It's So Draining Xo

The greatest trick of the patriarchy was to teach countless generations of women to be kind.

We can talk about statistics all day long, but the weaponisation of our compassion is what keeps us on our knees.

When we see studies about violence, the immediate reaction is but men can be victims, too, and examples like that are why the false ideas of the patriarchy hurts men, too and feminism is for everybody are so prevalent. Women have been so broken down by generations upon generations of manipulation through be kind that is feels wrong, that it feels psychologically painful to centre ourselves.

Instead of women being able to come together and fight for our rights as one, this malicious forced compassion makes us sideline and silence ourselves, with the reward being tricked into feeling like I'm a good and selfless person. When women dare to centre ourselves and put ourselves first reasonably, then we're gaslit into believing that we're being selfish, cruel and even violent, and when other women snap and snarl, tired of our treatment, then they're entirely dismissed as being any modern version of hysteric.

Men like to hide behind the idea that we're the manipulative ones that psychologically damage, but without a thousand generations of men reinforcing that we should think again and actually have kindness and compassion for others, women as a whole would be able to see through the blinders of oppression.

After all, to be anti-prostitution has been reframed as hating sex workers.

Fighting against systemic violence and rape against women is ignoring male victims and supporting female perpetrators.

Protecting female-only spaces is excluding a vulnerable minority's right to exist.

Few ordinary women want to be made to feel like they're hateful or cruel. As soon as we talk about women's issues, examples of individual men are brought up, and women are tricked into talking about them by either proving how kind we are ("of course I don't want anyone to be raped, male victims deserve help!") to distract us from our issues and re-centre men again, or women dismiss that obviously malicious call for compassion ("feminism isn't about men, sort your own issues out!") and then men use it as a reason as to why feminism is evil, because anything without kindness and compassion is wrong.

Women need to be taught that it's not unkind to put ourselves first, and that men use our compassion against us.

In feminism, our kindness and compassion must be reserved for our fellow women.

Women can be kind and compassionate to men in their private lives if they want, but that isn't part of feminism - and they need to be reminded that they won't get that kindness and compassion returned.

2 April, 1937 Letters to Véra by Vladimir Nabokov

we barely move , only breathy laughs between us as we lay together

(we’re trying not to wake Desire)

(Desire, the monster that makes us serious)

nothing I hate more than men “bravely destroying western propaganda”. I’ve met many afghan women in america on asylum. it’s all true. every fucking word.

Dude showed fuck-all and thinks that somehow proves that "the West" is lying about women in Afghanistan being oppressed. As if these men would ever tell the truth regarding a woman's plight.

This is lazy propaganda and anyone who isn't completely delusional can see right through it.

(Channel name is Arab)

the muslim men wear long white pants and tunics in airy, breathable fabric. their headwear is red or black or white to symbolise their culture. Jordanian, Saudi Arabian. The muslim Women wear long black robes, loose and shapeless. their faces are covered, sometimes, also veiled in black fabric. Theories as to this sea of black and white we see in muslim countries:

-Black fabric is breathable without any chance of being see through. the men, of course, don’t have to worry about see through clothing, because no one is trying to see through to their skin.

-Black is not a color. it isn’t noticeable, it cannot catch eyes. A Woman in pink, white, blue is a treat for her husband.

-the colours are a symbol. The men wear white because they are pure, made in the image of God. the Women wear black , a burdensome color in the hot sun, as penance for being the original sin.

But my theory is a little different . When I see those Women, shapeless, lacking identity, dragging this hot fabric around in the beaming desert sun, I see people in mourning. Women, who don’t even realise it, are forced to live in the wake of their own potential, had they not been forced into this binary. Gender, in this society, is divided into two:the sin, and the one compelled by sin. And, even if it’s for a brief moment, before the reality of it comes back to me, I see Women mourning themselves.

those “ desserts” that are just greek yogurt whey protein powder and liquid aspartame 💔 they have to mix for twenty minutes cause there’s more powder than liquid 💔🥀

the size 2 food influencer who is trying to sell you on “tofu chocolate mousse” is suffering mentally and she wants you to suffer with her. the mousse tastes like tofu because it’s made of tofu. it doesn’t taste like chocolate mousse because it’s not chocolate mousse. not everything you eat has to be high in protein and low in carbs and low in fat. i know this because i also suffered mentally once. in my suffering i made the “tofu chocolate mousse” and i ate the “tofu chocolate mousse” and you have to trust me.

you’re not a real feminist if you don’t piss off both the left and the right

happy international Women’s day!! (every day for me)

joins tumblr to pass time

becomes a radical feminist

just a few more minutes please?

in your arms, before it gets complicated?

just a couple more touches, here and there?

a few more movie dates?

just one more chance to straddle you in warm lake water and kiss you until i get shy of watching eyes

just a few more minutes walking around a shopping mall, hesitating to hold your hand,

just one more hike, one more perfect view

just another t shirt that smells like you?

or maybe another long drive in your car

or just a few more phone calls

with that deep tired voice

before it gets old

before you get mean

before it fades

just a few more moments

and then i’ll walk away

#(a poem for when it’s only a matter of time)