THE PLOT TWIST 😳 GENIUS

Jisung using your body to feel good just like you've asked him to<3

can we please have a hyunjin and lee know link? <3 tysm!

Ofc you guys canヾ(*’Ｏ’*)/

Lee know Hard Thought Visualizer

Whiny sex with him would be so cute don't even try to convince me otherwise.. It's so easy to find links for him oml I'm in minho BRAINROT.

Hyunjin Hard Thought Visualizer

I ALWAYS think of hyunjin when i see a link like this. The way he would hold you up against the wall, yeah struggling the tiniest bit, but ultimately keeping you up there is the HOTTEST thing.

(If links are missing that were there before sadly they do not work anymore, for the Twitter account has been suspended)

COLLEGESLUTS.COM — IDEA 686 | HHJ

Part one of the CSC series. You can find this series’ masterpost here. This can be read as a stand-alone, but you may have questions that will be answered in future installations. Keep in mind this is the intro.

There are three things you hate more than anything: 1. Your english Lit. professor, 2. Frat parties, and last but most definitely not least, 3. CollegeSluts.com and their founders. There are three things Hyunjin hates more than anything: 1. College, 2. Back alley blowjobs, and 3. The frustrating desire to fuck you silly.

PAIRING: hyunjin x f!reader

GENRE: enemies to lovers; smut; crack; angst; college au

WC: 17k…. fear me! (also broke my record!!)

WARNINGS: reader is going through it and will continue to go through it. there’s no development for them at all in this installment i apologize (😭) reader calls skz sex-crazed demons, she’s very confused but not irrational, there’s not many warnings besides for the smut— profanity, alcohol consumption, mentions of alcoholism, annoying characters, insanely inexperienced reader, bet making, one-sided hatred, hyunjin wants to figure you out & thank god for that otherwise this series wouldn’t exist, sexual tension bottled up as hate bc yn is stupid. virgin/corruption kink, loss of virginity, overstimulation, dirty talking, unprotected sex…, creampie, fingering, pussy eating, teasing, breast play, and i think that’s it…

A/N: hi angels, i finished this in three days somehow and even though i didn’t plan on this being my post for 400, we hit it recently so this is it! and it’s fitting since a lot of people are waiting for this series <3 I hope you enjoy the first installment, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, my ask box, or in a reblog! & lmk if you want to be added to the taglist for this fic or my permanent one which is linked below! i hate writing the introduction to a fic and if you feel like this entire one-shot is pointless i promise it’s not 😭 there’s a lot of drama to come soon but i had to establish some things first!

i managed to make a playlist for this series! please enjoy 👩🏾‍💻

mlist; taglist; navi; | ⇦ previous | next ⇨

There are three things you hate more than anything.

Your english lit. professor

Frat parties

last, but most definitely not least, collegesluts. com and it’s founders.

It’s the literal bane of your existence, the reason why it’s so hard for you to sleep at night, and the one thing that makes your skin itch even more than the fuzzy sweaters your grandma knits every winter season.

Maybe if the creator of the site wasn’t such a douchebag, and maybe if the site users weren’t even worse, you wouldn’t abhor it as much as you did. But that’s a lot of maybes— ones that create a reality much different than your own and don’t make you feel much better.

You were first introduced to the hellsite in your second year of college— only made a year before. After you found out, age twenty hanging high over your head and no longer a fresh face in the school system, you’d tried and failed to get it shut down. Multiple times.

Happy, carefree people, would just ignore its existence— get on with their life, allow people to be college sluts in peace, but you couldn’t do that. Only you saw it for what it was, right? A sex site for college-goers to ruin their lives before it even started. Everyone else was too blissed out, a hand shoved in their pants every night as they watched their classmates fuck each other without fail. Only you could really see—

“Hello, can you hear!?”

Your eyebrows furrow at the voice behind you and your shoulders tighten when a finger pokes harshly at your skin.

“What?” You groan, rubbing the section of your arm that was unjustly abused. “Can you just be nice like a normal person?”

“Well, you’re an asshole so why would I be nice to you?”

“Fuck off Seungmin. What do you want?”

The only thing that betrays the fact that he heard you at all is the laugh that echoes behind you. Your chest tightens in response, and you fold your arms over your chest.

Kim Seungmin. A close fourth on your list of things you hate more than anything else. He was one of the users on the-site-that-must-not-be-named. A platinum member actually, a fact that always made your skin burn even in the coldest of weather. He was even friends with the site creators, and you wouldn’t doubt he had a hand in making it completely. He’d never been shy in supporting his use of the site, because nowadays regular cam sites were somehow uncool. He even had shirts with the college sluts logo in big, bold, letters. He was a part of one of the things you couldn’t stand. A big part of it even, but you ignored all that so you could call him your best— and one of your only— friends.

Kim Seungmin is first on the things you love, and that automatically removes him from the list of things you hate. When an arm slings itself across your shoulders you barely react, simply steering you both in the direction of your first class. It’s too early to deal with your best friend, and especially his toothy remarks and sarcasm, but you don’t say so and simply allow him to talk your ear off while you concern yourself with more important things.

Things like Hwang Hyunjin and Christopher Bang. The admins of College Sluts and the cause of the twitch in your brow. Sometimes the amount of hatred you felt for the two amazed you. To others, they were college boys— hotter than most, smart, talented, promiscuous. They had a good personality, a future, and were people a lot of other people got along with (and their other friends but you won’t get into that lest you pop a vessel).

To you, it’s agree to disagree. In short, they’ve got everyone totally fooled. Only sex-crazed low lifes actually managed to create a porn site. It’s one thing to think of it, sprawled around their dorm rooms knocked off their ass and barely sober, but it’s another thing to actually do it— work hard on it, execute such ideas— it’s completely baffling to you. How can no one see how perverted that is? You don’t even know what to call it, but the fire that erupts in your gut is enough to tell you that it’s bad.

There’s a bunch of girls and guys crowding around them, laughing and hugging and touching. Touching as if they were in the privacy of their home and not outside where others could see. It makes your chest heat up, and makes weird maggots swallow up your stomach, leaving a tingly feeling in its wake. You hate it. They’re demons. Sex-crazed demons.

“God, I’m starting to think you’re like anti-sex or something.”

You grunt.

“Literally we’re just walking by and you look like you’re contemplating murder.”

You hum.

“Jesus,” Seungmin sighs, shaking his head before waving over at his friends. More like his sinner acquaintances. Don’t get it wrong, you’re not overly religious or particularly shameful— despite how you might seem— but it’s something about that entire group (Seungmin sometimes included) that makes you feel like breaking something. Choking something? Crying? Screaming? You’re not sure anymore.

When you catch Hyunjin’s eye he smirks and you frown. Just the sight of him is enough to make your head hurt and your knees weak. At least, that makes sense to you. The rest of the student body? Not so much.

You hoist your bag up on your shoulder and tear your gaze away from him. Your building isn’t much farther and if you squint really hard you can pretend you don’t see Hyunjin approaching from the corner of your eye. It’s a hot day and when he sidles up to you, shoulders almost touching, it gets much hotter.

“Hey,” he greets, slapping palms with Seungmin and holding one down low for you. Your hand hesitates, almost greeting him in return before you slap his arm and send a glare his way.

“Bye,” you grit, turning your head away from him and grabbing at Seungmin’s arm. “I have somewhere to be.”

“Loosen up!” He calls, his long legs easily catching up to your fast pace. “I just wanted to say hi to my favorite girl.”

Your breath stutters the tiniest bit but you ignore it, not bothering to grant that remark an answer. Hyunjin is flirty. Too flirty. Stupid flirty. The kind of flirty that gets girls like you all riled up even when you’re supposed to be hating him, even when you’re supposed to curse the very ground he walks on, and it just makes the dreadful maggots in your system start up their annoying fluttering.

Seungmin doesn’t say anything, even when your grip on his arm tightens at a painful rate. You will your heart to stop beating so damn hard and for your entire body to stop reacting so easily to him. You don’t even know him so why does he hold so much influence over you? Someone like him? Someone who spends their time and their intelligence on a haphazard college porn site? No. No way.

“What do you want, Hyunjin?”

The devil with the long brown hair, and soft cheeks, and cute dimples takes the chance to lean close to your ear, making sure you hear whatever it is he has to say.

“Don’t be too mad at me, bug. I just wanted to tell you that you look gorgeous today.” Hyunjin pats your cheek, smiling before he leans away, turning back the way he came.

“See you later.”

And that’s that. The sex demon comes to set your cheeks ablaze and leaves once he’s done, letting you deal with your muddled feelings on your own. Once you start walking again, ignoring the stare boring into your cheeks and the confusing pounding of your heart, there’s only three words on your mind.

Fuck Hwang Hyunjin.

There are three things Hyunjin hates more than anything:

1. College

2. Back alley blowjobs

3. The frustratingly clear desire he has to fuck you silly.

Hyunjin isn’t sure when he realized it exactly. He doesn’t even know why he reacts to you so strongly. If you were anyone else he probably wouldn’t give you a second glance. He’s sure of it. Maybe it’s the desire to want something you can’t have, or the fact that you aren’t groveling at his feet.

It’s not like Hyunjin has any idea of why exactly you’re so hellbent on hating his guts, nor does he really care all that much. So you don’t like College Sluts, that’s your right as is anyone else’s, but it’s not like he’s shoving the damn shit in your face. He minds his business, manages his porn site, and does it all with a smile on his face. You, though? It’s a miracle he’s seen you smile once. And that was when he wasn’t paying attention and knocked into someone carrying a full tray of food.

Chan laughs at him all the time and so does Minho, wondering if he has some weird kink for wanting people who clearly don’t want him back, but more and more he’s thinking that isn’t the case. He’s always been bold, always been a bit flirty even when he wasn’t trying, and he knows he’s easy on the eyes. It’s not a secret, but your reaction to him isn’t one of disdain or clear attraction, but rather confusion, and that confuses him.

He flips the mic in his hands, switching between cradling it and flinging it every which way. The speakers of the karaoke system effectively drag him from his thoughts as the music gets louder and Jisung spins Felix around on their makeshift stage. Whoops and hollers echo from around them, the rest of their friends cheering at the performance in front of them. Hyunjin can’t bring himself to laugh even as a smile threatens to take hold of his features.

“Yo, what’s up with you?” Jisung plops down beside him, slinging an arm around Hyunjin's shoulders as puffs of breath leave his lips. “You’ve been sitting here brooding. What’s going on?”

“I don’t brood,” Hyunjin argues, though he maneuvers his body so he can tell Jisung exactly what has him brooding. “It’s just— I’m still thinking about Y/n.”

“Bro.”

“It doesn’t seem weird to you?”

“Weird that she’s just not interested? This is a new low, Hyunjin. Not everyone is gonna be attracted to you—”

“I know, but that’s not what I’m saying. Doesn’t her whole attitude towards us seem a bit excessive? All over a website.”

“It’s not your typical website.”

“Sung, it’s probably one of the safest porn sites out there because of how exclusive it is. No one but students here can get on it.”

“Does she know that?”

“That’s my point,” Hyunjin sighs, running a hand through his hair before starting again. “If she doesn’t even know the full details of the site, how can she possibly hate it? Hate us?”

Jisung pauses, looking back towards the stage. It’s true that all eight of them have thought about this at least once. They know there’s people who hate the website, who steer clear of it in all instances, but none who have made petitions and gone to the superintendent requesting an audience about it. No one who’s actively been so hateful to them specifically, refusing to look in their direction unless it’s to send a glare their way.

“Maybe there's another reason?” Jisung offers, sending Hyunjin a sideways glance. “I mean, maybe she just hates porn.”

Hyunjin snorts at that. How can anyone hate porn?

“You’re laughing but I’m dead serious. Has she ever even had a partner?”

“How the fuck would I know?”

“You think about her 24/7. I wouldn't be surprised if you knew what she ate for breakfast.”

“Not fucking funny.”

Jisung barks out a laugh, falling over into Hyunjin’s space. “Don’t worry, you’ll get over it soon.”

Hyunjin isn’t so sure but he nods anyway, allowing Jisung to go back to the stage for the next song. Hyunjin knocks back his drink, throat constricting barely at the bitter taste. He doesn’t care. He really doesn’t, but there’s something weird about your behavior and he’s more than determined to figure it out. Maybe he needs to just mind his business but fuck that, he thinks, no one is gonna hate him for no reason. Maybe he’s a little too riled up at that, maybe Jisung is right and this is a new low. Maybe he just really can’t deal with rejection well. Maybe.

Minho’s screeching into the mic does it’s hardest to ruin Hyunjin’s night, but the way the rest of his friends tackle him and attempt to steal the mic just makes him laugh, leaving a warm feeling in his chest. This is all he needs— his friends and a good drink to put a smile on his face. And the college porn site he worked very hard on, of course.

The group only gets through a few more songs before they decide to leave, deciding to ignore the fact that some of them have classes in six hours or that they’ll be nursing a bad headache for the entirety of it. Hyunjin is one of them. He laughs along with his friends as they walk, and he watches them from where he stands in the back.

Jisung has his phone out and is making a concerned face, typing furiously on the device. Either they’re having technical issues or his girlfriend is getting on his ass once again. Minho has an arm slung around his shoulders, laughing at whatever it is he’s typing and whoever it is that’s typing back. Next to them Felix and Jeongin have joined hands and Felix swings them back and forth, giggling as he does. Jeongin pretends he doesn’t like it, like usual, but Hyunjin notices the hint of a smile on his face. He always notices.

Chan and Changbin are quiet on either side of him, walking in the tranquil quiet that’s always rare for their group. It feels incomplete— Hyunjin wishes Seungmin could’ve come. He doesn’t know how the boy manages to be friends with the creators of the CSC and also be friends with its #1 hater. Maybe he’s selling secrets, telling you everything about the site, all its loopholes and glitches. Maybe he’s working against them now, coming up with a plan to shut them down once and for all, though Hyunjin doesn’t know if that’s possible.

Right after those thoughts trickle into his mind, he thinks about Seungmin wearing the handmade “merch” for the site, and doesn’t entertain them any longer. It would be ridiculous— even for him— to think that someone who repped college sluts like it was their brand would ever work even harder to tear it away.

The knot in his throat that’s been squeezing at his airways since earlier that night relaxes just a little. He’s never actually said this to anyone, but just as much as he thinks about why you hate him, he thinks about whether Seungmin will hate him too; about if he’ll lose a friend due to reasons he’s not even sure of. As much as he thinks about why you hate him so badly, he thinks about why he doesn’t hate you right back. He wonders why he— instead of wanting nothing to do with you— wants to know everything about you. Why he wants to understand you when you’ve made no effort to understand him, or worse, made up your own mind about who he is without even attempting to entertain the idea that maybe you’re wrong.

Hyunjin has lived his whole life suffering from other people's ideas of him, from their expectations that they held with no prior consultation with him, from the perfect picture of him in their minds that didn’t correlate with the real Hyunjin. He’s had his fair share of wondering, thinking, wanting. And it’s disappointing to see how even after all this time, since childhood, nothing has changed. He’s always wanted what he’s not allowed to have, but it’s not for lack of trying.

They don’t arrive at their frat house quick enough. As soon as the door opens into the building Hyunjin feels like falling asleep on the couch. It wouldn’t be the first time, but he’s also not sure what last happened on that couch. Between spilled drinks and sex that was too rushed to even make it to a bedroom he’d rather take his chances on an actual bed. Chan doesn’t bother to turn the lights on when he comes in, and the seven of them shuffle around each other, spilling into the living room or into the kitchen to grab drinks and snacks as if they didn’t just come back from eating.

Hyunjin knows he’s been distant all night but he can’t be bothered to care as he sends a quick good night his friends’ way and makes his way upstairs. The house holds eight other boys besides them and he’s surprised none of them are downstairs or hanging around even at the late hour. Though, Hyunjin reasons, most of them have girlfriends and the few others that don’t are seniors and probably pull all-nighters in the library or some shit.

Hyunjin doesn’t want to think about that. The year only started back up again a few months ago, he doesn’t need to be thinking about work anymore than he already does. He makes a good living even without a real job, so he’s taking shit day by day. It’s not like anyone else is much different. Most of his seniors are cramming because they were so carefree. Hyunjin doesn’t think about the implications of that either.

The softness of his bed is long overdue and his body sinks into the plush bedding. He strips off his shirt and pants, not bothering to make his way to a shower or put pajamas on or do anything really. He has five hours before he needs to wake back up and this is nothing if not a power nap that won’t help him get through any lectures the next day. Or, later that day rather.

Hyunjin doesn’t concern himself with that though, because there’s only one thing that’s on his mind when he falls asleep and when he wakes up, and that’s what he’s going to say to you tomorrow morning in the first class of the day.

