#he Spolied The Ending And We Weren’t Listening

I just saw this video from the auralnauts channel on youtube! /watch?v=wjOkdyr6Cr8 It's way too funny, kylo reacts to tros trailer. I guess they do a lot of star wars parodies but I've only seen one and it was their tfa Kylo one. This new one was great, I didn't expect it to turn Reylo lol

You should see their TLJ one. It’s a hoot and it’s pretty Reylo. And wow, I didn’t know they already uploaded a TROS one! Thanks for linking it to me!

You have compassion for her.

Y’all.

Y’ALL.

What if Ben didn’t die and went to the world between worlds?

HE COULD LEGITIMATELY COME BACK.

AND WHAT IF DISNEY FINALLY GETS THE BALLS TO DO AN EPILOGUE WHERE REY GOES TO HIM AND BRINGS HIM BACK

Wedding harmony~

The very air between them bent and wavered as Snoke harnessed the Force and made it his weapon. Rey thrashed in pain, screaming and seeking an escape that didn’t exist. Kylo could feel Rey’s pain and panic, a bright roar in the Force that overwhelmed all else—even the dark presence of Snoke.

THE WAY SHE LOOKS AT HIS LIPS ,, THEY WERE BOTH SO GENTLE BUT THEN SO HASTY LIKE OUCH MY HEART

Can you see my surroundings? I can’t see yours, just you.

Ben Solo & Mental Health in Star Wars Sequel Trilogy

Hello. Hi. This meta has been a long time coming. Before I get started though, a disclaimer is in order. I am a therapist with two graduate degrees, a graduate certificate in trauma & disaster/conflict mental health, & professional/academic training in psychology. I currently provide crisis therapy to kids & teenagers who are suicidal and/or have been abused. I have conducted extensive graduate research on torture sequelae and torture trauma in refugees and prisoners of war, under the tutelage of the academic, who, following being a POW during the Vietnam war, began mental health research & subsequently coined the term “post-traumatic stress disorder” to describe the cluster of symptoms previously referred to as “shell shock.” I have several years of experience working with various types of trauma and vulnerable populations: refugees, “at-risk” youth of color, special-needs children, the homeless, domestic violence survivors, child abuse survivors, disaster survivors, and children/teens in acute mental health crisis (such as active suicidal ideation/attempts). This analysis is based on my own knowledge, research experience, guidance from my mentors, training, insights, observations, and experience as a mental health practitioner. Please keep this in mind before this analysis is turned into a harassment campaign. And please be respectful of other bloggers as you share and discuss this meta. I did this meta as an effort to spread light, understanding, and compassion towards the beleaguered, not to be used as a weapon against struggling souls. If you engage in this harmful behavior on this post or regarding this post, you will be blocked. I implore you to please use this discussion as an opportunity to have constructive, kind, and inclusive conversations instead. 

Thank you.  With love and light,  V 

(for you, London nonnie….and in honor of the countless struggling fans who love/identify with Ben Solo’s character, the women who have been harassed for loving/empathizing with the character, & all of those who feel hopeless in light of this character’s outcome & treatment, including many of my own patients) 

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: Call 1-800-273-8255 Crisis Text Line: Text TALK to 741741 Should you have any thoughts of harming yourself, please go to your local ER. You are seen, heard, loved, and not alone

Warning: Extremely long post ahead. 

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Neglect & Attachment Disruption

Attachment theory is a developmental psychology theory that focuses on early childhood development, and how it has lifelong effects. As soon an infant is born, the process of forming a post-natal attachment with the caregiver begins. Most often, this primary attachment figure is the mother. The dyadic relationship between the mother and the child has been intuitively understood throughout history as the fundamental relationship that forms the foundation of a human’s development through the life-cycle, even before we had the terminology to describe this knowledge. When the mother is experiencing post-partum depression, in particular, the forming of a secure attachment is in danger. 

During the attachment phase (from birth to 2 years of age), the child begins determining whether the caregiver is reliable and responsive. This reliability is reinforced every time the caregiver responds to the child’s needs & cries. Every time the caregiver provides comfort and safety to the child. Every time the caregiver is emotionally responsive to the child and interacts with the child. Every time the caregiver provides proximity and presence to the child.

