Never Thought I Needed Chae Angst Til Now

Never thought I needed Chae angst til now

can't remember to forget you - shakira | son chaeyoung

summary: is this love behind closed doors enough

pairing: guitarist!chaeyoung x fem!reader

themes: highschool au, weed, cigarettes, angst, fluff, music festival, rest of twice!, minor 2yeon, jooyeon and o.de from xdinary heroes

wc: 4.0k

a/n: FOR MY POOKIE WOOKIE CHAE'S POOKUMS (@nr1chaedickrider)

Can't Remember To Forget You - Shakira | Son Chaeyoung

“do you know why she always carries that guitar?” momo’s watching chaeyoung walk across the field. that familiar brown guitar case strapped to the back of the girl’s back. like an attachment to her body. quick paces as she crosses the lawn with fishnets and platform boots on, layers of necklaces bouncing along in time with her steps.

that signature dark lipstick.

damn, she does look good.

you look away from her, trying your best to concentrate since the start of lunch.

“she told me it’s her soulmate.” sana says back, digging into her jacket for a sweet candy, continuing to watch as chaeyoung crosses the field towards the other end of the school. popping a small chocolate in her mouth. “don’t know what that means.”

then sana looks down at you.

“hey you’re friends with her right?”

you’ve been gripping your homework since momo spoke of her name. taking everything in you to stay still and not watch as your not-girlfriend walks past where you sat. and she knows exactly where you sit everyday for lunch, she knows this exact route like the back of her hand. but still she chooses to walk past it, she used to stop and wave to you discreetly before leaving. instead she’s plugged into her headphones and walking right into the building.

“yeah, chaeyoung.” you just respond, trying to read the biology homework in front of you. terms turning into characters when you try to re-read the same question. but you can’t focus when your not-girlfriend has been ignoring you lately.

“right, that’s her name!” momo exclaims. then sana and her are back to bickering like siblings, all the while you’re trying to read this question again.

the cell cycle?

sana and momo, god knows why, have managed to flip themselves onto the grass and have their hand in each other’s hair pulling at it. legs and arms all over the place like they’re stuck to each other. you watch them briefly, trying to scratch each other’s faces. without missing a beat you turn back to your paper.

trying to refocus on the homework. anaphase…anaphase?

writing a few more lines across the page and munching on momo’s apple slices. you find yourself thinking about that stupid fight a week ago. you visited chaeyoung in her room, strumming her black guitar in her living room. weed filling the air as she tried different chords for her latest piece. one that she was discreet about.

you had visited her after she called you asking for a smoke sesh. and who are you to deny yourself the wonders of that green bud.

more than anything, you love the haziness of watching her play her guitar. especially when she plays that electric one she keeps tucked away in her closet. the shine of that black and white electric over the body and her tattooed arms expertly bending notes. dark hair falling over her face, while she closes her eyes and just lets her hands play freely.

hand flowing along the neck of the guitar, landing fingers in different, other hand holding a lit joint between her fingers. the smoke rising to the air. you feel your eyelids heavier as you lean backwards in the loveseat.

watching the way the body is laid on her thigh, adjusting her playing every couple of seconds. sometimes playing the metal bar for some vibrato, the sounds ringing bending the sound through your ears. she knows how it sounds when she plays it, looking at you with a smirk as you take another hit.

her eyes are low too, she always felt like her musicality shines when she’s not in her head. letting the playing speak for herself. coupled with the blue LED in her room, you think she’s gorgeous. a sight reserved for yourself. exactly why you are stuck here nearly every night, out of your own will of course.

admiring the art that is son chaeyoung. even more of a treat you can listen to the art she produces.

“you smoke?” you stuff your hand into your pocket, looking up suddenly. seeing chaeyoung hiding out behind the back of the school. after ditching class you were looking to just relax away from school, rounding out the back of the school. trying to jump the gate out back. and here stood in front of you was son chaeyoung. the last girl you would want to talk to her.

she keeps to herself in class, usually doodling or plugged into her earbuds. never speaking up, but you didn’t judge. here she is behind the school, flicking the ash off the end of her cig, earbuds in and a lock necklace dangling as she continues to stare at you. crouched down and phone in hand. her guitar case propped against the brick wall.

she stares expectantly.

you don’t even know what to say, knowing her for barely a year and never speaking more than two words. she takes another puff, pushing her lips into a circle before aiming the smoke right into your face.

immediately you step backwards, eyes stinging a bit from the cloud. the grittiness hitting your eyes, making you rub them and then you’re coughing a bit. the smoke hitting the back of your throat. chaeyoung laughs a little, staring up at you. you finally look at her again after wiping your eyes.