The first thing you manage to think of when you wake up is how best you’re going to ignore Hyunjin today. You’ve been brainstorming, wondering which response will humble him the best, maybe make him speechless for long enough that you can get away. If only those getaways could last forever, you sigh, pulling a fitted tee over your head. It’s low-cut, makes your cleavage pop just a little bit more, and you add a necklace for that exact reason.

You’re not the sex-crazed demon that the CSC most definitely are, but you do like a little attention every now and again even if you don’t get that much action. Or any, really, and you’re just fine with that. It’s one of the reasons why you don’t like the CSC. There’s no reason to sexify everything, and that’s exactly what they do. People can get by just fine without it.

Just fine? Seungmin would probably jab, but he’s not here right now and he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. You are just fine, but the mention of the-site-that-must-not-be-named just fills your stomach with stones and ignites your nerves like nothing else does. To you, that’s more than enough proof that it’s the CSC’s fault— not yours.

Anyway, today is the day you have to see Hyunjin bright and early, which always manages to set your day off to a bad start. No one should have to deal with him at this time of day, or any time of day, and you pity the ones that do. Seeing Chan isn’t rare, but he doesn’t talk to you like Hyunjin does. He stares every now and again, gives you a lazy smirk, and is generally sexy as much as it pains you to admit it, but he doesn’t bother you. Though you know he probably talks about you. His stares are too knowing, way too insightful even when you don’t really know each other.

The rest of the boys you’ve talked to on a few occasions. They aren’t as insufferable, but they are associated with Hyunjin and Chan and are, in fact, involved in the upkeep of the-site-that-must-not-be-named. To you, that’s more than enough reason to at the least dislike them. You don’t hold soft spots for any of them, except maybe Felix who seems way too sweet to be a sex demon, but then again, it’s always the nice ones.

Besides, it doesn’t matter what they say to you or don’t say, or if they look at you or not, or if they even know you exist. It really doesn’t matter. You shake the thoughts from your head vigorously, ashamed at the fact that you spent the first hour of your morning on them. It’s unbecoming of you. It’s good to remind yourself not to actively concern yourself with any of them, and simply fight for the site’s demolition like you’ve been doing.

Seungmin says you have no life, but Seungmin also wears T-shirts with cartoonish, glittery pink boobs and the site’s name in glittery cursive letters. You don’t think Seungmin should have an opinion.

The last time you attempted to do anything about the site was roughly two months ago, a month after school started back. You took your time to settle in, fall into a routine, and get your work and classes in order before resuming your mission. It was arduous, brainstorming and juggling school work, but it was your responsibility since no one else would work hard enough.

A quick shuffle through any of your things would tell people you were a perfectionist— articulate in your placement of items and the way you did things. Even taking the time to plan certain outings to a T, determined to make sure everything goes well. It’s not a secret how obsessive you get over things and how uncomfortable or incomplete you feel when things don’t go your way, when you have to follow someone else’s idea of how things should work. It’s the reason why most people don’t get along with you because to them you’re too controlling, too compulsive and dominating.

When you were a child that fact had bothered you. It was confusing— that was just your nature, and you wouldn’t have survived your childhood without it based on the way your parents lived. When kids would shun you, treat you like something sticky at the bottom of their shoe, it hurt your young heart. You felt apologetic simply for acting the way you always felt like you should act, for doing the things that left you satisfied after. Now, in college, no one demands classmates to get along, no one can shun you in the cafeteria and force you to eat in the library. If they don’t like you it’s fine with you, frankly it doesn’t matter. You have one goal and one goal only, and once that’s over with you can move on.

When you step out of your dorm the sun is blinding, shining down with unforgiving rays of light. All you can do is squint, tilt your head down a little and wish you had a hat. The walk to the Art’s building is long, but feels longer with how warm it is. The heat shimmies its way under your clothes and into your skin, from the top of your head to the tip of your toes.

The scenery on the walk there is always breathtaking though, the pavement that makes up the pathway to the building is closed in by blades of grass that have been cut and trimmed to perfection. Rocks make up the border between them— large smooth stones that vary in size but are more or less the same oval shape. There’s an entire garden full of all types of flowers, Gardenias, Lilies, Irises, Tulips, and even some you can’t name. At the entrance of the building there are bright lights that illuminate at least 25 feet in front of it at night, and wide hedges that have been designed to look like swans, their necks curved in a way that if they were moved next to each other they’d be forming a heart. White flowers grow inside the hedges serving to make the entire scene look more beautiful, and as much as you hate walking there, the view is unmatched.

The Art building has always been your safe haven, Art in general being your home away from home. It took a long time for you to feel comfortable studying it— always caught up in the what if. What if you can’t make a living from it? What if you end up not liking it as you grow older? What if it’s not a sustainable career? Questions that still plague you often, and stop you from putting as much of your heart in it as you’d wish. These classes are somewhat self-indulgent. A way for you to escape from the hectic mess that is your life, away from the stress of work, from the anxiety of what comes next, and from the infuriating instances that continue without your control— away from the things you can’t control so you can run to things you can. So imagine your horror when you found out Hwang Hyunjin was in the same class as you. At the same time. Doing the same thing.

It felt like your escape wasn’t yours anymore, and that the stress from your day followed you everywhere you went. It wasn’t enough for Hyunjin to pester you often— he had to be everywhere you were too.

You take a deep breath to calm your nerves, setting your shoulders and regain the poise you take pride in– carrying yourself with the confidence you wish you had. It doesn’t take long for you to make your way to the entrance of the building, as you walk, having been kissed by the scorching light of the sun and brushed against by dewy blades of grass. It feels surreal and staggering to be outside alone so early in the morning, yet peaceful, for you know that it will be long before you get this chance again.

“Bug!”

Oh no. no no no. You walk faster, hoping to make it inside before Hyunjin can catch up to you. Hyunjin is never this early. He either comes right on time or late to the frustration of your teachers and peers although no one would ever say it to his face. You can hear his feet against the pavement louder and louder as he comes closer to you, catching up just when you take the first step up the stairs to the entrance.

“You didn’t hear me, bug?”

“Stop calling me bug.”

“Sorry, bug,” Hyunjin laughs, putting a heavy arm over your shoulders and bringing you closer.

You roll your eyes so hard it feels like they’re gonna stick. Maybe they should so you don’t ever have to see Hyunjin again. Maybe he’d think you look scary like that, your eyes rolled up forever. Maybe then he’d leave you alone.

Hyunjin is annoying. He always acts like you’re his friend, but you know it’s fake because why would he want to be friends with you, someone who hates everything he works hard on and hates him as well to an extent. It seems overly fake and forced to you, so you don’t ever entertain it. The last thing you need is to fall for it and then be made out to look like an idiot when he eventually embarrasses you.

“It’s too early.”

“It’s never too early, pretty.”

“It’s always too early to be dealing with you,” You groan, wrenching his arm away from where it laid over your shoulders. “Why are you talking to me?”

“Why not?” Hyunjin asks, seemingly unaffected by your attitude towards him. He shoves his hands in his pockets, his shoulders raised up to his chin in a shrug. “I like talking to you.”

You snort, looking up at him with eyebrows raised, “You like talking to me, the one person— possibly in this world— who absolutely hates you, and barely spares you the time of day?” You ask, tilting your head in mock confusion. “I’m sure this is the longest we’ve ever had a conversation, but nice try.” You squeeze his cheeks, hard, and when he swats your hand away you can’t help the giggle that you let out. If his cheeks felt like dough under your fingers you’re choosing to ignore that, wiping a hand on your jeans with way more intensity than needed.

“But see,” Hyunjin starts again, “We’re having a conversation right now and neither of us wanna choke each other.”

“Speak for yourself. I’m barely resisting the urge to punt your head like a baseball.”

It’s silent for a moment before you both burst out into a fit of giggles. Hyunjin braces himself against his knees as he laughs, his hair falling over his face as he does, and you’re not much better— staggering where you stand to laugh with him. It only takes a few seconds for you both to calm down, and slowly the reality of what happened catches up to you.

“Do you even punt baseballs?” Hyunjin snorts, and you just laugh harder.

“I don’t know, Hyunjin, if you haven’t noticed I’m at the arts building not sports.” You wheeze, fighting through another laugh. “Now I’m just imagining your head flying over the gardens.”

Hyunjin lets out another chuckle but shivers a bit at the thought. He waits for you to calm down, your giggles turning into small huffs. A hint of a smile still remains on your cheeks, and the sun shines down so strongly on your features it feels like he’s seeing an angel— like divinity right in front of his eyes. When you straighten up, he can see every movement. The way you position your bag upright, the way a bit of your gums poke out from your lips. Your lips, soft, glossy, and look the most perfect in a smile. He can see the way your eyebrows lose the tension from your laughing fit, the way the crinkle of your eyes lessen as your face relaxes. He can see everything, so he can also see when your lips fall back into a firm line, when your eyebrows go back to that angry stance they always hold when you’re around him. The way your shoulders stiffen, and the grip on your bag tightens. He can see everything, and he reminds himself the only time you laugh is when he’s the butt of the joke.

“I’m going to class,” You murmur, walking the rest of the way up the stairs and into the building without looking back or waiting for him to respond. Though Hyunjin wonders what he would’ve even said.

I’ll come with you.

We can sit together.

No, you both can’t do anything together, and more and more Hyunjin wonders why he even wants to.

“You were laughing with Hwang Hyunjin? The sex demon??” Your friend hisses from next to you, stringing a lock of hair behind her ear. “You?”

“Yes, me, Jieun.” You huff. “I can barely believe it either. What did he do to me? I hate him, I can’t show weakness by laughing around him.”

“Honey,” Jieun laughs, leaning towards you, “You can laugh. Honestly the fact that you ran away after is hilarious.”

“I didn’t run away.”

“You ran away.”

“I didn’t run.”

Jieun settles on you with a heavy stare, face slack, and you roll your eyes. “Fine, I walked away.”

“I don’t know how either of you take each other seriously.”

“I don’t take him seriously.”

“Yeah you do, babe. You refuse to laugh around him. That’s very serious.”

You snort.

“And the fact that he gives you the time of day when this is the dumbest feud possible… I just don’t understand it.”

“It’s not dumb.” You sputter, smoothing your hand over the glossy wooden desk of the classroom. “It’s…” You trail off, staring into the large windows at the side of the room. You cock your head and lean forward, jaw slack when the sex demon himself waves outside. “Oh what a stalker.” You growl, throwing up the middle finger in his direction. “He’s got his little posse following him too.”

When Jieun makes to wave back you smack the back of her head and groan when she gives you an affronted look.

“What was that for?” Jieun exclaims, bringing a hand up to rub against the back of her head.

“Don’t fraternize with the enemy,” You hiss, folding your arms over your chest and staring back at your professor.

“Are you gonna explain the feud—”

“No.”

In your opinion, class doesn’t end quickly enough. You split with Jieun at the entrance, the both of you going in opposite directions, and attempt to reorder your frazzled mind. So you laughed. A lot of people laugh at people they hate. Plus, he laughed too— so why should you be overthinking it? You’ve laughed before, in situations you weren’t supposed to, and this is no different. Now you just need to make sure it never happens again. You nod to yourself as you walk, pulling out your phone to make sure Seungmin is already at the meeting spot.

The sun is still just as ruthless as it was earlier, but a light breeze grazes your skin and rustles the trees along the sidewalk and in the field in front of you. There’s a bunch of picnic tables, some occupied and some of them not. There’s groups of friends sitting under trees, some couples, some of them alone; reading or completing assignments in the nice weather. You spot Seungmin a few tables down, a brown sweater over a collared shirt and cute glasses perched upon his nose.

You take your time walking to the table, letting your skin soak in the warmth and tranquil peace of nature. When Seungmin spots you he shuffles over, giving you some space to sit next to him and you do, mumbling a small hey before knocking your head against the table.

“You’re going to a party with me.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Seungmin… Hi, how are you? How was your day? No, I’m not.”

“I wasn’t asking.”

“Well, unless you’re going to drag me, no I’m not.”

“I just might,” Seungmin sighs, “Why are you so difficult?”

“Difficult? You’re the one being difficult. I don’t want to go and you’re telling me it’s not a choice.”

“Because it’s not.”

You let out a groan, a long torturous one that has people turning their head to a straight faced Seungmin and you who’s head is still knocked against the table. When people think it’s stopped it starts all over again, a guttural groan filled with displeasure and frustration that loosens your chest when it’s done.

“Are you done?”

“Leave me alone.”

“It’s on Saturday. I can pick you up.” Seungmin says instead of arguing.

“Today’s Thursday.” You whine, just stopping yourself from letting out another groan— one that wouldn’t ever stop for as long as you have to deal with Kim Seungmin and his annoying, snarky, bossy self.

“…. I’m aware.” Seungmin says, and you don’t even have to look at him to know he’s making a face like and so what?

“I can’t stand you, I hope you know that. No type of warning, no preparation… I don’t party. I need at least two weeks to mentally prepare myself and another two weeks to get an outfit.”

“Damn.” Seungmin says, but he rubs a hand against your back, lightly pushing you to lift your head from the table. “Listen, I’ll help you. And it’s being thrown by people I know so you don’t have to worry. I don’t think many people throw college parties a month in advance but I’ll keep that in mind.”

All you can do is nod, waiting patiently as Seungmin finishes whatever assignment he’s working on. You’ve already completed the ones you have, the pro of not having much else to do and being on top of things always. Everyday you both meet up here, either at a table or under one of the trees and talk. Read, finish assignments, or even eat snacks. There have been some times where you meet there and then go somewhere else together, rarely off campus but it happens, and you get something to eat or go on a mini adventure. It’s the highlight of your day and you’re sure it is for Seungmin too, but you’d never admit that to each other. You don’t have to, though, because you’re both always on the same wavelength especially when it counts the most.

Though now he’s given you something else to worry about, that being this sudden party. It’s no doubt being held by a frat house, and you have an inkling which house it is. You haven’t asked, trying not to pop the bubble of secureness that surrounds you. You can go to a party being held by the CSC. You can, and you will, and if it isn’t being held by them then that’s even better. You try to convince yourself you really don’t care at all, but the thought remains. Can you really enjoy yourself at a party being held by them? You don’t know why it bothers you so much or why you feel so uncomfortable having a good time around them, but you just keep repeating the same thing to yourself over and over. It doesn’t matter.

“Jieun told me what happened this morning.”

“Of course she did.” You sigh, staring ahead at the group of squirrels running up a tree. The people under it startle when leaves start to fall over their heads. “We just left each other, how did she find the time to text you all that?”

“She called me,” Seungmin cackles, braces on full display as he scribbles furiously into his notebook. “Every story I hear about you and Hyunjin is against my will.”

“Every interaction between me and Hyunjin is against my will,” You counter, shifting so that you face him. “What did she say?”

“That you laughed with him and it embarrassed you. That you’re confused about your feelings towards him.”

“So are you two my therapists now? I’m not confused. I don’t like the things he does— I don’t like his carefree attitude, how he has no problem talking to me like we’re friends. I don’t like- No, I hate the fact that so many people fucking praise him because he created some crude porn site.”

Your heart rate picks up, your hand gripping at your jeans as a poor attempt to conceal your growing frustration. “I don’t like the fact that no one else sees what’s wrong with it. We shouldn’t have a fucking porn site for college students? I don’t think we should know what we all look like under our clothes and I’m tired of everyone acting like I'm the crazy one. He’s the perverted one, the weird one. Who the fuck thinks of something like that? It’s not just him, it’s all of them.”

Seungmin ponders your words, the grip on his pen tightening ever so slightly. “Hyunjin is a good guy. All of them are, and if that’s how you feel then why do you talk to me? I use the site, I'm their friend, I’ve helped them out when making it. Aren’t I weird and perverted too?”

You sigh, “Seungmin…”

“Help me understand. Because if you can stand to be around me, then why can’t you be around them? Or try.”

“It isn’t the same and you know it. It’s easy to ignore it when it’s you. That’s them. They are the CSC to me. A reminder of everything I hate, what I want to get rid of.”

“But why the hell does it matter? People want to use the site and that’s why they do. No one is fucking forcing it.”

“You guys just don’t understand it. None of you do. It’s like you’re blinded by it or something.”

“We’re grown adults, Y/N,” Seungmin growls, “We don’t need you to be a guardian fucking angel.”

“Don’t make me out to be the bad guy, just because all you fucking care about is sex or some college sluts, like can you actually be that shallow?”

“Why is it so hard for you to see reason? Do you see how angry you’re getting at me for asking a simple question? You asked me what Jieun said and I told you.” Seungmin spits, shutting his book with a slam.

