Lately I've Been Thinking About How Language Can Sometimes Be A Curse - From The Words We Speak, Even

So yesterday I was watching this video whereby this content creator was speaking about how we should stop bringing the energy of decisions into making choices. She spoke about how people can't even make a simple choice because they are so focused the importance of it because their mind focuses on whether they are making the right or wrong decision. ❌✅

She gave an example of how you can make a choice to attend an event but after experiencing it you then make the decision to leave cause maybe it was boring.

So in order to decide, first make a choice, have the experience and make a decision.

So google says when making a choice we are given the freedom to explore alternatives and choose what will make us happy whereas when making a decision, we are presented with options whose outcomes have been predetermined. Choice connects us to our desired intentions, values and beliefs whereas decisions are connected to places of behaviour, performances and consequences.

I remember when I was still in primary, during athletics season - we had all these different activities that we could try. So we had a choice in choosing what activities to try but at the end of the day you had to make a decision as to which one you would join.

Obviously you make that decision after having experienced all the activities. So by making the decision, you now already know the predetermined outcome which is you coming to practice high jump or sprints for as long as you're part of the team.👟🎽

So with choices it's more experimental and with decisions it gets serious. So the point is stop bring that serious energy into something that's supposed to be a fun experience. Think of making a choice as tasting and making a decision as eating. 🍽️😋🍔

Jeff Foster says : "In reality, your world is set up so that nothing happens to you, but everything happens for you - for your awakening, for your growth, for your inspiration, for your exploration - even if you forget that, or sometimes cannot see it, or sometimes fall into distraction and despair.

When there is no fixed destination, you cannot ever lose your destination, so you cannot ever lose your path, so nothing that happens in your life can take you off your path. Your path IS what happens, and what happens IS your path. There is no other.

Everything is a gift on this unbreakable path that you call your life - the laughter, the tears, the times of great sorrow, the experiences of profound loss, the pain, the confusion, the times you believe you'll never make it, even the overwhelming heartbreak of love - even if you forget that sometimes, or cannot see that sometimes, or lose faith absolutely in the entire show sometimes.

But even the loss of faith in the show is part of the show, and even the scene where 'something goes wrong' is not indicative of the show going wrong, and so you are always exactly where you need to be, believe it or not, even if you are not.

Life can be trusted absolutely, even when trust seems a million light-years away, and life cannot go wrong, for all is life, and life is all. Understand this, know it in your heart, and spirituality is profoundly simple, as simple as breathing, as natural as gazing up at the stars at night and falling into silent wonder. The universe is more beautiful than you could ever imagine."

People are not against you, they are for themselves.

Sometimes we feel like certain people always think or want the worst for us and we couldn't be more wrong. Every person you know or have come across has a different version of you in their head and based on that, it makes perfect sense that they are going to project onto you the things they assume about you. The same way you project onto people the illusion you have of them in your head.

So the point is don't take it personally. Deep down people don't even know you unless they have actually taken the time to really get to know you and those aren't a lot of people.

The best thing you can do is be true to yourself - be true to your values, your interests, dreams and the kind of person you want to be. Because you cannot please both others and yourself. One side is bound to get betrayed and that's okay.

So let go of trying to make other people understand because they might not even be interested in understanding you. They are still fixated on the version of you they curated in their heads. And they are probably not ready to understand you. Maybe one day they will but in the meantime focus on the vision that is you!

And with that, the year 2024 has begun. Happy New Year to you all. 🎊🎊

With the new year comes the buzz about new year resolutions. What goals, intentions or habits are you setting for yourself this year?

My main intentions for this year are:

Following my joy🪇

Being rooted in the present moment 🌴

And showing up more authentically 🐦

And as someone who focuses more on the process rather the the goal, the habits/systems I'm implementing include:

Creating bi weekly content📝📋

Taking daily evening walks 👣🚶‍♀

Listening to self development podcasts 🔊

Remember, when it comes to goal/intention setting, it's more than just what you want to achieve but who you want to be and who you want to show up as. And that is reflected by your daily habits/actions.

_You can do this!! So what's one simple habit are you choosing to focus on?🦋

As humans we are born with so much potential and then somewhere along the way society clips off our wings and still has the audacity to ask why we can't fly? 🧚‍♀️

Just read a story of how this one guy stopped writing because his high school teacher had told him that he'd never make it as a writer. Now he's become the best selling author of two books. 📖📕

We owe it to ourselves to go after the dreams other people think we couldn't achieve. Because how will you know if you don't try?🧩

Like Paulo Coelho said: "it's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting" 🎗️🏵️

Someone said that being depressed is your avatar telling you that it is tired of the character that you want it to play. And in my experience this was true. ☘️🏵️

Deep down I knew that the path I was heading on was no longer for me yet I kept on pushing. Why?

