Just Want To Put This Out Here Before They Kill April Off - Jackson Avery Will Not Love Another Woman

sunday rhett appreciation

I hope you guys like…eventually live the life you want to live and I hope nothing haunts you for too long and I hope you’re all kind to yourselves

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I have looked at you in a million different ways

                                    and I have loved you in each and everyone of them. (insp.)

delirium

link stays up most nights wondering what it’d be like. he feels needy, replaying the same scenes like they console the broken parts of his heart. he’s making it worse, dreaming up the missing pieces, but then rhett shows up with a girl, another blonde, and his imagination sharpens. link’s lovesick, jealous and obsessed. he’s spending tonight alone in his room, wishing they’d never moved into a house together, pining for the 25year-old he’s bound his life to. 

rhett’s out tonight, and link’s curled up in his blankets, deep in a fantasy of what it’d be like to date him. the girls he brings home always like him, starry-eyed and draping themselves on his tallness, fitting their hips between his big hands and leaning on their tip-toes for beardy kisses. and when rhett takes them out, link imagines what it’d be like to ride with rhett somewhere special. for rhett to put on all his best moves, reserve a date night in a restaurant above his means just to prove he’s more than handsome. more than smug, masculine, reaching a hand under the table for his date’s thigh, giving his best toothy grin, wiggling his eyebrows. he’d be too charming, magnificent, and link whines in the dark. 

he plays with the idea of rhett showing him off like he does what’s-her-name, parading link as his boyfriend, touching him in confidence like they’re both lucky to be pretty. link thinks about being with him in a group, tucked into his side at a bonfire, a park, a movie night. kissing him against the door of a car, worming a hand into his pocket. calling him beau and babe, being praised in return. being touched, hugged, kissed, claimed. link feels himself get hot as his brain defies him, leads him into territory he’s desperate to avoid, but never does.

link thinks about laughter in daylight and moans after nightfall. dating rhett means having him in that way, the one way link’s never had for himself, and he burns in his lonely bed, kicking off his blankets. link breathes hard through his nose and keeps his hands at his sides as the fantasy takes control of him - rhett pushing him through the house after a late-night date, mouth gnawing kisses into his neck as his hands rove under his t-shirt. those girls, they have rhett when he’s warm, aroused and pliant, when he’s snuffling into their chests and sucking them where they’re sensitive. when his bigness is horizontal, crushing the body beneath him and squirming like an animal impatient to mate.

he’s heard the moans, link has, and the noises of a squeaking bed and breathless grunts fill his head as his hand sneaks down the front of his boxers. memory and fantasy meet in imaginary sensation, and link can almost feel rhett’s body pressing him down. rhett’s hand on him, tongue in his ear, telling him you’re mine, and god says we’re allowed to make love… calling him honey, warming link up in perfect touches like a boyfriend familiar to the curves of his body, licking him where it feels good and fitting between his legs.

link throws his head back in a whine as the scenes flick, tightens his hand on himself and rolls through confused images of rhett in bed, rhett in his arms, rhett as his date. he’s panting, whimpering under his breath, so lost to what could be, should be, isn’t, squirming like he’s sure dating rhett would leave his partner in a state of delirium. link burns in swirling ecstasy as his whines grow ever-noisier, and he’s so worked up that he doesn’t hear rhett return from his date.

he doesn’t hear rhett tell a female friend to wait in the den, his footsteps as he approaches link’s bedroom door, nor his ragged breath, and he definitely doesn’t hear rhett clap a hand over his mouth and groan into it because he can hear link on the other side, whining and crying rhett’s name in delirious pleasure.

Fellow Mythical Beasts

If you are interested in buying one of the Proud Mythical Beast shirts, it's available in the store now. It says it's only for 48 hours so go get one!

I'm in awe of how eloquently and profoundly expressed that was. I also want to thank you so much for sharing that! What they have done with such an amazing character and true love story is tragic and devastating but we take back the power to decide it doesn't end that way.

I was 13 when Jackson stood up at April’s wedding. I squealed and spent the whole day on twitter and on this blog that was already called queenkepner. Their love story inspired and excited me so much that I decided to try and write fan-fiction for the first time.

I was 16 when Japril The Movie came out, and I dreamily watched as a decade of their lives unfolded in front of me. While the end had me in tears, seeing their lives flicker in front of my eyes, I remained hopeful they would make their way back to each other.

I was 18 when they reunited in Montana, and though I had lost some faith in the show, I watched the episode anyway. I felt like a 13 year old staying up in her dimmed bedroom all over again. I started writing again after the episode, something I’d long forgone, fueled and excited by their love.

This year, I will be going to university to study writing and literature. I’ve started my own book, I’m in the midst of writing a Japril fic with well over 30,000 words, and none of this would have ever happened without Jackson and April’s love story.

They compelled me at an age where I didn’t know much about love, showed me what it’s like when two people become best friends after a tragedy, and when best friends turn into something more. Their clumsy relationship in on-call rooms, his stoic perseverance to let her get married, the storm inside of him when he saw the love of his life about to marry someone else. Then, a blissful marriage, she’s the one and i love our secret marriage bubble and a love so real and so profound I haven’t felt the same for a fictional couple since. Through weddings and child loss and divorces and child birth, they remained each other’s person, and I will never believe the terrible writing they’ve given us this season in order to fit their own twisted narrative.

Jackson and April are soul mates, and they are fictional, which means I choose to decide their story doesn’t end like this. I’ll leave you with this quote, which fits many of the things that I still wish to say, 6 years after I created this blog for them. To Sarah and Jesse, you remarkably brought together two characters that changed my life, I thank you. To Jackson and April, you showed me what an epic, world-shattering and soul-searing love is. Thank you.

For you, a thousand times over.

But when you close your eyes, may you remember

The first 18 years of your life is not representative of how the rest will go. The sooner you realize this, the better off you’ll be.