In The Dark I Tend To Wake Up Early Because I Like The Dark. I Tried Making A Little Story To Explain

Shout out to the little girl at my store today who had a shirt that said "skeleton mouse" and she was carrying around a plushie of a rat, had hair clips in her hair that had rats on them, and a necklace with a rodent skull on it.

As I was checking her mother out at the register she pulled out a handful of rubber rats from her pocket and put them on my counter, to which her mother sighed and said "no sweetie, he doesn't need rats" to which I just looked at her like this

crunch crunch. eee yaah! eeeem. crunch. aha ah mm hmm ah. crunch. s good. yea yea yea. crunch crunch. ah aha aha

*taps the evergreen xkcd comic*

I just read "i have a tech illiterate friend but even she has her torrents!".... like almost all of my coworkers ask to me to "fix" resident TVs by... putting the tv on the correct input

You know, I'm an old-fashioned sort of guy. I don't think it's cool to get corrupted by evil fucked-up sorts of magic. Like oh you were purely good at the start but these dark and malevolent powers put the desire to do evil into your heart? Weak. Pathetic. Boring.

I believe that mysterious and awesome powers should have no mind controlling power at all, no will of its own. Just awesome and powerful, and you want to use them for good. And then you do some little sketchy things with it here and there, just to further your goals of good, right? Your agenda is for good. For the greater good, to make the world a better place. Sometimes you just gotta discreetly dispose of a corpse. And disappear some people who were standing in your way. Because this magic is awesome and powerful and morally neutral so therefore you are totally capable of using it purely for good.

Now that's some good magic corruption right there. The potential for evil was within you all along.

Tip: you can microwave stale croissant for 15-20 seconds and it will become soft and warm and nice. Cut it open, put butter in it. Peace and love

(ALL HAIL OBLIVION!)

That's Bishop of the Chalcedony Thurible. He can see the true nature of the void.

(LIFE IS SUFFERING. IN DEATH, WE FIND FREEDOM!)

But can he see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

(UHH... 'TWAS ORDAINED BY THE NEVERBORN?)

Beat it, bonehead! There's cinnamon sugar swirls in every bite! Mmm...

An undying part of this balanced breakfast.

I FUCKING LOVE GRASS

I LOVE GRASSLANDS BIOMES

I LOVE PRAIRIES

I LOVE STEPPES

HOUSE FOR BUGS

FOOD FOR HERBIES (short for herbivores)

CAMOUFLAGE FOR CARNIES (short for carnivores)

GRASS IS GOOD, BIODIVERSITY IS GOOD, STOP MOWING YOUR FUCKING LAWNS

I WISH IT HAD ALL BEEN DIFFERENT!!!!!