“want to try?” she says pushing herself up, holding the cigarette out a bit. you stare at the lit bud, her painted nails, all black. and the way her hand is covered in silver rings. each one more intricate than the last. you nod lightly. looking back up at her.

her eyes are dazzling too, little browns under the sunlight. you completely forget what you said yes to. she brushes her hand through her hair, pushing it back. and then she pulls you towards her, hand around your neck, pulling you in like a magnet. other hand reaching towards herself, taking a breath in of the smoke. your eyes in a trance as the lit bud lights with orange and reds. then she takes it away.

her hand on your neck, snaking around to your chin, thumb pressed on your chin. until you drop your jaw. letting her move you like a puppeteer. eyes staring at your lips, blowing the smoke right into your mouth. letting that dark smell fill your mouth once more. the airiness of her breath makes your hair stand.

woah.

then she pushes her thumb up, closing your breath once more.

“breathe it out.”

you let it flow out of you, that putrid smell making you scrunch your nose. she watches you amusingly, like a newborn deer taking its first steps. you barely know what you’re doing, it’s kind of cute.

then she returns that hand back to your neck, dragging you in for a kiss. one that makes your body freeze all over. your senses are all failing when all you can feel is her tender lips on your own. a hand pulling you in closely, and the smell of that awful cigarette between you two. she lets go of you, amusement still filling her face.

you step back. she throws the case right over her shoulder and walks away from you, rounding the corner of the wall. you barely catch the sight of her guitar case when your body returns back to you. a curiosity building within you.

you’re trying your best to listen in, an ear pressed against the door. she’s always in this music room, room 202. every single lunch she’s here, using the school amp to play her music. you know this because you’re the only one she’s told you about this spot. made you swear to secrecy, if anyone else were to find out that she played here, it would ruin her charm as she says.

like an obedient dog, you agreed. she doesn’t let you inside though, she never does. feeling so dumb for waiting outside like a kicked puppy, you’re ready to leave when you hear her singing.

since when was she able to sing?

a soft voice pulling at your heart, how you long to hear her voice again. standing outside with your hands stuffed into your pockets. listening to the girl in your heart vocalize through the confined walls.

you walk away from the room, tucking a cigarette between your lips as you walk outside.

some days are better than others, good days are when you can visit chaeyoung in her garage. watching her slide her hands across her favorite guitar. admiring the artwork draping the walls, like a cavern of her mind. a constant reminder of her artistic style and creativity.

stepping into the garage you can already smell the weed that’s been circulating the air. taking a second to breathe in that familiar scent before closing the garage door right behind you. chaeyoung is sat on her favorite amp. littered in her own artwork and spray paint by the lovely artist herself.

her head tilted down as she continued to play through different chords, each one prettier than the last. a pick between her lips as she concentrates on nailing the next measure. she’s beautiful like this, her favorite bunny tucked right at the base of the amplifier.

tossing the backpack onto her worn couch, you plop right in front of her. watching the way her nail polish shines in the lowlight of an old studio light. she gives you a small nod as she continues to play. eyes never leaving yours, even as her hands move quickly along the guitar.

you grab the joint that’s been lying next to her, taking a deep hit as she watches you. red across the whites in her eyes.

you lean back, letting the smoke go up, watching the cloud in the air as she continues to play. until she stops. setting the guitar down on her stand. and grabbing your hand, pulling you up.

“i missed you.” she explains, grabbing ahold of your neck, pulling you against her.

you let your body fall against hers, laying your head against her shoulders. her arms moving to wrap around your. both of you slowly rocking in her garage.

“i missed you too chaeyoung.” you reply softly. letting the weight of today off your body. and she continues to sway you in her arms. it’s warm, her hugs are always so warm. and today more than anything you need her near.

“tell me about your day.” she says softly, letting you continue to lean against her.

“it was tiring, you know how work usually is.” you explain, pulling her against you as you wrap your arms around hers too. “oh you missed it, jeongyeon confessed to nayeon today.”

you stand back up, and chaeyoung stares at you, nodding slowly as she sits into the couch. grabbing her favorite strawberry glass cup as she drinks it.

“good for them.” she says, placing the cup back onto the coffee table. you watch the way she stares at her guitar. reddish eyes that don’t look at yours.

sitting down next to her she barely lifts an inch to look at you. busy grabbing her music papers off the ground. stuffing them into her folder as she leans back. and you do the same. letting your eyes watch the ceiling fan. a constant rotating, almost like it’s stuck in a loop. and really you can feel yourself feeling the same.

the way that all you can do is wave at chaeyoung at school. restricted to the confines of these four walls to showcase your affection to your girlfriend. a reminder that the relationship that you two have only exists in this small space.

“chaeyoung, i want to be official.” you say gently, head turned to the side as you watch her side profile.

“baby, we are official.” she says, taking a hit from her joint.

“not to other people we aren’t.” you say, looking at her folded hands and the light thumping of her foot. “you won’t hold my hand in public, you won’t kiss me in public. why’s that?”

chaeyoung stares at you, eyes more opened as she watches you.

“why won’t you let my friends know about us?” you say with a bite. watching the way she continues to stare at you. lost in her own thoughts to offer up a response.

“i thought what we had here is okay.”

“i want more chaeyoung, you knew this.”

you explain, watching the slight twitch in her eyebrows.

the fiddling of her hands on her shirt.

