went into hiding. she thought of james as another brother. 

“looking for fab and gid,” she said, having her question of whether her brothers were there or not. “they gave the boys sugar and left them with me.” it seemed so trivial now, having seen james for the first time in twenty years. 

--

The past few days had been.. rough, if there was any other word for it. 

Seeing Sirius and Remus, and Marlene. Alice, and hearing of everything she and Frank had gone through. He and Lily were still trying to process it all, and while part of him had hoped for some normalcy by attending an Order meeting, - and to see if any of the other members had any clue of what was going on, without being the one to spill the beans and sound like an absolute nutter, - James knew things would be okay if Molly Weasley was still around.

Until she had stared at him, like she couldn’t quite believe he was really there. And when he reached for her, Molly grabbed him in the tightest, Molly-est hug imaginable, and all at once, he felt that uncertainty.

That fear.

Something was still wrong.

She was crying, and James’ chest ached with it. He bundled her up as tightly as he could, - and careful with it, too, - reaching for a clean tissue in his pocket when she had pulled back to offer it to her. There’d been a lot of crying, lately. He was trying to stay prepared. 

“.. they deserve to get their arses kicked, then,” he joked weakly, still keeping one arm around Molly, to make sure she was alright. “I haven’t seen them. But - you’re more than welcome to stay, until they turn up. I needed a good excuse to get out of there, anyway.” 

He looked back at the door, a tired frown on his face, before offering Molly a weak smile. “Tea?”

If I lived a million lives, I would’ve felt a million feelings and I still would’ve fallen a million times for you.

R.M. Drake (via quotemadness)

Doubt

HEADCANON:

Despite how much of his heart and soul he puts into it, James has so many doubts about himself being a father. His own father had always been a great example, and that was never in question, but he's seen first had what shitty parenting can do to a child. The first time Sirius had openly talked about his parents, something about it, - not just a hatred for how they treated Sirius, their son, but a sense of unrest that came with knowing people could just be like that to their children and be perfectly content with it, - just never sat right with him.

When he and Lily found out she was pregnant, the first thing he felt, above all else, was euphoria. Pure, complete happiness. But the doubt crept in, and the fear, and even when Harry had arrived, and he was set in James' arms in a little bundle of soft blankets, James couldn't deny that haunting doubt that loomed in the back of his mind.

He always wanted to be a good father. The only thing standing in his way was his own insecurities, doubts and fears.

I’ll see you

with your

laughter lines

Marauders (click to enlarge)

nighttimestorrm​:

Sirius rarely ever cried in front of other people. He could actually count on one hand the amount of times he had. Usually he would take himself off and hide, not wanting anyone to see him at his most vulnerable. But James had always been different. James was the person Sirius trusted above everyone else. His brother. The thought caused another sob to rumble through him and it was taking every ounce of strength he had left not to just break down completely.

But then he spoke.

He had forgotten what his voice sounded like. And he hadn’t realised that until now. Fifteen years. It had been fifteen years since he had saw him and yet it had never gotten easier. If anything, it had gotten worse as the days went by. Every day he had just wanted to talk to him. And now that he was here in front of him Sirius had no idea what to say.

He wanted to say he was sorry for not seeing the signs of Peters betrayal earlier. He wanted to say sorry for not fighting hard enough for Harry. He wanted to say how unfair it is that they spent more time apart than they did together. He wanted to tell him about how his son was so much like him that he should be proud. He wanted to tell him everything.

But most of all he just wanted to say how much he had missed him. Needed him. But nothing was coming out.

“You weren’t supposed to die before me.” He finally managed to say, his voice wavering with the effort to keep his breathing in check. He meant to say it as a joke but, honestly, he had never once thought about the possibility that James would die before him. It had felt impossible. It still did. After all, Sirius had been a reckless idiot that didn’t think before he acted. He hadn’t had much to lose. And yet James had his family. It wasn’t fair.

“You…you remember things, right? Because otherwise I’m going to sound insane.” 

He wanted to reach out and hug James but he knew that if he did he wouldn’t let go. And he couldn’t stop staring at the face he had seen through Harry. They were so similar that it hurt. It felt cruel. Either he had James and not Harry. Or Harry and not James. Knowing he hadn’t been there enough for either of them…it was breaking him.

