"Show, don’t tell" means letting readers experience a story through actions, senses, and dialogue instead of outright explaining things. Here are some practical tips to achieve that:
Tell: "The room was cold."
Show: "Her breath puffed in faint clouds, and she shivered as frost clung to the edges of the window."
Tell: "He was scared."
Show: "His hands trembled, and his heart thudded so loudly he was sure they could hear it too."
Tell: "She was angry."
Show: "She slammed the mug onto the counter, coffee sloshing over the rim as her jaw clenched."
Tell: "He was exhausted."
Show: "He stumbled through the door, collapsing onto the couch without even bothering to remove his shoes."
What characters say and how they say it can reveal their emotions, intentions, or traits.
Tell: "She was worried about the storm."
Show: "Do you think it'll reach us?" she asked, her voice tight, her fingers twisting the hem of her shirt.
Tell: "He was jealous of his friend."
Show: "As his friend held up the trophy, he forced a smile, swallowing the bitter lump rising in his throat."
Use the setting to mirror or hint at emotions or themes.
Tell: "The town was eerie."
Show: "Empty streets stretched into the mist, and the only sound was the faint creak of a weathered sign swinging in the wind."
Give enough clues for the reader to piece things together without spelling it out.
Tell: "The man was a thief."
Show: "He moved through the crowd, fingers brushing pockets, his hand darting away with a glint of gold."
What’s left unsaid can reveal as much as what’s spoken.
Tell: "They were uncomfortable around each other."
Show: "He avoided her eyes, pretending to study the painting on the wall. She smoothed her dress for the third time, her fingers fumbling with the hem."
Use metaphors, similes, or comparisons to make an emotion or situation vivid.
Tell: "The mountain was huge."
Show: "The mountain loomed above them, its peak disappearing into the clouds, as if it pierced the heavens."
Tell: "The village had been destroyed by the fire."
Show: "Charred beams jutted from the rubble like broken ribs, the acrid smell of ash lingering in the air. A child's shoe lay half-buried in the soot, its leather curled from the heat."
choose your fighter
a lot of stories treat romance like it makes the relationship between two characters self explanatory and to be honest it doesn’t
Writing advice from my uni teachers:
If your dialog feels flat, rewrite the scene pretending the characters cannot at any cost say exactly what they mean. No one says “I’m mad” but they can say it in 100 other ways.
Wrote a chapter but you dislike it? Rewrite it again from memory. That way you’re only remembering the main parts and can fill in extra details. My teacher who was a playwright literally writes every single script twice because of this.
Don’t overuse metaphors, or they lose their potency. Limit yourself.
Before you write your novel, write a page of anything from your characters POV so you can get their voice right. Do this for every main character introduced.
first drawing of 2023 :]
Experimental fight scene
✨Offline with glasses✨
(yes his name is Offline... and yes a horrible name really...)
“Don’t worry, I’ve got a guy.”
You’re the guy everyone’s got.
It took me a while but I finally realised why Mystic Flour and Dark Cacao are positioned as opposites, or ying and yang. Dark Cacao as we know is a character all about hope. He keeps going no matter what. He is a warrior king of a warrior nation and will go down fighting, keeping the hope and sacrificing his life for the sake of others to his very last breath. “There is hope because we live.” Is what he says.
On the other hand we have Mystic. She is a saint, a Demi god of sorts who’s been around for a very long time and her danger lies in her extreme nihilism. Her philosophy, her battle tactics, everything she wishes to do is for this one goal — to make everyone "return to flour", which is just a pompous way of saying "perish". Not only does she believe life to be completely meaningless and therefore gives up on it, she wants everyone else to jump down that pit with her because she sees the very act of life as suffering. Perishing is a "release", and it sounds like something out of a cult because it is. It’s a cult-like mindset and that is what makes Mystic the foil to Cacao. She is the essence of giving up hope and passion, the essence of apathy while Cacao is all spirit and passion. The war between them is more than just a cookie conflict; it’s a war of beliefs, of almost religious nihilism against a passionate existentialism.
It’s a cookie game btw.