“i don’t know.” you hear, and just like that you grab your backpack, tossing it over your shoulder as you exit the garage.

ignoring the pain in your chest as chaeyoung doesn’t bother to call out to you.

jeongyeon and nayeon are bickering like idiots in front of you. trying to step on each other’s calves to make each other fold over. you want to join in with them but lately, the fight with chaeyoung (if you can even call it that) has taken over your mind. instead you stand quietly next to mina. both of you watching the two girls, your arms folded over each other as you both walk in line for the music festival.

a little buzzing throughout your body.

the line continues to move forward and you can hear the distant music in the background. the loud chatter of everyone in line along with people lining the fields distracting you from the loneliness that’s been erupting in your heart.

drowning out the sounds like a muffled speaker, until your feet reach the front of the line. a fellow classmate staring at your student ID expectantly. a scanner in their hand, and you show it to them. taking a second to look at the enclosed festival space. with a quick scan, you move forward into the area. a large open field crowded with excited students buzzing at the talents that will be showcasing their skills on stage tonight.

the heat beating on your skin, a light layer of sweat setting. the smell of grilled foods enticing the senses of jeongyeon and nayeon. them waving you and mina as they stumble away to the food stands.

mina’s pulling you through the crowd, slotting you two in a small open space. eyes forwards towards the stage. the sight of the fellow classmates on stage, pushing and placing microphones around the stage. long metal pipes laid around the giant black stage, light strobes hung along the top facing the performers.

you keep picking at your skin, quickly grabbing a cigarette to slot between your lips. not lighting it but keeping it between your teeth as you roll it around. looking around hopefully for a head of blonde hair and that signature guitar case. instead you spot momo and sana in the back, giggling with each other before jumping to scare an unsuspecting jihyo.

you turn back around facing the stage. arms crossed as your eyes land on everyone huddled closely. tapping your finger against your phone as you beg for it to vibrate. anything for a sign of thought from chaeyoung. she hasn’t answered your message from days ago, a clear indication she was retreating back into her shell.

one that you often have to pull her out of, it’s just worse knowing that you are the reason why she’s retreating back.

you take another at the stage when you begin to notice the lights starting up, like a strobe light illuminating the dark stage. and out steps the administration, welcoming in the school spring festival.

you stare at your fellow classmates, some band members you can remember from your class. there’s jooyeon and o.de from english, along with their bandmates. eyes gleaming in the sun as they await their set.

the crowd shouts as they continue their set. and through all the pop rock songs the sun continues to set into the night. the low buzz of people talking and laughing filling the night air. jeongyeon, nayeon and jihyo promptly rejoining you in the crowd of people. softly singing along to the covers of the songs.

you watch as jeongyeon has her arms wrapped around nayeon. keeping her swaying in her arms. a deep feeling of longing in your heart as you stare at them. you even begin to feel a tear form before you snap out of it. the wind picking up as you continue to sing with mina. jooyeon and o.de giving their ending remarks and exiting offstage.

you turn to mina, offering her a light smile when she sees your distraught face all throughout the set.

while you’re busy reassuring mina that you’re okay, a head of blonde enters the stage. jihyo and jeongyeon are busy fussing and bumping into you. making you turn your sight to chaeyoung up on stage. the dark lipstick that she always sports on her face. along with that guitar pick necklace you gifted her as one of your first gifts.

the red of the mic in her hand and that guitar that she treasures most.

you wonder if she treasures you in the same way.

people have begun to notice her on stage. everyone knows of chaeyoung, but few knew her truly. they didn’t know how she liked to sleep with that exact bunny by her side every night. they didn’t know the way she liked her coffee. they certainly didn’t know about that tattoo on her back. they don’t know how hard she pours her heart into every song she makes.

they don’t know her like you do.

she takes center stage, eyes a little weary as she stares into the crowd. letting them sweep across the crowd. biting on her guitar pick as she stares out. and with a small huff she sits herself on the wooden stool. taking the time to adjust the mic stand. guitar laying on her body gently.

a reminder of every little ritual that you see when chaeyoung plays her guitar, all in front of your school to see.

staring at her as your body stills. not even the sight of jihyo and nayeon in your peripheral vision distracting you from your girlfriend.

“hello, i’m chaeyoung.” she scoots herself further back onto the stool. you can hear the cheers from the crowd. they’ve never seen her perform in public in all the years that she’s carried that guitar on her back.

everyone’s begging for a glimpse into what you admire so often.

“i know a lot of you have seen me with my guitar and wondered what i sing about? what i play about? who i play for?” she says, eyes continuing to stare into the crowd. she stutters a bit when her eyes land on you. hand gripping onto the red mic a little tighter.

“this song that i wrote, i wrote this based on my own feelings, and i wrote it for someone. please listen.” she says, taking a deep breath as she tucks a leg over another. letting the guitar rest it’s curve onto her thigh as she adjusts herself.

