I Am Consumed By Fear That My Mother Might Die In Gaza While I Am Far Away, Unable To Help Her. The Thought

I was naive to think this site would be more sensible to Mahmoud's situation. This is just like on twitter where people share his posts but nothing else is done.

Only 3.2k left on his campaign yet it feels like he'll reach it in an eternity if ever. He only received €16 today. Very fun fact : if it keeps going at this rate (which is already wishful thinking) then he'll reach his goal in 200 days :)) !! I don't think displaying his suffering and photos of all the people he lost on here would do anything to help. I'll only ask you to donate if you want to help a young palestinian taking care of his family. And if possible share his campaign as widely as you can and to not forget him please.

You can donate here.

Vetted by @gazafunds

I'll keep on adding update to this post to keep track of the progress of his campaign.

how to start reading again

from someone who was a voracious reader until high school and is now getting back into it in her twenties.

start with an old favourite. even though it felt a little silly, i re-read the harry potter series one christmas and it wiped away my worry that i wasn't capable of reading anymore. they are long books, but i was still able to get completely immersed and to read just as fast as i had years and years ago.

don't be afraid of "easier" books. before high school i was reading the french existentialists, but when getting back into reading, i picked up lucinda riley and sally rooney. not my favourite authors by far, but easier to read while not being totally terrible. i needed to remind myself that only choosing classics would not make me a better or smarter person. if a book requires a slower pace of reading to be understood, it's easier to just drop it, which is exactly what i wanted to avoid at first.

go for essays and short stories. no need to explain this one: the shorter the whole, the less daunting it is. i definitely avoided all books over 350 pages at first and stuck to essay collections until i suddenly devoured donna tartt's goldfinch.

remember it's okay not to finish. i was one of those people who finished every book they started, but not anymore! if i pick up a book at the library and after a few chapters realise i'd rather not read it, i just return it. (another good reason to use your local library! no money spent on books you might end up disliking.)

analyse — or don't. some people enjoy reading more when they take notes or really stop to think about the contents. for me, at first, it was more important to build the habit of reading, and the thought of analysing what i read felt daunting. once i let go of that expectation, i realised i naturally analyse and process what i read anyway.

read when you would usually use your phone. just as i did when i was a child, i try to read when eating, in the bathroom, on public transport, right before sleeping. i even read when i walk, because that's normally a time i stare at my screen anyway. those few pages you read when you brush your teeth and wait for a friend very quickly stack up.

finish the chapter. if you have time, try to finish the part you're reading before closing the book. usually i find i actually don't want to stop reading once i get to the end of a chapter — and if i do, it feels like a good place to pick up again later.

try different languages. i was quickly approaching a reading slump towards the end of my exchange year, until i realised i had only had access to books in english and that, despite my fluency, i was tired of the language. so as soon as i got back home i started picking up books in my native tongue, which made reading feel much easier and more fun again! after some nine months, i'm starting to read in english again without it feeling like a huge task.

forget what's popular. i thought social media would be a fun way to find interesting books to read, but i quickly grew frustrated after hating every single book i picked up on some influencer's recommendation. it's certainly more time-consuming to find new books on your own, but this way i don't despise every novel i pick up.

remember it isn't about quantity. the online book community's endless posts about reading 150 books each year or 6 books in a single day easily make us feel like we're slow, bad readers, but here's the thing: it does not matter at all how many books you read or what your reading pace is. we all lead different lives, just be proud of yourself for reading at all!

stop stressing about it. we all know why reading is important, and since the pandemic reading has become an even more popular hobby than it was before (which is wonderful!). however, there's no need to force yourself to be "a reader". pick up a book every now and then and keep reading if you enjoy it, but not reading regularly doesn't make you any less of a good person. i find the pressure to become "a person who reads" or to rediscover my inner bookworm only distances me from the very act of reading.

I dislike the recent changes in fandom culture so much. Like, why do the newer fans need everything to be either black or white? If i want to ship these two characters who tried to kill each other multiple times, then why can't i? Yes i am aware they are toxic as fuck and that is exactly why i need to ship them. similarly, If i wanna be a fan of this insane, batshit crazy character who is an obvious criminal , then i am a fan of this batshit crazy criminal bro, i dont need to defend their actions? i don't need them to be either black or white? I signed up for moral ambiguity here, not to justify them committing atrocities smh

Don't stop talking about them. We need to be their voice.