“Stop asking me about that site. Stop making me seem like some confused hateful person just because you’re too dense to understand where I’m coming from. I’m not confused, I know exactly how I feel. I try not to bring it up because you like the damn thing so much, and you can’t seem to hold the same courtesy for me.” You stand from the seat, settling a dark glare at Seungmin’s angered form.

“Fuck your friends, fuck that site. Stop talking about me like I need guidance.”

You’re not irrational. You’re not. You have every right to be angry. Seungmin is your friend. Jieun is your friend. They’re supposed to be there for you, not gang up on you. You feel alone, so alone in everything you fight for, in everything you aim to conquer— as if the things you stand for don’t matter. It reminds you of middle school all over again, of high school— having people look at you like you were something from another planet. Someone people had always failed to understand. It’s lonely. You’re not irrational.

You didn’t blow up. You’re not angry. You’re frustrated, yes, but you don’t blow up. You don’t get mad. You aren’t irrational. Anyone else in your position would feel the same, right? Anyone else would be upset because it feels like your friends always take the side of the people you despise more than anyone else. Why aren’t they on your side? Why don’t they believe you? Why don’t they understand? It makes you feel stupid. It makes you feel like you have no right to feel the way you do. It’s lonely.

You’ve never been irrational. You’ve always had a good grip on your feelings. Always. And when it feels like the grip loosens it’s always the cause of something relating to the CSC. It’s proof that it’s what the root of your problems is. It’s proof that the CSC needs to be gone so you can finally go back to normal. So you don’t feel like the odd one out. So you don’t have to feel so upset. Because you’re not irrational. You have every right to feel this way. You don’t get mad. You’re not angry. You don’t blow up.

You control everything, you control your actions, your emotions, and you make sure to hold control over your environment— of how things play out for every second of your life. This feels like it’s running out of control. That the CSC brings havoc in your life no matter what— even when you try to ignore it, it comes running back to fuck you over even further. You’re not irrational. You’re not confused. You don’t get mad. You don’t. You don’t blow up. You control everything.

The sun hides right when you need it. You pretend tears don’t blur your vision, you pretend that the suddenly gloomy environment doesn’t affect you the way it does. You pretend that the once comforting breeze doesn’t feel sharp against your exposed skin. You pretend because when things run out of control that’s all you can do. Pretend you’ve got it handled, pretend that you still have a grip on things, pretend that you understand. You’re not irrational. You have every right to feel this way.

You never argue with Seungmin. Playful bickering from time to time or you two being rude to each other but always playfully. You’ve never cursed at him so maliciously, spoken to him like he was someone random, as if he wasn’t your best friend. You’ve never done those things— but you do when the CSC is involved. You never get pissed at Jieun, even when she’s annoying, even when she acts like the only thing important in life is the new boy she’s talking to— You don’t get mad. You’re not mad now, but you’re something. Something fiery, and everything always goes back to the CSC. You’re not irrational. You’re just the only one who understands.

Right when you see the blurry form of your dorm building it gets blocked by a large body and you slam right into its chest. You can barely see in front of you and you know your face is screwed up into the worst form imaginable, tears falling with no control. Without your control.

“Sorry, excuse me,” You laugh wetly, sidestepping whoever is blocking your way and running up the steps to your dorm. The sooner you fall into your bed and cry this out, the sooner you can forget about it. The sooner you can apologize and move past this weird limbo of feelings. It feels like purgatory, stuck in the in between, not sure which direction you’ll end up going in. It’s full of unsureness, of frustration. It feels like a loss of control. It angers you, makes you feel like nothing is going right.

But you don’t get angry. You’re not irrational. You don’t get mad. You pretend, because that’s all you can do.

Hyunjin is confused.

The last thing he expected to see this morning was you laughing, but now, he realizes the last thing he ever expected to see was you crying. Eyes glossy with tears, a nose rubbed raw, face screwed up into something pitiful.

Hyunjin doesn’t know a lot of things. He doesn’t expect a lot of things, but most of all he doesn’t know how to continue after seeing it. He doesn’t expect to care so much, not after the way you’ve regarded him. After the way you’ve both regarded each other. He doesn’t know why he can’t walk away and say nothing when he knows he should. If he brings it up you’ll get defensive, be embarrassed, be angry. He shouldn’t say anything.

He keeps walking, frowning slightly at the gloomy clouds. It was so sunny less than an hour ago. Things change so quickly, it doesn’t make any sense. He thinks back to earlier that morning, the light that shone on your face with every laugh you let out. He thinks back to just a few seconds ago. How dark shadows fell over your face as tears ran down your cheeks.

The walk is more automatic than anything else. He doesn’t take the time to stare at the scenery, he doesn’t look at the people around him. He barely sees the ground in front of him as he walks, his mind not registering what’s right in front of his face. He’s too caught up in you. Like usual, wondering why you do the things you do, why you feel the way you feel, wanting to understand. What did he do? What can he do to make you feel better? How can he make you hate him any less? He wants to understand, he wants to listen, to talk to you, to be near you. It confuses him.

His phone vibrates, pulling him from his thoughts. It’s chan, texting about the party on Saturday, and he sighs, running a hand through his hair in frustration. He’s so tired, tired of running around for parties, tired of attending to the site, tired of waking up early for classes. He just wants a second to sit down and relax, to not worry about you ruining the one thing he’s worked hard for, to not worry about what class he’s flunking, about what party he’s expected to attend, to not worry about why you were crying in the middle of the afternoon. He just wants a moment to collect his thoughts and free his mind.

HJ: I got it

BC: alr cool, put it in the cabinet with the lock, you know how Hyunjoon gets

HJ: Fuck, is it that bad?

BC: he’s an alcoholic bud, it’s that bad.

Hyunjin laughs a little, stuffing his phone back into his pocket. He wonders if Seungmin told you about the party yet and grimaces, wondering if that’s the reason why you were crying. If it is, he’s not sure who needs to get a grip. You, for hating him so bad, or him for continuing to try and get you not to. It takes a lot of effort for him to continue the power walk back to the frat, but he arrives sooner than later, stuffing the bag of drinks inside the cabinet and locking it shut. He thinks it’s a bit ridiculous that they have to lock the alcohol up as if they have small kids running around, and also wonders the effectiveness when Hyunjoon lives in a frat house and is an adult who can buy his own alcohol.

It’s Thursday afternoon but he finds that he’s not as excited for a party as he should be. Usually, he’d be bouncing on his heels, counting down the hours for it to start, and realizing he’s so caught up in everything else going around he doesn’t feel that normal excitement that he so often does. He makes sure to fix that, shaking the unnecessary thoughts from his head, pushing responsibilities to later. He has a party to prepare for and he's gonna act like it.

The rest of the boys don’t get back till later— they’d given Hyunjin the responsibility of buying cups and drinks and shitty snacks while they went off somewhere else. Hyunjin can’t keep track of what they do especially if he’s not joining, so he focuses on doing what he’s supposed to in order to make this the best party of the year so far. His frat has always held the record of best parties— has always held their winnings in high regard as well, and he’ll be damned if he gets the cold shoulder if he’s the reason the party isn’t as good as it should be. Most of all, he’s thinking about what he’s gonna do during it.

Hyunjin is not shy on having sex— never has been, never will be, and more often than not he’s having it. Sure, that may be expected since he made a literal porn site, but Jisung also had a hand in it and he has a girlfriend. Felix doesn’t have one-night stands often, nor does Seungmin. It’s different for all of them.

He knows there’s a few girls that have been actively trying to get in his pants, knows that he’s been trying to get into theirs, but he can only hope he can focus on them for long enough to do so without thinking about you. If you come, he knows that there’s no chance he’ll think of anything else, and he’ll probably spend the entire night just getting you to laugh again. To get you to explain to him why. why why why. It’s confusing, but he pretends it doesn’t matter.

Thursday comes and goes too quickly, and Friday does as well. The day isn’t over yet, it’s only the afternoon, but the implications of that make you anxious. Make your nerves ignite far more than they should.

Seungmin didn’t answer your calls for the rest of that Thursday. Didn’t read or respond to a single text until you decided to leave him alone. Jieun called, but you didn’t answer. You think the way you felt towards her is the way Seungmin felt towards you. Maybe something worse, so you gave him space and took some for yourself, a moment to really think about what made you react the way you did. You don’t think you’re in the wrong, you still don’t think you could’ve reacted any other way and you’re not sure what that says about you.

You take another bite of your sandwich as you walk down the street from the Art store, your phone cradled in your other hand and a drink poking out from the opening in your bag. It’s hard to mentally prepare for things that you don’t know anything about. You don’t know where the party is, who’s hosting it, how long you’re expected to stay. Thought that’s if you’re even still going. You want to take Seungmin’s silence as an answer that no, you aren’t, but you also don’t want to assume that and then he shows up at your door and you’re not ready.

You don’t want to go, not at all, but if it made Seungmin happy then you would. If he didn’t come to pick you up you briefly entertained finding your own way to the party and cornering him, forcing him to hear your apology before leaving and soaking your pillow with tears. But you don’t know where the party is. You also briefly entertained the idea of calling Jieun and asking her, but you’re not interested in the lecture that would come from that. You still don’t appreciate her words about you to Seungmin and the implication of them. Seungmin is your friend, you can tell him what happened all by yourself. You don't need Jieun to play messenger.

You swallow the last of your lunch and throw the wrapper in the nearest trash can. You want to start a new painting, one that can unleash the frustrations of your life as it is right now, and you can only do that by getting some new supplies. You save up constantly for this exact reason— for the ability to buy whatever your heart desires whenever it desires it. You dip your toes into whatever interests you, and all concepts of Art satisfies you more than anything. Writing whatever you desire, taking pictures of the things you find beautiful, painting whatever you want— it gives you the control that fuels you more than anything else.

The art shop by your university is quaint, always quiet and never very full, yet always filled with high quality supplies and fully stocked. You’ve made friends with the old lady who owns it and her daughter, constantly going there just to buy something in order to catch up with them on whatever has happened since your last visit. They’re like the mother and sister you never had, people who feel more like family than your own. It’s partly for that reason that you’ve made the trek there, hoping to get some advice for the things you’ve been feeling before going to the party that’s undoubtedly being held by the one group of people you despise.

The bells above the door jingle when you step in, and you let the smell of paint, chalk, crayons, pens, and faint air freshener soothe you. It’s just as cluttered as it’s always been— stacks upon stacks of sketchbooks and canvases on one side situated next to the easels and small desks. The paints have a section of their own, oil, watercolor, acrylic, matte, and more— on the opposite side there’s pens and crayons, colored pencils, oil pastels, and sharpeners of all shapes and sizes.

The walls are covered in paint as if before bringing in all the items they’d had fun splattering the walls in color. It’s messy, unruly, cluttered, and barely organized— so it doesn’t make sense to you why it comforts you so much. When you see a small form hobble out from behind a stack of books a smile forms unbiddenly on your face, and the small old lady smiles back.

“I missed you, dear,” She scolds, wrapping you up in a hug. “It’s been too long since you’ve come to visit.”

“I know, I’ve just been busy Ms. Yang. I missed you.” You sigh, rubbing your nose in the soft fabric of her sweater. She smells like paint and flowers— she smells like home.

“Sam will be here soon, she’d love to see you.”

“Yeah, that’d be nice. I need to talk to her too.”

“I can tell, child. You look stressed.” She sighs, shuffling behind the counter and sitting on one of the other seats behind it. “Get what you’re looking for,” She says waving a hand dismissively towards you.” I won’t make you explain it twice.”

You huff lightheartedly, making your way over to the canvases and picking one of medium proportions. You’re still not sure what it is you want to paint, but you know whatever you’re feeling is strong enough that you grab Oil paint, needing something rich and vibrant and something sharper to contrast the muddled and cloudy image of your mind.

It’s before long that you settle on a brand you normally buy, and the set of bells signal someone’s arrival into the shop. You turn your head, expecting to see Sam and her long curly hair, beautiful in its volume and her tawny brown skin, but instead you’re greeted with the sight of straight brown hair, swept behind the ears of a tall man, a mole under his eye and the reason for all your problems. You don’t know why you react the way you do, but with your items cradled in your hand you sprint behind a large stack of sketchbooks and hold your breath, staring with wide eyes at the cans of paint at your feet.

What the fuck is Hwang Hyunjin doing at your shop? This is your safe place— your safe haven. A part of you curses the ground he walks on, hopes that the store is too messy and cluttered for his liking, prays that he proves he’s as shallow as the company he keeps and that he leaves and doesn’t come back. Another part of you hates yourself for being so ridiculous. For letting your personal feelings about him delve so far that you’d think something like that. Sam and Mrs.Yang deserve the business, deserve the money, deserve the customers. You shouldn’t hope for anything different— but it still amazes you how he never fails to intrude on the things you hold dear. To intrude on the things you want to keep to yourself.

You don’t move from the spot you’re in. It could’ve been ten minutes, an hour, even, or maybe it was only thirty seconds, but you only peek out when you hear Sam’s voice ring through the shop. You survey the room, stepping out from your hiding spot when you confirm that Hyunjin is nowhere to be found. Though, you don’t think you could’ve hid regardless by the way Sam calls your name.

“Hi, Sammy,” You smile, coming up to pull her into a hug. She grips you tightly, her kinky hair tickling your cheek and her clothes smelling faintly of vanilla and roses. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, hun,” Sam smiles, albeit a little sadly as she looks over your face. “What’s wrong?”

“Hey, don’t leave a poor old lady out,” Mrs. Yang huffs, “Come over here and tell us both about it.”

Without even saying anything they’ve already cheered you up, your steps feeling lighter as you make your way behind the counter and sit on one of the three seats. You sit between them both, their eyes set patiently but concerningly on you.

“I don’t know, really,” You start, and then, you tell them. About your argument with Seungmin, about how lonely it is feeling like you’re the only one feeling this way, about how much the site angers you— how it makes you feel. You tell them about Hyunjin, about how he doesn’t stop bothering you no matter how much you make it obvious you don’t want his company. How much that frustrates you, as well, and about how the lack of control over the entire situation, and over the CSC’s place in your life makes you uncomfortable, and about how the CSC itself makes you feel things you’ve never felt before and how much that scares you. You can barely describe the way it does, and who else can you blame besides its creators.

When you’re done it feels like you’ve vented a lifelong event, it makes a heavy weight lift itself off your shoulders and the heavy silence that remains doesn’t feel like judging, but rather them trying to understand— soaking up the meaning of every word you said in an attempt to place themselves in your shoes.

“I think,” Sam starts, “That your cluelessness about your feelings towards the site in general turns into anger, and the fact that the boy,”

“Hyunjin”, You offer.

“Yes, I think his attempts at speaking to you only worsen it somehow, like you’re being cornered by this weird feeling that you don’t understand and it makes you even angrier.”

“You said your friend is a part of it?” Mrs.Yang interjects, a wrinkly hand kneading your shoulder.

“Yeah,” You murmur, “He’s good friends with the group and he loves the website.”

“That probably doesn’t help then,” She continues, “If you’re surrounded by people who know what they like or enjoy something you don’t like or don’t understand, of course you’re going to feel angry. You feel like the odd one out.”

“I think more than anything you need to figure out if it’s really anger you’re feeling, and if the only reason why you hate this website is not because of its purpose but because of your lack of control over it.” Sam finishes.

“I can’t say I agree with it either,” Mrs.Yang grunts, “It’s not something I think college students need to be worrying about. Things like that stick with you, but it’s their choice to indulge in it, Y/n, you can’t control that.”

You sigh. You guess so, but you still feel like you need to get rid of it. You’ve been slacking, not paying attention to it as much as you should because of all the chaos it’s creating. It’s been a while since you’ve done a petition or made a list of ideas as an attempt to shut it down, but for now it seems like enough to just hate it. They can’t change your mind. Not Seungmin, not Sam, not Jieun, not Mrs.Yang, not Chan or Changbin or Minho— not any of them, and especially not Hyunjin. You just want to be hateful in peace and you don’t know why you don’t seem to be allowed to do that.

You leave the shop feeling lighter, but also like you didn’t actually get any good advice. Sure they validated your feelings, but that’s it. You’ve been trying to figure out your feelings. You know why you’re frustrated, and even though it felt good to be validated it also felt like a waste. You hold the bag of art supplies closer to you as you walk. The sun is setting, painting the sky reds, and oranges, and purples— and you think maybe you’ll paint that. To represent the end of the turmoil that surrounds you, as something hopeful.

You relish in the soft slope of your shoulders, in the relaxation you so rarely feel nowadays, and walk briskly to your dorm so you can fall into your bed and try to forget about the fact that there’s a party you’re supposed to be at tomorrow.