“this song is called ‘cant remember to forget you’, please enjoy.”

there’s light cheers and whistles as chaeyoung readies herself.

and I left a note on my bedpost

saying not to repeat yesterday's mistakes

what I tend to do when it comes to you

her voice rings out clearer than the sound of water drops. the speakers hitting your ears as if she’s singing it to you. like all things that remind you of chaeyoung, one thing is the constant sticky notes in her room. dedicated to remembering the things that she cherishes most, one of which was the first note that she wrote to you, asking you to be her girlfriend.

her eyes closed as she feels the music, hands moving along the guitar, and you can feel it, the emotions through her singing. a deep feeling as she nearly gets choked up. pushing through it to continue to sing. everyone around is swaying to her playing.

her eyes landing on yours once more.

she’s singing this to you.

only to you.

the way you make me feel, yeah

you got a hold on me, i never met someone so different

the way she continues to slide her hands over the different frets. standing up quickly when she feels the emotions running through her too. eyes ablaze as she pours into her emotions. people are getting into the song, everyone’s cheering loudly and staring at her. but she can only focus on you. the way tears are falling off your face. the way the lights shine on your face.

this song was made for you.

and only you.

the only memory is us kissing in the moonlight

oh-oh ooh oh, oh-oh ooh oh

i can't remember to forget you

the memories of running down the sidewalks. laughing loudly as her hands were in yours. a box of takeout in hand and flowers in another. the memory of her slowing you down to give you a kiss under the moonlight.

every memory of your love under the moonlight, or under studio lights. love that only you two knew. tucked away from the world and those around you two. she rocks into the beat of the song, letting her playing get her into the feeling.

the way you make me feel, yeah

you got a hold on me, I never met someone so different

her eyes are shining with tears too as she stares at you, you continue to stare at her. the way she can’t hold herself back when she’s singing. you’ve never heard her so vulnerable and open. a declaration of the feelings that she keeps away from others. and sometimes even you in turn.

there’s tears in her eyes but she keeps singing to you. like all great artists they need a muse, and for chaeyoung.

it’s you.

I can't remember to forget you.

she plays the last note, letting it fizzle out, and then the crowd erupts into a roar. everyone who ever thought she was strange for carrying her guitar everywhere is cheering in admiration. chaeyoung’s a talented artist. you knew this firsthand, but now everyone else knows it too.

the roaring in your ear feels like it’s muted, you can’t even hear them anymore. just the feeling of tears rolling freely, as she stares at you. her breath through the mic as she stares you down. that bunny hung onto the stand. she want you to know this song, it’s only for you.

only for you.

more people are cheering her on, begging for another song, erupting in chants of her name.

“i’m only performing this song. i hope it reached the person i wanted it to reach.” she says. grabbing ahold of her mic, guitar, and tucking the bunny under her arm. taking a short bow before exiting off the stage. using the sleeves of her shirt to wipe the tears off.

mina’s offering a tissue to you silently, and you wipe your tears away as she looks away. a sweet smile on her face as you excuse yourself to find chaeyoung.

eyes a little blurry from the tears as you head off the side of the stage. seeing her blonde hair in the crowd. she looks gorgeous. and then she spots you, running up to you. throwing her arms around you as she pulls you into a kiss.

taking the time to continue to kiss you even as you feel you nearly fall over. loud cheers and gasps as more people spot chaeyoung kissing you fiercely.

she leaves the kiss, eyes still filled with some tears but then she smiles at you.

“is this official enough?” chaeyoung smirks before pulling you into another kiss.

yeah, this is more than enough.

-- a/n: very late chae day fic hahaha !! sorry about that !! this is for my angst luver <33 angst4chaespookums lives on. stay safe and stay healthy everyone

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they are so annoying (affectionate)

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hwabyul4wheesun

10 months ago

royal sisters bonding time (celestia raises the sun at six to me and luna comes back at 5 so they have an hour or so to talk but luna usually just falls asleep lolol)

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hwabyul4wheesun

8 months ago

Nayeon noooo 😞

trust?

Nayeon discovers that her girlfriend, Y/N, has been hiding a serious illness, leading to a painful confrontation that threatens to break their relationship apart.

tags :: angst, illness, arguments

wc :: 1,571

cast :: nayeon, y/n

song :: waiting room - pheobe bridgers

Nayeon stands in the kitchen, her hands moving with practiced ease as she prepares dinner. The familiar sounds of sizzling vegetables and the rhythmic chop of the knife do little to calm the growing unease in her chest. You’re late—again. It’s been happening more frequently, and Nayeon can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong.

She glances at the clock, her worry deepening. Over an hour has passed since you were supposed to be home. Her phone sits silent on the counter, no response to the texts she’s sent. Anxiety gnaws at her, and she tries to push it down, telling herself that you’re just caught up at work, as usual. But a part of her knows that’s not the full truth.

Something has been off for months. She’s noticed it in the way you’ve been distant, the way your laughter doesn’t quite reach your eyes anymore. You’ve been coming home late, your face pale and tired, the dark circles under your eyes growing more prominent. Every time she tries to ask, you brush it off, claiming it’s just stress. But Nayeon knows you better than that.

The front door creaks open, and she feels a mix of relief and dread. She turns off the stove and moves to the entrance, forcing a smile as you step inside. You look exhausted, your shoulders slumped and your skin pale, as if all the life has been drained out of you.