Inspired by the amazing poem by dana

Types of Blorbo Thoughts:

Projection - This blorbo is just like me and therefore every single trait I have is now their traits as well

Incoherent - This blorbo constantly fills my head but if you asked me to describe why I liked them so much i wouldn’t be able to tell you

Music - Every single song I listen to reminds me of this blorbo

Horror - I love this character so much I want to put them through Horrors beyond their comprehension

All of the above - Hell on earth.

Marcelat Sakobi of Democratic Republic of Congo, at the end of the women’s round of 32 boxing match against Uzbekistan's Sitora Turdibekova, made a strong gesture to raise awareness of the ongoing genocide in the DR Congo by placing her hand in front of her mouth and pointing two fingers at her temple.

Resources for Congo:

Friends of Congo

Panzi Foundation

War Child

CammeDRCongo

Genocide Watch

A guide to the decades-long conflict in DR Congo

Democratic Republic of the Congo: Industrial mining of cobalt and copper for rechargeable batteries is leading to grievous human rights abuses.

An explanation thread from 2019.

Books on Congo.

Feel free to let me know of other resources to add.

LETS GO LESBIANSSS

Random pieces of advice

The world is less scary and chaotic if you lie down on the floor

Noticing different kinds of light (stars, candles, sunshine or city lights) can bring back the feeling of wonder and hope

If you can’t shower, washing your hands and face will help you feel better and cleaner

If you can’t clean anything else, changing and/or washing your bedsheets can do wonders

Fresh air and being outside in general can help with depersonalisation

Spending time around animals can help you recognise what’s important and calm anxious thought cycles

Techniques for emotional regulation in children can really help adults too

Putting random asortment of food on a plate without creating an actual dish still counts as a meal

Drink something warm

Delete that app

Treat yourself as if you were a kid. Buy yourself a toy, play around, learn about cool new things

Fast paced life isn’t morally better and it’s not good for everyone

There is no good reason to keep yourself hungry

Singing to your full lung capacity can be a great way to let out built up emotion

Tension in the face can cause headaches. Try to massage your face regularly

Nothing is as important as your health

You are a whole person on your own, you don’t need someone else to be there to deserve love and attention. Your life can be full as long as you are present

You should cry things out whenever you feel like it

Slow walks are still movement and they do count

It’s never as bad as you imagine it

Try changing your toothpaste flavor if you hate brushing your teeth

Anything can be a stim toy - one of my favourites is a heavy dragon necklace that has a complicated surfice. It’s fun to touch and hold and it’s not even “actual” stim toy

Procrastinating and feeling bad about it is true waste of time. Learn to truly rest. It takes the same amount of time but it is useful

Sometimes you have to force yourself to do the things that make you feel better

Don’t trust the thoughts you have after not sleeping for a while

Friendships don’t have to be forever to mean something

I cannot stress enough, how important I think this scene is for Endo and Takiishi's relationship

Because Umemiya has just told him "the trick to being with someone who'll change your world". Hes told him to start calling people by their names, to awknowledge them, to show them that he sees them. Because that is the way you let someone affect and influence you, by first awknowledging that they exist.

He then proceeds to immediately follow this advice, and in my opinion sort of test it out, and call Umemiya by name.

Now, what I think is so incredibly important, is him calling Endo by name. Him actively and consciously choosing to awknowledge him and his existence, and show him that he's looking at him.

Because he could've just, not done that. Or he could've done it later. But I think it is incredibly important that he does it immediately. He makes the decision to show Endo that he sees him, something that Endo likely hasn't experienced even once in their years together.

And I don't know, maybe I'm just stating the obvious or something..

But it's just such an important little scene, because this wasn't something Endo thought he was ever going to get. He was fully ready to keep on going as usual, doing and working towards what Takiishi wants, to find Takiishi interesting people so he can use Umemiya's advice on someone other than him.

But in just this small moment, hes validated Endo's entire existence, that he does mean something to Takiishi, and that maybe he can have the things he truly loves.

I also really don't think that Endo has expressed what he wants or needs to Takiishi, like ever. They really do not communicate well. But this scene shows us thta they're going to get better, that they are going to start understanding each other more.