And as if the thought brought it on, your phone buzzes in your pocket. You pull it out quicker than you’d ever admit and a relieved smile pulls on your lips when you see it’s from Seungmin.

pup: be ready by 9

you: ok!!!!!

you: i miss you

There’s no more responses but you don’t let that dampen your mood. He still wants you to go with him and that says enough. You do feel terrible about the way you acted— the way you’ve been acting— but you know it’s justified. You’re not irrational. Not at all.

If you collapse at the foot of your bed, art supplies sitting on the floor by your feet, and a paper by your head titled #686, no one has to know.

This Saturday has not been a day of relaxation for you. You didn’t have any plans, though instead of enjoying the peace you so rarely received, the day consisted of you running around your room with a frazzled energy following behind like a ghost. At first you contemplated showing up in a sweater and jeans; no makeup, no jewelry, just you and a lazy fit— but realized that would only bring you even more stares than if you dressed as slutily as possible.

It’s with a black leather mini skirt and a black, lacy, low cut long sleeve tucked inside that you finally allow yourself to relax. You’re probably dressed way too flashily for a college party, but you can’t entertain any thoughts like that or you’ll spend the next three hours obsessing over it— and that’s three hours that you don’t have. Knee length boots stare at you from the door and it’s with a sigh that you walk to the door and put them on.

There’s more reasons to be nervous than just the party, between the inevitable walk with Seungmin to the encounter you’re most definitely going to have with the CSC and all of its users, you’re out of your element. There’s not enough deep breaths to make you calm down, there’s no method available to help clear your mind. Your heart races much more than should be healthy. It feels like hell, even, and all you can do is let this plethora of nerves run its course.

When your phone buzzes with Seungmin’s ‘I’m outside’ text, it almost feels like your heart stops. Fuck, Seungmin’s gonna ask who you’re all dressed up for, gonna ask why you’re so nervous. Why are you all dressed up? Why are you even going? It’s too much, too much of not knowing, not understanding, not feeling right. What will it take to get you to feel right? Like in freshman year when your biggest worry was whether or not you were passing your classes, now it feels like that's a lifetime ago. Like you’ve encountered way too much to even consider anything like that— not that you need to worry about it anyway. It was supposed to be a carefree year for you. You’re always on top of your responsibilities, always prepared, and nothing ever changed that until you went on that site for the first and last time.

You stop, relax your shoulders, take a deep breath that’s otherwise pointless, and step out the door. You curse the day you ever went on that website. It’s why everything is all messed up now, but you rid those thoughts from your mind. You’re determined to have fun tonight no matter what, and no matter who’s there.

Seungmin waits at the door, A button-down hanging off his shoulders and jeans. His hair is combed back and he’s ditched the glasses.

“Hey.” It comes out meeker than you’d like, a little too timid for what your relationship with Seungmin is.

“Hey,” he smiles, the braces you love so much on full display. Your best friend is beautiful, and it’s with a pang to your chest, it’s with seeing him now— so welcoming and so normal with you— that a small part of you realizes maybe you have been being irrational. Maybe you have been acting too strongly, but then you remind yourself that you’ve never been irrational. Never.

“So I’m guessing we’re going to the CSC’s dorm?”

“You’ll fit right in,” Seungmin laughs, starting to walk. You struggle to catch up to him; it’s been so long since you last wore heels that it’s hard to get used to. You don’t grace his comment with an answer, simply relishing in the soft nightly breeze and the shine of the moon. The stars glitter from above you, light years away yet so visible. So sure of their stance in life. You don’t think stars blow up at their best friends, or feel confused, or feel lonely.

You arrive at the party all too soon. From a block away you could see people drunk, staggering in the same direction, and from down the street you could hear the bass of the music, but the warning signs weren’t nearly enough to prepare you for the actual sight of it. It’s like the typical house parties you’d see on TV, but louder and more nerve-wracking. People hang out in front, the music loud enough for them to enjoy even from outside the building. Lights flash from behind the window, an array of purples, greens, reds, and blues. You can see people's shadows from behind the curtains over the front windows, and you feel like you’re about to throw up.

“Oh god,” You mumble, taking a few shaky steps inside. You can't do this. You’re gonna freak out and embarrass yourself. You can almost feel the anxiety seeping from your pores, and the word no repeats over and over in your head like a mantra.

No no no no no.

You can’t do this, but you do it anyway. Stepping inside the party is a feat in itself, and you can’t tell if your hands are shaking from the strong bass of the music or because of pure anxiety. The music knocks into your body so strongly that your knees buckle, barely able to hold you upright. At any moment you feel like you might collapse.

You can’t do it but you do it anyway, taking one step and then another, and when the door closes behind you, you resist the urge to turn back and run away. The party is full of people— so full that it’s impossible to walk anywhere without bumping into someone, and despite your best efforts you do get stares. Whether it’s because of what you’re wearing or if it’s because it’s you at a party being held by the CSC… you’re not entirely sure. You don’t think it makes a difference. You try to ignore it, act unbothered, and it must work because after a while they look away, murmuring something or the other about what you’re doing there.

Seungmin drags you away from the door and to the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge and cabinets like it’s his home. You take in the somewhat chill vibe of the kitchen compared to everywhere else. It’s not nearly as full, but there are couples at opposite ends acting as if it isn’t a place where food is kept.

You take a few deep breaths, reassure yourself that you can do this, and even if you can’t you’ll do it anyway. Seungmin doesn’t say anything, just pours you something sweet and fruity in a red cup and hands it over with a raise of his eyebrows. You drink it way too quickly and you know you’re gonna regret it later, but you need the effect it’ll bring. The faux calmness that’ll help you get through the night. Though with how full the party is you think that you won’t be able to see the hosts anytime soon if at all, and that’s enough to bring your heart to a stuttering stop before it resumes its beating in a much more slow paced manner. You’re still not calm, but you’re doing your best.

“Try to relax,” Seungmin chides, his gaze heavy where it bores into you. “Everything will be just fine.”

You nod, taking a more calculated sip of your drink this time. You let the music relax you instead of startle you— focusing on the beats and the melody— on the lyrics, instead of the volume and how it makes your body tremble. You can do this.

When you finally feel like you’re able to relax, Seungmin parts from you, saying there’s some people he has to see. You’re an adult, so you can handle being alone for a few minutes. Eventually, though, the few minutes turn into something longer. You wonder if maybe Seungmin is still upset with you— you didn’t speak much about it on the walk like you thought you would. Honestly, it was mostly silence, and you didn’t think much of it before but you are now. You hold your drink close to your chest, dubbing it your life line for the night.

You last all of thirty minutes before you feel like you’re getting too hot— the building only gets even more stuffy as more people arrive, all of you packaged like a can of sardines. You take the fleeting burst of confidence to leave the kitchen and go to the backyard, hoping that it’ll be a bit more peaceful (as peaceful as possible considering the music blasting), and allow the fresh air to graze your skin like a soft blanket. You sit down on one of the benches in the backyard, leaning your head back and closing your eyes. What will it take to feel at peace? Maybe there’s nothing you can do. And it’s with these thoughts that you do exactly what you shouldn’t do at a party, wallowing in self pity and confusion. You’re so caught up in these thoughts that you don’t notice when someone else joins you.

“Hey, bug.”

Your head whips up faster than what’s comfortable, and you barely hide the wince that struggles to leave your lips. Hyunjin speaks again before you can respond.

“Don’t leave, alright. Please?” He asks, sitting down beside you and smoothing his hands over his pants. “Can we talk?”

“About?”

“About us? About you? I’m tired of running in circles and I want to know why you hate me— the CSC so much.”

You’re silent for a moment, contemplating, thinking. You should get up, leave the backyard and this party altogether. You should ignore whatever it is Hyunjin has to say because he’s the reason for all this, right? Why is he always pretending he doesn’t know; acting like he wants to get to know you? Acting like it really matters how you feel. Everyone wants to understand, everyone wants to know why, but you don’t even know— but you’ll never admit it outright. You’ll never say the one thing that’s been your driven principle for the past year is something you’re unsure about. All you know is that it’s bad, that it’s made you feel ways that were foreign to you, and in order to regain control you need to get rid of it. No matter how anyone else feels about it, no matter who gets upset with you along the way. You need to do it.

Your voice is soft, but not meek. For once, you’re gonna get this entire experience off your chest. “When I first went on the site in the beginning of freshman year I was curious,” You start, glancing at Hyunjin and feeling the tightness in your chest return when you realize he’s already looking at you. “At first, I was curious, and then I was confused. I clicked on a few videos— I scrolled for a while— and I started to get this weird feeling. The more I watched the videos, the more I scrolled through pictures and posts, the feeling got stronger.”

You feel so stupid, but you continue. If Hyunjin makes fun of you he’s just proving your assumptions correct. “I’d never felt that way before and honestly, it kinda scared me, and it was annoying that I didn’t understand it. I didn’t do anything after that. I ignored how fast my heart was beating, how my body was reacting, and never went on that site again. Slowly, that confusion turned into anger— it’s not normal. The way I felt wasn’t normal, and that’s why I think that site needs to get shut down.”

“Bug…” Hyunjin laughs a little and you want to be offended, but you can tell it’s more shock than amusement. “Bug have you ever had sex? Or.. touched yourself at all?”

Your mouth opens and closes comically, but Hyunjin is patient, waiting and watching carefully for you to speak. “Is that what’s important?” You finally say, your eyebrows furrowed and you’re ready to defend yourself if need be. “No, I haven’t.”

“God, bug this is…” Hyunjin squints at you, “I think you were aroused.”

You splutter, feeling your heart rate spike in embarrassment. “What!? No. No.”

“That weird feeling? That heat in your gut,” Hyunjin says, and to punctuate he lays a large, warm, hand over your stomach. “You were horny.” This time, Hyunjin’s laugh is one of amusement, but you're too distracted by how big his hand is, splayed over your stomach and so warm it feels like it’s burning through your clothes.

“Hyunjin, the feeling— no, it doesn’t make sense.”

“Bug, if you’ve never ever been aroused before somehow, of course it felt weird. Holy shit.”

You don’t say anything, but Hyunjin continues before you can get a grip on your thoughts.

“I can’t believe this is the reason why you’ve hated us for so long, I honestly can’t believe it.”

“Hyunjin… that feeling wasn’t pleasurable. Control is pleasurable. I didn’t have a grip on anything that day and barely regained it on the days following. You can’t convince me that getting rid of the CSC won’t bring back a sense of normalcy. You can’t, and even if you’re right, I think that morally, the site is still wrong, and I’m not going to stop trying to shut it down.”

“There’s so much about the CSC you don’t know about, and there’s so much more to pleasure than control.” Hyunjin sighs, clearly more at ease now that he realizes you’re just confused. You don’t know, really, why you hate them. That’s clear. You’re stubborn though, he can tell, and even if this idea he has works— he’s not sure you’ll stop until you get what you want.

Earlier that day the CSC received an email from the dean, threatening that they’ll start looking into all that their site entails because of how often you keep badgering them about it. It’s starting to create a murmur between staff, and they’re growing increasingly frustrated. All that means to Hyunjin is you’re finally breaking through their resolve, running them down enough for them to consider shutting it down or supervising more intensely. Hyunjin can’t have that. None of them can. When Hyunjin approached you tonight he expected to have to beg— to have to plead with you to stop meddling. The site is bigger than you know, more important than some college stupidity. It rakes in a lot of cash, and he can’t have such petty reasoning stop that flow.

Hyunjin’s voice is husky as he continues and his words send an undeniable shiver down your spine “I can show you that the site, and sex by association aren’t bad at all. Mentally, you’re confused and physically, you’re pent up. We can’t have that can we, pretty girl?”

“No, we can’t.”

Wait. What? Yes, we can. Yes you can. You’ve been doing just fine right? You don’t need Hyunjin’s help. He’s not gonna change your mind because your mind doesn’t need changing.

“You can try to shut us down, but at the same time let us help you.”

“Us?” You murmur, attempting to understand what exactly is happening.

“All of us, the CSC can help you figure out what you’re feeling, right? We can help you decide what to do.”

“…You can help me?”

Hyunjin hums, removing his hand from your waist and trailing his finger along the skin just above the hem of your shirt. His fingers dip over your cleavage, tug at your necklace, up and up until your chin is in his hand, and he turns you to face him as his lips brush your cheek. “I want to see who will succeed first, so let me show you that there’s more to pleasure than control.”

He can help you. Out of all the people who ask you why, who say they want to understand but don’t try, he’s the one who’s offering a solution. As annoying as he’s always been to you, as much as he’s always embodied something you hate— the person who’s embedded such foreign feelings in your mind— he wants to help you. He wants to try, and he’s not telling you to stop your goal either. He’s not telling you it’s stupid, he’s not getting angry. He doesn’t make you feel irrational. You’re not irrational. You have a goal and it’s one you’re gonna complete, but… it doesn’t hurt to try, right? And if you succeed, if you shut them down and Hyunjin fails— if the CSC fails you’ll win. You’ll win and prove that you were right all along.

“Go easy on me.”

“Of course, bug.”

You keep your eyes downcast in embarrassment as Hyunjin whispers against your skin, his fingers gently turning your chin up and over to the point of focus. His lips. Pouty, sinfully crimson, curving upwards so surely, like they themselves know their effect on people. They look so soft, so wet. You want to feel them, and it’s as if Hyunjin’s read your mind because his lips are on yours before you can even blink.

“You just kissed me,” Your voice is airy, breathless, and usually you’d be embarrassed.

“Can I do it again?”

There’s a simmering, boiling tension both of you have been ignoring but you’ve lost the will to care about hating Hyunjin or Chan or the CSC. Momentarily, you’ve lost the will to feel much at all but a burning desire to take away any negative emotion you feel. You’re sick of it, sick of feeling confused. Last night you’d dealt with it by crying your eyes out, before that you’d dealt with it by having a screaming match with your best friend, and now you’re ready to look for something to fix it. This just might be the best way to start.

“Not outside.” You whisper, your hands clutching the fabric of Hyunjin’s shirt with such an intensity you’re afraid it’ll rip off then and there.

The trip inside and upstairs is a blur. You’re sure if anyone saw you they stared, wondering what you two were doing together, wondering what you were going upstairs for. It’s a blur, nothing is clear but what you’re going to do at this moment, and with Hwang Hyunjin of all people. Of what you’re going to do in the future, with the CSC of all people, what you’re gonna do to them— what you’re gonna allow them to do to you— that’s the only thing on the forefront of your mind. Not about who’s watching, not about who wants to know. It’s about you. You’re the one in control, you’re the one who gets to decide. You’re the one who needs to know.

Warm. You feel warm all over, pressed against Hyunjin with his thighs spreading yours open, warm in his tight embrace. Your hands are clutching at his clothes, at his arms— It’s so hot, yet somehow the constant cool air of the room makes you shiver.

“W-what do I do?”

Hyunjin chuckles, his voice the softest you’ve ever heard it. “You don’t have to do anything, pretty. Let me handle it.”

Letting Hyunjin handle anything doesn’t sound like a very good idea to you in any instance, but in this case you let him. You’re otherwise clueless in this area and frankly, if you want his help you’re going to have to accept it when it’s given. His mouth lands back on yours, a certain kind of desire running through the kiss. His hands are all over you. Trying to grab at every inch he can, and you try your best to kiss him back with equal intensity— to move your lips against his with the same fervor.

Your heart kicks up an irritating notch when Hyunjin slides a warm hand up your shirt. You can feel the way his fingers ghost over your skin with an unnatural intensity, as if his touch is amplified tenfold. And if Hyunjin had imagined this during late nights, cock shamelessly fisted in his hand as he dreamt of you pushing your panties to the side for him to enter your tight hole, no one has to know.

“Look at me, pretty,” Hyunjin growls, your eyes opening at his command against your better judgement. His pupils are dilated, staring down at you with a foreign intensity. The way he looks at you is an awakening, and with a small burst of confidence, you bury your fingers into the collar of his shirt, bringing him down for another kiss. It’s a little awkward with your inexperience, all teeth and clumsy movements until he takes the lead. His lips feel like heaven and you want them everywhere, want to kiss him forever. You want to sink his soft groans into your skin, keep the taste of him on your tongue for the rest of your days as he licks into your mouth, coaxing feelings out of you you've never felt before— kissing you into blissful dizziness.

"I wonder why you're so pretty, hm? Been torturing me for months, sweet thing," Hyunjin teases, pressing your thighs farther apart, tongue pushing against yours, his lips cherry red. You want to kiss him again. "I don’t think you really hate me, bug.”

Your breath hitches when his hands move to your skirt, slipping under the hem and holding the fabric tightly. God, you feel so bare. Like Hyunjin is looking at you from the inside out. When he pulls your skirt down slowly, so slowly it feels like time stands still, all that’s on your mind is him. His breathing, his touch, his warmth. When your pink, lacy panties come into view the chuckle Hyunjin lets out is so deep it feels like a heavy blanket over your mind, soothing you yet igniting something in you that you didn’t know existed. God, you’re in the demon's bed but you feel like you’ve gotten a taste of heaven, and when those soft, cherry red lips ghost over your skin, trailing over your pelvis, leaving light kisses along your skin, all you can do is jerk in his hold. You’re so sensitive. So, so sensitive.