“Hey, you’re home,” Nayeon says, trying to keep her voice light, though it trembles with worry. “I was starting to get worried.”

You offer a weak smile, but it doesn’t reach your eyes. “Sorry, got held up at work.”

Nayeon studies your face, her heart aching at how tired you look. She steps closer, reaching out to touch your cheek, hoping to offer some comfort, but you flinch away before she can make contact. The small movement stabs at her heart, a confirmation of the distance that’s grown between you.

“What’s going on?” Nayeon asks softly, her voice filled with concern.

“Nothing,” you reply quickly, too quickly, as you move past her towards the bedroom. “I just need to change.”

She follows you, her worry growing with every step. “You’ve been acting strange for weeks. You’re always tired, you’re late, and you never tell me where you’ve been. I’m worried about you.”

You pause in the doorway of the bedroom, your back to her. “I told you, I’m just stressed. Work’s been a lot.”

Nayeon hears the fatigue in your voice, but it doesn’t explain everything. “I know work is hard, but this feels different,” she says, her voice trembling. “I feel like you’re hiding something from me.”

You don’t respond, and the silence is deafening. Nayeon’s heart pounds in her chest as she waits, hoping for some kind of reassurance. But when you don’t say anything, the fear she’s been trying to suppress bubbles to the surface.

“Please, don’t shut me out,” she whispers, taking a step closer, her voice pleading.

Your shoulders tense, and for a moment, Nayeon thinks you might finally open up. But then you sigh, shaking your head.

“I’m not hiding anything,” you say, your voice flat. “I’m just tired, Nayeon. Can we drop it?”

Her heart sinks at your words. She wants to believe you, but the emptiness in your eyes tells her something else entirely. She nods slowly, swallowing the lump in her throat.

“Okay,” she murmurs, though it feels like a lie. “I’ll go finish dinner.”

You don’t say anything as you walk into the bedroom, closing the door behind you. Nayeon stands there for a moment, staring at the closed door, feeling the weight of everything unsaid between you.

As she turns to head back to the kitchen, something catches her eye. Your bag is lying on the floor, half-open, with a small bottle of pills peeking out. Nayeon hesitates, guilt pricking at her conscience as she considers going through your things. But the worry in her chest pushes her forward.

She kneels down and gently pulls the bag open, her breath catching when she sees the bottle of pills. Her hands tremble as she picks it up, turning it over to read the label. It’s a prescription she’s never seen before, and the name of the medication sends a chill down her spine.

She’s not a doctor, but she recognizes the name. The drug is used to treat a serious, chronic illness—something much more than just stress or fatigue. Her heart races as she tries to process what she’s seeing. You’ve been taking these pills, hiding them from her, hiding your illness.

“Y/N?” Nayeon calls out, her voice trembling with a mix of fear and anger.

The bedroom door opens, and you step out, your face going pale as you see the bottle in her hand.

“Nayeon, I can explain—”

“Explain?” Her voice shakes, tears welling up in her eyes. “Explain what? That you’ve been sick this whole time and didn’t tell me? That you’ve been hiding it from me?”

Your face crumples, guilt and regret etched in every line. “I didn’t want you to worry,” you say, your voice breaking. “I didn’t want to burden you with—”

“Burden me?” Nayeon’s voice rises, the anger taking over as she steps closer to you, her grip tightening on the pill bottle. “How could you think that? We’re supposed to be in this together. You don’t get to decide what I can or can’t handle. You don’t get to shut me out like this.”

Tears begin to stream down your face as you shake your head, looking more broken than she’s ever seen you. “I didn’t want you to see me like this. I didn’t want you to feel trapped, like you had to take care of me. I thought I could handle it on my own.”

“Well, you can’t!” The words burst out of her, her voice cracking under the weight of her emotions. “You’re not handling it, Y/N. You’re falling apart, and I’m watching you slip away from me, and I don’t even know why!”

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, your voice so small, so full of pain. “I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry isn’t enough, Y/N.” Nayeon’s voice shakes, the hurt and betrayal cutting deep. “You lied to me. You made me feel like I was going crazy, like I was imagining things. And now... now I don’t even know if I can trust you.”

The room falls into a heavy silence, the air thick with the weight of her words. You look at her, your face crumpling as the reality of what you’ve done sinks in.

“Nayeon, please,” you beg, reaching out to her, desperate to bridge the gap between you. But she takes a step back, shaking her head, her heart breaking at the sight of you so vulnerable, so lost.

“No,” she says, her voice firm even as tears blur her vision. “You don’t get to ask me to forgive you right now. You don’t get to make this okay. Not after what you’ve done.”

Your hand falls back to your side, and you swallow hard, tears streaming down your face. “I... I didn’t know what else to do. I was scared.”

“We could have been scared together,” she whispers, her voice barely holding together. “But now... now I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

The words hit you like a physical blow, and you almost collapse under the weight of them. The room is suffocating, filled with nothing but the sound of your ragged breaths and the unbearable tension hanging between you.

