Hear me out-
The marauders never knew just how batshit crazy the skittles were. They had only heard some rumors but never truly saw their antics, I mean sure they had heard that one of them had set the lab on fire, or the other slept with half the school, or even that they poisoned slug horn. Yet never the fights, the weed, the insane things that thy consider normal. Especially Sirius, he expected his goody two shoes brother's friends to be pretentious assholes.
Cut to when jegulus started dating, the two friend groups started to interact, and that's when they saw how crazy they were. It started as everyone was sitting in the Slytherin common room, then out of nowhere barges on barty and Pandora cackling while running away from something, that's when Evan who was standing closest to the door quickly shut it with a shit eating grin. Regulus let out an exasperated sigh and then Dorcas with a subtle smirk "what'd you two do this time?" And with the most terrifying grin Pandora, sweet, sweet Pandora said in the most soft voice "we jinxed Snape then we lit the classroom on fire" Regulus then just smiled and said "awww thank guys you didn't have to" in the most sarcastic tone despite his smile.
Yeah, that was another thing about the skittles, they were OVERprotective, those guys would kill for each other if the occasion arise. The marauders saw a lot of their antics, from laughing as thy jinx or curse someone, to smoking weed in the perfect's room and playing tag (ON THE EDGE OF THE ASTRONOMY TOWER) but what tops the disastrous cake is when they saw just to which extent their cruelty reaches.
It started with a commotion in the halls, Remus was the first to arrive, then Sirius, and oh was he shocked. He saw his little cousin, HIS LITTLE COUSIN narcissa being hugged by Pandora, while barty absolutely beats the living shit out of Mulciber and Lucius. He looked manic, nose and lip bleeding, but he had this crazed look in his eyes, and a grin of pure evil. All while Evan is smirking at him and Regulus and Dorcas apply healing charms on Mulciber and Lucius so they wouldn't pass out. They were all laughing, Regulus. Was. Laughing. Maniacally. Then narcissa comes up to Regulus and whispers something in his ear. "That's enough barty" he then says. Barty, the fucking maniac seems reluctant to back off until Evan quite literally pulls him off and throws him over his shoulder. Regulus walks menacingly towards the two assholes on the floor, "I'll say this once and once only, you talk like that about my cousin or touch her without her consent one more time and we'll cut you tiny dicks off to shove them so far down your throats till they come out your ass with your shitty personality, got it? " they just nod while the deemed "skittles" saunder off.
Sirius wanted to rip his hair out, james was beyond turned on, Peter looked traumatized while lily was chuckling and Remus looked amused.
Another incident was when both groups were sitting together and a Raven claw came up to then. He was eyeing lily and Dorcas weirdly. "Hey ladies, how about you and I leave those losers alone and have some fun? " they looked beyond uncomfortable, "no thanks mate we're not into that." The guy frowned "I promise you won't regret it, I've got a way with girls". " look pal, they said they weren't interested " snarled barty. "Says the person who slept with half the school, shut up whor-" before he even finishes, he was on the floor, a livid Evan looming over him. "Fucking scum, let's leave"
It took about a week and a half of James and Regulus dating before the marauders realized how fucking batshit crazy they were.
(link to ao3)
This holiday season I sent cards to some of my tumblr followers with ficlets inside. To those who couldn’t receive cards, I promised to post them once Christmas was over. Here they are! 1: Solangelo - Picking out a tree 2: Conchell - Christmas Morning 3: Aphrodite Cabin - Snowball Fight 4: Solangelo Beauty & the Beast AU (prompted by @solangelo-fangirl10 ) 5: Will & Drew ficlet (prompted by @skate-fast-eat-grass)
Headcanons for my Teenage Dirtbag AU!!!!
(A lot of these will be Darius-centric, he's my favourite character leave me alone)
Darius has one of those old man leather wallets and keeps a group photo of the hagsquad in it
Eda and Raine are Partners In Crime™️ and it drives Darius up the wall
Lilith hasn't yet left for the Emperor's Coven, but everytime she gets roped into irresponsible shenanigans by the gang she starts panicking that it will "end up on her record" and stop her from moving up the ranks
Darius is the most responsible of the group and so ends up having to talk his way into getting them off scot-free whenever they do less-than-legal stuff
Raine grew their hair out just a little over their collar and Darius never stops making fun if it
"... shit." "Not as shit as whatever the hell you did to your hair." "Oh fuck off-" etc.
