You All Need To Think About How You Interact With Trans Men Online, Like Really Think

you all need to think about how you interact with trans men online, like really think

recently one of my posts about being a trans man and casually interacting with another trans man got about 90,000 notes and the tags and comments are full of ‘too pure for this earth’, ‘i’m a dirty sinner i don’t deserve to read this post’, ‘adorable cute sweet precious boys’ despite the fact that it’s mentioned that i am in college and not a child in the post and you all need to think about how some trans men do not want to be referred to that way and being okay with being referred to that way is pretty much exclusively a young teenager tumblr thing that makes a lot of guys uncomfortable. i’m just a man. none of this is necessary and it’s very performative, but…

along with this infantilizing, with this obsession with the proposed purity of another man and myself just for existing, there’s also dehumanization that comes with it, for example:

somewhere along the post, someone decided it would be a good idea to add, ‘all i can imagine is two eldritch horrors trying to get their voices as horrifying and fucked up as possible’ (not exact quote but that’s the gist of it)…

and someone decided that it would be a good idea to take my experience, wildly change the context and make a FANFIC, on MY OWN POST, of two eldritch MONSTERS upset because their voices didn’t sound ‘as horrific’ as the ‘monsters’ around them, and bonding over it together. nowhere in this fanfiction was being trans mentioned.

this is, quite possibly, the most horrifying thing someone has added to one of my posts and going beyond dehumanizing my experiences as a trans man enjoying my voice getting deeper, but also writing a fanfiction onto the post that changed the context of ‘two trans men finding validation between one another and our voices’ into ‘two monsters are sad they’re not scary enough and bond over trying to be scary together’. i shouldn’t have to explain how horrible that is for me to read, and how horrible it is to see that added on my own post & circulated through hundreds with no criticism.

quite frankly, it’s devastating to see how people talk about and interact with trans men. we are either children who must be protected and are weak and vulnerable and ‘too pure’, or we are fuel for your fanfics that completely strip us of our humanity. i consent to neither and if you think that any of these things are okay to do to a complete stranger, all you’re doing is patting yourself on the back for your performative ally points while making trans men uncomfortable with sharing their experiences and talking about their lives and trying to be happy with themselves. stop it.

Happy International Asexuality Day!

6th April marks the first celebration of IAD which has been organised by various groups around the world.

Happy International Asexuality Day! Today is a day for celebrating all people who identify under the asexual umbrella and spreading awareness about their experiences.

A number of ace organisations worked together to make April 6th 2021 the very first International Asexuality Day.

The themes of today are:

• Advocacy

• Celebration

• Education

• Solidarity

What is asexuality?

• Feeling little to no sexual attraction

Some asexual people also feel no romantic attraction. This is known as aromantic.

However, some asexual people do feel romantic attraction. This is broadly known as alloromantic, but can be more specific such as biromantic (romantically attracted to two or more genders but experience little/no sexual attraction).

Asexuality is a spectrum!

Here’s just a few identities within the asexual umbrella:

Demisexual - someone who does not experience sexual attraction until they have formed a deep emotional connection with someone

Grey-asexual – someone who feels sexual attraction weakly, infrequently, or in specific contexts

Aceflux – someone whose sexual orientation fluctuates but generally stays on the asexual spectrum

Lithosexual – someone who does experience sexual attraction but does not want it reciprocated. Person may be uncomfortable at the thought of someone being sexually attracted to them, or they may lose their sexual feelings if they learn it's reciprocated.

Fraysexual – when someone only experiences sexual attraction towards those that they are not deeply connected with, and lose that attraction as they get to know the person.

Why is awareness important?

• Combats acephobia

• Challenges normativity

• Helps provide support

• Feelings of connectedness and community ; feel less alone

• Dispel myths and misunderstandings

• Help normalise asexuality and other LGBTQ+ identities

• Representation ; increasing visibility

• Helps highlight the issues faced

• Celebrating people on the asexual spectrum

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icelyme

4 years ago

boys 👏 can 👏 be 👏 asexual👏

rb if you agree

83K notes View Post

icelyme

4 years ago

honestly though not to sound like the joker but the sooner you realize "normality" is a social construct and everyone's concept of "normal" is personal and subjective and you will never be "normal" or "socially acceptable" to everyone so you might as well just find or make a space and community where you can be the version of yourself that makes you happy the sooner your life will change for the better

4K notes View Post

icelyme

4 years ago