The attachment with the primary caregiver is how a child learns to process/interact with the world. It affects the child’s emotional regulation, health, behaviour, performance, and relationships with others moving forward. 

From canon materials, we know that Ben Solo struggled with sleep issues since birth. It is implied that these sleep issues were due to the dark influence that had been affecting Ben since he was in Leia’s womb. According to the Last Shot, Han was occasionally able to respond to Ben’s cries and help him sleep, but Han was frequently away, smuggling throughout the galaxy. Leia was also fairly absent in Ben’s formative years due to forming a new republic, which caused Ben to not form an attachment with his primary caregiver. Ben was raised primarily by nurse droids who cannot provide the attachment, comfort, and emotional responsiveness of human caregivers. The presence of his parents in his life was erratic & unreliable.

So what sorts of attachment styles form in children? There are four attachment styles (Secure, Anxious-Ambivalent, Anxious-Avoidant, & Disoriented-Disorganized) but for the purpose of this discussion, I will only expound on secure attachment & disoriented attachment. 

Secure attachment: This is the ideal attachment. This attachment is formed when the parent is present, consistent, nurturing, comforting, and responsive to the child’s needs. Children with secure attachment will display behaviors such as wanting to be near the parent & feeling anxious when the parent is away or are separated from parent. These children will be apprehensive of strangers and trust only their attachment figures. Due to this secure attachment, these children are less vulnerable to being preyed upon. 

Disoriented-Disorganized attachment (Ben Solo’s attachment style): This attachment style frequently occurs in children whose parents have unresolved trauma. Such parents react to situations of stress and to their children with fear or other primal emotions that arise in stressful situations. Such parents can become abusive and/or neglectful/avoidant due to their own unprocessed trauma. Children with this attachment style grow up displaying trouble forming a coherent identity or narrative about themselves. They don’t learn healthy ways to self-soothe. They have trouble trusting others. They are less liked than their secure-attachment peers, resulting in them being treated as outcasts, which further solidifies the lack of healthy attachment to others. 

Leia never formed healthy attachments as a child (she was also raised by droids), which is a developmental trauma, and also faced the trauma of her home/family being destroyed by the Death Star. Additionally, Leia struggled to process the new knowledge that Darth Vader was her biological father. In result, Leia became ambivalent, avoidant, and fearful of Ben, whose force sensitivity and erratic behaviors due to being influenced by a dark presence reminded Leia of her own traumas. Reminded her of her biological father who destroyed her family and caused immense destruction in the entire galaxy. Consequently, she became afraid of Ben and avoided caring for him by focusing on her political career. 

Han also did not form a secure attachment with caregivers. He spent much of his childhood in survival mode and fleeing/avoiding situations & even places. Han had also never formed any secure attachments to others in adulthood. His only attachment in adolescence/adulthood (Qi’ra) was separated from him and betrayed him. Consequently, commitment & stability are sources of stress and discomfort to Han. Additionally, Han had also spent his adulthood living in the Millennium Falcon, not being responsible for anyone but himself. As a result, although Han loved his son and tried his best to be there for him, his own unresolved trauma frequently caused him to flee and leave Ben behind. 

So. Ben has formed disorganized attachment to others. He grew up feeling as if he were unwanted/feared by his parents, particularly his mother (his primary caregiver). He grew up being emotionally neglected by his parents. He grew up interacting with droids and not receiving healthy social interaction from peers. Due to this deficit, and being abused/influenced by Snoke, Ben began exhibiting increasingly volatile/erratic behaviors, which made Leia even more fearful. To top this off, at 10 years old, he was taken from the only home he had with mostly-absent parents and placed in what was essentially a boarding school for his troubled-behaviors. Even children with absent parents form some level of attachment to their parents. They look up to them and want validation from them. Therefore, when he was sent to train with Luke, Ben experienced an attachment/separation trauma by being severed from the only caregivers he had ever known (we see this in children whose parents divorce as well). This would have likely aggravated his “problem-behaviors,” resulting in him immediately being ostracized from his peers. Furthermore, as the nephew of Luke Skywalker and the son of Han and Leia, he would have also experienced jealousy & resentment by his peers, which is alluded to in the Rise of Kylo Ren Comic. 