--

Something was wrong.

Their entire world had been turned on it’s head, twisted and contorted, like some kind of nightmare. Every waking second was almost too heavy to bear, and while he tried to stay afloat, - for Lily, for his family, for the Order, and everything they were still fighting for, there was no end to it. No peace had come from it, despite Dumbledore’s promises, and now this was the price they were all paying. Re-living the worst years of their lives. Even the one good thing that had come from the past two and a half years had been taken from them, and all James wanted was.. to close his eyes, and breathe, and make it all go away. It was evident in Sirius’ expression, too. A tiredness and exhaustion in his eyes that hadn’t been there when James had seen him only a short time before.

Except.. it wasn’t a short time before, was it?

He didn’t know how long it had been since Sirius had seen him. 

How long either of them had been gone.

The words that come from his brother settle deep in his core, unnerving. They were the same, in so many aspects, - and their willingness to die for the cause was exactly what had landed them in the Order in the first place. They all knew the risks when they had signed up, and they were prepared to pay the price. Their silver lining had been painted with the invincibility of their late teens, early twenties, when magic and the world had been at their fingertips, -

And then his parents had died. And Marlene. And Harry had come. And one by one, their friends, family, Order members, had all dropped like flies, killed in their homes, and on their missions.

There was nothing invincible about it.

Sirius looked so tired. 

Like he had when he was fifteen, and he’d shown up at the estate, shaking and manic, having finally left the Black home for good. For a brief moment, James wondered if this felt the same; if Sirius had left something so distressing, so hurtful, so exhausting, that the only thing he could think to do was find James again. He seemed hesitant, too, like he was afraid James wouldn’t really be there if he had reached out, - 

But James was always good at taking the first step. 

Cigarette forgotten, abandoned to the damp grass under their feet; he reached a hand out, setting it on Sirius’ chest. There was a heartbeat, wild and frantic, - and in an instant, James was pulling him into a tight hug, arms wrapped around him like it was the only thing keeping them both afloat.

Perhaps it was.

“You’ve always been a bit of a nutter,” James huffed out, voice thick as he swallowed down his tears, and he held onto the other man. “.. I don’t know what I remember.”

By a unanimous vote, we’ve decided to do a soft opening, and take this weekend to plot and reply to memes.

What that means:

All of our members should follow Memento Memes, where I will be reblogging memes throughout the weekend for us to use. To keep them all in one place and from getting lost on the dash, send any memes you’d like to be reblogged to me and I’ll reblog them there.

I will still be accepting Applications all weekend. Friday Night, Saturday Night, and Sunday Night, all at 9pm EST. That way people can easily join in and get right into the plotting and memes.

On Monday at 6 pm EST, we will open officially. This will be started with everyone posting their Self-Paras of their characters waking up. This can either be a Solo Para if your character is alone, or a Para with your characters significant other if they woke up with them. That is completely up to you if you’ve plotted that.

“Can any single person shut the fuck up about any single thing for an hour?”

"That would actually involve people being competent and considerate, and you and I both know that's pretty hard to come by."

He answers before he thinks, only glancing up when Amelia comes to a stop beside him. As vast and all-encompassing as it is, the Ministry is surprisingly small, and James finds himself bumping into the same people on the regular. It's not an uncommon thing; most people working within it's walls are on a tight, routine schedule, and end of following the same pattern, day in, day out. James feels like an outlier sometimes, floating in and out to collect missions, to attend training and debriefs, most of which can already be done on the field.

It has been nice, however, to see Amelia again. He's known her almost ten years, now, and known her for about a year. They get on, and he's always appreciative of a familiar face. The little coffee shop across from the telephone box is where they usually cross paths, and today is no different.

She's frowning like she's sick of the world, leveling him with an unamused glare, and James turns back to the boy behind the counter with a grin, asking politely for another cup of tea for Amelia.

He's got a feeling she needs a minute to relax.

mcrningecans​:

   HIS FINGERS ON HER SKIN WERE THE ONLY THING REMINDING HER SHE WAS HERE. Here and not there; back in that place, where everything felt sunken. The loss of him was alive here, but at least it was alive, breathing life into the places of Lily she thought had been lost. Every part of her ached for Harry, and yet every part of her ached for James, her James, who sat in front of her now. It was a confusing battle; one that she didn’t know how to win. Because there was no winning.

