That’s On Period.

Who am I holding for?

I get this question, or a form of it, about five times a week:

Love your blog. Are you holding anyone’s keys right now? How many? Thx!

People are really curious about my personal experiences which I find flattering. The unsatisfactory answer is: Yes! But I have no idea how many.

Different strokes for different folks

Over the years since I first started exploring chastity play I’ve had the chance to be involved and influential in many different keyholding situations. At first it was just with my own boyfriend who introduced it to me. We had all kinds of fun trying different things, experimenting and learning. I swear I bought more cages than shoes that year. We eventually split up but he didn’t get away unscathed. I still hold his keys to this very day. (They’re around here someplace…)

As the word spread (woops, did I share all those juicy details with everyone I know?) people were curious. Pretty soon I had guys texting, emailing and coming to me late at night to ask about it. Within a few years I’d amassed a collection of 27 sets of keys. I was holding 27 different guys in chastity and each one had their own needs, personality and schedule. It was starting to become a full-time job. But despite the time it took, I loved it. I never had the willpower to turn down anyone asking for a keyholder.

That was a golden time. I relished the power but mostly I loved the fact that I had so much influence in these guys’ lives and could push them in the direction that I thought would help them improve the most.

I remember there was a skater boy who would skip class to play computer games. He was a really bright kid and was paying dearly to go to school but he was wasting his and his parents’ money. As soon as he was locked up that ended immediately. I tied his release date to demonstrable improvements in scholastic performance. (I also put a password on his Xbox. Brain chastity.) Within the semester he brought his grades up from a C- to a solid B. The next semester he was getting A’s. He started dating again and when he got engaged I handed his keys over to his new fiancée. Last I saw of him on Facebook he had gotten a job at Adobe as a programmer.

Taking it to the next level

I could go on for hours and hours of the men I locked and how it improved their lives. Eventually, however, it started taking a toll on me. I never charged for my services but it was costing me valuable work and study time. Eventually I took my first job out of college and moved away.

I decided to move my operation online, both to streamline my workload and to reach more victims clients. Within about a year I had roughly 150 men under some form of orgasm supervision.

Eventually I began charging for keyholding. I was already charging for the locks I would send out but I began charging for my time and services as well. It was the only way I could make it worth my time. However, I never felt good about that. I’m not criticizing anyone who charges for online keyholding or “dome” services to make a living. So don’t take it that way. I just found that for me it altered the dynamic. It became more financial at the core instead of something that I was doing with/for/to each of these men.

About the same time I discovered hypnosis and I got sucked in. I began studying for a certification in Clinical Hypnotherapy. I found that I couldn’t juggle it all and decided to pull back on the keyholding. 18 months after it’s creation I sold off the keyholding business. It’s still a prominent name in online keyholding to this day. I kept several of my longest term subjects but otherwise took a break so I could focus on hypnosis and sex therapy full time. (Full time, in this case, refers to the time outside my vanilla job in clinical research.)

Teach a woman to fish

Somewhere along the way I began mentoring women and couples on how to do chastity right. I found teaching to be every bit as exciting and empowering as direct keyholding because at the end of the day, I’m responsible for another unruly penis being caged. But with mentoring, you get to walk away. Caging, training and then releasing the newly subdued male back into the wild is the best of all worlds.

And that’s how this blog (and its predecessor) were born. I’m glad you’re here. I’ve got lots to teach you and plenty more juicy stories to share.

Have something to share?

Questions? Stories? Personal experiences? I’d love to hear it. Feel free to send me an Ask. Unless you tell me otherwise I’ll post it here so others can chime in.

The Chastity Plan

In the beginning of a FLR, when chastity is first introduced, usually, there's no real plan in place. It's all about learning the effects chastity has on him, and she slowly realizes she likes him better that way. Lock times are generally short, as his body is not yet adjusted to nighttime erections, but as the lock times get longer, his body adjusts accordingly.

Locking him up for a few days at a time can be a lot of fun. It's in the first 3 days that he really becomes affectionate, cuddly, attentive, and obedient. Some FLR's may stay here, and just use chastity to remain in this honeymoon type phase. No real chastity plan needs to be thought of.

But eventually, many Dommes discover that letting him out to cum, is actually quite annoying. It can take 1-3 days after allowing him a full release, for him to regain that submissive affection. So naturally, she has to come up with a plan, if she wants to keep him in that state for longer.

In the end, it all boils down to his orgasm. The type of orgasm he has, determines everything. Many Dommes, when starting out, maybe unaware that there are other types of orgasms available. For example, if she wants to give him a release, yet keep him in that submissive state, she can give him a ruined orgasm.

A ruined orgasm is one where he is stimulated carefully, and slowly. She can work him until he is right near the edge, the point of no return, and then with minimal movement, she tips him over the edge. Ceasing all stimulation.

