“So You’ll Never Guess What. I’m Sitting In My Therapist’s Waiting Room. Usually, There’s Nobody

“So you’ll never guess what. I’m sitting in my therapist’s waiting room. Usually, there’s nobody around besides me in that room because my therapist likes to make sure everyone is spaced out.

This boy with a bright as heck pink jacket with flip flops, he walks in with what looks like his girlfriend from the way she’s comforting him. They sit in the chair across from me. I don’t mind the company, it’s just a bit awkward. So I decide to make some conversation. It’s nice to hear what others go through, you know?

So I ask the guy, “What happened for you end up here?”

This kid, he looks me straight in the eye with the most serious of faces, and says “I’m the son of an alien queen.” He doesn’t elaborate.

Not knowing what to say to that, I smile sympathetically and go back to playing angry birds while I wait. I don’t really know what happened to him, since he never came back.”

Steven Universe ended on a great note, but now I just really want a spinoff series about Steven travelling across America and inflicting his own brand of weirdness on people

“So this guy walks into the diner. I say ‘guy’ because I had no idea how old he was, he was either a very tall child or a babyfaced grandpa. He’s wearing a bright pink varsity jacket and flip-flops, and when he’s done breakfast he gives me a fifty-dollar tip on a five dollar breakfast. So now I’m thinking, ‘Oh, I gotta know more about this guy,’ and I ask him what he does for work.

“And this guy looks at me, and he looks like the oldest man in the world, and he says, and I quote, ‘I used to run a school but I retired because the stress was killing me,’ and walks out. I think about him maybe once a week.”