Regulus: UGHHHH Your Hair Is Such A Mess, Potter, It Looks Like 20 Birds Chose To Make Their Nests There

Of course the palest motherfucker you’ve ever seen who looks like he’s never once stepped outside is dating the sun

Genuinely one of my favorite things about the maruaders fandom that is widely agreed upon:

Regulus is trans. Everyone assumes Remus is trans because werewolf behavior can look suspiciously similar to having a period. Shenanigans ensue:

*During 1st Year*

Sirius: *discreetly giving Remus chocolate during his time of the month*

Remus, in his head: HOW DOES HE KNOW? HOW DOES HE KNOW I'M A WEREWOLF? HOW DOES HE KNOW CHOCOLATE HELPS? WHY IS HE NOT SAYING ANYTHING? WHAT IS HAPPENING?

*Quidditch Locker Room*

Marlene: FUCK!

Sirius: What's wrong?

Marlene: I started my period and don't have anything on me!

James, who started carrying extras because he's a mom friend: Oh, here you go.

Marlene: *intensely stares at them* Okay if James carries the tampons and Remus is the one who uses them, why the FUCK is Sirius named Pads???

James: I. . .what?

Sirius: Abort Prongs. There's no right answer to this one.

*During a Study Session*

Regulus: Ugh, I'm so jealous of you sometimes Lupin.

Remus "Low Self-Esteem" Lupin: Why?

Reg: It's just that. . .well, if your mood is any indication, your time of the month is so CONSISTENT! Like, every 28 days like clockwork. You've never had 2 in one month or anything!

Remus, in his head: . . .is. . .is Regulus a werewolf too? Is this how Sirius was so accepting?

Remus out loud: You get it TWICE sometimes, how is that even possible?

Reg: I know right, it's so unfair!

Regulus: . . .

Peter: . . .

Regulus: So is there a REASON you've been stalking me or---

Peter: Are you a werewolf?

Reg: The fuck? No? Why---

Peter: KAY THANKS BYE!

*later*

Remus: oh my God Peter I didn't mean ASK HIM

Peter: Well how the fuck else was I supposed to find out?

Everyone start milking the comedy potential, or I'll have to write it myself! This is a threat! There's enough angst in this fandom, we need more pure comedy fics!

everyone’s always talking about how james is such an amazing dad, and yeah, he’s awesome, but can we take a moment to talk about regulus as a parent? i mean, let’s just agree that he’s sooo attentive, and sooo loving, and he always lets their kid hang out with him in the kitchen while he’s cooking or cleaning, just listening to them go off about random stuff like, "daddy, mr. snuggles (aka the stuffed bunny) said he doesn’t like carrots. we had a fight." and regulus will give this exaggerated shocked look and be like, "no way? seriously? you’re telling me?" all wide-eyed and dramatic, and they’ll just go back and forth like that for hours, because their kid’s got the same endless chatter as james

Just, this.

Marauders fandom really just said fuck canon

lily asks the "highly intelligent and mysterious dog of foresight" if there's a chance that James likes her (she's a bit oblivious) and it starts vigorously nodding its head (it's literally just Sirius) (#wingman)

Honestly could be any of the marauders they are having a bad time

Regulus (whispering to Remus): Good job on the test today.

Remus (whispering back): Thanks shorty. Why are we whispering?

Regulus (still whispering): I want Sirius to think we're conspiring against him. Please look at him when you reply.

Remus (looking at Sirius): Messing with my boyfriend? Fun .

Regulus (also looking at Sirius): I'm glad you agree.

Sirius, sweating in fear: What are they talking about?

James, who overheard them but doesn't want to ruin their fun: Stabbing

when I’m in a haunting the narrative competition and my opponent is Tonya from tcoptp

Remus: i love studying and getting good grades

Also Remus when exams roll around:

how do i explain to my parents and relatives that the reason i put effort into my studies and my exams is not to have a bright future and a nice job but because i can't possibly fail remus lupin