Anticlimactic

Just Joking Around

One-Shot request: Hey :) I asked you if you’d do Heath Ledgers joker one-shots and you said yes? So I was wondering if you could do one where he saves your life? Anouncments: Hope you all like it! Word count: 1021 Warning: Violence

Alright, if you survived this, you were moving to Alaska, maybe a different country. You didn’t care where as long as it was somewhere far, far away from Gotham. The only reason you still lived here was because you’ve been here all your life, you even took up a job at a bank so you could stay even though in a city like this that was a job no one would ever want, in fact, today was your third day. You thought that maybe the crime rate would go down next month, the one after, next year for sure. But now here you are, paying the price for your naivety laying on the floor of the bank as masked men with guns threatened to shoot someone if they didn’t get their money. You sighed deeply, this day just couldn’t get any worse.

But of course, the universe heard your thoughts and threw a hissy fit.

All of a sudden you felt yourself being yanked by the back of your shirt and thrown back down on the floor, hard. You yelped in pain and in surprised as your face slammed down on the cold tile, tasting fresh blood in your mouth from a new gash on your lip. You whipped your head around only to find yourself staring down the barrel of a very large gun and started to scoot backwards quickly. He lumbered towards you and grabbed the back of your neck with meaty fingers, tighter than what you thought was necessary, and brought your head to eye-level.

“Open the vault!”

You stared at him, unsure of what to do. Apparently you hesitated too long because he started dragging you over to the large hunk of cold metal that was the bank vaults door and threw you against it with bone crushing force. Your head banged against the door and made your teeth chatter as you looked back to the maniac with a gun.

“Are you deaf? Open the door!” He yelled again, this time raising his gun to point it at you.

A cold pit started to form in your gut, “I can’t,” You stated, which was true. You couldn’t open the vault, you hadn’t been given the code to unlock the door yet, you were still too new to be trusted.

You couldn’t see his face but you assumed it looked beet red, “What? What was that? I didn’t quite here what you just said. Speak a little bit louder for me!” He shoved the gun closer to your face.

Trying to take an almost calm breath you stated again, “I can’t open the door. I just started working here.”

“Oh yeah? Well, ‘newbie’, I think you’re lyin’, trying to be the hero, well, that’s not goin’ to fly here! Now, open the door on the count of five or you’re dead. One.”

The pit in your stomach started growing. Oh god, you thought, he’s actually going to do it, I’m going to die here.

“Two”

You were thinking fast, trying to find a way out of this. Nothing came to mind that wouldn’t get you immediately killed.

“Three!”

Then you saw it, his gun wasn’t held to him by anything. Maybe, just maybe, if you could get that gun you could find a way out of this.

“Four!”

Ahh, what the hell, you thought, I’m about to be shot anyway, might as well try. And lunged for his face.

He was cut off mid number when you smacked the gun to the side and kicked him in the knee. He gasped loudly and loosened the grip on the weapon and you snatched it out of his grip. He recovered quickly though and came at you but you swung the firearm like a bat and clubbed him in the head. It wasn’t pretty or graceful but he fell like a sack of potatoes. You stood up, smirking with satisfaction as you realized something, what about the other gunmen?

As if on cue you hear the distinctive click of a hammer being thrown back. Turning slowly you were met with another black metal barrel, close enough this time to touch your nose. You gulped rather loudly and closed your eyes. No getting out of this one. A thunderous boom went off like canon fire and you flinched, but you didn’t feel anything. Were you already dead? No, that’s not it. You opened your eyes to see the other gunman fall with a growing dot of red over his chest. Hearing noise behind you, you were met by a man with rather green looking hair and red face paint over his mouth like a splash of blood. He held a gun too, but not at you, a little toward your right, where the other man once stood.

He looked at you lazily and licked his lips, “You just can’t find good help these days. They’re always, running off and making decisions for themselves,” Suddenly he shot the man you had clubbed down too, “Really rather annoying if you ask me.”

Staring at him with wide eyes you thought, what is going on? Who is this guy? I should be dead right now.

He licked his lips again, “Ah, you must be confused. You see, I find you… interesting. I’m not just going to let you go off and die when I have plans for you now am I?”

“Pl… plans?”

“Oh yes, big ones. Very big ones. Don’t go skipping town now.” He started walking towards the back room.

