Hwabyul4wheesun - ~Hwa~

royal sisters bonding time (celestia raises the sun at six to me and luna comes back at 5 so they have an hour or so to talk but luna usually just falls asleep lolol)

and then hug! yay!

i love them sm

She’s so pretty 🥺

WENDY 240316 Wish You Hell ending fairy

This is the best thing you ever read in your god damn life

my knife that's bounded by your love

witch!son chaeyoung x witchhunter!reader || angst, fluff

synposis: you and the celestial witch you captured are forced to rely on each other in the harsh wilderness of the winter, and what comes after.

warnings: cursing ; blood ; violence ; suggestive content ; enemies to lovers ; attempted sexual assault (not by the reader though) ; posessive behavior

a/n: i threw this idea to @nr1chaedickrider in January and was motivated to finish this when the mood film of the with you-th mini album came out. :)

(this has been sitting in my drafts for the longest time now)

they were fast and fluid coming into the dead of night. 

chaeyoung is awoken to the snarling face of a man holding a knife shoved against the curve of her throat. she chokes a scream as the man buries a hand into her hair, dragging her out of bed. he’s spitting nonsense in a string of curses, calling her the bride’s demon, a whore, it was all in a flash but she could only focus on the terrified shrieking of her sisters outside. 

adrenaline is coursing through her veins, but all it could afford is her hyper-vigilance and panic. she stumbles along the ground like a newborn calf getting the first whiffs of the new air as the hunter opens the door and tosses her out into the cold. 

and then she sees the blood. 

the visible stark red stained on the blanket of pure white snow. the fair skin of her sister’s throat slashed through, pooling ruddy around her prone body. another one lies right beside her, face frozen in abject horror, an arrow sunk deep in the center of her chest. both were dead. 

dead. 

chaeyoung is consumed with pure rage, nearly blinding all thoughts as she twists around, senselessly as the blade cuts into her flesh, snapping her teeth at the man’s neck. the man snarls, whipping her head around by her hair, but as much as her vision swims, she doesn’t relent. wrapping her cold hands around his tense wrist and whispers an incantation, grinning while the man yanks his hand away with an agonizing scream, skin blistering through and puncturing hot, blood boiling just beneath, but her victory was only for a few moments. another hunter flanks from behind and kicks her knee out. chaeyoung collapses to the snow with a prolonged mixture of a groan and hiss, her woolen nightgown soaked through. 

her entire village had been razed to the ground, burned to a charred, cracking crips. the small wooden houses were nothing but ashy remains. her sisters all piled to form a large puddle swaddling in their own blood, their eyes empty of life and glazed over like a glass doll’s. screams echo around her in a grisly chorus, breaking through the air in all of its horror.

chaeyoung stifles a wince as a broad hand sinks into her hair and heaves her upward, shutting her eyes when the edge of the knife finds her exposed throat, unwilling to face her murderer, to give the hunter’s satisfaction of witnessing her fear.

“you deserve this,” the hunter whispers to her, their pungent, rancid breath warming the outer shell of her ear. “for trading your soul.” 

pressing the blade deeper, inciting a motion across, she holds her breath, lungs contracting, anticipating the rush of hot blood followed by the pain, before another voice, low with an ear-piercing command, asks, “what do you think you’re doing?” 

the hunter backs off immediately, and chaeyoung crumples back onto her hands and knees, panting hoarsely while clutching her neck. she glances up, noticing a pair of heavy yet sleek, black boots. her eyes lift upwards, trailing over woolen trousers and a dark brown, fur-lined coat, before lingering on a simple silver cross dangling from her neck.

the antithesis of her kind. witch-hunters. 

despite her vision being blurred, she finds your face. you’re nothing but with all harsh, rigid angles and sun-kissed skin, your slick hair and your lips chapped pink, the eyes were emotionless and burned like ice. you stare down at her, expression scornful, and lift your sword to her cheekbone. in a firm press, the blade sinks beneath her skin, blood beading against the cold steel; chaeyoung viciously bites her tongue, choking with a pained whimper. 

you then slid the flat of her sword beneath her chin, lifting her head again, turning it side to side to side and to side, examining her. 

she won’t touch me, chaeyoung realizes once the agony fades from her mind. she knows better. 

“is she the last one?” 

“uh.” vaguely, she notices the two other hunters glance at each other. “we’re not actually sure.” 

“do you idiots at least remember the one’s you’ve killed?” you ask again, clearly annoyed.

“well.” the hunter purses their mouth in thought. “first, we got rid of the wise women.” 

chaeyoung’s eyes pop with astonishment. she nearly keels over at the sudden wave of grief bursting through her body. the wise women were the oldest witches in the village, and the most powerful. for them to be murdered so easily and quickly—

“then the younger ones. the, uh—” 

the children, she supplies. but she won’t call them that. 

“and we went through the rest. they weren’t particularly difficult to get rid of. this village was festering with small pests and decrepit beings. we didn’t even bother going through the bodies.” 