“I think you should go,” Nayeon finally says, her voice hollow, devoid of the love that once filled it. The words feel foreign on her tongue, but she can’t see another way out of the spiral you’re both trapped in.

Your breath hitches, your eyes widening with a fresh wave of panic. “Nayeon, please...”

“Just go,” she repeats, turning her back on you, unable to bear the sight of your shattered expression. “I need some time to think.”

You don’t move at first, as if frozen in place by the realization that you’ve truly hurt her, that you might have lost her. But then you take a shaky breath, forcing your legs to carry you toward the door. Each step is heavy, filled with regret and sorrow that you both know will linger long after tonight.

You reach the door, your hand grasping the handle as if it’s the only thing keeping you upright. You turn back one last time, hoping—praying—that she’ll stop you, that she’ll say something, anything, to make this right. But Nayeon stands with her back to you, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

With a sob of your own, you open the door and step out into the cold night. The door closes behind you, the sound echoing in your heart like the finality of something precious slipping away.

You walk away, the cool night air biting at your skin as tears stream down your face. You thought you were protecting her, sparing her the pain of knowing, but all you’ve done is push her away. The love of your life, the one person you thought you could protect by keeping your illness a secret, is now out of reach.

As you wander aimlessly, your thoughts a whirlwind of regret and anguish, you can’t help but wonder if you’ve lost

145 notes View Post

hwabyul4wheesun

7 months ago

🫠🫠🫠🫠

SO HIGHSCHOOL , HANNI PHAM

“you know how to ball, i know aristotle!”

✎ SYNOPSIS — in which hanni falls for the captain of the basketball team, despite you two being complete opposites.

✎ PAIRING(S) — yearbook/newspaper student!hanni x athlete!reader

✎ WARNING(S) — blood mentioned, injuries, kissing, lowkey rushed i wanted to get it out for her birthday 😭

a/n— ily yearbook girlie hanni pham!! also happy birthday hanni

it was unreal to haerin how her best friend had fallen in love with y/n. hanni pham of all people was deeply in love with you, someone who barely even looked her way. hanni even showed up to all your games making the excuse that it was so she could take photos for the school newspaper, but everyone knew it was just for you.

it was one of those days right now actually, hyein and haerin sighing as they accompanied hanni to make sure she didn’t do anything stupid.

you and your teammates were currently strategizing, the other team calling a timeout as your team was up by forty points.

“han what even is interesting about this, every game y/n makes like five threes and carries her team to victory. nothing else ever happens.” hyein complains, making hanni roll her eyes.

“and then she gaslights herself into thinking y/n shot them all for her.” haerin says, making hanni side eye her.

“all you guys do is complain,” hanni groans, “also i do not gaslight myself?! she really does shoot them for me.” hanni says.

“you’re insane.” haerin says simply, making hanni come back to reality.

“my bad.” hanni mutters, grabbing her camera again as the timeout concluded.

the girl had an insane amount of photos already, some of your best plays coming from this game. it was concerning how much of cameo you made in each new issue of the newspaper, it was actually something you noticed recently but you brushed it off and just thought you were having a good season.

you were running down the court waiting for a pass when a bright flash blinded you, making you groan. you looked up to see three girls in the stands, scrambling and yelling at each other. two of them were yelling at the girl with a camera on her neck, the girl having her hand over her mouth in shock.

“hanni you cannot be serious right now.” hyein deadpanned, looking at her older friend.

“I DIDN’T KNOW IT WOULD DO THAT?” hanni says, her hand quickly making its way to cover her mouth.

she would never recover from this, she looked down to see if you noticed just to see you staring directly at her making her heart drop.

“hyein.”

“hanni?”

“look.”

“oh my god.”

“i blinded the love of my life.” hanni says, sinking down into her seat.

“how do you manage to ruin everything.” haerin says, making hanni roll her eyes and ignore her friend.

your teammate hadn’t realized you weren’t paying attention, the girl throwing the ball to you for an easy shot. her jaw dropped when she saw you fall to the ground, the ball leaving a big red mark on your face.

the ref blew his whistle, calling a timeout in which all of your teammates ran towards you to figure out what happened.

“y/n what are you doing?!” yujin shouts, anger laced throughout her voice.

you didn’t even understand the girl as you just barely woke up from your small sleep, causing you to touch your head and feel blood.

“ah shit.” you curse, the pressure of your hand sending pain coursing through your body.

“y/n did you hear me?! what the hell are you doing?” yujin repeats, your other teammates concerned.

“yujin..” was all you could mutter before you saw black. you knew it was over, this was most definitely your last game of the season.

back up in the stands hanni couldn’t believe her eyes, all because of her stupid camera flash you were now injured.

“hanni, you actually just may have made the most insane fuck up of all time.” haerin says.

“i genuinely have no words.” hanni says, her eyes trained on you as your teammates carry you out the gym. the match even had to be finished early, with the lead your team had it didn’t even matter much.

if hanni even thought she had any chance with you before, it was most definitely gone now. she didn’t even know how she fucked up this bad.