His hands grip your waist tightly and his lips trail upwards, the bridge of his nose pushing your shirt up until it’s so high your breasts threaten to fall, smothering Hyunjin’s face underneath them. You shiver at the thought, those sinful lips pressing kisses against the skin of your breasts; what would it feel like? Would it feel like this? This feeling that you’re still so unfamiliar with?

"Pretty girls deserve to know what it feels like to have me right here,” Hyunjin starts, leaning down to press a trail of kisses to your inner thigh. He bites and marks along the fleshiest parts, chuckling at your quiet whimpers and yelps. You didn’t know you could make sounds like that. He slides a hand up between your thighs and rubs between your folds, still covered by your lacy panties. “Did you come to impress someone tonight?” Hyunjin murmurs, before splitting them to rub your clit through the fabric. You feel like falling as he circles between your thighs, a gasp hiccupping at the base of your throat before it gets stuck— you can’t make a sound.

You faintly hear the rustle of clothing and the absence of Hyunjin’s touch, opening your eyes to see him pulling his shirt off, biceps flexing as he does. He’s so big, and fuck, his whole body could cover your own if he really wanted. He towers over you, caging you in and surrounding you from all sides. When his shirt is off and thrown somewhere to the floor, he looms over you, his hands pressing into the bedding at either side of your head, and all you can do is gasp— your eyes widening at his proximity.

“You okay?” He whispers, and you nod.

“Yes.”

It’s breathless. It’s not you. It’s not the person who wanted nothing to do with Hyunjin only a day ago, but you want answers. You want clarity. And right now, you want this.

Hyunjin wastes no time after your confirmation, his fingers slipping under your panties and ghosting over your skin. He lets out a harsh breath at the feeling where you’re otherwise silent, trusting that he knows what to do. When a rush of cool air blows over you though, your legs close instinctively, and Hyunjin hums, “Stay with me, bug.”

“I’m here,” You respond, slowly spreading your legs back wide and allowing him to pull your underwear down until they’re hanging off ur ankle, your arousal sticks to the fabric, but with a flick of his wrist they’re gone. They’re gone. Oh god. You’re really doing this. You take a deep breath, and when a warm hand comes to cradle your cheek you lean into the warmth. It’s okay. You’re okay.

Soft lips press against your skin, tainting the unmarked flesh with bites and bruises. He paints your neck purple and blue, fingers ghosting between your thighs, tracing and playing with the obvious wetness coating your arousal. His mouth travels upwards, pressing against your own as he claims your lips in a devouring kiss. Everything is on fire, hot and burning as lust begins to entirely consume you for the first time.

A small moan slips past your lips as he dips a finger into your slick, warm cunt, and you clench around the digit almost immediately as instinct. The cool air and your nerves make your thighs tremble, but it doesn’t seem to affect Hyunjin— not at all— if the way he keeps eye contact with you while he fingers you slowly is any indicator. Painfully slow. You don’t know if this is to help you or torture you, and you can’t help the way your thighs tense under his ministrations.

The man before you reaches his other hand towards the hem of your top to pinch the edge of it between an index finger and thumb, and pulls the cloth away from your skin.

His eyes bore into yours: “This okay?”

“Fuck, the more you ask me the more nervous I get.”

“Okay, okay. I don’t wanna make you nervous.”

“Just… be nice to me, Hyunjin. Okay?”

Hyunjin smiles, and you exhale, relaxing into Hyunjin’s sheets and letting his musky cologne consume your senses as his touch roams everywhere else.

And then finally— yet all too quickly— the shirt is tugged away from your breasts and they fall freely as Hyunjin eagerly leans closer. His nose presses against one of your hardened nipples, and you watch his pupils dilate quicker than you thought was possible. He’s barely holding back the urge to fuck you dumb, and the finger that still thrusts slowly into your cunt stutters in its movements.

Look at you. His eyes roam over the look on your face, your bottom lip pulled between your teeth, bright eyes glazed over and hooded in a bliss that’s otherwise foreign to you, a particular ease directed towards him. Then he shamelessly let his eyes drop down to your thighs that tremble even harsher under his gaze. The action only forces his mind to run wild. He can’t help but wonder how you do it— looking all innocent— being all innocent but acting like you’re not. Like you’re so sure. You’re confused, god, you don’t know what real pleasure is— and it’s Hyunjin’s job to teach you. Fuck, did he want to be under you, gazing up at your through half lidded eyes, hungrily eating up the sight of you bouncing on his cock like the slut you could be.

He dipped his head down, holding your breast in his large hand and rubbing over your nipples with his mouth, swirling his tongue around the hardened bud. Your hands automatically perched themselves on his shoulders, and he grins, moving the finger thrusting into your cunt harsher, faster.

“Oh, god,” You moan, loud, your grip on his bare shoulders tightening ever so slight. His skin was warm under your fingers— soft and smooth and fuck if it didn’t feel good.

He groans, cock stiffening more than it already had. At this rate he was probably going to cum in his pants untouched, but he held himself back. He wanted to do this right— show you all that pleasure could be. He moved his mouth from your nipple to slip lower, down lower and lower still until he came face to face with your arousal.

“Fuck. You’re driving me crazy.”

“Oh- oh Hyunjin help me, please,” You pleaded, his shoulders too far to grip onto; your hands instead finding his hair, running your fingers through and pulling when he nosed at your clit, groaning heartily when your wetness clinged to his skin.

It’s with a lick to your clit that you wail, your thighs threatening to close, and they would have if Hyunjin’s hands hadn’t reached out to force them down, pushing further and sticking his face into your arousal with more fervor, licking and sucking with such vigor that it felt as if he was trying to devour you. Your thighs trembled with every movement of his tongue, poking and prodding at every inch of your cunt, his nose dug against your clit and for a moment it felt like you were seeing stars. Your eyes fluttered shut, your mouth letting out uncontrollable moans.

You didn’t think it’d feel this good. But, you remind yourself, control feels better. You can’t let him change that— he won’t change that.

The obscene sounds that came from his actions should’ve embarrassed you, but nothing like that came to mind. Hyunjin was relentless, and you couldn’t even think of anything more than the feeling of his hair between your fingers and his tongue slurping at your cunt.

You tried to quiet your moans by clamping a hand over your mouth, but sitting up and watching the way he sucked and licked at your arousal made your head spin. He made the action so nasty. So filthy. He was wild yet careful. But what did you know? All you knew was that it was driving you insane and you didn’t know anything could feel this good.

Besides control, of course. And you assume, the eradication of the CSC would, also.

Suddenly, your stomach tenses, your body locking up, and you quickly cream all over his tongue, shaky moans slipping through your pretty lips. Your thighs shook from the aftershock, trying to come down from this feeling. Afterwards, Hyunjin’s actions felt too harsh. He didn’t change pace at all, but it felt like your body was going to arch its way into oblivion. Unable to ignore the sensitivity of your body any longer, you pushed against his head until he stopped, attempting to catch your breath.

“You okay?”

You hum, begging the beating of your heart to soften, though as soon as it finally did you looked back at Hyunjin and saw his pants sliding down his legs. His toned, muscular legs, and it started its harsh beating once again. That wasn’t it? Of course, that’s wasn’t it, but fuck. You don’t know if you can handle anything more.

The headboard of his bed knocks against the wall as he climbs back up on the bed, moving his body closer this time and instead of only his chest hovering over you, this time his legs cage you in, one on either side, as your heart pounds itself into oblivion.

One hand supported his weight on the pillow by your head while the other was preoccupied, curled around his cock as he stared down at you— something akin to a beast in his gaze. Tip reddened and precum oozing from the slit while he groaned. The tingly feeling in your groin was coming back, similar to the fluttering you always felt whenever Hyunjin would come bother you. It intensifies when Hyunjin wraps your legs around his waist and pulls you closer to him, your body dragging the bedding from under you and you yelp.

He rubs the tip of his cock against your twitching folds, teasing actions feeling more like torture before he finally sinks in. Slowly, deliberately, but you still tense. It’s scary, having something stick itself inside of you.

“Relax,” Hyunjin murmurs, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Stay with me.”

You do your best, forcing your body to relax, as he sinks deeper and deeper still. Hyunjin grunts softly when you clench down on him, and he sighs as you blink dazedly up at him.

Pretty eyes are locked intensely on your cunt, Hyunjin watching the slide of his cock as he thrusts inside. His hair is plastered along his sweat slicken forehead, and he sinks back into your slick walls with another languid roll of his hips.

“Fuck you’re so tight, baby.”

You moan, high and light, your eyes fluttering closed in bliss while Hyunjin’s chest expands with a shaky breath. He rolls his hips into yours— sinking his cock into your virgin cunt saying the filthiest words you’ve ever known before his words break off into a moan, his tone lower and deeper than his playful one. Tonight you’re seeing a whole new side of him— a new persona. This isn’t the annoying Hwang Hyunjin who bothers you and calls you ‘bug’, this is the Hwang Hyunjin everyone else knows. The one you hadn’t met yet.

“Oh, please don’t stop— be nice to me,” You babble, your hands grabbing at whatever you can— his shoulders, his back, his hair; and that’s all it takes before he suddenly takes up a pace that’s a little faster, rougher as your pussy squelches, wet and messy while your arousal smears along your thighs and the sheets.

Your body jolts with each thrust, pussy clenching around him as Hyunjin moans—every twitch and squeeze of your pussy leaving him breathless. “Come on, baby,” He pleads, and you don’t know what to do. You’re too lost in the haze of pleasure that’s taken over you— you can’t hear past the slap of your skin and Hyunjin’s groans in your ear. You know you’re moaning, but you can barely hear yourself. It’s all Hyunjin. Him all over you, surrounding you, making you feel good.

He grunts as you clench down on him with another roll of his hips, sinking deeper into you with each thrust. “That’s it, pretty,” he grunts, “Taking me so well, fuck. So greedy for me.” And again, you feel that strange feeling before tensing up, your body convulsing and arching up as Hyunjin’s thrusts grow more frantic— harsher and harsher as he groans gutturally in your ear with one last thrust long and deep, and when something shoots deep inside, you shiver one last time before your body sinks into the mattress and Hyunjin’s weight cases you in.

You feel boneless, lethargic with your movement. You feel when Hyunjin gets off you, when he closes your legs after slipping your underwater back on. You hear it when he sighs, something light and satisfied, and you barely manage to answer when he asks you how you feel. You can’t do much more than sigh, but it seems like enough for him— like that was the exact answer he was looking for. You succumb to blissful sleep right before the door shuts behind Hyunjin.

“Hear me out,” Hyunjin sighs, a lazy smile on his features even still. You’re no joke even if you might not know it yet. “I think it could really work.”

“You want us to convince Y/n to what? Leave us alone or..?” Jeongin says, leaning against the table in the kitchen.

The party has long been over, there’s a mess everywhere but it’s empty except for the eight boys and you knocked out in Hyunjin’s bed. Jisung sits sprawled on the couch, head twisted ever so slightly to betray that he’s listening to the conversation, Jeongin leans against the table and Chan has his arms folded where he leans against the wall serving as the entrance between the kitchen and the living room.

Minho downs a bottle of water by the sink, and Changbin leans against the fridge, leveling Hyunjin with an intense look. Felix and Seungmin sit on the couch opposite Jisung where they have a full view of everything and everyone.

“She barely even knows what porn is, so I said I could convince her the site isn’t that bad— and is something she could grow to like, if not love.” Hyunjin explains, his eyebrows raising in wait for the retaliation that’s sure to come.

“Why should we?” Minho asks, with a swallow, “If she doesn’t like it, honestly what does it matter.” Heads nod in agreement.

“Listen, they’re starting to consider whatever the fuck she’s selling them at those little meetings, and I got an email about investigation if this keeps up. If we fail to change her mind, we can at least distract her enough for the heat to lessen a little.”

Chan nods, “I don’t think it’s a bad idea.” He shrugs, looking over at everyone in the kitchen. “We change her mind, then we got one less problem to deal with.”

“And if we don't?” Changbin asks, tilting his head at both Hyunjin and Chan. “And if this is just a waste of time?”

“It isn’t,” Hyunjin assures, “Trust me.”

The rest of them don’t argue, but Hyunjin feels Seungmin’s gaze boring into him from the couch, feels his questions burning at the tip of his tongue, begging to be let out, so he leaves before they can succeed.

“We can talk about it more later, but I think it’ll work. It’s a good deed, and I know how much you guys love those.” Some scoffs and laughs fill the room, but Hyunjin is already halfway up the stairs, a plan forming in his mind and a pleasant smile growing on his face.

a note from iris: this chapter was late because of that long ass smut scene so i hope it was enjoyable and that this wasn’t 17k worth of a snoozefest 😭 i’m sorry it’s late!! so sorry but it’s still friday even if it’s 11 pm <3<3 not beta read not nothin so pls.. spare me.. and i hope you liked it !!!

not-so-mini taglist (there’s so many of y’all !!???): @chrisbahng @seonghwatoothless @bubblelixie @199719932000 @imsuchasimp00 @hyu-hl @oddinaryfelix @raspbinniecreme @fa3body @kittykatkrissa @andreaswrld @hattorihaechan @lachinitaaaaa @j-0ne25 @bangchanbabygirlx @ni-sh @green-orangeade @sincerely-skz @exclusivej3ss @elizalabs3 @lili-kims-blog @curiousgworge @midsoulz @sawadabegum @reighlee-greaves @lotus-dly @blcar @impossiblewritingrebel @yourhwngness @idek-at-this-point-lol @multihoe-net @hyun-bun @hwan-g @ughbehavior @rindomo @awesomelycoolworld @springdeity @todolyn @meowminhosblog @hyunelixies @emotionalwreckkk-blog @seungschacco @avyskai @cvfechan @jeyelleohe @vvsmydiamonds127 @chriscentric @simpforpunzngl @be-a-spacequeen @svintsandghosts @myjisung @hanjiesgf

*** if your tag didn’t work make sure your blog is visible! if i somehow missed you when tagging i offer a sincere apology <3

SKZ Jeongin Link Masterlist

Jeongin making you squirm under him as he fucks u and plays w ur clit / jeongin cumming all over your skirt <3

How he moans while you ride him (◠‿・)—☆

More to come...

(If links are missing that were there before sadly they do not work anymore, for the Twitter account has been suspended)

pleaseeeeeeee write something about minho's long hair, i'm begging and freaking out 😫😫😫

a/n: oh i’m screaming. this ask was made for me. i can’t do this. i’m going to go more feral than i already AM DHSKDJDHD

your hands tangle into his hair, strands of it spilling out of your fingers as you pull him closer to you. it’s so soft, silky and pillowy in your grip, unlike the way his teeth scrape over the skin of your throat. 

his lips don’t leave your neck as he lines himself up at your entrance, collecting your juices on him to make the slide easier. his cock passes over your sensitive clit and you arch up into him, bucking your hips against his. 

“in,” you gasp, repeating the action when he properly bites your neck and sucks at the spot. “inside of me, now.”

he leans over you with a chuckle, tufts of his dark hair falling over his face and shrouding him in darkness. his glinting eyes are peeking through the strands, catlike and squinted as he takes you in. his face goes slack as he sinks into you, eyelids fluttering closed in pleasure as he rocks into you slowly. his hair follows his movements, swinging back and forth as he moves in you, and you can’t help but be transfixed by it. 

your hand moves to tuck a bit behind his ears and you revel in how red his ear has turned. the lock slinks back out as quickly as it was tucked away, spurred on by how he’s started to fuck into you faster. you’re rewarded with a soft moan when you scratch a bit at his scalp and his movements stutter a bit. you try out a tug, a small piece of his hair locked between your fingers, and he gasps. that’s new.

he moves back to look at you with wide eyes, his cock forgotten and hard inside of you while he stared at you in reverence. 

“do that again,” he says, breathless. all hints of his precious confidence, his casual humor as he makes you fall apart under him, are done. you do what he says, taking more of his hair into your hand and pulling, harder than before. his entire body shudders as he collapses against you, head pressed into your neck to hide his whine as his hips pick back up in a harsh rhythm. 

usually, he loves to take his time with you, making you shake apart several times before finishing, your pleasure overriding his. but now, with your hands tangled into his long hair and tugging at it, his movements are almost wild as he fucks into you with a rare kind of desperation. he comes in you at the same time as you do, when you pull especially hard as you clench around him over and over. the room is filled with your moans twisting around each others’, pants and groans escaping into the air in bright colors. 

you release your hands as he pulls out, the sight of him almost sending you into a spiral. his hair is a mess, carefully crafted strands mussed up from your work. his face is flushed, a war of embarrassment and pleasure making itself known. 

