Something I Heard This Week:

It's okay to start again because this time you are starting from experience. there is nothing wrong with starting over in order to build stronger foundations.

Today I gained a new perspective on people- pleasing behaviour. I learnt how the reason we people please is to avoid pain, and that may be through confrontation. So in order to avoid that pain or the pain of disappointing the other person, we people- please. To keep the peace. But at what cost?😑

So one way to deal with this is to accept the discomfort that comes with that confrontation or disappointment.🙁🥺

Become when you engage in people pleasing behaviour. You are not benefit anyone. Not even the other person/people. By choosing to "protect" them from the pain, you are hindering their growth as a person. You are getting in the way of their own healing. And as a result you are also not hindering your own growth by holding onto other people's baggage when you have your own to focus on. 🦋🌸

So rather than being afraid to disappoint them. Be with them through that process of pain. Cause that's the only thing that can help them better than trying to please them.🤍🌱

And with that, the year 2024 has begun. Happy New Year to you all. 🎊🎊

With the new year comes the buzz about new year resolutions. What goals, intentions or habits are you setting for yourself this year?

My main intentions for this year are:

Following my joy🪇

Being rooted in the present moment 🌴

And showing up more authentically 🐦

And as someone who focuses more on the process rather the the goal, the habits/systems I'm implementing include:

Creating bi weekly content📝📋

Taking daily evening walks 👣🚶‍♀

Listening to self development podcasts 🔊

Remember, when it comes to goal/intention setting, it's more than just what you want to achieve but who you want to be and who you want to show up as. And that is reflected by your daily habits/actions.

_You can do this!! So what's one simple habit are you choosing to focus on?🦋

People are not against you, they are for themselves.

Sometimes we feel like certain people always think or want the worst for us and we couldn't be more wrong. Every person you know or have come across has a different version of you in their head and based on that, it makes perfect sense that they are going to project onto you the things they assume about you. The same way you project onto people the illusion you have of them in your head.

So the point is don't take it personally. Deep down people don't even know you unless they have actually taken the time to really get to know you and those aren't a lot of people.

The best thing you can do is be true to yourself - be true to your values, your interests, dreams and the kind of person you want to be. Because you cannot please both others and yourself. One side is bound to get betrayed and that's okay.

So let go of trying to make other people understand because they might not even be interested in understanding you. They are still fixated on the version of you they curated in their heads. And they are probably not ready to understand you. Maybe one day they will but in the meantime focus on the vision that is you!

Advice I got this week:

_Stop complaining about results you didn't get, for work you didn't put in._ 📝

Resilience

Resilience looks like trying again and again regardless of the outcome you're currently getting.

Resilience is choosing to ignore the naysayers and staying focused on your vision until it comes to life.

Resilience is getting up early and showing up for your dream even if you don't feel like it.

Resilience is doing that uncomfortable thing over and over until it becomes second nature.

Resilience is facing fear over and over until you become the best of friends.

Resilience is making the choice to consistently transforming your mind from a negative mindset to a better state of mind.

Resilience is giving your utmost best even though you are at your lowest point.

Resilience is constantly reminding yourself of why you started to begin with.

Resilience is choosing to show up for your future self.

It is choosing to see the starts in the darkest of nights.

Resilience is knowing the importance of the goal but focusing on the process instead.

Yesterday was a public holiday - Worker's day to be exact. So this holiday happened to fall on a Thursday and my sister was complaining about how it was such a bummer that the public holiday fell in the middle of the week instead of it being on a Monday or Friday.

So this just had me thinking on how we as people are always quick to complain even if we receive blessings in our lives.

Sometimes we don't even notice those blessings because they weren't to our expectations or that they weren't good enough for us. So just something I was pondering that just by changing your perspective on something, you can change how you experience life.

Life is sweeter when it is filled with moments of gratitude.

What does the process to an outcome normally look like? If I look back on my past experienc

es, on things that I managed to achieve, there was an element of curiosity and fun to it.

Until the novelty wore off and things go hard. And during those moments that's when you ask yourself why you started to begin with? What would happen if you don't give up? And what kind of character are you choosing to portray in this part of your story?📖📖

Like if you look at your favourite show, the ending wouldn't be that satisfying without the ups and downs that the characters face. And sometimes the show is so good you don't want it to end.

Of course, there are times when you decide to take a break to rest and re-centre yourself. And there are times when you choose to give it all up because it's no longer aligned with the goal you had in mind. But it's all about taking note of your patterns when you are in that "hard/difficult" phase.

Do you start procrastinating. Do you move on to a new project or do you choose to forget about the task all together?

Normally this is where your character is being tested.

So if you need to go on your knees and ask God for strength, do so. If you need to cry it out and call friend do so. If you need to watch a motivational video - do what you need to in order to move forward and keep the momentum.

Because it's in that phase that growth happens because now you are surpassing your limits. You are getting that character development which takes you to the next level.❇️💯

So fall in love with that process because that's the most beautiful and impactful part of the journey. Make sure you're having fun even in the midst of difficulties cause at some point,it's gonna have to end and the ending has to be just as beautiful. It's the messy middle that we need to learn how to master so that we reach the beautiful ending. 🪷🪷

Recently, I've been spending a lot time in nature. It begins with me just sitting there feeling the grass with the soles of my feet to observing the swaying of tree leaves caused by the wind. And the longer I just sit there and observe, the more I feel at peace. And the more I feel at home. 🏠🛖🪹

And everytime I feel like that, the more I want to experience more and more of that feeling. Which had me thinking about the different things and experiences I can bring and cultivate into my life to bring more of that. It doesn't have to be anything big, it could be something as simple as bird watching🦅 or listening to that favourite song that feels like a hug. 🤗

Because at the end of the day we all want to feel at home, regardless of whether we are at home or not. Because truth be told for some a home maybe their art🎨, a person, a book📖, the feel of the wind while riding a bike etc. _So if you can, try to make time to cultivate that feeling - because it's really one of those things that matter in life._ 🏵️☘️