Around the time of Luke pulling that saber on Ben while he was sleeping, according to the novel Bloodline, the news that Leia was the daughter of Darth Vader had spread across the galaxy. Until this point, Ben had not been privy to this information. Not from his parents, from Luke, or family friends. Individuals with disoriented attachment struggle with trusting others, and this event exacerbated Ben’s sense of betrayal and trust issues with his parents and his uncle. Finding out that your family had hidden such a monumental piece of information about your family background….at the age of 23…can be very traumatic to an individual, particularly to an individual with disorganized attachment. It affirms your every worst thought about yourself and how others feel about you. Ben Solo would have thought at this point that his family viewed him as Vader 2.0 and hated him for it, even though the darkness in him was not him but was Snoke/Palpatine. 

This thought was solidified the moment he woke up to Luke hovering over him with an ignited lightsaber. The way Ben’s memory of this scene is depicted in TLJ highlights Luke’s murderous expression, and how Ben saw him as getting ready to attack him is very revealing of Ben’s mental state at that time. His fear has clouded that memory. This memory was probably the most traumatic moment of his life. He has a distorted memory of it and is remembering it through the lens of trauma memory. It is important to note that Rian specified that Ben was the only person who didn’t lie about what happened that night. This was actually how he was remembering it. This is why he reacts so irrationally when he sees Luke on crait…he is brought back to the feelings he experienced when Luke first tried to kill him. He reverts to the emotional memory of that trauma and experiences what is referred to as an “emotional flashback.” 

We see in the Rise of Kylo Ren comic that Ben was not responsible for blowing up the jedi temple. He watches it from the distance and is distraught and tries to go in there. Although we do not know for certain who was responsible for the destruction of the temple, one can deduce that it was likely Snoke/Palpatine. We can infer that several students were in the temple when it was blown up. His other classmates, however, immediately turn on him, and refuse to listen to him when he tries to explain that Luke had tried to kill him and that he is not responsible for the destruction of the temple. The students refuse to relent and force his hand to a duel with them. Ben, who feels that he cannot turn to his uncle, cannot turn to his peers, cannot turn to his family friends, and cannot turn to his parents, decides to turn to Snoke, who is the only safe haven he has left. While his peers begin a manhunt for him. 

Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD): Some children with disorganized attachment develop RAD. Some symptoms of this disorder include withdrawal & irritability/volatility, failure to smile, not engaging in social interaction, rejecting efforts of others to be comforted and soothed, etc. We see young Ben exhibit many of these symptoms, and through my own clinical judgment, I believe that he is characterized as a child who is suffering from RAD. Although we see Ben expressing vulnerability with Rey in his adulthood, he regresses to this childhood persona as soon as she rejects him on the supremacy. He becomes very volatile and descends to Crait to externalize this rejection, to essentially show to her (falsely) that he rejects her in return. But this is of course folly. Because Han has activated Ben’s healing journey with his sacrifice, Ben cannot regress completely to his prior mental states as a child. When the bond reopens, we see him longing for the connection he shared with Rey. We see him WANTING that for himself rather than impulsively rejecting it. 

Abuse & Trauma Mental Health 

Unfortunately Ben not only experienced emotional neglect by his caregivers, but also lifelong emotional and physical abuse by his mentor. While childhood neglect leads to unhealthy attachment and attachment disorders, if the neglect is also amplified by abuse, the child will also develop trauma-related disorders, that if untreated, will persist into adulthood and require lifelong management & treatment. 