“well,” he says, moving down your body until he’s a hair’s breadth away from your pulsing core. “looks like you discovered something new. don’t you think you deserve a reward, kitten?”

he dives in, lapping up his own release from your body, his tongue feeling perfect on your aching pussy. his hands move to grasp yours, guiding them to land on his head. 

oh. 

with his permission granted, you twine your fingers back into his hair like they belong there, pulling his head further into you and chasing your pleasure. he moans against you, the hum of it sending vibrations sparking up your spine. 

even when it becomes too much, when your oversensitivity takes control and every stripe of his tongue or brush of his lips makes you buck up, he keeps going. your hands fist into his hair, trying to tug him off of you but he just groans into you and keeps going, one arm reaching up to brace against your hips, holding you down against the bed. 

when you’re both laying in bed, teeth brushed and showered and in clean clothes, you tug experimentally at his hair. you can’t help the smile that takes over your face when he inhales sharply, sharp eyes flickering over you. 

“careful,” he drawls out, pulling you into him and trapping your hands between your bodies. 

you’re definitely using this knowledge to your advantage from now on. 

Someone requested leeknow twt links could you do one for hyunjin? :)

As long as I get a thank you<3 /jk :0

Hyunjin Links (18+)

Hyunjin moaning while fucking you<3 (seriously one of the hottest things I've heard)

Hyunjin giving y/n backshots in her apartment:0

Hyunjin fingering your other hole while you ride him

Riding Hyunjin with his favorite satin PJ shorts of yours.

Let me tell you... Hyunjin Links are so hard to find 🫣 Also let me tell you how easy it is to get distracted when this is the content i post😗

Whoever this anon is i despise you🫶

Is ramdan or whatever an excuse for you to not finish the series bcs a while back you said you’d release it but its not even here

theres a thing called researching love, please understand why i can’t 😭

Can you tell i have Minho BRAINROT. Fuck this mf for doing this to me what right does he have? I need to go to sleep for months straight at this point

LEE KNOW ⋮ SKZ TALKER GO ! S.3 EP.09 SEOUL

BC THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUTTTT CHA BABY THAT MAKES ME WANT TO GIVE IT TO YOU😨 KEEP IT IN THE CLOSET😆 (I'm sorry if this was not the inspiration but the title and the fact that closets are involved. Michael Jackson's in the closet)

make your move, set me free

pairing: lee minho x afab!reader

warnings: smut🔞!!!!!!!!, monster in the closet!minho, childhood friends to lovers but with a twist!, time jumps, like .2 seconds of mentioned jealousy, light angst, masturbation (f), voyeurism, unprotected sex, minho’s ribbed monster dick, horn sucking (???? you’ll know when u get there), horn rubbing (again, ???), monster creampie!

note: here he is! sorry it took so long, but life has been kicking my ass lately lmao. if this is bad….. just shhhh for my well-being. anyways, i do hope you enjoy!!! also just as an fyi… minho’s dick is shaped like the bad dragon sleipnir :-) also also let it also be known that idk what the hell he is like he’s just a thing i just made up shit really

the first time you met lee minho, you were six years old.

met is a strong word, considering the fact that you were laid shivering and scared in your bed at three in the morning. you always slept through the night, but recently you’d been continuously woken up at odd hours due to the noises coming from your closet.

it started with the creak of your closet door. you opened your eyes and rolled onto your back to reach for your teddy bear that you must have lost during the night. it wasn’t until you were about to fall back to sleep that you heard what must have woken you up in the first place. your head perked up from your pillow at the sound of your closet door slowly creaking open. you stopped breathing, gripping your teddy bear close to your chest as your heart pounds.

you don’t hear the noise again for a few minutes. maybe it was just the air conditioner? sometimes it makes weird noises, and your mom always complains about it. your head settles back onto the pillow when you hear it again, this time, with a whispered call of your name.

you can’t help but gasp, chest heating up as your heart pounds faster. you sit up in your bed before you can stop yourself, staring directly at your half opened closet. why did your parents have to put your bed right there? directly in front of the closet. your mom always makes sure the door is shut before she leaves your room to go to bed; you definitely didn’t open it, but somehow the pitch black interior of the closet is looking right back at you.

your eyes are adjusting to the dark now. the nightlight in the corner helps you to see, but it doesn’t provide enough light for you to see inside the closet. you can’t make out the shape of your clothes or shoes… you can’t see anything.

until you see red.

glowing red. two bright red eyes turn themselves into three and make themselves known to you, and that’s all it takes for you to scream.

“m-mommy!” you shriek, pulling the covers over your head and hiding your face against the plush of your teddy bear. you stay hidden until the light clicks on, and you feel your mother’s warm arms wrap around you. you slowly lift your head from under the blankets and look up at her with teary eyes. she coos and wipes your tears, soothing down your wild hair.

“what’s wrong, sweetheart? did you have a bad dream?”

“mommy, shhh,” you bring a finger to your lips to quiet her. “there’s- there’s a monster in- in there. in my closet,” you whisper, pointing a finger conspiratorially at your now closed closet door. did your mom close the closet door when she came in?

“is there?” she asks back. you nod. “i know just what to do. can you be brave and wait here while i go get something?” you really don’t know, but your parents’ room is right down the hall. you finally nod your head again, and your mom plants a kiss to your hair before she scurries out of the room. your eyes stay locked on the closet door until she comes back with a spray bottle in her hand. she sits down beside you on your bed.

“i’ve been hoping i wouldn’t have to use this,” she sighs, showing you the bottle. “here, it’s monster spray. i got it from the store a couple weeks ago just in case. see! it,” she turns the bottle around to read from the back, “‘repels monsters, ghosts, goblins, and other scary creatures away in one use!’”

huh, that might be able to work. she stands up from the bed and makes her way to the closet.

“be careful mommy,” you whisper, gripping the blanket tighter in your hand. she takes a deep breath and cracks open the door, immediately shoving her hand inside to spray around. once she’s done, she shuts the door again.

“it says we have to give it ten seconds to activate. can you count for me?” you start counting as soon as she asks, going up to twenty for good measure. “that should definitely work. okay, sit back. let mommy check.”

your mom once again opens the closet door, this time fully, and she gasps. you gasp in response. there’s nothing in there; that must mean the spray worked! she moves your clothes this way and that, double checking to make sure it’s safe.

“i don’t see anything in there, do you?” she asks. you shake your head. whatever that was, it’s gone. your closet is back to normal. all you see are your clothes and shoes plus a couple of your winter clothes on the top shelf.

“you killed it! it really worked!” you cry, climbing out of bed to hug your mom tight. “can i- can i sleep in your room tonight? in case it comes back…”

“of course you can, sweetie, but here.” she hands you the spray. monster masher. “you keep this in here, okay? so the next time you see a monster, you know what to do. you can always call me for backup if you need.”

the next night, you’re still scared. it happens just like it did the night before, but this time you have the trusty monster masher on your nightstand. you hear the closet creak open and hold your breath, making up your mind that you’re not going to call for your mom this time. you’re big; you can do this. at the first whisper of your name is when you decide to slowly reach for the bottle, hoping that whatever is in your closet won’t see you.

you slowly slip from the bed, sticking close to the wall and tiptoeing to the closet. your hand is shaking where you grip onto the spray bottle. you’re sticking close to the door hoping that whatever is inside can’t see you from the side. you take a deep breath just like your mom did last time, steady your hand, and reach it into the mouth of the closet to spray as fast as you can.

you don’t want something to grab you and snatch you inside, so you quickly pull your hand from the closet and shut the door, remembering the instructions your mom told you and counting to ten. fifteen for good measure.

the first thing you hear is sputtering from the inside. you run to your light switch and turn it on before opening the closet door, and what’s inside surprises you.

it’s a boy, knelt on the ground and scrubbing his tongue with the sleeve of his shirt. he’s no ordinary boy though, you can tell.

at first, you notice the light purple hue to his skin. his eyes are a deep black; there are three of them, and tiny horns sprout from the tip top of his head. he looks a little fuzzy too, and definitely not as scary as he did in the dark.

“ack!” the boy cries, still swiping at his tongue. “wha’ i’that?!” you spritz him again and he flails, slapping the bottle away from you. “hey, stop it! i’m not a bug.” he finally sits up straight and glares at you, and his eyes flare bright red.

you gasp at that, taking a step backwards and tripping over a toy you left on the floor in front of your bed. you land with an oof!, cradling your wrist after you land on it hard. the boy scoots out of the closet and points to your hand.

“are you- are you okay?”

“please don’t eat me!”

he glares at you again. “if i wanted to eat you i woulda already.”

and that is history.

at sixteen, you’re still dealing with the monster in your closet. you’ve learned many things about him in the ten years he’s inhabited your space.

his name’s minho, he’s your age, and you’re his assigned human. that sounds stupid. you didn’t believe him at first, but he showed you the paperwork. where you go, minho will follow. his assignment to you is a serious one.

after those fateful nights all those years ago, you’ve surprisingly become quite good friends. you’ve had plenty of time to get to know each other. after all, he’s in your closet every night. he can come and go as he pleases and you can send him away, back to whatever monster realm he came from, but he always comes back. he’s gone to and from on his own free will, you’ve never had the urge or need to send him away.

one thing you’ve never been able to piece together though is what lee minho actually is. minho’s told you before that he doesn’t even really know himself. he’s more of a… thing. kind of like those mutt dogs, but he’s a monster instead. you’ve looked on all types of websites. blogs, forums, encyclopedia pages, but you could never find any answers to quell your curiosity. it’s okay though, however nosy you are doesn’t change the fact that one of your closest friends is a monster that halfway lives in your closet.

speaking of friends, one of yours inhabiting your room right now.

it’s not that minho’s jealous, he has other friends of his own. like changbin, a short and bulky zombie who clicks and chomps his teeth whenever he’s hungry and has a too-loud laugh. or chan, a werewolf with kind eyes and a tail that wags way too hard when he’s happy. you’re definitely not his only friend, but he doesn’t like when you have sleepovers with yours. and no, not just because you talk about your stupid crushes.

you’ve been sitting on your bed for the past hour, chitchatting about some wooyoung character that your friend thinks you’d look super cute with.

minho rolls his eyes, resisting the urge to thunk his head back against the wall of your closet. his horns have hit a growth spurt though recently, and he knows he’d put a hole in your wall by accident if he did. the final straw for minho is when you both lay down to sleep.

“would you go out with him if he asks you?” your friend questions, propping herself up on her elbow to look at you one last time before you both go to sleep. minho straightens up at that. he strains forward, as close to the closet door as he can get without bumping into it with his horns, and listens for your response.

“i- i mean, i dunno? maybe? i’d have to think about it, i guess,” you say. minho makes a face. his lip curls slightly in disgust, and the soft peach fuzz on his body bristles at your answer. that’s it, he’s heard enough. he’ll just have to wait until you fall asleep.

much to minho’s pleasure, it doesn’t take too much longer.

he starts his typical routine when he focuses and hears the evenness of your breath and your friend’s. it’s always a crack of the door. minho sits up on his knees and places one finger to the door, pushing it open slightly and reveling in the creak of the old wood. he knows you’ll wake up soon, he’s just not sure about your talkative and annoying friend. he gives the old door one more slow push, and it creaks again.

he’s a little disappointed in how used to him you’ve gotten because you barely even roll over at the noise of the closet door slowly opening. the same cannot be said for your friend, however. minho smirks as he hears her breathing catch in her throat and heart rate pick up. now that he knows she’s awake, minho’s about to enact the next step in his routine. come to think of it though, he doesn’t really remember her name.

instead of whispering her name in the dark like he usually would, he decides on the next best thing.

he whistles.

it’s a slow thing, starting out high pitched and ending on a lower tone, and minho has to try hard to keep from laughing when he sees her head whip to the closet.

still whistling that haunting little tune, minho creaks the closet door open once more and moves his head closer to the opening of it, finally allowing himself to let his eyes shine ruby-red. the rest of his body is hidden by the darkness of your room, but he knows that his eyes are visible.

minho hears your friend shake you awake and cover your mouth.

“oh my god, i think- someone’s in your fucking closet,” she whispers, head turning back to the closet and met with glowing red.

“oh jesus christ,” comes your muffled response. you fling the covers back and march over to your closet, hitting your light switch on the way there. you open the door and shove your clothes to the side, hangers screeching on their rack, dutifully smothering minho with your clothes and pushing him to the corner. he flails and his horns clatter against the wall.

“shit, haha- um! sorry, my boots fell. there’s- there’s nothing in here, see? look.” you move out of the way, showing your friend the inside of your closet. you shuffle through your clothes so that she can see the back. hidden by the wall, minho peaks around his face-full of clothes and stifles his laugh when he sees you do jazz hands at your friend. you catch sight of him and once again roughly shove your clothes back into his face and he flips you off.

“no, i swear. i swear i saw something glowing in there! and- and i heard whistling?”

“oh, i have a, um. jacket! a jacket… with sequins on it? you know what i mean? sometimes it catches the light from the window. and our air conditioning makes some really weird noises sometimes at night. yeah, um. sorry, no- uh, no whistling here!”

your friend laughs, slapping herself on the forehead. “you think i’m crazy, don’t you? maybe i should go home… i think i just- i might need to sleep in my bed tonight, you know?”

you sigh and shut your closet door so that you can sit beside her on the bed.

“definitely not crazy, i promise. here, let me help you get your stuff. i can walk you to your car too.”

you say goodbye, shutting the car door for her and telling her to text you when she makes it home. when you make it back to your room you stop in front of your door to collect yourself.

“what the fuck is wrong with you?!” you whisper yell, opening the closet door and looking down at minho. “you can’t just-! you can’t just do that, minho!”

he pushes your clothes off of him, stands up, and rolls his eyes, getting up from his spot in the corner and rubbing one of his horns.

“that hurt, asshole. there’s a hole in your wall now by the way.” minho sits on your bed and looks at you expectantly. when you don’t sit beside him immediately he pats the bed beside him and raises his eyebrows. you huff and plop down next to him.

you’re both quiet until you decide to speak up.

“why’d you do that? you’ve never done that before. you can’t just- just go around scaring the shit out of everyone that comes to my house! what if she saw you? like really saw you?”

“she talked too much,” comes minho’s response. you make a face at that.

“she did not!” you retort, smacking him on the shoulder. he doesn’t even flinch.

“she did so! all she talked about was that- that wooyoung guy and it was annoying me,” minho grumbled. you raise your eyebrows and scoff, nodding your head.

“oh. oh i see.”

“oh what, you freak? see what?!”

“you’re jealous, minho! you didn’t want her talking about wooyoung because you’re jealous!”

“you were right earlier,” minho says, leaning closer and lowering his voice. “she’s not the crazy one. that’s you.”

minho laughs when you grip onto his horns and shake his head like a bobble head. he flashes his eyes back at you playfully.

“there’s nothing to be jealous of. you’re mine. i have the paperwork to prove it.”

you didn’t think he would react this way.

the two of you have argued before, sure, you’re bound to have a few spats with someone cohabitating your space for ten plus years. it’s never felt as big as this though. this feels like more than an argument.

“i thought you’d be happy for me? we talked about how much i wanted this, minho. i can’t just stay here forever, why are you being like this?” you ask. you’re hurt. more hurt than you’ve been in a long time. minho saw firsthand how much effort you put into finding your first place to live on your own; he even kept you company and gave you his opinions on each apartment while you looked at their websites.

“that’s not- don’t put words in my mouth. of course i’m happy for you!” he doesn’t look happy though. “you worked so hard, and you deserve it. you deserve to finally have a place of your own. you know that’s what i think.”

“no i don’t know that, minho. i can’t know that if you don’t tell me. what’s wrong then? why are you so upset? you- you encouraged me to apply every time!”

“it’s just real now, it’s real. i don’t- did you ever think that i don’t want to go? i have to go with you. i have to follow you wherever you go, and i don’t have a choice!” the tips of his ears are turning a deep shade of purple and his eyes flicker from black to ruby. “i don’t get a fucking say in that! this may be your home, but it’s mine too, and i don’t want to leave.”

“then don’t. you don’t have to come with me if you don’t want to. i can’t- i can’t just stay here the rest of my life. i don’t want to, that’s not an option for me. i’m sorry minho, but i can’t.”

“you know that’s not how this works. i have to go with you, remember? i can’t stay here no matter how bad i want to! i’m tethered to you.”

