Ever Been In One Of Those Situations Where Everyone Around You Knows Their Dream Or Passion Or What They

It's my 2 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

It's been a minute. So last week was my 24th birthday and I was doing some reflecting and I thought to share three lessons I've come to learn during the past year:

Lesson 1: Having a someone to talk to.

I have come to realise how it is so important to have someone to communicate with especially when you are going through a difficult time. This could be a friend, relative, mentor. Like just someone you can trust. Yes they may be able to offer you a listening ear which may lighten your burden but they can also help you shift your perspective on how you might be viewing a particular situation. Together you might be able to come up with different solutions to dealing with the situation in a way that doesn't feel overwhelming.

Doing this not only helps you through the tough times but it also helps deepen the relationship you have with that person.

Sometimes people do want to help and you might not know how they feel but you deciding to tell them also means you trust them. And there is no better feeling that being trusted by someone.

Lesson 2: Letting people go with honesty

There are times in your friendships where things are just stagnant and you're only keeping in touch because you once attended the same school or university together. Or maybe one of you moved to a different area and you no longer meet as frequently and as time goes on the communication and connection fizzles out. You know you were really great friends but things just aren't the same and in some way you are outgrowing each other.

I've come to realise that in such situations it is better to let that person go. Of course, this is not about ghosting them and hoping they get the message but by also being truthful with them and telling them how you really feel. For me the honest truth was letting them know that friendship has reached it's end, the journey was beautiful and I'll forever cherish the beautiful memories we shared together but stagnancy isn't helping anyone.

This might feel very uncomfortable but it's necessary not only for you but for the other person too. By letting each other go, you are making space for more aligned friendships to come through.

_Something I learnt the past week:_ 🌱

We all experience feelings of inferiority at one point or another. Be it through comparison to others or our ideal self. Of course these feelings aren't a bad thing if you use them to catapult you into being a better person. 💯👌🚀

However when you start identifying with those feelings i.e adopting an inferiority complex, that's when they hinder you from growing cause now you use your flaws as a reason for not being able to grow.

E.g using the feeling of not being educated enough as a sign to learn more in order to grow and be qualified enough to he successful RATHER THAN feeling like you'll never be successful because you are not as educated as everyone around you. Constantly sulking and complaining about it without taking any action on being better.💫🦋

_Book reference: The Courage to be Disliked_

I've made peace with that....

- I've made peace with the fact that people have different perceptions of life and that their projections have nothing to do with me but their own personal struggles.

- I've made peace with the fact that one will not always be compatible with other people because how we do things is just different and you can not please everyone nor are you here to do so.

- I've made peace with the fact that one will not always stay permanent in other people's lives, so while you're still present make it your mission to have the best of memories to look back to.

- I've made peace with the fact that home for some is us is not a place or person but more like a state of flow that we experience when we get in touch with our creative selves.

- I've made peace with the fact that society will always have its own standards that people are supposed to live up to buy whether you follow those standards or not - that does not define your worth.

- I've made peace with the fact that our favourite things or people will always change because that shows we are growing and each level of growth requires us to leave a part of us behind.

- I've made peace with the fact that everyone experiences different seasons of life and that one should stop comparing their winter to someone's summer because our journeys are different and that's a beautiful thing.

- I've made peace with the fact that the dark moments of life aren't there to torment us but are there to teach us something that will enable our growth as human beings.

- I've made peace with all that.

Lately I've been wondering about what to work towards for 2025 and I came to the realisation that we are always doing this - working towards a future goal to attain something, to have more or to be a better version of ourselves.

And i started asking myself - "does it ever end?"

When does all this striving eventually stop. When do we finally come to a point where we decide that enough is enough. Does it not get tiring, always living for a future outcome. Are we ever going to be content with what we have?

Yes, the world is changing and yes we have to prepare ourselves but to what point?

Because if we are going to be honest with ourselves, it's no longer about happiness. We've just gotten to a point where it's about feeding our emptiness because all that striving is surely not going to make us happy because we would've already been happy by now.

But also this concept we call happiness doesn't seem to last forever, so how about we choose to be content. And im sure happiness will come find us every once in a while.

Once upon a time I tried cooking fish a certain way and it didn't come out the way I wanted it to. I first fried it in oil at high heat and it got stuck on the surface of the pan.😩

And my first thought was "well, it was probably because the heat was too much." 🥵🥵

And so the next time I tried frying it, I did it on low heat and still the fish got stuck to the pan and turn into little pieces. And I thought "maybe it's because of the pan I was using." 🍳🥘

So since that was the only type we had, I had to find a different way of cooking fish without it sticking to the bottom of the pan.(Of course I could've just roasted it in the oven but that takes too much time and more electricity)🕑⌛⚡

I wanted the easiest and quickest way possible. And so after going through a dew YouTube videos I came across a video where they the dish by first putting the tomatoes, garlic and onions and then putting the fish on top, that way it doesn't stick and it's easier to turn over. And so that's how I had been cooking fish for that entire time. 😇

Now a few days ago, my dad bought fish again. This fish looked different and so I decided to go back to frying it first and see if it would work and Lo and behold it worked!

It didn't stick to the pan and it was on high heat. No flour coating whatsoever. 🐟🐟

So now I was wondering what was different then and now and maybe it's because of the type of fish. Or the thickness of the skin.

Anyway the point of this story is about creativity. When we hear of people being creative, we sometimes think of artists, singers, actors etc. We never really see ourselves as creative unless we are doing artistic stuff like drawing, writing, painting or whatever. And so I remember reading somewhere about how being creative is in every living being. It's in our nature being creative. 🍥

Doing something a different way makes you a creative. Me deciding to cook that fish dish differently makes me creative. Deciding to take a different route home makes you creative.

Doing something different brings out a different outcome, sometimes something that we would've never imagined. And maybe by doing that you find a way of working that you weren't aware of.

Who would've thought my fish dishes would turn to smithereens. It tasted different, a nice different. Probably because of the texture. Would I intentionally cook it again? No.

But maybe if I was a chef looking to polish my culinary skills I would find a way to incorporate it into another dish where it creates the right flavour based on that texture.👨‍🍳🔪

And so doing something different might lead to new discoveries. So in what ways are you choosing to do things differently?🌱✨🌱

I truly believe that humans are born with confidence and then we lose it somewhere along the way. Through judgements, comparisons, being laughed at, etc. If we look at babies for example, I mean it sure takes a certain amount of confidence and courage to learn to walk among everyone else who can walk. Yet falling doesn't really bother them. They get up and try again and again.👶🏻🙈💫

And so one thing I have learnt when it comes to having confidence in oneself is through self-trust. But how can you trust yourself when you're constantly doubting yourself? 🤯😤🥺

And one way to build self-trust is by keeping the promises you made to yourself. If you told yourself you'll do something then go do it. And by compounding those kept promises, you become confident in yourself cause you know- you'll always show up no matter what. It may be messy, overwhelming, scary but you showed up for yourself. You trusted yourself enough to do something. And that's confidence.✨😃

🍓🍰 —— 🍓🍰

a soft reminder that coping looks different for everybaby.

some of us color. some of us watch shows from our childhood. some of us buy ourselves toys & run our own bubble baths. some of us let someone else do it for us.

some of us don’t regress or age dream at all to cope. some of us hide under the covers & cry. some of us dissociate into childhood. some of us isolate with our stuffies.

coping doesn’t have to be pretty or aesthetic to be valid.

🍓🍰 —— 🍓🍰

You can't out-think fear you can only out-act it. One step at a time, one fear at a time and eventually, that situation will no longer scare you. And through that action you build the confidence of being able to face whatever fear that might show up.