A MORAL OBLIGATION!

pretty sure water is gay. straight people can't swim they have to walk along the bottom of the ocean in a void.

Imagine going to take a shower and the water just dodges you, and not being able to tell whether you are hydrophobic or if the water has become homophobic.

Time machine built into tumblr?

dash is dead im teleporting to the past

https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard?max_post_id=606474489540042752

Declare a thumb war then in the middle of teh thumbwar pull them in and KISS THEM

I reblog ONE transformers thing as a joke and suddenly half my feed is shipping Transformers characters together WHY IS TUMBLR LIKE THIS

the sudden urge to put on mouse ears and a maid outfit so you can go around making mouse based puns while cleaning the house

"Mouse-keeping!" "Cheesed to meet you! Have I seen you before?" "This one's on the mouse!" "I'll leave it squeaky clean!" "Mice to see you!"

I'll be adding more as I think of them, I'm hoping to create an encyclopedia of mouse puns.

a ukulele and a revolver with one bullet in it played with a massive grin.

Is there like a cure for constantly being horny?

It's been -78 days since the last day i didn't randomly think about gay sex and that's only if you count the day i realized i didn't think about gay sex which is still technically thinking about gay sex. If you don't I have no clue what it's like to not have your thoughts filled with AGGRESSIVE GAYNESS.

I found rusty paperclip on the college campus yesterday. I picked it up because it reminded me of myself.

everywhere i go everyone compliments me on the particle cannons i attached to my body. they say things like "those look effective against armored targets, and also very precise" and then i blush cutely and obliterate a scrap car