She reads his body language, and with practice, she can recognize every sign she needs to see, to expertly ruin his orgasm. Without stimulation, his cum just oozes out, without spurting, slowly dribbling, and he feels minimal pleasure.

Once she knows about ruined orgasms, she can come up with a real chastity plan. Because now she has a way of letting him have a release, while still keeping him exactly where she wants him.

She can now reserve full releases for special occasions, or when she thinks he deserves one. Maybe one full release per month? Birthdays and Christmas only? She gets to decide, which is the point.

There is yet another kind of orgasm she may not know about. Milking. While ruined orgasms do require the cage to be removed, milking him does not. She can now give him a release without removing the cage. To milk him, she just needs a finger, or a small device, to insert into his ass.

Again, it takes a bit of practice, but she can feel for his prostate, and gently stimulate it until cum oozes out of his cage. This is particular ideal for her, because he gets drained completely, yet he feels no pleasure at all, often even a bit of discomfort, since the prostate is sensitive to pressure.

Milking him can be included in the chastity plan, perhaps even as a punishment, she can cancel his full uncaged released, and milk him instead. Or it can be used as a maintenance release to keep his juices flowing. It's just one more option available to her.

The last option, is the use of a strap-on, inducing a prostate orgasm. This is the option that provides him with the most pleasure. Perhaps reserved as a treat for being good. A prostate orgasm, can be very intense, and extremely pleasurable.

He will have a full release from it, even through his cage. The cage need not be removed. It will cause some sub drop, but not as strong as a full release. This is because of the anal stimulation, and the prostate being involved. He will recover faster, likely within 12 - 24 hours to get back to the desired submissive state.

With all these options available to her, she has a strong tool box for a perfect chastity plan that suits her needs. Armed with this knowledge, and the psychological and physiological effects on him, she will truly be dominating him.

The strap on can also be used, as a way of increasing submission, as long as he doesn't cum. So it's a dual use tool of dominance, and can be used often, if she wishes.

She now has the option, to keep him permanently chaste, with milkings, or allow him ruins and full releases as she sees fit. As the FLR grows, lock up times typically get longer and longer, because the benefits are worth it.

The chastity plan can help her fully step into her confidence and become the Dominant she was always meant to be.

Want to have the FLR of your dreams?

Check out the Practical FLR book series here!

The Importance of Milking Him!

Milking him is one of the best tools a Domme has for controlling how much pleasure her submissive will feel.

Ejaculation feels good, except when milked.

Even with ruined orgasms he will feel a little pleasure. It will be more like a tease, but it will be pleasurable.

Milking him on the other hand, gives him no pleasure, and might even make him feel a little bit of discomfort, while also draining him completely.

It will relieve the pressure, without any side effects, and keep his body producing more for maximum frustration. All without any bit of satisfaction on his end.

Instead, the focus is on her pleasure, and her pleasure is the only pleasure that occurs, so he learns to enjoy giving pleasure rather than receiving it.

It means the only time he will feel pleasure, is when giving it, so he will always be eager to please!

The chastity cage doesn't need to be removed when milking him either, he will make a mess, but he can clean that up easily.

Milking can be reserved as a punishment, if she normally allows him any kind of pleasure, like an erection, or teasing, or even cumming.... milking him instead removes all pleasure, it's a very effective punishment.

Or milking can be his only form of release, for those in a more extreme FLR, where she wants total and complete control of him.

As always, use milking as it works for you.

No FLR is the same, these are just tools to create your own unique FLR the way it suits you and your partner.

Check out the Practical FLR book series...

It’s never gonna happen to you loser. Pleasure, sex, female attention are only for alphas. 

i feel guilty every time i orgasm because i don't think white men deserve the pleasure

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Super facts!

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last day of locktober! take a look back at how the month went:

he was more affectionate

he was more helpful

he was more loving

he listened more

you felt more heard and loved than you've felt in a long time

you've taken control of his (now your) cock and you control your sex life.

you never go to bed unsatisfied anymore.

he's brought you to orgasm more than ever before without even using his cock!

hopefully by now you've even started being the more assertive and dominant partner in the bedroom. sex is primarily about your pleasure. he brings your to orgasm every time.

he takes your strapon or even asks for for it.

he dresses up for you both outside and inside the bedroom.

WHY would you ever go back? keep going. don't unlock him, he'll love you for it.

Dick Caged, Balls Full, Wallet Empty! 🖤🔐

The Only Thing I Want You To Be Emptying Is Your Wallet Darling!

I Want You To Empty Your Wallet To Make Sure That I Look Sexy For All Of The Black Guys Who Get To Fuck Me In Front Of You!

You Empty Your Wallet & They Get To Empty Their Balls Inside Me! 🤴🏾👸🤴🏾

& Maybe When They Are Done Fucking Me, I Might Let You Clean Up The Cum, Loser 😂🔐