The Future

Isn't it weird how at times we always wishing things were different. Like having a different job, being in a relationship with someone or living somewhere different. Ye when we look back there was once a time when we prayed to have what we have today. 🤲

At times we always wishing how nice it would be to have what that other person has. Not that it's a bad thing. But we never take the time to think what took them to get there or have that. We never take the time to think about about the pain or struggle that the other person had to endure to reach that outcome. What hard times they faced to finally get to the top of that mountain.🗻⛰️

So if you're going through a rough terrain right now, embrace that struggle because there's a lesson there. And eventually we'll reach the outcome we want.💯🤍

What does peace feel like?

- Peace feels like spending hours and hours just gazing at the clouds passing by.

- Peace feels like that warm heat that permeates your clothes while you are enjoying the sunshine

- Peace feels like being held and supported by Mother Earth while you're tending to your garden plants.

- Peace feels like being in your flow while you're writing that funny but beautiful poem

- Peace feels like being full of nostalgia while reminiscing about your past friendships and adventures

- Peace feels like that right sour taste of grapefruit going down your throat

- Peace feels like watching birds painting themselves on a blank canvas that is the sky

- Peace feels like being in a quiet house whilst listening to the dogs barking outside

- Peace feels like going to bed late on a Friday night knowing there's no need to wake up early tomorrow

- Peace feels like being happy at any moment because all your needs are met

- Peace feels like home

Today I was saying out my desire to the ether and I realised how uncomfortable I am in vocalising my desires out loud. It felt so uncomfortable in my body - in my chest and throat I could just feel this restriction of not being able to my desires out loud.

It just made me feel sad for my younger self for never feeling free and safe enough to voice out my desires and opinions. But now that I am aware of this I can now choose to be the version of my self that creates that safety and freedom for me. It's safe for me to vocalise my desires with ease.

So yesterday I was watching this video whereby this content creator was speaking about how we should stop bringing the energy of decisions into making choices. She spoke about how people can't even make a simple choice because they are so focused the importance of it because their mind focuses on whether they are making the right or wrong decision. ❌✅

She gave an example of how you can make a choice to attend an event but after experiencing it you then make the decision to leave cause maybe it was boring.

So in order to decide, first make a choice, have the experience and make a decision.

So google says when making a choice we are given the freedom to explore alternatives and choose what will make us happy whereas when making a decision, we are presented with options whose outcomes have been predetermined. Choice connects us to our desired intentions, values and beliefs whereas decisions are connected to places of behaviour, performances and consequences.

I remember when I was still in primary, during athletics season - we had all these different activities that we could try. So we had a choice in choosing what activities to try but at the end of the day you had to make a decision as to which one you would join.

Obviously you make that decision after having experienced all the activities. So by making the decision, you now already know the predetermined outcome which is you coming to practice high jump or sprints for as long as you're part of the team.👟🎽

So with choices it's more experimental and with decisions it gets serious. So the point is stop bring that serious energy into something that's supposed to be a fun experience. Think of making a choice as tasting and making a decision as eating. 🍽️😋🍔

Ruts. Also known as one of those phases in life where you are just existing and not really living. Where you are just going through the exact same cycle day by day just to keep yourself alive. 😕

Where you have no idea what's next or don't know what you are working towards. The phase where it gets to the point where it feels like you're just being dragged by life.🫥😵😵‍💫

That's when you know you need some clarity. 💯

And sometimes clarity requires stillness. So slow down if you will.

Other times clarity requires silence and solitude. Take time away from external stimuli because you can't hear yourself if you always surrounded by outside noise. 📢📢

And as you start to slow down and be still eventually the answers will come.

Maybe in the form of a burst of inspiration. Or coming across that one thing you used to enjoy but left halfway cause you never had the time for it. Or maybe through meeting rekindling an old friendship. 🫂🫶🏼

Anyway.... you never really know what that one choice can bring you as long as it's bringing you closer to your true self.🌸💫

What does shame feel like?

Shame feels like hiding

Shame feels like not wanting to be seen, heard or understood for fear of being judged

Shame feels like wanting to hide in a hole where no one will find you

Shame feels like preferring to be invisible

Shame feels like not belonging

Shame feels like wanting to run away and to never be found

Shame feels like being disgusted by yourself

Shame feels like wanting to be someone else

It feels like you're not as worthy as everyone else

Shame feels like wanting to deny a part of your identity

One thing I've been insecure about for most of my life is my tummy. My fat tummy. Cause that's what it is - fat.

Most of the time, I suck it in to the point where people even compliment me on my "flat" stomach and in my head I'll be like "if only you knew"

Anyway, today I took a visit to the doctor and I was seated in the reception area, across from me sat a girl around me age wearing a crop top. That crop top was revealing her stomach. Her fat stomach but she wasn't even bothered at all. For her, it was completely normal.

And because of that experience I've began to fully accept this part of me. The stomach I don't see as nice. I've decided to accept my stomach for what it is.

I've decided to appreciate my stomach for all the digesting and detoxing that it has done for me.

I'm slowly learning to love my stomach by looking in the mirror and hugging it and also speaking positive affirmations and being grateful that I am healthy because of it.

Jeff Foster says : "In reality, your world is set up so that nothing happens to you, but everything happens for you - for your awakening, for your growth, for your inspiration, for your exploration - even if you forget that, or sometimes cannot see it, or sometimes fall into distraction and despair.

When there is no fixed destination, you cannot ever lose your destination, so you cannot ever lose your path, so nothing that happens in your life can take you off your path. Your path IS what happens, and what happens IS your path. There is no other.

Everything is a gift on this unbreakable path that you call your life - the laughter, the tears, the times of great sorrow, the experiences of profound loss, the pain, the confusion, the times you believe you'll never make it, even the overwhelming heartbreak of love - even if you forget that sometimes, or cannot see that sometimes, or lose faith absolutely in the entire show sometimes.

But even the loss of faith in the show is part of the show, and even the scene where 'something goes wrong' is not indicative of the show going wrong, and so you are always exactly where you need to be, believe it or not, even if you are not.

Life can be trusted absolutely, even when trust seems a million light-years away, and life cannot go wrong, for all is life, and life is all. Understand this, know it in your heart, and spirituality is profoundly simple, as simple as breathing, as natural as gazing up at the stars at night and falling into silent wonder. The universe is more beautiful than you could ever imagine."

What is it like to experience freedom?

- Freedom is like watching a crow fly overhead with its wings open wide

It's like being underwater and soaking in all that watery silence

Freedom is like being immersed in a good book in a good book that you've forgotten about your existence.

Freedoms is like being so in flow in your craft or skill that you've forgotten you're alive.

Freedom feels like being relieved off a heavy task that you've been avoiding for quite some time.

Freedom is like a flower finally blooming after weeks of hibernation

It's like hitting that high note of a song

Freedom feels like releasing that scream that you've been suppressing the whole day

Freedom is being awed by the beauty of nature

Freedom is letting go off a situation you've been grasping for dear life

Freedom feels like taking that last exhale before dozing off

Freedom is finally removing off that mask that you've been wearing all day just to please everyone

Freedom feels like dancing and letting loose

Freedom is peace of mind

You can't out-think fear you can only out-act it. One step at a time, one fear at a time and eventually, that situation will no longer scare you. And through that action you build the confidence of being able to face whatever fear that might show up.