There wasn’t a back door, you thought, why is he going there? Just then he grabbed two things out of his jacket pocket. One he threw to you, “Here’s my card, and remember, big plans!”

The other thing he threw into the room. It looked like a cartoonishly big grenade. You flinched as a blast came from the room and smoke billowed out through the doorway. You opened your eyes again only to find that the stranger had disappeared. You looked down at the card and frowned. It wasn’t a business card or anything official like that, it was a playing card.

The Joker, to be exact.

I was wondering...

What would everyone think if I started doing fake text imagines? They seem pretty easy to make. Go ahead and send some in and I’ll see how it works out!

This isn’t art-related, but this is EXTREMELY SERIOUS IF YOU LIVE IN THE US.  The following message is pasted from Reddit user DrDreamtime. I did not write this, but it contains all the most important information you should know. It should be spread as far and wide as possible.

For those that do not know or understand what net neutrality is and would rather see a video instead of a LOT of text, here is a good video by John Oliver on Net Neutrality.

Don’t want to do that? Understandable, it’s a 15 minute video. So heres a simple picture to highlight what things could look like

Please take the time to at least do the first easy step, either of the two options work and take very little time.

If this fails, the possibility of actually having to pay more to access reddit, facebook, and any other website or face massive loading speed increases or even a straight out site-block by your ISP.

Tell him how you feel.

Ajit Pai, FCC Chairman: 1-202-418-1000

Reddit won’t let me post the rest of the FCC contact information, something with the formatting and the automod, I think. You can click here, to go to the FCC’s official contact page.

You need to contact your representatives and senators about Net Neutrality even if they already support it, but especially if they don’t.

Remember that this very thread is only possible because of a free and open internet; kill net neutrality and threads like this might be a thing of the past.

Easy way:

Step 1: Go to BattleForTheNet.com. Step 2: Do what BattleForTheNet.com tells you to do.

-OR-

Text RESIST to 50409 to get help from RESIST Bot. It helps you find your reps, write letters to them, and sends them faxes FOR FREE. Everyone who cares about Net Neutrality should take 5 minutes to write to your representatives, once a week (or a day). Be heard.

The harder, but still very easy way:

Step 1: Find out who your Representative and Senator is/are.

Find your Representative.

Find your Senator.

Local elected officials.

Step 2: Find your Representative and Senator’s contact information.

5calls.org has a decent repository of Representatives and Senators contact information, though the site is a bit difficult to navigate.

Call My Congress just asks for your zip code and tells you what district you live in, who your Representatives are, and how to contact them.

DailyKos has a list of all of our Senator’s phone numbers, not just the DC office. (Current as of February, 2017.)

FaxZero has a system set up allowing you to fax your Representatives and Senators for free! (Faxes are good if you can’t get through on the phone lines, or just if you want congressional staffers to listen to fax machine noises until Net Neutrality is safe.)

Fax Congress

Fax Senators

Step 3: Call, write, or fax to express your feelings on this.

A lot of people are nervous about calling their elected officials for the first time, maybe you don’t know what to say, or how to say it, or even who you’ll be talking to, so here’s what you’ll need to know.

There’s a 75% chance your call will be answered by a Secretary who is specifically there to listen to your concerns, there’s a 25% chance your call will be bumped into a voicemail box which is specifically there to listen to your concerns, there is a ~0% chance you’ll find yourself on the phone with your Senator or Representative.

You may be asked for your name and address or zip code, it’s okay not to tell them if you don’t want to, but the information is useful for your elected officials. I usually just give my first name, zip code, and the name of my town.

Don’t worry about a script, don’t worry about being eloquent, you’re not writing Shakespeare here, you’re a concerned citizen voicing their frustrations, fears, and hopes. “I’m really scared of Ajit Pai’s plans to roll back net neutrality, a free and open internet is important to me because [Your reason here. Some suggestions: An open internet is important to democracy/I worry what Donald Trump might do with more power/Cable bills are already too high/etc.]. Please tell [Senator or Representative] that I support a free and open internet, I support Net Neutrality, and I vote.” The only hard and fast rule is that you need to be polite; these folks are getting dozens, if not hundreds of calls a day, they don’t need you bitching and swearing at them for something they have no control over. Be passionate, but be polite.