Darius had a vErY EmBarRaSIng cRuSh on Alador before they actually got together and no-one will let it go
"I'm meeting up with Alador later and-" "OooOOoo going on a date with your boyfriend?!?!" "S-SHUT THE FUCK UP"
Pre-Aladarius, Eda and Raine once cornered Alador and interrogated him abt his feelings for Darius (Alador was terrified)
Eda had a crusty old flip-scroll that was so cracked it barely turned on from her throwing it around constantly
Darius bitches and bickers with everyone sm people think he hates the hagsquad even though they're all literally his best friends
If you have any questions abt this au btw I am SO ready to ramble lmao
FOUND family??? you think i just found them like this??? babes this is FORGED family. Me & the bros were scrap metal in a junkyard (very valuable, very sharp, very dangerous, uncared for) and we GOT IN THE FUCKING FIRE TOGETHER. WE did this. we said I AM NOT LEAVING YOU and melted into each other for better or for worse (it’s for better) and we are A FUNCTIONAL UNIT now. DO NOT SEPARATE. BATTERIES FUCKING INCLUDED. FOUND family my ass, we built this non-nuclear family unit from the ground up, don’t devalue this!!! it was is and will be a labour of love!!!
seijoh 4 as summer camp employees
hanamaki takahiro is BUILT for this he has fun hair he’s weird he’s engaging his he’s colorful his water bottle is covered in stickers he has sandals on toes Out he is shameless he’s kinda unhinged it so works. he’s a counselor but almost never has a cabin to himself he’s more like a sub if someone else has gets sick or whatever but when he shows up it’s like a celebrity sighting a monumentous occasion. if he’s not needed anywhere else he’s helping out with arts and crafts his favorite artworks are the ones where you can’t tell what the fuck it’s supposed to be. he has lots of string friendship bracelets he knows how to make them but lies whenever someone asks he just gives them one he gatekeeps cuz he thinks it’s funny and teaching is too much work. he tells the most Outrageous ghost stories and is the reason only half of the kids will go in the lake he talks about bigfoot and campers who went missing and the town’s curse he is carrying on legacies he is SO fun.
iwaizumi hajime is the Coolest fucking counselor ever. bandana around his head sleeves cut off of the uniform tshirt (muscle tee now) he has friendship bracelets a beat up watch one anklet his water bottle is on its last leg he has a dinosaur keychain on his backpack he like epitomizes cool guy the kids idolize him. his cabin wins every single camp-wide competition every time like he’s peak athleticism and he’s just like so awesome or whatever it’s contagious. he picks kids up and throws them in the lake and pool if a frisbee gets stuck in a tree he gets it every time he caught a snake once and took it back to the woods everyone wants to sit next to him in the mess hall he can’t build a fire and is mad about it he sleeps like a fucking Rock and snores like a lawnmower and eats enough for 3 people at every meal.
oikawa tooru is a lifeguard. at the pool at the lake he’s always around the water somehow and Everyone has a crush on him. up on his lifeguard chair sunglasses on his skin is all golden whistle around his neck or spinning on his finger his hair somehow always looks good he wears a headband one day and someone literally faints. he teaches swimming and canoeing lessons and is really good at it he almost Never has to save anyone for someone who works by the water you’d think they’d swim a little more. he’s pretty quiet when he’s on duty he takes the job seriously but he’s a fucking motormouth when he’s off that chair he will Not shut up. he sits w the boys at meals running that fucking mouth pisses them off So Bad he blatantly flirts/fights with iwaizumi when the kids aren’t around and Refuses to get into a canoe with him bc it always ends up getting flipped. he’s really good with the younger kids they’re his favorite to work with but he is generally well liked throughout the camp he’s like everyone’s counselor crush and he always eats raisin bran for breakfast.
matsukawa issei is the camp cryptid he works with the older kids who like go backpacking and spend all their time in the woods he emerges looking like he’s been there all his life. he kinda just appears sometimes doing odd jobs taking things to the lost and found feeding the chickens fishing things out of the lake general camp maintenance he materializes out of the trees with a fire extinguisher a neon yellow backpack and a missing camper. he’s often accompanied by the camp dog so there are theories (encouraged by takahiro) that he’s actually a werewolf and that’s why he’s everywhere some people think he is the camp dog issei thinks this is very funny. the only place he’s consistently found is the mess hall at meals otherwise when not wandering or in the forest he can be found hanging out with hiro coming up with new ghost stories playing some sort of sport with hajime or pouring water on tooru’s head wherever he happens to be. issei is the best campfire builder on the property and some of the kids are scared of him he never has his phone can only be contacted by walkie-talkie he is the jack of all trades.
there are a lot of super aesthetic posts about achilles with all these pictures of figs and ichor and whatnot which is fine and cool but i would like to see more posts that recognize that achilles is the type of guy to tie a knife to a roomba and set it off in his tent whenever agamemnon tries to visit him
Percy: The gods are talking about killing me again.
Nico: Seriously??
Percy: Yeah. But the jokes on them, that's what I want.
Thalia: *sprays spray bottle* Bad Percy!
Oliver Otto x Fem! Reader
He leaves you for a man
married iwaoi tingz
hajime: “ha, nice one shittykawa”
tooru: “well ACCORDING TO YOU im not shittykawa anymore 😌”
hajime: oh shit he’s right “ok yes I’ll sign”
Heroes of Olympus except when Leo gets to Calypso’s island he freaks out that this random lady has fallen for him and doesn’t want him to leave.
So Leo just panics and says he’s gay.
And once he starts talking it doesn’t stop. He makes up this very convincing story about his boyfriend that’s waiting for him back home.
“What’s his name?”
“Jason.”
Because yes he based the mystery guy of his dreams that he’s totally in love with on his best friend.
And somewhere along the lines realises oh shit I love Jason for real.
“Oh man I love him…”
“I would hope so?”