Women In Shakespeare

I can understand how "modern person thrown into the past gets by pretending to be a healer/doctor" is as surprisingly common of a trope as it is. I mean I'm fluent enough at bullshitting to be pretty sure I could pull it off to impersonate a doctor in any time pre-1800s. If I have no idea what something is or how to treat it, I could just get the opinion of the other whatever-passes-as-medical-professionals around, but if their suggestions sound like bullshit I'm not doing it. And I'll beat the shit out of anyone suggesting bloodletting or mercury. With my healing stick. I've tied little bells on it, that jingle comically with every smack.

The awesome curative powers of my healing stick come from two separate sources: Placebo, and me using it to beat anyone trying to give my patients mercury.

Sick Days

It was bound to happen at some point. Traveling through rain, heat, and snow was going to lead to you getting sick. It started off small. You woke up to your arms and legs aching, but you brushed it off. You spend your time walking from place to place, if you felt a bit sore that was expected. Then your head started to hurt. A dull ache behind your eyes. Maybe you weren’t drinking enough water. It had been a while since you had a break. For every little thing there was a reasonable explanation.

It wasn’t until you woke up gasping for air that you were finally willing to admit that you were sick. Nose stuffed to the brim, clothes drenched in sweat, and forehead hot to the touch you couldn’t remember ever being so sick.

When you don’t get up early that morning, DO / Wukong knows that something is wrong. If you hadn't already woken up before him, then it wouldn’t be long before you were up. Looking over at your flushed face, his brows furrowed in worry. When he pokes and prods you and doesn’t receive much of a reaction except for a grunt, his tail flicks in worry.

Destined One

[-]  He can instantly tell that you're sick.  And while outwardly he doesn’t seem bothered, the way his tail flicks around and his raised shoulders were enough of a sign to tell he was worried.

[-]  Feels completely out of his depth about what to do. Sure he helped take care of the younger monkeys back home, but didn’t know if that could be used on humans. The last thing he wanted to do was make you feel worse.

[-] You’ll have to guide him for a bit. Tell him what you need and he’s on it. With the same focus he has when fighting, he’s going to do everything to make sure you get better.

[-]  Is the sun too bright and making your headache worse? Be prepared to be carried somewhere with shade and be handed water. 

[-] Not able to stomach anything. He’s going to make the blandest most flavorless soup imaginable just so that you can eat something.

[-] Doesn’t want to leave you side if possible, but he knows that he needs to get you medicine. And as the day progresses and you don’t seem to be getting better, he starts to get more nervous.

[-] Ultimately both of you choose to go to the Zodiac Village. Maybe they’ll have something to help you get better. 

[-] And if while you're bundled up, tea cup in hand, you notice DO take note of what herbs and plants can be used for medicine for later, then you’re willing to pretend you didn’t notice.

[-]  Everytime you take a nap, exhausted from being sick, DO hovers by your side. He’s there ready to get anything you need when you wake up.

[-]  By the end of the night, feeling much better your head rests comfortably on DO lap. He gently runs his hands through your hair, easing your headache. And if, when you wake up tomorrow morning you notice DO with a runny nose and cough, then it only makes sense for you to return the favor.

Sun Wukong

[-] You're taken aback by how effortlessly he assumes the role of caretaker. And when you tease him about it in between coughing fits, he’s quick to remind you that he did look after the many cubs that lived in Mount Huaguo. 

[-] Brings you fresh washcloth to put on your forehead, he’ll even go so far as to help you bathe if you let him. And with how gross you feel, you’re willing to take him up on that.

[-]  He’s gentle with the way he washes your hair, makes sure the water is nice and warm to help you breathe better.

[-]  Grabs the most comfortable clothes he owns and makes you wear it. He can’t have you wearing your dirty clothes, and if a blush covers his face when he sees you wearing his clothes, then well that’s just the sickness making you see things.

[-] Won’t leave your side no matter what. He’s sticking by you until you get better. And in the off chance that he does need to leave, Wukong makes sure to have a clone looking after you.

[-]  Brings you fresh fruit for you to eat. Cuts it up into small pieces and hand feeds it to you. In his words, “A sick mortal like you should feel proud to have a king at your beck and call”.

[-]  If you have to move around, he’s going to carry you. Won’t let you do anything even when you insist you can.

[-]  When you’re not looking or taking a nap, you don’t notice how his brows furrow in worry. Maybe he should go and steal one of those immortal peaches or pills from the Celestial Court. He won’t do it now, but it’s something he’s going to be thinking about once you get better.

[-] And when the day is finally over, feeling rested and better, you comfortably lay your head on Wukong’s chest. The rise and fall of his breathing lulls you to sleep.

no. but it is good

so soft it hurts

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

Series of “I’m Robin and being Robin gives me magic!”

DC Super-Heroes by Emmanuel Gervasoni.

Apparently a lot of people get dialogue punctuation wrong despite having an otherwise solid grasp of grammar, possibly because they’re used to writing essays rather than prose. I don’t wanna be the asshole who complains about writing errors and then doesn’t offer to help, so here are the basics summarized as simply as I could manage on my phone (“dialogue tag” just refers to phrases like “he said,” “she whispered,” “they asked”):

“For most dialogue, use a comma after the sentence and don’t capitalize the next word after the quotation mark,” she said.

“But what if you’re using a question mark rather than a period?” they asked.

“When using a dialogue tag, you never capitalize the word after the quotation mark unless it’s a proper noun!” she snapped.

“When breaking up a single sentence with a dialogue tag,” she said, “use commas.”

“This is a single sentence,” she said. “Now, this is a second stand-alone sentence, so there’s no comma after ‘she said.’”

“There’s no dialogue tag after this sentence, so end it with a period rather than a comma.” She frowned, suddenly concerned that the entire post was as unasked for as it was sanctimonious.

The brothers