.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

<3

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Waking up in a hospital bed was not something you thought you would do in a very long time. The hospital smell, the fabric that makes up the gowns, the obnoxious sounds from the many machines that crowd the room, it was all something that you’d wanted to avoid for a long time. And yet, here you were. Your eyes droopy and hair messy, laying in a hospital bed.

“For someone who just came back from surgery, you look great.”

Rolling your eyes, you flipped the channel again. Hitoshi and Izuku had been waiting for you to get back, every time you opened your eyes they were there. You couldn’t decide if it was annoying or comforting.

“Yeah whatever, get me a pudding dickwad.”

Izuku laughed as Hitoshi stuck his tongue out at you, but left the room to get what you asked for anyways. You laid your head back, sighing deeply. The last 24 hours had been the most eventful 24 hours in a long time, and you never really had the time to sit down and process. In a way, you’re more warn out by the festival and that argument with Katsuki than the surgery that had to clean up the mess that was the inside of your body.

When you first woke up, you weren’t entirely conscious, still going in and out of consciousness. All you could see and hear was Hitoshi and Izuku talking to the doctors, hearing words such as “alcohol” and “blood.” At one point your friends saw that you were trying to wake up and they rushed to your side, feeling a hand push back your hair while another held your right hand. You really wish you could hear what they were saying, but everything was so muffled and bright. It was like being underwater with a spotlight being shined on you.

The second time you woke, and stayed awake, was after the surgery. You were tired, and grumpy, refusing to use full sentences with Izuku and Hitoshi once you were fully aware of the situation. However, these are the people that know you best, and it didn’t take them very long to break you.

When they did, you had successfully broke down sobbing, both of them practically jumping onto the bed to hold you. It had been so long since you’ve cried like that, but after the previous day of pain and stress there was no better way to let it go. You told them everything, from the pains you were getting all the way to your fight with Katsuki. They both nodded along, claiming that Katsuki had told them about the fight that night after you had been taken away in the ambulance. It had taken you a while to recover, and your heavy sobbing did worry the nurses, but you settled down eventually. After that, you noticed that your friends had sent you plenty of “get well” presents, and Shoto was on FaceTime for way too long.

Opening your eyes, you sat back up before turning to look at Izuku in the chair next to you. You couldn’t believe that the both of them stayed the night with you, just like last year. It felt all to eerily similar to last year, just, without the passing out after an argument part.

“What is it n/n? Are you still hurting? Tell me where.”

Izuku was by your side in an instant, pushing on your ribcage and watching your face for discomfort. However, your facial expression was simply a straight face and you gently pulled his hands away. He noticed the mood quickly and sat in front of you, giving you those famous doe eyes of his.

“I was such a bitch to him, Zu.”

You sat criss cross, refusing to make eye contact with the man who sat in front of you. You knew if you looked at him you would start crying again, and the swelling around your eyes just went down.

Taking another breath, you spoke again.

“I drunkenly made out with a stranger at a party, and ended up creating this whole…relationship with him! We called almost every night, texted each other everything, went out into the town together…and the whole time…I was lying to myself.”

“Lying to yourself about what, y/n?”

There was a pause after Izuku closed his mouth, and you were still looking away from him. The two of you sat there, the noises from machines around you and the TV being the only sound filling the room. You could feel Izuku’s stare, he’s always been known to have a weirdly intimate stare, his eyes being able to speak for him.

You opened your mouth to talk again, before finding you didn’t know what else to say. Izuku noticed and cupped your hands in his, and gently spoke up.

“Y/n, you knew you had feelings for him since your first day on the job,” he chuckled, making you look up at him with glaring eyes. His face softened, but the smile was still there.

Before he could speak again, Hitoshi returned with the pudding with a raised eyebrow.

“Are we having another break down?”

Izuku thinned his lips as you flipped off your best friend, but he ignored both of you and sat down next to you on the bed. He handed you the pudding and threw an arm around you, Izuku’s hands still holding your free hand.

“No, just talking,” Izuku glared at Hitoshi who threw his free hand up in defense. He looked back at you and let your hand go so you could eat your pudding, then continued to talk.