—

the next day hanni anxiously tapped her fingers against her usual lunch table, danielle and minji confused at her unusual antics.

nobody knew what y/n was looking at while she was distracted, so it was a complete mystery to the two girls what had happened yesterday.

“hanni, are you good?” minji asks, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“yeah! just anxious about my spanish test.” hanni lies quickly, looking around after like she was being interrogated for a crime.

“um okay..” minji says, she knew there was no spanish test today (they had the same class..) but she chose to not question any further.

a small conversation picked up between dani and hyein, haerin sometimes chiming in with minji. hanni couldn’t even focus, she was so unbelievably worried about you.

hanni couldn’t get image of you on the ground out of her head, a lingering feeling of guilt following her everywhere. thankfully she had yet to see you, she knew she would probably break down.

hanni was also nervous that you would confront her, tell her that she ruined your life or that she was awful but she knew you wouldn’t. that was what drew her towards you. regardless of how your friends and teammates acted, you were the kindest person ever. whenever a new issue came out you would compliment her on her work, as hanni usually worked on the sports section alone. it was a simple gesture really, but coming from you it meant the world to hanni.

in conclusion the girl was smitten with you, and she wanted nothing more than to know you were okay.

—

hanni knew it was stupid. but she let herself walk into the nurses office, where you currently were getting checked on.

hanni thought it would be fine, considering they had a student nurse at the moment who she knew well. she walked in and greeted her friend, the older boy smiling at her.

“hi hanni.” huening kai greets the girl quickly, before turning back his attention to your wound.

“oh sorry kai, i didn’t know you still had someone in here.” hanni apologizes, knowing well she knew you were in there.

you stared at hanni in disbelief, you couldn’t really see her when you were on the court so her beauty amazed you. maybe it was okay that she blinded you, and also sort of caused you a major injury.

“no worries hanni! i actually need to go grab something from the main office really quickly, can you watch y/n for me?” kai says, to which hanni nods almost immediately.

“thanks! y/n keep your head down.” kai commands, noticing the way you sat up to look at hanni.

“oh yeah, sorry..” you mutter, laying back down slowly as kai left.

there was a moment of silence, before you sat up almost immediately alarming hanni.

“y/n you’re gonna—“ hanni starts, being cut off by you.

“it was you, wasn’t it.” you say eerily, further examining hanni’s face.

“huh?” hanni questions, her heart dropping to her ass. she didn’t think you would acknowledge it.

“it’s okay hanni!” you retort quickly, noticing the change in the girls demeanor.

“next time just wait until i actually make the shot.” you tease her, making hanni groan.

“it was really an accident i’m so so so so so so so sorry.” hanni mumbles just loud enough for you to hear.

“it’s fine hanni, your photos are actually really good. i use them on insta all the time.” you reassure the girl, taking her hand in yours making her unbelievably nervous.

“you do?” hanni says dumbfoundedly. (she actually knew that, she loved scrolling through your instagram, but you didn’t need to know that.)

“yeah, i mean you manage a whole section of the newspaper yourself for a reason. you always manage to catch my good side, it’s actually kind of scary.” you say, making hanni smile nervously.

“i just pay close attention you know, i love basketball!” hanni lies through her teeth, she didn’t know shit about basketball she just liked watching you play.

“oh really? who’s your favorite player?” you ask.

“um… lebron james?” hanni admits quietly, looking away in embarrassment at the way you burst out into laughter at her response.

“wow, you seem very well versed on basketball ms pham.” you say, still giggling at how unsure she sounded giving her response.

“i just— oh shut up.” hanni deadpans, noticing that you were now teasing her on purpose.

silence filled the room once again, causing you to lock eyes with hanni. you finally got to see her in all her glory, your eyes slowly scanning her face until they stopped at her lips.

she looked so kissable in that moment to you, the thought of her making you smile. what hanni didn’t know is that you were actually obsessed with her too, you’re teammates hated you for it always calling her the pretty girl in the stands.

you looked back up to see hanni staring at your lips too, making you ask a question on impulse.

“can i kiss you?”

another beat of silence, making you nervous.

“please.”

you wrap your arms around hanni’s neck, crashing your lips onto hers as she held your waist. you knew kai would be back soon but you didn’t care, you had been waiting forever for this.

the two of you only pulled away for air, addicted to the feeling of your lips on each others. though every good thing comes to an end, the two of you jumping at the sound of the door opening.

kai stood there dumbfounded, “you know what, i’m not even gonna ask.”

“um, y/n you’re free to go! after you’re done with whatever..” kai says, smiling awkwardly.

he quickly closed the door making you laugh, hanni hiding in the crook of your neck.

“never again.” she mutters into your neck.

“you sure?”

“shut up."

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hwabyul4wheesun

10 months ago

oc! using ibis paint this time her name is fae :)

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hwabyul4wheesun

9 months ago

Can honestly see Momo doing that-

saw a reel of a girl flexing and the caption said "physique update" but the text to speech said penis update and. that's something that momo would do

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hwabyul4wheesun

1 year ago

Its the truth, even tho this was your first smau it was the best one I’ve read so far

everyone adores you ー karina smau

❧ Synopsis Han Sohyun hates the idol industry and everything that has to do with it, when offered the chance to star in famous idol group Aespa new music video she warily accepts. What happens when she meets the girls and catches the eyes of a certain leader?