     Either she was alive, and Harry was gone. Or Harry was alive and she could never hold him.

     The thought was almost too much to handle, so Lily watched James’s fingertips, watched their circles; the swoops and the dives. His voice brought her back from her trance, reminded her that there was more to the world than her own grief. There was James. And right now he needed her. She put her cup down and gently, with shaking palms, cupped his cheeks. Lily was afraid if she pressed too hard, got too greedy with connecting, that she’d shatter this illusion. And bloody hell, what would she do if everything crumbled apart around her? What would she do if she learned this was all some kind of sad, twisted trick? Still, James was still there, even with his cheeks in her hands. Even as her thumb gently brushed away any remaining tears on his face. 

     “James,” Lily said, softly. “You saved Harry. You were trying to save us.” If this were another time, she might’ve made a joke about him being an idiot. But it felt wrong now no her lips, and she let it die. And then the thought of Harry; the part he didn’t know. The part that, somehow, she knew, even though there was really no way for her to have known. How could she know that her son survived? She had died, and now she was alive again, and he wasn’t even here. But in that world, in that scenario, Harry had lived. He’d grown. “I… I didn’t make it either. I had enough time to get in front of Harry; to shield him–” Lily shook her head. “But he lived. I’m certain of it.”

     The boy who lived. Their boy who had lived, despite it all. Despite all the trials he certainly had to face; despite the fact that, somehow, he’d had to face Voldemort again. That was the part that kept returning to her, circling in and out like a dream. Why had she seen her son face down that monster? Why didn’t Harry get peace after all he’d had to endure? It killed her to know that they might have died in vain; that all their sacrifice, and Harry still was forced to be the hero. 

     “None of this makes any bloody sense,” she said, dropping her hands to her lap, watching James trace his circles again, waiting for them to give her an answer. 

--

 If there was anyone in the universe who understood him, it was Lily.

Lily, who had seen the best, and the worst in him, even when they were kids. Lily, who understood that all they needed was a little time, and a little faith, and everything they wanted became everything they had. Lily, who had been forced to face the worst parts of the wizarding world, and had lost the dearest friendship she had at the age of fifteen, and still believed that she could do some good for the people who had wronged her, and the world who was so willing to turn it’s back on her. It was a true miracle, he believed, that she had ever given him the time of day at the start of sixth year; and while neither of them were perfect, - bloody hell, was he far from it, - it meant they could have this.

Total trust. Total honesty. Total belief that the life they had built together, both through their home, and through Harry, was still with them. 

She had gone through so much. Too much, for someone just touching twenty-one; though she looked younger, now. There was no scar on her hand from where she’d broken a glass on their honeymoon, and still, she lifted her hands to cup his face the way she always did, gentle, and some part of James eased. There was a storm, still. Brewing. But the waves had calmed, and for a brief second in time, James found some peace. 

If this was purgatory, he could have sat there with her for eternity. ‘Til death did them part.

What did that even mean any more?

He closed his eyes, listening as she spoke. Even now, there was hope in her voice, laced with confusion, and hurt. It pained him to listen to her own side, to the fight she had lost, - won? If Harry was still safe, somewhere, wasn’t that a victory? Better yet, if this was their opportunity to change things, so that Voldemort never found them in the first place, and they could still have Harry with them, wasn’t that the goal?

He had a headache. He frowned, slightly, setting his cup down to hold Lily’s hand to his face, keeping it there, as he turned to press a soft kiss to her palm, his own hand still gentle against her thigh.

They had each other. They needed each other.

He needed her. 

James let her hands go, blinking his eyes open again. It caught in his chest, the loss that ached like nothing he had ever felt before. Losing Marlene, his parents, their other friends, all of it hurt. Losing Harry?

It burned.

“.. I had a dream about him,” he whispered, taking up Lily’s hands in his own, lacing their fingers together lightly. If there was one person he could say this to, it was her. “Harry. Maybe it wasn’t a dream. I don’t know. It was like.. his life, all muddled up together. And then we met him, in this forest. And we got to talk to him.” There were tears in his eyes, then, and James sniffled lightly, giving a small shrug. “I probably sound crazy. I feel crazy.”