Reminder: Only call YOUR OWN elected officials! Calling Mitch McConnell from sunny Florida won’t do anyone any good, and might actually harm the cause. Only call your own elected officials, period.

Source

No

One-Shot: Hi can I have a Teen Wolf one shot when I’m Scott’s sister and Stiles falls in love with me? Announcements: Sorry I haven’t posted in a while… I’ve just been really busy but I hope you all like it! Warnings: None

You changed out your Science books for English and slammed the locker door shut, revealing the puppy dog face of your older brother. Not the werewolf puppy dog kind, but the kind where he puffs out his lower lip and looked at you with round eyes.

You looked at him, “Hello, Scott, what do you want?”

“I love you too,” he replied, “Why do you think I need anything?”

“Scott please, have some faith in me.”

“All right, so here’s the deal, Kira and I have plans for a really nice night, I’m taking her out to that really nice restaurant, y'know, downtown? It took me two weeks to get a reservation, but anyways, then I’m taking her to a movie and I’m paying and anyways, it’s going to be really nice and-”

“Scott, I’m going to be late for class at the rate you’re going. Please, just get to the point.”

He slid himself in front of you and grabbed you lightly by the shoulders, smiling a cheesy smile, “See the thing is that, I have a shift tonight at the clinic and I need you to cover for me.”

You groaned, since you worked with your brother at the clinic and since you were single you had always gotten stuck with taking his shifts whenever he had a date. You didn’t have to take these shifts obviously, but you really couldn’t say no, he always had good excuses.

“Please? You would be the best little sibling in the entire world and I would love you forever.” he said, his eyes growing big.

You stopped walking in front of your english class, other kids pouring in around the two of you, “Ugh, fine. But you have to bring me back left overs when you’re done. Now move.”

He smiled and let you go, “Thank you so much. I promise I’ll make it up to you. Later!”

You huffed and made your way into the classroom without replying.

—-

The air smelled like disinfectant and medical instruments as you wiped down the main examination table and other surfaces in the room. Today had been a very long day for you, seeing you had to do two people’s worth of work non-stop after school along with homework. You threw the dirty paper towel into the garbage and sat down, wiping your forehead and closing your eyes.

You were about to stand up, grab your stuff, and head back home when the front doors burst open, “Scott! Hey Scott, I need to talk to you-”

A young man, a rather cute looking young man, about the same age as your brother rounded the corner, stopping when he saw you.

You recognized him as Scott’s best friend, Styles, “Uh, hey, Scotts not here, do you need me to tell him something?”

He stared at you with wide-eyes, “I, uh, no. I just needed to, uh, you look very familiar, do I know you?”

“Yeah, we go to the same school. I’m just a year under you.”

“Oh,” he paused.

“So did you need me to talk to Scott for you?” you asked.

“Uh, nah, I just needed to talk to him… so you know him?”

You chuckled, “Yeah, I know him.”

“Cool, cool. Um, so I guess I’ll see you around then? At school?”

You looked him in his deep colored eyes, “Yeah, sure. See you around.”

He made an awkward smile and backed out of the doorway. You were about to turn around when he came running back in and tried to nonchalantly lean on the doorway.

“I almost forgot, what’s your name?”

You smiled, “Y/N, what’s yours?” Of course you knew his name though, did he not know you were Scott’s sibling?

“Styles. Uh, yeah, see ya!” and with that, he exited the building again.

You paused for a moment, expecting, no, hoping he would come back through the door. When he didn’t you shrugged and went out to your car.

School, you thought, might be a little more interesting tomorrow.

—-

Styles looked around the hallways trying to catch a glimpse you walking to your next class. He swiveled his head back and forth, scanning the faces passing by, looking for the cutest one, yours.

Scott looked over at his friend and frowned, “Dude, whats wrong? You’ve been like this all morning, who are you looking for?”

Styles spoke without looking at him, “Yeah, um, oh! There they are, ahh. They’re beautiful, don’t you think? I met them last night at the clinic when I was looking for you but, they’re… why are you looking at me like that?”

Styles faced Scott, who was giving him a look, “Seriously, whats wrong?”

Scott pointed to where you were walking, “Them?”

He nodded, “Uh, yeah, why?”

“Dude, that’s my sibling. No.”

Styles gulped, “N-no?”

The other boy growled, like, literally growled, “Just… no.”