“i can’t help that! i didn’t make the rules! it’s not my fault, and i’d fix it for you if i could!” you cry, sitting on your bed and putting your head in your hands. when you look at him again, your eyes are teary. “maybe you should go home, minho. your real home. i think i want to be alone now.” you can’t look at him when you say it.

minho opens his mouth and shuts it, nodding at the ground. by the time you look up again, he’s gone.

it’s been about a month since you moved into your new place, and you’re half convinced you’re never going to see minho again. you haven’t seen him since you left your parents’ home; this is the longest you’ve gone without seeing him in years. you miss his presence, but you know how stubborn and hard-headed he can be. you both are. despite that, you know he’s hurt too.

what makes it even worse is that you two were never able to put a name on what you were to each other. it always felt like there was something more under the surface of your friendship. you both felt that way, and you knew that. despite his exterior and matching sarcasm, minho was always affectionate and kind with you. his stay in your closet might have originated with the sole purpose of scaring you every night, but that’s been a lost cause for nearly a decade now. he was quick to hold your hand and squish your cheeks and was even your first kiss in high school. he held you when you cried and went out of his way for you when it seemed like no one else would.

it was easy to fall for minho. he is easy to love and easy to want. his absence from your life is glaring.

getting your new apartment set up was a lonely affair. your parents and some friends helped move you in and get things settled, but your trinkets and clothes and pictures are up to you. hanging up the last of your summer and fall clothes was when it hit you that you’re really alone. no roommate, no parents, no closet monster.

however lonely you might be is coming in handy now. you haven’t gotten off this much in years. you haven’t been able to much with minho staying in your closet, but you’re diligently catching up on all you missed.

the buzz of your vibrator is muffled by the comforter you’re laying under, and you shiver as you cum for what feels like the hundredth time that night. you’re finally starting to sweat, so you throw the blanket off, baring yourself to the fairy lights and four walls of your new bedroom. you shudder weakly one last time, holding down the power button on your vibe and turning it off.

you know you’re not done yet, just taking a break.

as your body takes notice of the chill in the room, your nipples harden. your fingers tap at them for a moment, and in no time you’re ready to go again. the toy you were previously using finds its way back to your cunt, and you turn it on its lowest setting to work yourself up again. it’s easy to do, you’re just so sensitive.

“f-fuck, fuck! minho, i can’t- please,” you cry, head shaking back and forth. you can’t contain the noises coming from your mouth no matter how hard you try, and your hips buck and buck against your hand.

if you had any presence of mind you’d hear the tell-tale sound of your closet door creaking open over the buzzing of your toy; you’d see three ruby-red eyes peering at you from your sea of clothes.

your body wracks with tremors as you bring yourself to your climax once again. your vibrator is soaked, fingers sticky wet. your thighs and the sheets under you are faring no better. you place the vibrator on your thigh to rest and bring your fingers to your cunt to lightly rub at your clit.

“m-minho, my minho,” you mumble. your clit’s so swollen and slippery wet against your pruney fingers. now that your toy is turned off and you’ve calmed down, you’re able to hear the closet door. you’re not even ashamed, just needy, and you focus your gaze towards the door. you know it’s him.

“my jagi,” minho responds quietly from the doorway. his eyes are locked on your face rather than your bare body. it makes you smile.

you reach for him and he comes to you as always. minho climbs onto your bed and wraps you in his arms like you’re not stark naked and sweaty, like he doesn’t smell your arousal.

“you’re here,” you say, caressing his horns as he bucks them lightly against your forehead. “i didn’t- i didn’t think you’d come back.”

“you called for me. you said my name, silly. i’ll always come when you call.” minho nuzzles his nose against yours.

“missed you. i missed you so much, minho.” your arms wrap around him and he rocks you slowly from side to side. minho’s hand slides down to your hip to squeeze the warm, soft skin.

“i missed you, jagi. i was so bored!” he cries, dramatic. “i can see that you certainly found a way to occupy your time.” his eyes flick down to your chest and right back up to your eyes. you grab one of his horns and pull at it to make his head shake and he laughs.

“you be quiet! i’m just… making up for lost time, i guess.”

minho hums. he lowers his face so his nose is only a breath from yours. “i hate that i missed the show,” he whispers. you bite your lip and situate yourself in minho’s strong arms, turning over slightly so you’re on your back so you can slowly spread your legs for him. minho’s hand follows the movement of your thighs, and he grunts when his fingers finally touch the silky wetness that sticks to the inside of them.

“you- you didn’t miss it. i wasn’t done yet,” you breathe. you arch your hips towards him and he finally meets your lips with a kiss. your second kiss, this one much more intense than its predecessor. it heats up quickly, a clash of lips and teeth and tongue. minho’s tongue is longer than yours, a little rougher, but definitely not unwelcomed. his palm kneads at your thigh as his tongue flutters against yours. “touch me, touch me please, minho.”

“greedy thing. i am touching you, jagi.” he cocks his head and it makes you huff. before he can say anything else, you grab his hand and bring it to where you’re craving him. despite how brazen the action was, you’re still sensitive from your previous orgasms, and it makes you hiss. minho’s small fingers play with your cunt as if he’s done it countless times before. you’d laugh if it didn’t feel so damn good. minho knows you better than anyone; it’s not a surprise that he’d just get it from the beginning.

“ahh, shit,” minho mumbles into the sweaty skin of your neck. “so soft. ah, such a wet pussy. how many times did you cum before you called for me?” he rubs at your clit with the pads of his fingers for a moment before bringing them to his mouth to wet. at his first taste of you he grunts, quickly bringing his fingers back down to your cunt.

“u-um, three, maybe? i think? fuck, minho please. i need you to take your clothes off! why am i the only one naked?”

you know minho, you know he wants to tease, but he surprisingly wastes no time in shucking his shirt over his head and pulling his pants down his legs. he goes for his boxers but stops.

“look, it’s a little… ah, how do i say this? different? special?”

you laugh at that. “hello? fucking- special?! minho you have horns on your head and three eyes, i don’t think your dick is going to scare me.”

minho shrugs and laughs with you, finally dropping his boxers and showing you what’s underneath. you’re right, it’s not scary, but it’s not like anything you’ve taken before. it’s thick, ribs and ridges and layers galore with a bulbous head. you bite your lip, reaching out to touch him with gentle fingers. your hand wraps around him and he grunts, lightly thrusting into your fist. it’s already oozing steadily from the tip, making the slide easier for both of you.

“oh, minho, that’s going to feel so good in me,” you breathe. you know it will. minho climbs between your legs and spreads them wide, eyes focusing on where you’re ready and leaking for him. he scoots forward on his knees and grabs the base of his cock, guiding himself to the slit of your cunt. your arms twitch when you feel the texture of him for the first time as he slowly grinds on you; minho’s already got your eyes rolling and he just started.

“oh my god, that feels so f-fucking good. it’s s-so! ‘m s-still sensitive,” you whimper. the ridges on his thick cock rub against you just right. “you’ll make me cum again.”

“yeah? mm, i think i’d like that,” minho hums. he takes both of your ankles in his hands and spreads your legs wider, fucking his cock against the slit of your cunt. there’s barely any friction because you’re so wet. that’s lost to minho though, he doesn’t seem to mind at all, much too busy watching the way your puffy clit catches on the mushroom tip of his cock.

“don’t you want to fuck me? please, see, ‘m ready for you,” you say, bringing your fingers down to your cunt to spread yourself open for minho. “tight too. promise.”

“you promise?” he raises his eyebrows, and his gaze flicks up to your face. “you promise your little cunt’s tight for me?”

you nod your head.

“let me come find out then,” minho hums. he taps the head of his cock one last time against your clit and smirks when your body jolts under him. minho guides his cock to your hole, slowly rubbing the tip against it as a taste of what’s to come. your eyes roll as the thick head slips into your cunt.

“yesss, jagi. you’re so relaxed, that’s perfect. just open up for me, let me in, that’s right. oh, you feel so good around me,” minho breathes. his head hangs low and his arms shake slightly where they’re holding him up.

“b-big, ‘s big, minho, fuck,” you cry. your pussy makes a downright filthy noise as minho thrusts fully into you, and you cover your face with your hands. minho tuts.

“talking to me,” minho mutters, smirking. his hands are quick to tug yours away from your face, holding your wrists together on your stomach. “don’t hide from me, you look at me when i fuck you, hm? keep those pretty eyes right here on me.”

you nod quickly, willing to do almost anything for him at this point. you can’t stop touching him, the cool peach fuzz on his body feels so good against you. minho’s not much better. he can’t keep his hands still either, gliding up and down your body. gripping your thighs, squishing your tits together, holding your hands. he’s missed you.

before you know it, you’re clutching onto his horns while he fucks you into the mattress.

“minho, please! fuck, more. please give me more?”

“i’ll give you everything. you’ll have everything you could ever want,” minho grunts. he complies with your request, fucking you so that you’re almost being pushed up the bed. you really might be if it weren’t for the grip you have on his horns.

“gonna make me cum. g-gonna cum on your cock, minho.”

“yeah? baby, jagi. cum. cum for me now.”

it doesn’t take long with you so sensitive, and soon you’re cumming for what feels like the hundredth time tonight. it might as well be with the way your body is quivering in minho’s hold

“fuck, cumming just for me. pretty, pretty baby.” minho slows his movements, but you wrap your legs around his waist to pull him closer.

“keep going. fuck me ‘til you cum. i can take it, i’ll be good.” that’s all it takes for minho to gather himself again and work back up to his prior pace. his eyes flash red, and they quickly focus on your chest. your chest is bouncing with the force of his thrusts, and he can’t keep his mouth off of them any longer. minho leans down and sucks one of your nipples into his mouth, tongue flicking and teeth nibbling at the little bud.

your grip on his horns slackens for a moment as you throw your head back, but soon you find yourself pressing kisses to them while minho has his fun with you. before you know it, you’re sucking on one like you would his fingers or his tongue or his cock. the curved appendage glides perfectly into your mouth with minho’s head ducked, the slide easy thanks to your spit. you bob your head on it as best you can while on your back, and it has minho panting into the sweaty skin of your chest. one of your hands clutches his shoulder as the other rubs up and down his other horn, stimulating it while your mouth is occupied with its twin.

“i’m- fuck. no one’s ever- oh, jagi. i’m cumming, cumming in this little cunt, shiiiit.”

minho pulls back, and his horn slides from your mouth. you slurp as much of your spit back into your mouth as you can as minho takes hold of your cheeks so that he can see you face while he cums. he’s quiet, short gasps leaving his mouth and stomach caving as he pumps you full of his cum.

he slouches down on top of you when he’s finished and you kiss his head. soon your positions are switched, and minho lays on his back while you curl up beside him.

“you know we have to talk,” you whisper, kissing his chest. minho hums quietly in response and takes hold of your hand that’s resting gently on his stomach.

“tomorrow. we’ll talk tomorrow, hm? just lay here with me tonight.” he brings your hand to his lips and kisses your knuckles.

you snort at that. “have you ever even slept in a bed before?”

“i’m about to,” minho laughs. he stretches his legs and wriggles down until his head is resting more comfortably on the pillow beneath him. “mm, i think i might like this better than the closet.”

three in one || hwang hyunjin

» summary: hyunjin finds it depressing to hear that you’ve never had an orgasm. he’s determined to give you three in one night. at least. 

» pairing: hyunjin x reader

» rating: NC-17 minors please do not interact 

» genre: acquaintances to very well acquainted LMAO, porn with minimal (no) plot, implied he has a crush on you though

» warnings: WELL so… degradation, dom hyunjin, sub reader, oral (f & m receiving), fingering, overstimulation (if you squint), squirting, unprotected sex (it’s fiction ok do better), name calling, very brief crying, hyunjin is big, cowgirl, creampie, spanking, chocking, spitting, slapping (tame tho like once), hyunjin is smug af, sex at a party, hints of aftercare mentioned, i think i got it all now...

» words: 4,742

» a/n: i am revamping tomorrow hyunjin blog only everyone else irrelevant (i’m only joking do not come for me i very much love everyone) but fr i can't even defend myself anymore han i'm so sorry ily. also, i am hitting a milestone soon and have a celebration post up with some ideas in mind for how to celebrate so if you have any particular WIP's of mine you'd like to see first, you can find it here.

The silence in the room drove you further into your best friends arms, hiding out of sheer embarrassment at everyone's surprise. You hadn’t really thought about it, that spilling something you didn’t even deem a secret to be so… well, crazy.

“You’ve never?” Minho speaks up first, his face both disbelieving and feeling a little sorry for you. He’s incredibly outspoken, and you know both from him and others that unlike you, he has a rather successful sex life. 

“How do you know?” Felix interjects. 

“What do you mean how does she know?” Seungmin’s hit the back of his friends head, who in turn hits back as the two begin to argue amongst each other. 

“I mean… it’s not a big deal,” you try, but it’s met with even more outcry from your circle of acquaintances. That’s what makes it so awkward, maybe, that you’d dared share it to classmates that were more only known to you through Jisung, rather than being actual friends to you. 

“You’re in your sexual prime and you’ve never had an orgasm. How is that not a big deal?” Minho continues, and you don’t miss the compliment thrown in there somewhere that he considered you to be in your prime at university. 

“Maybe men just don’t do it for her,” Seungmin interjects, and you don’t miss the way he glances over at Hyunjin, who’d sat rather quietly the whole night. 

You’d ended up at a house party that was still going on all around you, mostly in the living room (where loud music could be heard even from the kitchen), but you were sat in a chair at the dining table, drink in front of you nearly finished, and your best friend and some of his friends around you. 

Hyunjin was the one you knew the least and also found the most difficult to speak to. Maybe it was the crush you’d been developing on him, or maybe it was the fact that he was just very, very hard to get a word out of when he wasn’t in a particularly talkative mood. 

“Wouldn’t blame her. We aren’t that great,” Minho looks entirely offended by Jisung’s offhanded comment next to you, as if he couldn’t believe the audacity of someone to even suggest it. Though it was all in good fun, and seconds later he’s breaking out into laughter. 

You’re thankful that the conversation bleeds into another hot topic and that the boys all seem to move on from your confession, even if part of you thinks they’ll be ready to bring it up again in no time. Deciding to slip away before that happens, you excuse yourself and offer to replace everyone's drinks while you grab water. 

“I’ll come with,” Hyunjin’s chair scrapes loudly, only muffled slightly by loud cheering out in the living room that makes all of you turn while he stands up, “could use the refill.”

You nod, realising very quickly that you’ve never actually been alone with Hyunjin. You shared art classes together, but he always sat on the other side of the room near one of the windows, and the few attempts you’d tried to make at conversation, always ended in you saying nothing before sitting back down defeated.

The annoyance on Hyunjin’s face is near commical when people push and stumble into you both, though it surprises you to feel him reach for your wrist and pull you further behind him to shield you. Maybe you’re overthinking it, but he seems more frustrated at people crashing into you than into him. 

“Fucking hell,” you both land by the bar that’s situated ontop of a rather unstable table, an assortment of half empty drinks and buckets of ice that hold wine.

“I just want water,” you interject when he’s about to refill your wine, and while his face seems a bit confused (something which you think is really, really annoyingly cute), he doesn’t argue with you or try to convince you to keep drinking.

“Water it is,” to no ones surpise, the water bottles are the most full, Hyunjin pouring it into your cup before handing it back to you. 

“Thank you,” he nods, making his own drink while you watch in silence. It feels a little awkward, but it may just be the fact that you’re staring at him whilst he’s ignoring you completely. 

“How many people have you slept with?”

You nearly spit out your drink, coughing while Hyunjin immediately reacts and hits your back lightly, waiting for you to steady yourself. He’s smiling, hiding his laughter, and you begin to feel so stupid for ever struggling to say a word to him. Whilst he’s rather introverted, from what you could tell, he seemed nothing but sweet. 

“Are you going to judge me?”

“No, I’m not asking so I can judge you for it,” he leans back against the table, something he maybe shouldn’t do given that it trembles slightly, his hands holding the edges.

“Six,” you clear your throat, crossing your arms in a defensive stance. He’s eyelevel with you, though his shoulder blonde hair is hiding his brown eyes, covering part of his face before he runs his hand through it. 

“Isn’t that a little sad?”

Immediately you recoil, feeling not only embarassment but shame as you look away. You can see him move out of the corner of your eye, but you refuse to look until he’s hooked his fingers under your chin and forced your head up, “you’ve been with six people and not even one could make you come?”

Again, you deflate in shame though this time a little differently, understanding that he hadn’t insulted you the way it had initially sounded to you.

“I mean… I… maybe I just can’t-”

“Bullshit, don’t even try to give me that excuse,” his fingers are still holding your chin up, and you watch him bite down on his lower lip before placing his drink down on the table. He’s thinking, what of you’re not sure, but you can practically see thoughts twist in his head before he leans down and kisses you. 