Complex trauma: Our understanding of post-traumatic stress disorder is still fairly nascent and limited. Many people still only understand this disorder through the context of the mental health struggles of war veterans. And the PTSD diagnostic criteria in the DSM, without any further sub-classifications of the disorder, reflects this lack of nuance and understanding. Post-traumatic symptoms caused by developmental trauma and other prolonged traumas are very difficult to treat. Additionally, there is no good medication available for trauma-related disorders, and psychopharmacology is woefully behind in this aspect. Most people who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder are just prescribed SSRIs and/or NDRI’s to simply manage the depression & anxiety symptoms that arise. 

The traditional PTSD is typically caused by a single traumatic event. For a veteran, this may have been something like experiencing or watching a comrade being blown to bits in a mortar explosion. For an unsuspecting passenger, this may mean being involved in a traumatic motor-vehicle accident. For survivors of Katrina, this may mean watching their family home and dead neighbors floating in the water. For survivors of 9/11, this may have been in the form of a collective trauma such as being in the vicinity that day or seeing victims jump to their death from the towers, 

Complex trauma and its dynamics are a bit different. Complex trauma requires prolonged exposure to a trauma or to multiple traumas, a sense of being trapped in the traumatic environment, & a lack of hope for escape or relief. This sense of powerlessness to prevent the trauma from recurring is essential to experiencing this particularly nasty form of trauma. Some situations/experiences that would lead to complex trauma include: prolonged child abuse (sexual, physical, emotional), ongoing domestic violence, being in a concentration camp, incarceration in the prison system (particularly if falsely accused), being institutionalized for mental health struggles, experiencing genocide and/or ongoing war or conflict, experiencing recurrent neighborhood violence, experiencing sex trafficking/labor trafficking, being a prisoner of war, being tortured, etc. Complex trauma can lead to several symptoms that are not seen in traditional PTSD (and can be much more difficult to treat). Some of these symptoms include: dissociative symptoms, lack of impulse control, trouble with boundaries, difficulty regulating attention, difficulty regulating emotions or identifying emotional states, poor affect regulation, fragmented identity/sense of self, sensory-motor dysfunction, somatization of symptoms, alterations in systems of meaning, and severe cognitive distortions, etc.  This cluster of symptoms is referred by mental health practitioners as Complex-Trauma Disorder (CTD), Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD), or Developmental Trauma Disorder (DTD). These sub-diagnoses are not currently included in the DSM V, and many psychologists are presently advocating for these distinctions to be made in the next edition of the DSM. 

Ben has experienced psychological/emotional abuse at the hands of Snoke/Palpatine since he was in the womb. We see in TROS that Palpatine has continued this mental/emotional assault even after Snoke was killed. Ben has had lifelong nightmares and sleep issues due to this perpetual and persistent dark influence in his mind. A child’s mind is particularly vulnerable to being distorted & destroyed by emotional abuse as they lack the same mental faculties/development that the adults have in order to process such assaults and not internalize them. Even adults struggle considerably with such abuse, but children are particularly vulnerable. Additionally, such abuse, because a child’s mind is still developing, can permanently alter that individual’s mental health & neurobiology. Researchers have compiled a list of experiences that are classified as Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE), which contribute to detrimental outcomes throughout the individual’s lifespan. The higher your ACE score, the more severe the outcomes, including and potentially..early death. 

Ben, as a child, was permanently affected by this abuse at the hands of Snoke/Palpatine. As an adult, once he joins Snoke, we see this emotional abuse amplifying and being augmented with physical abuse & torture. We see throughout the sequel trilogy and in the supplemental materials that, as an adult and as a child, Ben has many of the aforementioned symptoms of complex trauma. Therefore, it is my clinical judgment that he is also suffering from Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD). 

Although every person experiences dissociation from time to time (daydreaming, doing tasks automatically, zoning out in conversations, etc), to develop pathological dissociation, complex trauma is an essential factor. Four classifications of dissociative disorders currently exist: Dissociative Amnesia, Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder (DPDR), & Dissociative Fugue. For the purpose of this meta, as it is about Ben Solo, I will only be expounding on DID. 