Nice Shirt

DONE One-Shots: Can I have a Harley Quinn one shot when I first meet her Announcements: Hey guys! Finals are kicking my butt and so are play rehearsals. I’m very sorry for not updating as much as I should. This One-shot is a little darker but I hope you all enjoy! Warnings: Attempted assault and a fight scene.

A cold wind rushed past you, causing you to shiver and pull your small coat around you even tighter. With a sigh you went down the path between two buildings that would eventually lead to your home. You were just about to stop and tie you shoe when you heard chuckling behind you. Calmly, you turned around, trying to asses whether you were in danger or not. You silently cursed yourself for taking such a secluded route home and quickened your pace when you saw a small group of people behind you.

You were almost out of the alley when another small group of people appeared before you. Your eyes went wide and you whipped your head around again, seeing that the group behind you was looking as malicious as the one in front of you.

Uh oh.

You turned yourself so that you were able to see both of the groups at once as they converged on your position, completely surrounding you. Your breath quickened along with your pulse. For a moment, everything was so quiet you thought that you could hear the blood rushing in your ears.

Then, someone stepped in front of you, looking like the head of the group, and whipped out a knife, “What’s a pretty little thing like you doing out here at this time o’ night?”

You tried to not look them in the eyes, “Please,” you squeaked, “I don’t want any trouble.”

The leader chuckled, “Trouble?” He waved his knife around, gesturing to the rest of the group, “We ain’t want any trouble either, just want to have some fun.”

He got closer to you, causing you to back up into a wall. Putting his hand on the wall near your head, he leaned in so close you could smell his breath. You almost gagged at the rancid smell that came off of him.

“But,” he said, now waving the sharp looking knife close to your eye, “We can’t have fun if you scream.”

Feeling tears picking at the edges of your eyes, you closed them and waited for the worst. But then, you heard him grunt with surprise and… Pain? You opened your eyes slowly and saw that the leader was on the ground and groaning in pain.

Whipping your head up you saw that the others of the group were converging on another spot. Woah, is that Batman? You thought to yourself. Shaking your head you looked around the alley for something that might be used at a weapon and quickly found some bottles on the ground.

Picking one of them up, you ran over to the quickly dwindling group of punks and saw that it wasn’t Batman that was kicking but, but a woman in a red and white checkered suit and blonde hair.

Harley Quinn, you thought with some shock and maybe a bit of fear. You almost dropped your bottle and ran out of the alley just to get away from the villainess, but you noticed a figure stalking up behind her fighting form. You groaned inwardly a bit as you ran up and swung the bottle with all of your might at the attackers head. It connected with a satisfying crack and he, along with shards of glass, fell to the ground in a painful heap. You gave a satisfied smile and looked up… Right at the smiling face of none other then Harley Quinn herself.

“Heh!” She chuckled, “Nice one! Thanks for the save.”

You stuttered for a moment, unsure of what to say, and then, “Uh, no, no. Thank you so much. You’re the one that saved me! That was pretty cool.”

“No problem suger, just don’t go wandering down no more dark alleys! Yo never know what kinds of creeps live in the dark.”

You were about to say something else when alarms started going off in the building next to you.

She looked over and then back at you quickly, “Well, that my que! Later tater!”

She ran down the other direction in a hurry, but she paused at the end, “Nice shirt by the way!”

You kept staring down the alley in shock before you came to your senses and quickly yelled back, “Thank you!”

You dusted yourself of and threw the broken bottle into the garbage can next to you and left before the cops showed up and kept you out even longer.

Wow, saved by a villain as they were running away from the police. Batman has nothing on Harley Quinn!

Can I have a Jurassic World imagine when I meet Zach and I get all shy and nervous around him? 😘😘😘😘💕

Just posted, thanks for the request!

I have 2 moods when writing.

Write 10 pages in one go, holy shit, my hands won’t stop moving, Imma get this fic done in like 2 hours WUT

I forgot how to English, oh god, write one sentence, watch 3 movies, write another sentence, the ideas are there but they just won’t come out how the frick do I end this, this Word Document has been open for over a week WELP

Apologize? Ha!

One-Shot: Hey can I have a Teen Wolf one shot when I’m secretly dating Liam and my brother Scott finds out? Announcements: I hope you all enjoy! Warnings: None

You quietly shimmied the window up from it’s closed position. As soon as you and your boyfriend were through, you quietly shut the widow again, careful not to be too loud lest you wake someone up.

