Do You Know In The DC Universe How Tawky Tawny Is Either A Talking Tiger , A Talking Tiger That Stands

Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.

A big thing for Clark is, once he gets a better grasp on his super-hearing, he makes a point of kind of consciously keeping his super-hearing away from Lois's apartment because "I trust her and respect her privacy" but at the same time he is absolutely attuned to when Lois's voice reaches a certain pitch/volume (much in the same way he is attuned to people screaming/calling for help or saying "put the gun down" all over the city). So pretty much every morning Clark just fucking perks up like "Lois? Trouble???? Oh wait she's just singing in the shower. Wow, she is really bad at it. I love her. :)"

And that's also how she gets terrible songs stuck in his head all day.

WIP guessing game: help

"I know about Billy, Marvel," Batman says, and Billy . . . blinks.

"You know?!" he sputters. Okay, so apparently his secret identity was just . . . literally never a secret at all, then. Which, well–Batman, so that just figures, really. So actually this is kind of a relief and might even mean that he's fine with–

"Yes," Batman confirms with a nod. "So I understand your current reservations about parenthood."

. . . wait what.

"Huh?" Billy says, blinking stupidly at him.

"I don't know how much of you is still C.C. Batson or what you do or don't remember about being him," Batman says. "But the resemblance is undeniable, if nothing else. Certainly your and your wife's deaths were . . . well, suspicious. And you're hardly the first archeologists to dig up a god or six."

Oh, okay. Well.

This is apparently what Billy gets for his personal mental image of a "hero" being his dad, then, isn't it.

Crap.

"To be honest I've been looking for Billy for a while now, I just didn't want to bring it up before I found him," Batman admits, looking dissatisfied with himself. "My most recent reliable intel puts him in Fawcett City, but I assume you're aware of that, given your evident attachment to the place."

"You're looking for Billy?" Billy asks incredulously. "Why?"

"Because he's your son," Batman says. "And because he's a homeless child who's been abused and neglected and needs help. I honestly don't know where you go when you're not being Captain Marvel–frankly I'm not sure if you even exist when you're not being Captain Marvel, given what little I actually know about your powers and your death and your role as the Champion of Magic and just how damn impossible you are to find when you're off-duty–but I'm assuming that wherever it happens to be is not necessarily conducive to providing a stable home environment and being legally dead certainly can't be helping with that, so my original intention was to find the boy and help you arrange some manner of care for and visitation with him. And given the revelation of your relation to Robin, well . . . I'd like to take Billy in myself, if you'd both be comfortable with that. It seems . . . appropriate, under the circumstances."

"You want to foster Billy because I'm Robin's soulmate?" Billy says, absolutely positive that he's misunderstood literally every single word that just came out of Batman's mouth. There is no possible way that he did not.

"It's not exactly out of my wheelhouse," Batman replies wryly. "Although I'll be keeping this one out of the tights, ideally. Though I make no long-term promises about that because quite frankly at this point I'm spoiled for soulmates who insist on wearing capes and I wouldn't really be surprised to turn up another one, especially given that Robin is yours and your own involvement in the superhero community."

Billy stares at him.

"Wait, are all the Gotham vigilantes your soulkids?" he blurts unthinkingly.

"Not all," Batman says. "But, well . . . probably more of them than you'd expect."

"Oh my god," Billy says in disbelief. "And you're just telling me that?! You don't tell people things, you're Batman!"

"I haven't always been the father I should have been," Batman says, and then he pulls down his cowl. Billy chokes, and then chokes again because apparently Batman is Bruce freaking Wayne and his brain just . . . just needs a moment to process that fact, like there is literally any way whatsoever that he could ever actually process that fact. He would've been less surprised to see a Kardashian under that mask, he's pretty sure. At least they've got athletes in the family, technically! "So I'm not going to make things difficult for you with Robin. Clearly he needs more than I'm capable of providing, and I'm perfectly willing to be transparent and to co-parent with you as much as possible. I want Robin to be safe and content and grow up well, and frankly put, Batson, you've proven yourself to be a good man time and again and I trust you to do what's best by our son."