Dissociative Identity Disorder: Cinema has historically depicted this Dissociative Disorder (previously known as multiple-personality disorder) in very erroneous and harmful ways (ex: Split, Fight Club…). Many have also confused this disorder with Schizophrenia (a psychotic disorder) in the past, which is in a completely different class of mental health disorders with a different cluster of symptoms. Dissociative Disorders markedly do not include hallucinations and reality testing is intact. And like most individuals who struggle from Schizophrenia, most who struggle with dissociative disorders are completely harmless.

DID is characterized by a minimum of two distinct personalty states. A pre-requisite to developing this disorder is prolonged trauma in early childhood. Children, particularly very young children, lack the mental faculties and the coping skills necessary to process such significant trauma; therefore, in order to protect their psyche, their ego is “split” into alter or fractured identity states. The fundamental ego state is referred to as the host and the fractured personality states are referred to as “alters.” The alter(s) hold and absorb the trauma so that the host personality may remain unharmed/untouched. And the alters “take over” the psyche intermittently when triggered and/or when protection is deemed necessary by the individual’s mind. Sometimes, the alter even takes on the personality/age/other characteristics of the abuser. Based on my understanding of his characterization, I feel that Ben Solo also suffers from DID. 

“My boy. I have been every voice, you have ever heard, inside your head.” -Palpatine in Ben Solo’s mind 

The voices that Ben Solo hears throughout his life are coded as psychologically/emotionally abusive intrusive thoughts (enacted on his psyche by an abuser) and not as the auditory and/or command hallucinations experienced by individuals with psychotic disorders. As these thoughts/voices have been relentless since before his nascence, Ben Solo’s young psyche would have fractured into at least one alter in order to protect himself. This alter is Kylo Ren, which is the personality of his abuser…Snoke/Palpatine. This alter takes over whenever his psyche determines that the host, Ben Solo, is in need of protection. The alter absorbs all of the mental anguish and abuse so that Ben Solo may remain intact and unharmed. The mask motif of Kylo ren as well as the “fractured” symbolism reflects this fractured/protective persona. The viewer does get to see Ben Solo (the host) on a handful of occasions, and only when he feels safe. All of these instances involve Han and Rey, the only two individuals to have ever understood him or offered him comfort. 

The Jungian concept of the shadow (or Anima/Animus) is also incorporated into this alter-state depiction of his character, and Ben Solo must integrate his shadow, Kylo Ren, in order to achieve balance and harmony. 

The most recent and well-developed depiction of “The Shadow” can be seen in Arronofsky’s Black Swan. The movie, in some subtle but unmistakable hints/scenes, implies that the ballerina Nina Sayers has been sexually and emotionally abused by her narcissistic mother since her childhood. In order to protect herself from this substantial developmental trauma, Nina fractures her psyche into two distinct personalities: the host/white swan, who remains a pre-pubescent child, and the alter/black swan, who takes on the darker & older shadow personality of her abuser (her mother). Due to the added stress of her new role, this split takes on some depersonalization symptoms where she sees her alter outside of herself (in her own image) as well as in Lily (the real-world personification of her alter/shadow). Nina also suffers from OCD, which, in conjunction with the dissociative states and the added pressure from her role and continuing abuse (both sexual & emotional) from mother as well as now her teacher….leads Nina to a psychotic break, causing some really graphic and frightening visual/auditory hallucinations. 

Now, it is important to note that this movie does also take some artistic license with mental health (Dissociative Disorders and Psychotic Disorders don’t exist together) for the sake of storytelling, but the DID and depersonalization pieces are depicted quite accurately and artistically in Black Swan

Nina is a cautionary tale….she does not integrate her shadow. For the sake of artistic perfection, she instead chooses to battle with it violently and uses it to deliver a “perfect” Odile/Odette performance, ultimately causing a metaphorical “psychological death” by fracturing her psyche beyond the point of repair. But to her, it was worth it because she “was perfect.” 

Ben’s integration happens half-way through TROS (which happens, in my opinion, far too late in the movie for coherent storytelling, but we all already know how I feel about this movie) when his fracture (symbolized by the scar), is “healed” by Rey, both literally and figuratively. Ben confronts his alter/shadow by having a conversation with the memory of his dad, relieving his alter/shadow of the burden of holding his trauma and integrating the shadow into the host Ben Solo. 