Your boyfriend, Liam, sat down on your bed and looked up at you, “Are you sure we should be doing this? I mean, your brother is a werewolf too, the Alpha in fact. Oh, god. He can probably hear us right now! He is so gonna kill me!”

You chuckled and sat down next to him, “Oh calm down, scardy wolf! Scott is working late and my mom is too. We have the entire house to ourselves.”

After you said that, Liam seemed to relax a bit, “So,” he asked, “What do you want to do?”

“Oh,” you said innocently, “I don’t know, we could watch a movie or do some knitting, I do need a new scarf-”

Liam laughed, “Ok, ok, stupid question, I was just trying to make some conversation and-”

You shut him up by lightly kissing him, and soon he kissed back. All too soon you both broke off and smiled at eachother. Before either of you could do anything else though, there was the sound of the front door opening and closing.

Whipping your head around you grabbed Liam’s arm and started leading him towards the your bedroom window. He, while panicking along with you, began trying to scramble out of the window along with your help. Suddenly the door to your room slammed open, with a panicked looking Scott running into your room.

“Guys, I thought I smelled Liam, is everything ok-”

After Scott had a second to slow down, he saw you shoving a terror stricken Liam out of a second story window. Putting two and two together he suddenly started looking a little less panicked and a little more… Wolfish.

“Uh, this isn’t what it looks like?” Liam tried weakly.

“What is this? Are you two dating?”

You grimaced and looked at your feet, “Uh, yeah, for about two months now,” looking back up at your brother, “I mean it’s not that bad, it’s not like we’re doing anything wrong!”

He looked at you, “As your big brother, there are a lot of wrong things going on right now!”

He shot his eyes up at Liam who was now safely inside of your room again.

“And you!” He said, “My little sibling? Really!? Dude, there are a lot that I would let slide, but you two? Nope. Get out.”

Liam puffed out his chest a little bit, trying to look bigger than he was, “Look, Scott, I have no bad intentions with-”

Your brother’s eyes flared red and you groaned, “Out, now!”

You gave an apologetic look towards Liam as he jumped and started going out of the window again.

You sighed, “Liam, Liam,” he looked back at you, “Sweetie you can go out the front door now.”

He paused for a moment before quickly coming back inside the room and awkwardly scooting by Scott and down the stairs.

You looked at Scott with such a fury that would have scared Derek, “Wow, ok, Mr. Scary Alpha Wolf Man, was that really necessary? I’m allowed to date people y'know, without you policing everyone I flirt with!”

“That was not flirting!” He started, “That was a possible disaster! Listen, I’m not trying to police who you date, I’m just being your big brother. I’m trying to watch out for you.”

You snorted, “Well could you do it next time without making their lives flash before their eyes?”

He smiled, “No promises.”

“You also need to apologize to Liam.”

“Oh, I’ll do more than just apologize, don’t you worry.”

You squinted with suspicion but shrugged it off as Scott left for his room and you decided to go to bed, seeing as how it was pretty late.

—-

The next day at school, Scott blocked Liam outside of his next class.

Liam, shocked, began saying, “Hey, listen, I’m really sorry about last-”

Scott growled and let his eyes flash red, “You hurt them, I will have no issues with throwing you off a cliff, you got that?”

He gulped, “Yes, perfectly, crystal clear, no problamo-” and with that, Scott abruptly walked away, seemingly satisfied.

You walked up next to a shocked looking Liam, “Hey, you alright?”

He looked down at you quickly, “Yup! Let’s go!”

You watched him streak into the room, looking scared.

You started scanning the hallway and caught the eye of your brother, and under your breath so no one, well, no one normal would hear, you muttered, “Apologize my butt! I’m so gonna kick you when we get home!” And then with that, you walked into the classroom.

Nachos? Beef stroganoff? Uhhhhhhh... just, like, a pile of beef?

i have so much fucking hamburger in my freezer and literally no idea what to do with it. i made stuffed peppers the other day and even that only took up ¼ of the hamburger. why the fuck did i buy so much hamburger. did i go through a phase where i thought hamburger was the only meat i could cook. what’s wrong with me. someone help.

dude, i dig your blog(: that is all. xx

Thank you very much! That really means a lot to me:-)