“the both of you are morons,” you growl, abruptly furious. she has blood splattered across her angular cheek and collar. “we always keep one for information on how to find the neighboring villages. how else do you think we find them?” 

“y/n, we–” 

“and yet, here you were, about to kill this one when you haven’t even bothered checking if there were any others left to replace her.” 

you gesture at chaeyoung without giving a sense of acknowledgement, almost as if she’s a runt. the other two hunters have the gall to appear daunted. 

“i’m sorry, y/n,” one of them says, dipping their head. “we didn’t think of that at the time.” 

“like you guys actually would think about that. fucking dumbasses.” you spit, rolling your eyes. for a moment, you look back as there was a quick urge to lecture them more, before spitting on the ground, shaking your head. you snap your fingers towards chaeyoung’s direction. 

“if you boneheads want to be useful, then bind her with some rope and start bringing her back to camp. we’ll find some post to tie her until we can properly interrogate her.” 

so she’s the leader, chaeyoung realizes, wide-eyed at the realization, as a doting pit deepens in her gut. she speaks with authority, expecting to be obeyed right away. and to her utter shock, she is. the two grab a thick layer of robe, twining it around her wrists and locking them in place. chaeyoung glances up at them, imagining the thought of how amazing it’ll feel to hear them scream once she sets their blood to a boil, once turing the flesh into instant ice with a simple touch before setting fire to the rest. the same way the hunters did to her sisters. the resolve was already set in stone for her.

but the hunter, oblivious to the plotting chaeyoung was devising, simply glances down to her feet. 

“how bout we get some shoes on her,” you scoff, motioning to turn away. “the last thing we need is for her to freeze to death before even reaching back to camp.” 

it had been at least a half hour walk back to their encampment, and by the time they forced her back to the ground and tied her wrists to the wooden post, she’s half-frozen. they had put on fur-lined boots over her feet as you requested, but refused to give her anything else to battle against the cold. chaeyoung’s lips were dark blue, fingertips nearly blackened from the frostbite she’s getting. if she were to stay like this for any longer, she’d develop hypothermia once dawn breaks again unless she can get warmer clothes or a better shelter. 

chaeyoung grist her teeth, jerking her wrists hard. the rope bites back into her delicate skin and fights the wince away from her mouth, throwing her head back against the wooden post. 

she needs her hands to use her magic. the hunters know that. it’s the only reason why they’ve tied her like this in the first place. 

chaeyoung then closes her hands, trying to mentally block out the cold, the sounds of the rambunctious laughter as the mixture of men and women cheer in celebration at the destruction of her whole livelihood. she needs to keep her head clear to think, but the adrenaline inside her fades away as the only thing in her mind was the thick, displeasing smell of blood and death, the bodies of her fallen sisters. disgusted by the image ingrained in her head, blinking out tears as she remembers the sight of their slit throats and dull eyes, tiny hands fisting the soft snow as knives were thrust into them relentlessly. 

choking down a sob, tucking into herself and bowing her head to her knees. the youngest among them had only just turned six—a girl by the name of diana. as they dragged her away, chaeyoung had accidentally stumbled over her body back then, eyes up toward the night sky, bile moving upwards to her throat when she notices present arrow behind her back. the two hunters had shoved her forward before she could vomit it out. 

i can’t die, chaeyoung thinks despairingly, turning her eyes up to the unforgiving heavens above. i have to kill them first.  

in front of her, chaeyoung can see two male hunters circle around a fire, bundled up in heavy cloaks and sucking something whilst in their leather layered skins, their cheeks flushing red. they’re drinking, she realizes in distaste . they just wiped out an entire village of sleeping women and children and they’re drinking. impossibly, her loathing for them grew even larger. 

“hey, witch!” 

she narrows her eyes, tensing up her muscles when she notices the pair of hunters get up from the surrounding campfire and trudge over to her. their fur collars are painted with dried blood, lips tugging to a victorious grin and their eyes voided with nothing as they rove over her. chaeyoung is unsure if they see her as any different or more valuable than the wooden post that she’s bound to. 

as the pair approach, one of them—the very same hunter who had held a blade to her throat just a little over an hour ago—nudges her leg with their boot and gwaffs when chaeyoung growls at them. not noticing her fear, and even if the hunter did, they were actually enjoying it. 

“she’s a lively one ain’t it?” the hunter says to their friend, head tilted before giving a mere casual observation–one that makes her shudder. “but pretty.” 

“pretty, yeah. i think if you tried touching her, though, she’d rip your hand off.” 

“like she can do anything if she’s tied up like this,” the hunter adds, squatting down to match chaeyoung’s position. making the move closer, hand slowly inching up her leg, their eyes starving. chaeyoung snarls at the hunter viciously and curls in on herself, shaking with much intensity that she’s vibrating against the post, but the hunters laugh at her trembling image. the other hunter next to the first one leans down to the opposite side of her and another approaches the pair, indulging with a hand to her stomach, and she holds back a sob, vision swimming with a sickness in her stomach. 