Because that was the path that society deemed acceptable, that was the path that felt safe & comfortable (until it was no longer comfortable), because that was the path that made the most logical sense and because that was the path where no one would judge me for doing the "wrong" thing. ❌

But the more I kept on pushing, the more I felt into this hole of emptiness. Until I came to the realisation that something was wrong and something had to change. 🙍‍♀️

As I was going through that phase of depression, I wasn't exactly sure as to what I was doing wrong but I just knew I had to stop and take a break from everything. 🔔🔔

Looking back in retrospect, I can see how I was trying so hard to hide parts of myself to fit in with others and that came at a painful cost. The sooner you remove the mask, the more relieved you'll feel. You may end up fighting with your family or losing people you knew as your closest friends but in the long run, you get to show up as who you are rather than who you think you should be. 🥳🤗🌸

Ruts. Also known as one of those phases in life where you are just existing and not really living. Where you are just going through the exact same cycle day by day just to keep yourself alive. 😕

Where you have no idea what's next or don't know what you are working towards. The phase where it gets to the point where it feels like you're just being dragged by life.🫥😵😵‍💫

That's when you know you need some clarity. 💯

And sometimes clarity requires stillness. So slow down if you will.

Other times clarity requires silence and solitude. Take time away from external stimuli because you can't hear yourself if you always surrounded by outside noise. 📢📢

And as you start to slow down and be still eventually the answers will come.

Maybe in the form of a burst of inspiration. Or coming across that one thing you used to enjoy but left halfway cause you never had the time for it. Or maybe through meeting rekindling an old friendship. 🫂🫶🏼

Anyway.... you never really know what that one choice can bring you as long as it's bringing you closer to your true self.🌸💫

So at the beginning of this month I had set a one word intention for the month which was growth.📈🌷

And so during the first week of this month, I took easy but at the same time I was consistent with my morning exercises and watching the required lecture videos (for each day) for the course I'm currently taking and also reading the books for this month - which I mentioned in my previous post.📚📖

Then come the second week, my dad sent me an email on this opportunity to help recent graduates learn about entrepreneurship and how later on you can present your idea and they could help you with funding if it's feasible, realistic etc.

And my first thought was "Nah, this is not for me. I'm so done with anything that has to do with university ( since that had to do with my burnout and all)."

"And also I've never really been good at stuff like this, so why even bother try." So I ignored it.

That week I also managed to finish the level 1 part of the course which is just content.📖 And for some reason I couldn't move on to level 2 - which requires interviewing people and having a practice session with them.👥

And so for the rest of that week I relaxed a bit telling myself I've done enough and this looked like bingeing on kdramas and just binge-reading a series of books (fiction) to pass time. Anything to avoid the work I was actually supposed to be doing.

And so come the third week, stuff just started happening. Like yes I had been focusing my attention and energy on stuff that had absolutely nothing to do with my intention or my goals but the amount of anxiety and overthinking that I started experiencing was insane. Like all these negative, fearful thoughts and self doubt was showing up. Like I haven't experienced that level of anxiety in a very long time. So let's just say that experience was awful. 😫😖😣

And so my plan was to get rid of it as soon as possible. So I did a bit of exercise just to ground myself and it wasn't very helpful. 🧘🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀

So I pulled my big girl pants on and sat with myself and those "ugly" feelings that were showing up and in that moment I was just asking for clarity. And so I slept hoping I could sleep it off.

Come next morning, those weren't that intense but they were still there. And sometime during the day I came across a post about limiting beliefs. And so I decided to do some journaling on the underlying and hidden beliefs underneath the behaviours I was portraying. And it's safe to say all that anxiety was my body's way of protecting me from pain. What pain you might ask? The discomfort of having to take actions that I normally just don't take - that could enable my growth. So these actions included starting level 2 of my course i.e. starting these practice sessions as I've never really been confident in my presentation skills. And also taking a chance on that entrepreneurial opportunity to enable my growth.

And so I came to find out the limiting beliefs around that were I did not believe that I was good enough to be wellness coach. I did not believe that I was capable of actually making a difference in the world. I was also very scared of failing.🙈😣

So that was the pain I was avoiding. The pain of having to face my fear of failure, fear of being judged or criticized.😬

So that's what I'm currently working on. And in order for me to prove that belief wrong I am going to have to take action as evidence that maybe I am good enough. That I can actually make a difference in the world. That I am capable of doing "hard" things.

And in order to do that I'm gonna need people I can practice sessions on. So if you've read till this point and you're wanting to make some changes in your life and you're willing and able to spare me an hour of your time per week. Please dm me to let me know.😊

Lately I've been wondering about what to work towards for 2025 and I came to the realisation that we are always doing this - working towards a future goal to attain something, to have more or to be a better version of ourselves.

And i started asking myself - "does it ever end?"

When does all this striving eventually stop. When do we finally come to a point where we decide that enough is enough. Does it not get tiring, always living for a future outcome. Are we ever going to be content with what we have?

Yes, the world is changing and yes we have to prepare ourselves but to what point?

Because if we are going to be honest with ourselves, it's no longer about happiness. We've just gotten to a point where it's about feeding our emptiness because all that striving is surely not going to make us happy because we would've already been happy by now.

But also this concept we call happiness doesn't seem to last forever, so how about we choose to be content. And im sure happiness will come find us every once in a while.