❧ Genre smau + written, wlw, idol!karina, actress!femoc, fluff, angst, comedy (?), idol au

❧ Pairing Karina x actress!femoc

❧ Warning kms/kys jokes, homophobic jokes, homophobic themes, angst. (will add more as needed and add tw to chapters that may need them)

❧ status: completed 01/23/24

❧ updates: n/a

❧taglist: closed

❧ featuring: aespa, han sohee (actress), yves (soloist?), kim jiyeon (bona), cha eunwoo (ASTRO), more to come..

❧ A/N this is my first au on here so please bare with me as i try to figure out how to format on here and such. it will be a bit messy at first cause again i’m tryna figure everything out. this isn’t an x reader however you can read it as one if you want, warning there is a faceclaim though. feedback and constructive criticism is welcomed and yeah enjoy!

profiles (un)talented gays | naevis kids

chapters:

bonus

final

812 notes View Post

hwabyul4wheesun

1 year ago

Who cried? Me I cried 🥹

This was the best fic I’ve ever read, highly recommend to anyone

hole in one — karina [smau]

⌕ pairing: karina/yu jimin x fem!reader/oc

⌕ synopsis: at one of the most prestigious universities in the country, where everyone is battling to be the center of attention, yu jimin is just a regular. people want her because of her beauty, but all she cares about is sharing her freaky stuff with her friends and passing her subjects. although there's one thing that might push her out of her comfort zone, revenge. when nakamura kazuha, one of the richest and most well-known students of NCU, starts to spread gossip about her for thousands of followers to see, jimin decides to get back by taking away the thing kazuha cares about the most: her perfect girlfriend, the young golf star, kwon haru.

⌕ genre: social media au, college au, sports au, high class au. comedy, fluff, angst, slow burn, non-idol.

⌕ warnings: main character is an original character. insults, swearing, kms/kys jokes, suggestive jokes grammar mistakes (english not my first language), will add on.

⌕ status: finished.

⌕ featuring: aespa, and members of le sserafim, seventeen, wjsn, monsta x.

— profiles.

karina's friends | haru's friends

— chapters.

• chapter 1.

• chapter 2.

• chapter 3.

• chapter 4.

• chapter 5.

• chapter 6.

• chapter 7.

• chapter 8.

• chapter 9. part 1 - part 2 - part 3.

• chapter 10.

• chapter 11.

• chapter 12.

• chapter 13.

• chapter 14. part 1 - part 2.

• chapter 15.

• chapter 16.

• chapter 17.

• chapter 18.

• chapter 19. part 1 - part 2.

• chapter 20.

• chapter 21.

• chapter 22.

• chapter 23.

• chapter 24.

• chapter 25.

• chapter 26.

• chapter 27.

• chapter 28.

• chapter 29. part 1 - part 2.

• chapter 30.

• chapter 31.

• chapter 32.

• chapter 33.

• chapter 34.

• chapter 35.

• chapter 36.

• chapter 37.

• chapter 38.

• chapter 39.

• chapter 40.

• chapter 41.

• chapter 42.

• chapter 43. part 1 - part 2.

• chapter 44.

• chapter 45.

• chapter 46.

• chapter 47.

• chapter 48.

• chapter 49.

• chapter 50.

• chapter 51.

• chapter 52.

• chapter 53.

• chapter 54.

• chapter 55. part 1 - part 2.

• chapter 56.

• chapter 57.

• chapter 58.

• chapter 59.

• chapter 60.

• chapter 61.

• chapter 62.

• chapter 63.

• chapter 64. part 1 - part 2.

• chapter 65. part 1 - part 2.

• chapter 66.

• chapter 67.

• chapter 68.

• chapter 69.

• chapter 70.

• chapter 71.

• chapter 72.

• chapter 73.

• chapter 74.

• chapter 75.

• chapter 76.

• chapter 77. part 1 - part 2.

• chapter 78.

• chapter 79.

• chapter 80.

• chapter 81.

• chapter 82.

• chapter 83.

• chapter 84.

• chapter 85.

• chapter 86.

• chapter 87.

— chapters 2.

[can't put more than 100 links in one post, so to see the rest of the chapter list, click here]

664 notes View Post

hwabyul4wheesun

1 year ago

Moon Byul 1st Full Album [Starlit of Muse] 🗡️ CONCEPT PHOTO : MUSE 🗡️ - MELPOMENE

704 notes View Post

hwabyul4wheesun

7 months ago

She’s so cute 🥰😭

credit

Fanservice Queen Hwasa 😂😍

506 notes View Post

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hwabyul4wheesun

~Hwa~

She/her • ‘04 • doesn’t know what she’s doing Loves Mamamoo a lotDoesn’t know why she’s talking in third person about herself Loves reading fanfics of any girl group

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