“You haven’t been lying to yourself, you’re not that type of person. You and I both know you were a hundred percent aware of your feelings, and I’m sure that’s all you could think about it. You just decided not to act on them because you were scared to mess up all the hard work you put into recovering from a pretty traumatizing event.”

As you ate your pudding you melted into the bed some more, not liking the feeling of both of your best friends staring at you. Not to mention talking about your love life made you want to pass out again so you didn’t have to be conscious for this. Maybe if you just closed your eyes…

“Do I think you lead him on? I hate to say it, but yes.”

Surprised with his words, you glanced up at him. He was looking at you, a serious expression on his face.

“There were so many different ways you could have dealt with the situation, but just because you did that doesn’t mean you’re a ‘bitch’ or deserved to be yelled at like that.”

You looked away again, but found yourself thinking over these past months. He wasn’t wrong. You liked Katsuki in not-so platonic way, put so much energy and effort into him but still called him a friend. It wasn’t right, and just like Katsuki said, you are a coward. You knew about your feelings towards the blond but you were just too scared to act on them, you were terrified something bad would happen if you did.

Surprisingly, Hitoshi was the one who spoke up again. which was probably the works of Izuku’s weird eye contact language

“You were scared, and you’re still scared. Shitty things happened to you, not just the car accident but all of your fucked up relationships too. No one is blaming you for not dating this guy, no matter how much you drooled over him.”

You smacked his chest, but Hitoshi just chuckled and continued.

“You don’t even have to date him now if you’re not ready, that’s okay. But you do have to apologize to him and explain the situation. Just talk to him, I’m more than certain he wants to talk things out too.”

More silence, but at least this one was a comfortable one since your friends were done speaking. Now, you just had to sit and think about all of this, process it.

You worked so hard to build your life back up. Your confidence, strength, mental and physical health. The idea of being in a serious relationship scared the shit out of you, not wanting to have another person worried about you. You wanted that independence, wanted to prove to yourself that you could take care of yourself, that you didn’t need someone breathing down your neck. You wanted to be strong, worthy of Katsuki’s love and care.

But, now that you think about that, it’s so stupid.

You were so worried about being a burden to all of your loved ones, that you didn’t even notice that you were drowning in yourself. Your friends, Katsuki, they wanted to be there for you. You aren’t needy, and just because they help you doesn’t mean you’re not independent or strong. They love you just as much you love them, and you should embrace them.

You love your friends.

You love Katsuki.

Your eyes widen when you take the last bite of your pudding.

You’re in love with Bakugou Katsuki.

“Oh my god,” you groan, running a hand down your face.

Izuku and Hitoshi pipe up at your response, Hitoshi raising an amused eyebrow while Izuku’s eyebrows furrow in concern.

“I’m in love with fucking Bakugou Katsuki.”

When you look back at your friends, there are two very different people looking at you. Izuku, is looking knowingly at you, with a gentle smile. Hitoshi however, your best friend, is looking at you trying not to laugh.

Groaning again, you lay back in your bed, eyes looking up at the ceiling. You feel Hitoshi leave your side and walk over to the other side of you while Izuku moves further up to replace Hitoshi’s spot.

“Okay, I have to say it,” Hitoshi sits down on the chair next to your bed as you and Izuku look at Hitoshi’s questioningly.

“Out of all the guys, him? Really? I mean I know he’s a model but there’s no way-“

Instead of letting your so-called-friend continue, you shut him up quickly with a pillow to the face. Izuku immediately burst out in laughter at the action, and you couldn’t help but giggle yourself after seeing Hitoshi’s reaction.

All this is shit you’ve gone through is scary, and in a way the future is even more terrifying. But right now, even after having surgery, you’ve never felt more secure. You have the worlds best friends, and you’re in love with Bakugou Katsuki. Now when you’re scared, you don’t have to feel weak for asking for help, you’re going to let the people who care about you, love you.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

soon you’ll get better

RAHHHHH

that’s all i have to say, good day.

no seriously i rlly have nothing more to say😭😭😭 i rlly don’t think i should do fun facts, and even if i should idk if i can….also it’s like 11:53 as i’m writing this so imma just chop chop so it counts 😁😁😁

love ya!

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