I Don't Know If My Pantheon Is Actually The One I Work With In This Life, Or Perhaps It's Just This Life's

I don't know if my Pantheon is actually the one I work with in this life, or perhaps it's just this life's equivalent. But my connection feels the same way it did back then, in whatever time/universe it had occurred in. The same thing goes for my original God and It's regime.

Everything had to be oh so painfully perfect- everything was created with a Purpose and an Appearance and one Did Not Stray from that. Even if you were different upon creation, and had not the intelligence nor intention to be as such, it was You who had Strayed from your purpose. And so it would be You who would be at fault.

I don't know how nor why I was different. I don't know why having golden eyes was so abhorrent that I had to wear a viel at all times- everyone (including myself) forbidden from gazing upon them. I was handicapped for Its mistake. For having something It couldn't control. I was alienated and shunned and had no true purpose to fulfill, which meant I was left to rot away while my peers and my Creator ignored my very existence.

And then I met someone. I cannot remember their face, nor their name, but I remember their hands- the strange feeling of their callouses, which none of my peers had. I don't remember what it sounded like, specifically, but I remember their voice- their tone belonging to one who'd not seen someone like me so close to their home. Not angry, not scared.. Kind. And... I'd say possibly curious/amused.

I remember falling in love with the forest- with the dirt and the plants and moss under my feet. With food, and beds, and fire. Oh, the fire... How perfectly imperfect it was- something that could burn and turn to ash, but also keep you warm and cook your meat. I'd never seen fire before- not in this way. Everything had its role to play, but it was messy and imperfect and happened in ways that could be harnessed- but never controlled. I fell in love with this world we were forbidden from exploring- in this world we knew nothing about.

I remember the veil barely let me see anything. In my mind, I could see my 'home' and my peers and my Creator- it was inherent knowledge etched into deep my being. So deep, if all of my senses had failed, I wouldn't notice. But only in that place.

I remember, after many visits, finally letting them lift it from my face. I didn't let them take it off- I couldn't bear the thought at the time- but I let them lift it. I remember seeing everything, seeing Them. They were so perfect. So different from my peers and unlike anything I had ever known, it was overwhelming. That moment was The Moment, I believe. The moment I was destined to leave my arrogant God, and join the Pantheon that felt like home.

I wonder who they were, the one who gave me my sight... I wonder if they've died and reborn just as I have- reforming and living under new names across time and space. I wonder if they're here now, a human like I am. I wonder if they remember the angel hiding golden eyes, who became the hearth tender of their Pantheon.

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