Okay, well, now Billy just feels like dirt.

"You do know what happened to Billy, don't you?" he asks just a little bit desperately, because there is literally no way that this conversation is a real and actual thing that's really and actually happening. "Like, just–everything that happened there? There's a reason he's not in school or the system or with a relative or anything like that."

"What happened to Billy wasn't your fault," Batman tells him, meeting his eyes all quiet and intent and sincere. "And I will do everything in my power to help you make it right."

"Oh no, you're actually like . . . just genuinely a really good person, aren't you," Billy says despairingly, staring at him all over again and really, really wishing he could swear right now.

Maybe he'll just go throw himself into the sun. Maybe that's what he'll just go and do.

The corner of Batman's mouth quirks up wryly. His eyes even crinkle a little, which Billy can see on account of his total lack of cowl right now, oh god.

Billy despairs.

"I mean it," Batman says gently. "It wasn't your fault, and it doesn't mean you can't be a good father now."

"I need to talk to Robin," Billy says, because he definitely, definitely needs to talk to Robin. Batman inclines his head in an accepting nod, because Batman is probably under the impression that Billy wants to go give Robin a good ol' traditional "I know I'm not your biodad but I'm here for you, champ!" kind of speech, and Billy just . . . really cannot explain the real situation to him right now. Or ever.

Can he just lie to Batman for the rest of their lives, maybe? He can just pretend to be his own dad for the Justice League and keep dodging whatever Bat-surveillance happens to be in Fawcett and parent his older-than-he-is soulmate, right? That's a thing that he can do?

That's probably not a thing that he can do.

Although he might be willing to try, at this point.

I fucking hate the rotating tall chairs of death, I feel like I’ll die if I fall

Do you ever memorize for a presentation and you get it perfectly but when the presentation actually happens your memory decides to throw its self out the window

I wonder how many wives joined Bingges harem because they were secretly lesbians and living in a mansion filled with beautiful women is literally heaven.

Our husband is out fucking some other wife? Dw girl I'll go get the strap.

Listen I've always said that pidw must have had several threesome scenes to appeal to gooners, and of course Shang Qinghua went "dudes love girl on girl action, I'll write these women making out for fanservice before they have sex with Binghe"

But then Bingmei ends up being gay and monogamous and suddenly there are all these women single who have an instinctive desire to kiss and fuck each other and no husband to act as their comp het middle man

Shen Yuan: how are the Palace Mistress and Sha Hualing dating!?

Shang Qinghua: I mean they did straight up have sex in pidw

Shen Yuan: yeah, for Binghe's attention! It was straight sex with another woman!

Shang Qinghua: I think I'm starting to understand how your mind works

Will being sincerely supportive of Elizabeth's unconventional passions, desires, choices, roles etc. is actually, probably my absolute most favorite thing about their relationship, I'm not gonna lie.

When she throws out "daft" battle plans, he just shrugs and throws his weight behind trying them.

He saw her show up in menswear to save his ass on Isla de Muerte and was just thrilled about it--nothing other, nothing less.

He gave her swords and personally taught her how to use them to her best advantage, helped her make herself more formidable and independent. Literally, the way that swordplay is a genuinely central part of their love language is so--!!

When she cut her hair in the old DMC drafts, he immediately complimented her over it.

When she was distraught over Jack's death, he offered to help her make it right.

When he found out she was Pirate King, he just said, "Based."

And when she ordered them into a battle that was likely a lost cause, he was the first "fool" to stand behind her.

And she almost never has to ask it of him, he just does it.

He's not without flaws or missteps, don't get me wrong. But when Elizabeth is in the thick of anything she's put her mind to, there's virtually never self-consciousness or doubt or competition or anything like that on Will's part--the closest he comes to that is questioning whether she's fallen out of love with him and why, and even then he doesn't let it stand between her and what he believes she wants. Instead, there's this beautiful, consistent almost-entirely-nonverbal expression that she deserves to have and be everything she wants.

Lemon and Lime 💛💚

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Spoilers for Justice League Unlimited