In reality, this integration is nowhere near this brief or painless (typically requires years and years of trauma therapy). But again, this is a movie (and a really shitty one at that). 

Here’s my brief explanation of why what DLF did to Ben Solo’s character is so harmful for mental health depiction/stigma and how it was directly harmful for those who identified with his character…

Ben Solo, after integrating his shadow, basically committed suicide on screen. It being a sacrifice does not mean it wasn’t a suicide. He made the choice to end his life in a “noble” way, which is a really morally absolute and unhealthy way to atone for our past mistakes/transgressions. It is a reflection of how punitive and morally absolute American society is (our mass incarceration and the death penalty are a testament to this). Not only did DLF send the message to mentally ill individuals with similar backgrounds (particularly children) that they are not deserving of being rehabilitated, but also sent the message that they may achieve redemption and a semblance of peace only in their death. Those who are struggling with mental health issues, particularly children, are extremely vulnerable to being influenced by messages in cinema. I myself have had several patients who have indicated to me that they want to die, but in a noble way that would make their death “mean” something. Particularly to people/children already in mental health crisis, who expected a Star Wars movie (as SW movies have historically done), to leave them with a sense of hope, instead received such a hopeless and unforgiving message. I can say from personal experience as a child therapist that this movie has negatively affected the mental health of children(particularly young boys) who love Star Wars and identified with Ben Solo. Ben Solo isn’t the “ideal” trauma survivor (like Rey), and that doesn’t mean that he is unworthy of life & rehabilitation. This isn’t just about a character’s death. This is about something much deeper, much bigger, and downright fundamental to humanity…something direly needed today in the present socio-political landscape……COMPASSION. 

Only the Sith deal in absolutes. 

#EndTheStigma 

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tagging some mutuals & fellow psychology/neuroscience/mental health/social work professionals: @pinkhairjustdontcare​ @hazel2468​ @fkef​ @nerfherderbinniegirl​ 

For the love of God, reblog if you still love Lemony Snicket. I am getting genuinely upset, because I feel like I am the only one left.

Don’t let the antis get you down

I would like this to be a well written post, but bear with me because it will probably turn into a rant with how passionate I am about this. 

Yes, there are absolutely some really negative “leaks/ spoilers” about a disappointing ending for Ben fans. Some of them may have actually come from people who were at the premiere like they said they were, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they were true. How many years have we put up with bullying and lies from the antis? When TLJ came out, didn’t they stick to their story of how Rey would be revealed as Luke’s daughter within the first part of the film until we all started to get into theaters and see it for ourselves? 

I could be wrong, every single leak out there could be true. But doesn’t it seem more realistic that they might be trying to ruin the final hours for us before the movie becomes available for general viewing? We have heard nothing but positive from JJ and the cast about this movie. They promise it is hopeful, satisfying, romantic, comedic, we won’t leave the theater disappointed, etc. Adam came out and said that his role as Kylo Ren/ Ben was an exact opposite as Vader’s. How could he say that if Ben ends up dead at the end, just like Vader did? Could they really say all those things knowing that we were about to watch the last of the Skywalker bloodline die on a big screen? Would anyone truly be happy about Rey just randomly assuming the Skywalker name? I know it is hard, but please, please try to keep some perspective. Let’s all remember that piece of advice we have heard a million times - don’t believe everything you see on the internet. 

Apart from the antis, DLF does not have a history of letting real leaks live when it comes to Star Wars. Who remembers the blogger who got shut down because their theory was too close to the actual plot? If they would take down a theory to protect the film, I don’t believe they would let actual leaks stay online for so long. 

And for all of you out there who have commented on my posts or messaged me directly, telling me to stop giving people hope: GET TF OFF MY BLOG! Hope is what this blog is about. Hope is what STAR WARS is about! If we let go of the cornerstone of a story, then what is the point anymore?

Moral of the story: the only “sources” you should take as 100% fact are your own two eyeballs after they’ve sat in theaters and watched this movie for themselves.