Thinking About Middle Aged Gay Love Is Like. We Have A Future And We Have Time

My mistress is a bumbling idiot. She’s been seeing a suitor who intends to buy her hand in marriage from her father, but she’s told me quite clearly that she doesn’t think this man is right. As her devoted maid, I cannot let her be wed off to some scoundrel like him. But all my efforts to save her from him have been foiled by her clumsiness. When I brought the tray to them with the poisoned teacup closer to him, in a breach of etiquette she reached for the far teacup and took the poison for herself. When I poisoned his wine, her ring got caught on the tablecloth and knocked over his glass. When I set up the armoire to fall and crush him, she tripped on the rug and made it go off too early. Once I even rigged one of the chandeliers to fall on his spot, and right before it did she violated table manners, got up, grabbed his wrist, and dragged him to the window because she “thought she saw a stag outside.” A stag?! There weren’t even any woods visible from that window! And after all these foiled attempts she has the audacity to complain to me that marrying this man will ruin her life. As if seeing her with any man wouldn’t ruin mine!

Adobe is going to spy on your projects. This is insane.

hello transgender woman on reddit. before you is a transfem who is pre-everything asking about how to get a close shave on facial hair. if you reply "just get laser hair removal" a bomb will go off killing you instantly

ppl who celebrate fictional character birthdays are annoying pass it on

I've tried and tried but i just don't think i will ever understand these people

queer people on this site really make me feel like a confused straight guy at pride. the discourse here could kill a man

apple breaks up fight between two magnets

literally my favorite type of tweet