Not To Be That Guy But What If Instead Of The Crying Child Being Gregory And GR!Freddy Is Michael 

Tumblr makes sense to me bc if i see something i like i get excited and hit the button to show other people and theres no weird unspoken social conventions my autistic brain doesnt understand. I can literally sit here and reblog 150 niche shitposts about harvest mice in an hour just bc they make me happy and i dont have to explain myself to anyone and i'll actually *gain* followers instead of just being called weird and downvoted or whatever its so cool

i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do

Aliens have captured you, and placed you in one of their nature preserves. However, they have sorely miscalculated on two issues: The amount of calories needed to keep a persistence predator sated, and the lethality/brutality of a hangry human.

ref... obvi....

age maybe

Okay seriously. Reblog if you're OLDER than 11.

LOL [source]

Bruce Wayne as Matches Malone but like more.

As in Matches is one of the major mob boss's of the city.

But like no one knows about it.

And Bruce never bothers to tell anyone because he thinks everyone trails him or something.

Batman's no kill rule isn't here because Matches ain't Batman.

It also makes the "Batman can't kill because he's an icon" and the "Bruce Wayne(not Brucie) can't kill cause he won't stop" Thing null.

So like Jason goes boom and Matches "goes into hidding" which the other criminals find valid because Batman's going crazy.

After a bit Matches comes out of hidding and for some reason Red Hood likes him.

Which is obviously a little strange because he has beef with Batman and Bruce Wayne.

But whatever.

OH MY GOD IS THAT JASON!!!!

ARE YOU LIKE TAUNTING ME OR SOMETHING!!!

Anyway Bruce is like okay cool im gonna get shot if I tell him but I'm gonna get shot if I tell him later…

Might as well update his will…

Alt

The Batfam does know and they get Malone Identities. 

All of them Have M nicknames with gimmicks pertaining to the name.

Like Matches has fire and arson

All the names I've come up with so far is:

Dick- Mint: He smokes a thing of knock out gas that smells like mint(Bat produced so nothing's going on with his lungs)

Kate- Mast: Ship captain/ Port over seer

Bettie- Maestro: she found a cool mindcontrol stick

Jason- Mojo: Court jester(he made the identity pre ca-boom as a dig at Joker so now he's stuck with it.)

Barbra- Motor: Drag racer/ getaway driver

Tim- Moxie: Makes you get a pep in your step with kind words and this Tommy(the gun) he found

Stephanie- Mask: like a shapeshifter but with nanobots

Cassandra- Molar: The bone stealer that prefers teeth

Damian- Moth: he gets hit with this gas that makes him have an army of lab grown moths

Duke- Mist: Like Batman but it's fog instead of shadow

There are like three to for of these are a reach but idc

Note:

All the Bats are immune to the knock out gas so there's a thing in their suits that knocks them out while de-Maloned

Note 2:

post ca-boom the excuse they made for Jason not showing up is that he went to clown college to one up the joker in honor of his favorite robin. 

When he came back and the guys minds were boggled that clown college made him jacked.

Note 3: I gave Tim a Tommy gun specifically so I a could say "Timmy with the Tommy"

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMY5t3uh6/

I'm just trying to boost this :>