You don’t expect it, but it’s such a welcome surprise that you immediately melt against him. He’s electrifying you, pulling you in as he grips your waist and you fall further into him. It ends all too quickly, an embarassing sound close to a whine leaving your lips when he pulls away. 

“I’ll show you if you want…” he’s teasing you, nibbling gently on your left ear before leaving a wet kiss on your neck, “I’ll make it three.”

Hyunjin walks away before you have time to react, his drink in hand as he holds it up as if to say cheers, and you’re standing there wondering if you’re hallucinating or having a very imaginative dream. You’re wrong in thinking he’s going back to the kitchen though, for you see him turn the other way towards the staircase, looking back at you one last time with a knowing smirk. 

He’s inviting you. 

And you can’t seem to say no. 

You send Jisung a message that you’re with Hyunjin getting some air, choosing not to elaborate but saying just enough so that hopefully, he doesn’t worry too much about your lack of return and also doesn’t go looking for you (though with him, you could never be sure). 

Your heart is beating out of your chest as you head upstairs, being met with a rather spacious hallway and an assortment of photos on the walls and pots of flowers and plants along the doors. You have no clue where he is and don’t really want to check in every last corner, but turns out you don’t have to, for one door opens and arms snake around your waist and pull you inside before you can say a single word in protest. 

“Couldn’t resist, hmm?” the familiar voice makes you calm down, realising it’s Hyunjin that took you hostage and not a stranger, cornering you at the door that’s now kicked shut and locked. His eyes are darker, more driven with lust and you wonder if you look much the same. 

“Hyunjin-” he kisses you again, effectively shutting you up as you moan against him, feeling one of his hands slide to the back of your thigh, lifting your leg to push himself closer between you. It makes you arch into him, though he forcefully presses a hand to your chest to push you back into the door. 

“F-fuck me. You’ll ruin me,” he bites your neck, enough to sting but there’s a sense of pleasure that comes with it that makes the sensation rather addicting. You want him to do it again, “you think I never noticed you in class? Always looking at me but never saying anything? I was just waiting for you to speak to me.”

“Y-you noticed-”

“Hard not to notice you,” his eyes run along your body, hovering over the zipper that runs through the entirety of your dress at the front. Whilst it looks more like a decorative pieace, it also happens to be the way in and out of your tight dress that now, you realise, may also have been daringly short, “and then you show up in this.”

It’s the way he says it, so raw and rough as his hands run over the fabric, that makes you whimper again. You weren’t sexually inexperienced at all, but the way he was treating you made everything feel new again. 

You get barely a second to react to him lifting you up, your legs going around his waist while the skirt of your dress rises enough for him to see your panties that match the red of your outfit, as if you’d really thought this out, “Jesus.”

He’s captivated by you, using one hand to hold you up and using the other to push the fabric further up, until your underwear is so clear to him that he sees the way the barely there lace fabric clings to your folds. You tremble at his display of strength when he holds you up, reaching for his shoulders to pull him against you. 

His mouth is back on yours as he moves, eventually throwing you onto the bed with far more force than he needed to whilst he kicks his shoes off. You’re about to do the same with your heels, though his hands circle your ankles before he kisses the skin there, “leave them.”

It’s a demand you don’t say no to, watching him while he bruises and licks your inner thigh, leaving trails of kisses while your breathing becomes heavier and the room becomes hotter, “Hyunjin.”

He responds to his name easily, your dress up over your hips as his tongue glides over your clothed folds, and you’re already gripping the bedsheets roughly. He’s teasing you slowly, so painfully that you’re a whimpering mess underneath him and can barely comprehend when he’s pushed the fabric to one side, his tongue circling around your throbbing clit. 

“Fuck, H-Hyunjin,” he groans, making your entire body respond as his mouth does wonders on your cunt, twisting his tongue into patterns before dipping it inside your entrance. 

“You have no idea how good you taste,” and you’re inclined to believe it, if only for the way you see his eyes hungrily gaze into yours while he’s teasing the bundle of nerves gently between his teeth. Your legs push against him, forcing his head back down with your hand that grips his hair, but he doesn’t seem to mind as you practically suffocate him. 

It actually urges him on, if anything, to repeat what he’s doing and adjust his pace, and you clench around nothing as a familiar coil twists in your stomach that never quite goes over the edge of letting go. 

“Please,” you beg, and it sounds like music to his ears. His hands grip your hips, pushing you down hard enough to bruise, and the strength he displays, seeing the way his muscle strain under his shirt and him between your legs makes you lose it. 

Your entire body lets go, thighs likely crushing him between you as your body lifts off the bed, but he doesn’t let go or stop, moving with you as his hands go to you ass, kneading the skin as you grind against his lips, your orgasm tearing through you as you scream his name. 

“Hyunjin… god, Hyun- fuck,” you’re shaking, near tears because his tongue won’t stop lapping over your clit, and you’re half off the bed tempting him to absolutely ravish you. 

“P-please,” you’re trying to tell him it’s too much, but you’re just as desparate for him to never stop. Though he lets go with an obsence sound as you fall back down, seeing his face glisten from the little light from the moon outside. 

“I’m not done with you,” you nearly tell him you don’t want him to be, but the words get caught in your throat when he starts to undress. You’d known he was muscular, if you hadn’t already before you defintiely knew it when he’d been holding you against the wall or pushed you into the bed, but seeing it was different.

His muscles were perfectly defined, creating beautiful shadows and light with the source outside, and you don’t realise how much you’re staring until he’s laughing at you, “that surprised?”

“N-no,” but it sounds rather pathetic and you can’t even try to make yourself sound more stable, for he’s taking his jeans off next, left in only his briefs that seem to strain a lot aganst his hard cock. It looks so tempting, though when you go to take his last pieace of clothing off, he grabs your wrists and pins them over your head with one hand, laying beside you.

“Don’t,” it’s another demand and you listen, legs squeezing together when he kisses you again. He’s so calculated with everything, pulling away to lean his forehead against yours, watching the way your face twists and changes in pleasure and arousal as he begins to unzip your dress. 

Your tits practically spill out once the fabric allows them to, and Hyunjin can’t contain his surprise to find the metalic jewelry in both of them. It’s the first time since coming into this room that you feel like for a brief second, you have the upper hand, “like them?” you twist your body slightly, enough for them to push together whilst he’s still bound your hands together. 

“You’re gonna kill me,” the zipper is completely undone, your dress now open at the front as he takes one of your nipples into your mouth. It’s foreign to him, to feel a metalic object in his mouth, but he doesn’t mind when he hears the way you start panting again. 

He swears you’re the sexiest woman he’s ever seen in his life, and he lets two of his fingers slip between your slick folds again with next to no warning, smirking when you cry his name out, “are you going to be good and come for me again?”

“Y-yes,” he grins, eyes falling onto yours to watch you, see the way your face changes as one of his fingers pushes inside you. The cold metal of his ring makes you clench, and he hisses at the feeling. 

“How the hell are you going to fit my cock if you’re this tight?” he pushes the imposing digit in and out of you, agonising in his movements before he adds another. Hyunjin feels the way you relax more and more, your chest moving up and down with heavy breaths as your eyes begin to close. 

He decides he doesn’t like that, sitting up in a way that allows his free hand to go around your throat, squeezing lightly. The shock makes you open your eyes, and immediately, he stops the small constriction in airflow, “good girl.”

You whimper, a crying sound that turns into a louder moan when a third finger slips inside you, “did you like that?” 

There’s a blush on your cheeks when you nod, and Hyunjin makes a mental note to remember it, “so you like it rougher?”

In a way, it doesn’t surprise him, but it makes him grin as his fingers push deeper, enough for you to arch up, though you’re flat on the matress again when his hand is back on your throat, “is this okay?”

He’s asking out of concern, even if you aren’t offering up much resistance, but he stops the grip he has on you when you don’t say anything first, “yes. Please d-don’t stop.”

“Hmm, you really act like a whore,” he’s grinning, feeling you clench around his fingers at the insult and more and more, his thought that you love to be degraded very much seems to ring true. 

He doesn’t warn you when his thumb finds your clit, nor do you expect it. You’d been so distracted by his fingers inside you and his insults and the hand occasionally on your throat that it was the very last thing you expected, realising how close to the edge you actually were when he teases you there. 

“Yes, yes, yes, don’t stop. Hyunjin p-please,” and how could he say no if you begged so nicely? He leans down, kissing the shell of your ear before he whispers. 

“On one condition,” you’re ready to give anything, feeling tears sting at the corners of your eyes from the frustration you feel, “you ride my cock like the slut you are.”

It pushes you over the edge, your eyes squeezing shut as your body pushes off the bed again, though he’s quick to push you down and hold you there with his free arm, fingers still deep inside you as your walls clench around him. His thumb is still teasing your clit, briefly stopping the motion to spit on the throbbing bundle of nerves before letting his saliva mix with your orgasm. 

Your come is along his forearm and even on his thighs with the way he’d been sat, but he’s relentless on not stopping, enough to send an afterwave of another shattering orgasm that has you squirting onto him again, and you’re crying and screaming his name over and over from pleasure that’s too much. 

He wonders if the whole house hears it, but honestly, he’s not that sure he cares, nor does he care how you’re spilling onto someone’s bedsheets. 

“H-Hyunjin,” your tired arms dig into his biceps, tearing the skin red, making him hiss, fingers slipping out of you before he slaps your pussy, your body arching off the bed when he does, “f-fuck.”

“Open,” you’re barely able to comprehend anything, but your jaw goes slack as you let two of his fingers push in, immediately sucking on his digits and tasting yourself on your tongue, “you made such a mess, princess.”

You groan, still shaking from your orgasm though seeing the way his thighs and arms are glistening in your juices. He looks nearly just as spent, breathing heavily, his hair clinging to his skin by his neck and forehead, but you don’t think you look any better. 

“Let’s take this off,” he helps you out of your dress fully, your underwear following quickly before he strips naked before you. Your jaw practically drops again, seeing his cock spring free and slap his stomach. You feel yourself get more aroused, and it doesn’t surprise you to feel some of your arousal stick to your thighs. 

“You look ruined,” he’s grinning, hand cupping your cheek as he admires the streaks of mascara and mess of light pink lipstick on your face. You still look beautiful.

You push your body up to sit on the edge of the bed where he stands, eye-level with his waist as your hands go to his hips. He seems to know what you’re doing, but he thinks he prefers you in a different position, “knees.”

It’s like you’re possessed, for you’re on your knees in an instant, your heels against your ass while the wooden floor digs into your skin, “open your mouth.”

You do as you’re told, looking up at him just as he spits into your mouth again. When you’re about to swallow it, he tsks, stopping you, “stick your tongue out.”

When you do, he’s grinning, seeing how eager you are to please him makes his cock twitch as he lays the tip onto your tongue. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen someone respond so eagerly, but you wrap your mouth around him immediately, eyes looking up at him wide and innocently. 

He doesn’t know how much longer he can go without fucking you. 

“Good girl,” you love the praise, even as your jaw aches slightly from his girth. His cock is long and thick, your mouth far too small, though you manage to push yourself about halfway before you’re chocking. 

Hyunjin’s hand goes to your hair, tugging it harshly to make you look up, and it’s that innocent look again, sucking on his cock like you’re starved, that makes him lose all reserve, yanking you back so his cock springs free again. You don’t get much of a warning when he leans down, hands going to your waist as he lifts you up rather roughly, making you yelp as your arms go around him. 

His cock is pressed against your folds, making you both moan as the tip grazes your entrance. You’re coating him in your slick, and he doesn’t waste a second to fall back on the bed first with you on top of him. Your small fingers find his cock whilst you lift yourself up, letting his tip push just past your aching hole as you let out a mewl. He’s barely a centimeter inside you and already, you feel painfully tight, “go slow… it’s okay.”

You nod, feeling him steady you by your hips to hold you up if needed, and even though it pains him considerably, he’s letting you choose the pace as he mostly stays unmoving. His cock feels like it’s splitting you open, clenching around him and making him hiss when you do, but you will yourself to relax and slowly inch yourself up and down on the bit of his cock that you’ve managed to fit inside you. 

“Hmm look at you… you’re being so good,” the praise makes you eager and willing, and he feels the way you respond to his words, slowly going an inch further. 

You don’t notice his cock fully inside you until you realise you’re fully straddling his lap, his head rolling back just seeing the way he’d disappeared in you. It’s the sexiest thing he’s ever seen, having you above him, naked and wanting. 

It’s absolutely agony for him to see you slowly bounce up and down, getting used to his length and moaning every time he bottoms out, your tits moving more and more the faster you go, and he reaches to pinch your nipples, teasing the pierced flesh as you whimper before slapping the skin.

“F-fuck,” he wants to move, be rougher, but he doesn’t unless you tell him he can, until you tell him you want more, “m-more.”

It’s like music to his ears, and he immediately begins to meet your thrusts, using the strength in his body to be rougher, his hands finding your ass and giving it a daring slap to see how you react. Your hands fall to his chest, steadying yourself while you bounce on his cock, and he slaps your ass one more time, harder, feeling the way your walls clench tightly around him when he does. 

“You like that?” you nod, a tired yes leaving your lips, and Hyunjin decides that maybe, he’ll let you rest a bit. Though his idea of rest is rather different from most, “sweetheart, let me.”

Feeling his cock leave you nearly makes you cry, but he’s turning you around so your back is to him, slipping himself back inside your pussy without thinking about it much, as if it's molded for him. You’re not sure what he’s planning as he sits up slightly, letting your back fall to his chest, pushing your legs up against your stomach so you’re folded against him, allowing him more control of how deep he goes inside you whilst his hands hold your ankles by your heels. 

You realise quickly that Hyunjin had changed the position because it would allow him to thrust into you faster, and he’s immediately relentless with his pace, making you cry out his name as every angled movement of his cock hits inside you beautifully. 

Your tits bounce deliciously, his mouth sucking hickeys onto your shoulder to hide his groans, one arm moving to hold you under your knees while the other finds your throat again, “you’re gonna come on my cock.”

It’s not a request but rather you being told, and you meekly nod as your fingers go over those around your neck, daring him to squeeze tighter. He does, fucking into you harder, hard enough that you wonder if his hips will bruise you, but your senses are overwhelmed and you can’t help it when your free hand goes to your clit, teasing the nerve just like Hyunjin had done earlier. 

It makes him lose it, seeing you pleasure yourself with his cock deep inside you and his hand around your neck, and he’s almost relieved when your body stops moving before it crashes into your third (or fourth?) orgasm of the night, screaming his name so loudly that he knows it was heard downstairs just as his cum spills inside you, coating your walls as you clench and twist in his arms, your sweat covered back sticking to his chest. 

Hyunjin slows, but he’s still thrusting into you, more languid as he pushes his cum inside you, and you let out a strained moan when you see him slip out of you, the mess of both your orgasms on his cock and spilling out of you whilst you try to regain your breathing. 

It’s peaceful first, as you lay next to Hyunjin trying to kick your heels off, though you eventually give up and he does it for you with a little laugh, though he's interrupted with a knock on the door. 

“Hyunjin, what the fuck did you do?” it’s not angry, but you recognise the teasing voice of your best friend and you immediately want to disappear. You’re convinced you can never leave this room again, or if you do, it’ll have to be through the window. 

“I was only trying to help,” you look next to you, about to hit Hyunjin for the way he’s teasing yet the way he lays there, so ethereal and practically glowing from the aftermath still panting, you can’t bring yourself to. 

“Ah, well I take it it was succesful?” there’s laughter, all good natured but it makes you hide in Hyunjin’s chest anyway, and the blonds heart practically melts seeing you push into him. 

“It would be very rude of me not to have been!” 

He kisses your forehead, the laughter fading away and whilst you know they’re only well intending, you know you’ll never live any of it down. If not from Jisung, then definitely from Minho, from what you could gather.

Or Seungmin.

“Are you okay?”

You look up at Hyunjin, seeing the very real concern in his eyes and it takes your breath away. Your silence, however, worries him, and his face immediately turns into a frown, “did I hurt you?”

“No! No, I’m just… tired.” 

He nods, understanding because he feels much the same, but he doesn’t really want to keep you in this mess. 

“Can you get up for me?”

You sit up slowly, his fingers running along your arm in patterns as he urges you on, smiling, “let’s clean you a bit. I’ll drive you to mine and you can shower? I’ll order us some food. How does that sound?”

Honestly, you could really use the meal. That, and food always tasted better when it was free. 

“I like pizza,” Hyunjin laughs, nodding as he does his best to clean up the mess on your body with the ruined sheet that he’ll have to throw on the floor for the laundry (or even burn). 

“Pizza it is.”

got nothing to say aside from feedback, comments, reblogs etc always appreciated and yeah... i got no defense hyunjin has me in a chokehold it's getting toxic fr

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