:)))

was telling my therapist about how i've always used books, fanfic, and storytelling as escapism but now instead of me consuming stories, stories consume me. dalton gave me The Look (the one that means he's gonna say something i need to hear but don't want to) before asking, "you know that snake that eats itself?" to which i said, "yeah, ouroboros." and he replied, "i didn't know he had a name, that's cool. anyway, you're the snake. i know you've convinced yourself the consumption is filling, but it's not. when it's you you’re eating, it's destruction."

like yeah i know that’s not what the snake represents and ex-cowboy-turned-combat-vet-turned-trauma specialist dalton probably does not know the exact symbolism behind it but like. jesus christ man did that to lay me to waste at 10:30 on a wednesday morning.

and even though he hurt my feelings with the truth, it did put it into perspective for me.

it’s not levity’s lighthouse guiding me to port when depression’s darkness and anxiety’s turbulent waves make it difficult for me to sail smoothly on my voyage.

it’s not a way to alleviate my symptoms, it’s a manifestation of them.

it’s a compulsion, deceptively insidious when cloaked in distraction’s pseudo-warmth. when easily covered by procrastination’s much easier to swallow explanation.

and i’m sure you want to say “but reading is a healthy coping mechanism!”

and it is. when done in moderation.

it’s no longer coping when your screen time is 16 hours a day. when 12 of those hours a day are spent scuttling about ao3 on all fours. when you sit in the same spot on the couch for hours on end with your head buried in the sand. when it’s literally all you can think about.

the consumption isn’t coping. isn’t creation. isn’t reconstruction or rebirth or reformation. it’s chaos. it’s compulsion.

it’s cannibalism.

phantom is terrible about infiltrating the other ghoul’s personal spaces, bedrooms, and belongings. he takes stuff all of the time that does not belong to him and never lets anyone know where that “really cool souvenir” went until they ask. their bedroom? that’s phantom’s if he decides that the lighting is nice or that the fire is set just right… if he sees a neatly made bed that is just begging to be slept in, he will. there is no such thing as privacy or personal belongings with that ghoul around

AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAaaAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I am so invested in your posts about Mountain and his pack of moms.

Does Mountain turn into a big kit whenever he visits them? Like a college kid who goes back home to his family during holidays.

- @ghouletteanon

(I did exactly two Google searches and these are the names for the previous drummers I found. I went with Terra over Gamma for obvious elemental reasons. I think there's three total? My inbox and DMs are open to any and all earth ghoul stans who know more than I do.)

Nothing terrible under the cut except the horror of knowing your parental figures have sex.

He knows Pebble's aware as soon as he sets foot into the deeper woods. The trees and mycelium networks are her eyes and ears, leaves rustling with wind-carried words to wherever she is. Not a single twig in this forest snaps without her knowing about it, which would give anyone else an incredible headache but Pebble seems to like it just fine.

And sure enough, he doesn't get but a yard or so before she's there. Sitting on an ancient log like she's been there the whole time waiting for him to pass by, even though he knew he'd been alone just moments ago.

She's all criss-crossed up from her arms to her legs, still as a statue as she watches him approach with his picnic basket. He doesn't say anything; he knows this routine well enough by now. Pebble can get odd, when left to her own devices for too long. The others are usually good at bringing her back to herself though.

Food helps too. Not the food she can scavenge from the forest like berries and mushrooms and prey animals eaten raw. Food that's been altered, baked, cooked. He lifts the cloth of the picnic basket and lets the warm smell of fresh bread waft out. Her nostrils flair and she stands up, quick as a wink. With one quick nod, she's off; darting through the undergrowth like a fox. It's on him to keep up, but he knows she'll come back for him if he lays behind too far. She'll get impatient but she'll always come back.

The path is different every time he visits. Some trick of Terra's to keep strangers out if they aren't guided in but he doesn't mind. He knows how much they value privacy and the time it takes to get to the destination is never too long. The undergrowth thins out, the trees grow further and further apart until they're in Ivy's garden with Ivy herself bending over to tug up a bundle of root vegetables. Pebble licks her fingertips as she walks over, delivering a loud and resounding smack to Ivy's rear end that Mountain glances away to avoid seeing barely in the nick of time.

"Pebble!" Ivy shouts, shooting up straight and cuffing the small menace in return. "Just once, a hello would be nice to hear instead of-"

"Hello." Mountain calls, walking between the rows to her with a wave. She turns around again and her happiness is so infectious that nearby plants immediately start flowering in response. Pebble takes the opportunity to dart into the little home that's been carved into the earth, set into the base of gentle slope covered in soft green grass.

"Mountain!" She cries, dropping her harvest into the dirt and leaping over the plants to catch him up in a bear hug. "Oh, I was just thinking about you! Terra was saying you were all back from tour, so of course we've been expecting you but honestly not so soon and-"

"Let that boy breathe." Comes a deeper voice from the doorway of the little home. Mountain straightens up automatically, brushing a few fly aways out of her face as Terra easily lopes over with her cane. She stops a few feet away, looks over him with a critical eye and he's acutely aware of every wrinkle and stain in his clothes, the way his right boot's come untied and how the flannel he has on now was definitely hers once upon a time.

"Suppose we'll have to take you as you are then." Terra says, a telling twinkle in her eye though her face remains firm. "What'd you bring us this time?"

"Harvest bread." He says, finally handing over the picnic basket. "Gooseberry and raspberry jam. Two kinds of cheese. Wine and whiskey and weed."

"Good stuff." Ivy says in approval.

"We'll see." Terra says. Then, "Pebble, don't you dare."

Pebble slinks out from behind Terra, hands raised in innocence even as her tail whips back. It's caught just in time by Terra's own tail, wrangled into submission as Mountain pretends to be thoroughly engrossed by his feet. He's not a prude, far from it but it just feels awkward to watch the ones who helped him with his first moments Topside be...like that.

"Welcome back." Terra says fondly after Pebble yanks her tail away and stomps off to set the table. Ivy picks up her vegetables again and goes to put her gardening tools away. "Tell us where you've been this whole time."

"All over." Mountain begins. And, like he always does, hits his head on the doorframe on the way in.

Some things never change.

Surprise🐾

The cats playground

Sorry, it's my headcanon, they're like cats... demon-cats, nothing more to say, bye

Aether deserves to crumble, to fall apart under the pressure, and to be pulled into Dew's warm embrace and allowed to experience every ugly emotion he's dutifully swallowed down for years.

Are they really busy or did they just block me😝