Latest Posts by illusoryxdays - Page 2

Oh ok so it turns out ive been borrowing grief from the future ! it turns out ive been preparing to lose the things i love rather than basking in the light of them while they last. Maybe i should nt do that

Tuesday, 13th May 2025

Electrodynamics review on campus & outside today… still fighting through a lack of motivation but switching up study spaces helps. One of these days I’ll do something other than online flashcards but here’s my laptop again 😅

🎵Infant Phenomenon – No-Man

Live the life you love 💚

5.13.25 - rant and exam update

i'm currently going insane. i failed my discrete math assessment by this much 👌🏻 last week and i'm knee deep in prep to retake it this week. the problem is i need my apartment to be completely free of any humans besides me and my boyfriend is coming over thursday night because we're flying out super early friday morning to go to a wedding.

basically, i have today to get all of my retake requirements done so i can attempt to take the exam tomorrow or kick the boyfriend out thursday night for a couple hours so i can get a proctor slot. my course end date is saturday and i've extended this end date three times since the start of the semester and i just want to be done with this classsssss. self-studying a subject you are not naturally good at is another type of hell.

on a good note, went to the gym consistently this weekend and went on a very nice walk by the river (pictured above).

will update on monday if i'm still alive or not on a pysch hold from stress :)

All the things that made my life full—sciences, not the least of them—an ever-unfolding journey of discovery where every question opens a new world of answers

All the things that made my life full—sciences, not the least of them—an ever-unfolding journey of discovery where every question opens a new world of answers

i love finding different sources and pages for what i'm studying because it makes me feel like i am investigating something. also, green notes.

| 12 may 2025 |

I've taken a little break after finals to chill. I'm going to my aunt's later this week, she lives near the beach!!

also I'm moving apartments at the end of this month which is exciting but also stressful since I can no longer nag my brothers to help me move (they have full time jobs in different states now 😔💔). I don't have classes this summer, just research but I may try to prepare myself for quantum II and numerical analysis,,, also yes this is in fact another picture from my trip to the chicago botanical garden 😃 (I have too many haha)

12.05.2025—late night studying. can’t believe there’s only 2 weeks left of the semester. truly wild

Espresso-stained pages, whispered thoughts between hardcover spines, and mornings that begin with poetry and croissants. A soft life of books, cafés, and intentional stillness.

🌿📖

you don’t need perfect conditions to start. you just need to start. five minutes of focus is better than waiting for motivation to come.

i am nooooot locked the fuck in. im locked the fuck out. call the locksmith

| 8 may 2025 |

my finals are over!! my first year of graduate school finished... I didn't take any pictures during the week while studying besides this one at the library haha. also i found a professor to start research with over the summer, the first assignment is to help with a supernova Ia literature search :D

35/100

Mid-sem break is here ... the campus is emptying everyday... undergrad students are going home... I love when the campus is empty ... it's a different vibe completely! this makes me feel very old and ancient! I am thinking about taking a holiday end of this month!! My supervisor says its healing time!! I guess he can see how burned out I am!!

Also, as always, I miss yoongi!!!!!!

log: 8/5/25

Call home +grocery shopping

Walk morning and afternoon

Clean and tidy living space

mental health check __journal

Read 50 pages

Study session 8-5 in lab

Proper lunch and dinner

DD_30 challenge: Day 5

[ 6th may, 2025 • 78/159 days ]

-> classes (total: 2h00)

-> EMD worksheet 1 (total: 4h00 - ex 1.1. a-i)

-> journaled

-> finished reading When We Cease to Understand the World, by Benjamín Labatut

-> continued reading The Turnglass, by Gareth Rubin (finished the green side of the book)

small things we should appreciate more

the chirping of birds in the early morning

the way the sun shines through the trees

nature after it just rained

constantly learning new things every day

libraries, bookshops, bakeries and coffeeshops

it's raining and that means a cozy study session.

The paradox of being a student: a full notebook, an empty head.

i'm finally back on a macbook again 🥹 i managed to replace the screen today and not a moment too soon, the warranty on my windows laptop just expired and it was starting to act funky again. i'm hoping this gives me the kick i need to get this math class done and move on with my semester

last final of undergrad ever tomorrow! time to go make some late night ramen…

May 3rd, 2025

Beautiful spring days... I've spent a lot of time outside this week and this changes everything. Life is so much more beautiful with sunshine, green leaves and movement outside. I'm trying to make things that make me happy and it's working well.

Yesterday, I spent an hour reading and the day before I went on a 5h hike. I bought a pottery wheel and hopefully I'll try it out tonight.

4.28-5.3

This week has been great honestly. I started back on my cut and focusing more on my weightlifting and cardio (peep the cute gym fit). I’ve been fairly productive study wise, just didn’t take pictures.

My boyfriend came up to visit me this weekend and we went hiking on Saturday and went to the gym. Side note: Emily Henry is probably my favorite romcom author and I’m getting a little sad that I’ve read all her books already lol.

05.03.25

I had some time to read in a café. I haven't done this in a while because of my schedule and some adverse events in life, hehe. But today, I had time. I'm grateful for these little moments. :) By the way, I ordered my favorite matcha latte. 🍵

[01/05] life has been so peaceful lately. (maybe because I have been neglecting the 7 courses I have to attend to. maybe).

| 29 april 2025 |

wow april is almost over... trying to balance end of the semester TAing and studying for final 🤪 also the cherry blossom picture is from like a week ago haha

🎧 1x1 — bring me the horizon, nova twins

Day 3/100

After marking some papers, it is time to review what has been written. The first step to writing is to let it flow, no matter the quality, just keep writing so you have a proper draft to work with afterwards. I am currently reworking about 25 pages written in the past few weeks and it is much easier to do than to face a blank page.

Sandwich for comfort. Carrot TD for company.

27.04.25

Big fan of an espresso tonic.

Weather’s turned for the better; sun has returned and everything is beginning to flower, to the detriment of my allergies. But nice weather warrants espresso tonics again, so there’s that small delight to enjoy amidst everything. Time of pressure in the PhD program again. Acquaintance of mine dropped out of the program a bit ago and gave me a small notebook before leaving. Mentioned knowing how much I like writing on paper and felt it was an apt parting gift. Aim to honor their intent by getting good mileage out of said notebook; in tandem with my normal spiral bound, it has thus far served its purpose well.

🎶 Sweet Life - Frank Ocean

Espresso-fueled thoughts, morning musings, and a love letter to quiet ambition — between books, cafés, and city strolls.