“what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” 

the sense of deja vu electrifies her when she notices you storm over and grip the other hunter by the neck. you throw them off, kicking their stomach once hitting the ground before your foot met their face again in quick succession. 

“are you three out of your goddamn minds?” you snarl again, kicking the hunter still on the ground. “did you not understand the message of not touching her before the interrogation that i need to repeat to you?!” 

“fuck off!” to her small satisfying relief, the other hunter at her side jumps to their feet, clearly outraged. “we were just trying to have a little bit of fun! who cares if a skeptic whore gets fucked before we eventually kill her!” 

you sneer an eye-piercing glare. “would it be compelling for you to fuck a pig instead?” 

chaeyoung’s mind reels at that, the cold pit swallowing her body and blood rushing to their areas more urgently. the reason was all apparent and she still couldn’t believe with her eyes, she is less than human to them. even worse, she was no better than an animal that finds it fun to roll around in their own shit.

still, the sniding remark seems to give the hunters a new sense to their actions, and without looking at her, one of the fellow hunters pulls the other to their feet. they all walk back to their log, heads down in defeat, leaving you and the leader in the frigid silence. 

when you turn back to face her, chaeyoung pointedly conceals her lingering distress and refuses to meet her eye, staring above her. 

you cock your head to the side with a tsk, “they didn’t give you a blanket to use didn’t they?” observing her. 

“was that not purposeful?” chaeyoung snorts. “i thought the endgame was having me killed.” 

“not yet.” and before she can even bring herself to process that derogatory statement, you reach up and loosen the clasp at your collar, shucking off the heavy jacket and dropping it carelessly to her lap. she flinches beneath the weight, stomach turning inside-out at the pungent odor of blood and sweat, her body heat was too enticing for her to ignore, so she doesn’t shove the coat off. 

chaeyoung sees you cross your arms. the absence of your large coat doesn’t negate the gravity of your stature. you still loomed over her, shoulders broad and legs long. nothing about you seems faltering nor weak. 

“you’re from dunchon, past the mountain range.” you say, studying her closely. 

chaeyoung scoffs. do you expect her to be impressed? 

“and you want me to assume that observation had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you found my village in the mountains? that’s a clever deduction of information.” 

you shake your head again. “it’s your accent.” 

“and yours is from busan,” chaeyoung retorts. she recalls the very vague memories of her father. the way his mouth wreathes the syllables in a way that reminds her of him, although she diminishes the comparison as quickly as it forms, the notion now inconceivable; her father would never raise a weapon against their child. 

“so then your mother was a witch then? or maybe from your father’s bloodline?” 

“that’s none of your business.” 

“maybe the village elders took you in? you looked different compared to them.” 

“really? did you have a good look at their faces before or after you put your blades and arrows in them?” chaeyoung snaps back. 

your eyes flash with a wick of temperament before you lowered herself to her knees, grabbing her face. the small cut through her lips burning at her touch and the sudan proximity dives her heart to her stomach. 

“you happen to forget who i am witch,” you growled, voice lowly with a rumble. “i only kept you alive so that i can get information out of you, not out of some sudden change of heart. i could care less about killing you–” you then squeeze her jaw hard; a punctuated threat—”so when i ask you about something, i expect an answer for them.” 

chaeyoung scowls through your grip, cheeks pushed up high, tongue slurring her speech. “pigs. can’t. speak.” 

your growls again with incense, quickly rising back to your feet. scrubbing her hand down the fabric of your trousers before jabbing a finger at her. “i won’t waste my energy with you.” 

“then you have all the reason to kill me now,” chaeyoung spits again, glancing down at your long fingers, at the blood and gore that was embedded beneath your nails—and, my, isn’t that a rare sight? “you have big hands. you can snap my neck into two if you wanted to.” 

“oh, believe me, witch,” you say, eyes shining. “i’m dreaming of it.” 

you and chaeyoung glare into each other’s eyes in the fraught silence for several long, excruciating moments. chaeyoung’s heart rails painfully against the encapsulated walls of her chest, hackles raised as she watches your expression shift from murderous contempt to a more tortured resignation. you exhale deeply and pinch the bridge of your nose. “we’ll speak again tomorrow. and you will answer my questions. i don’t care what i’ll have to do to make you.” 

“is there any guarantee you can give me beforehand so that you won’t slice my throat immediately after you get what you need?” 

you send a smile to her that’s all teeth. “i guess that depends on what you give me.” 

without a parting glance, you turn on your heel and walk past the fire and into a large tent on the other side. chaeyoung glowers after you, burning with an indignation even as her body shivers from the chilling winds. in a brief moment, she contemplated throwing your cloak and kicking it to her bound hands so that she can set it ablaze under her fingertips; but that would be ridiculous, even she knows this. at this rate she’ll freeze from hypothermia sooner that she’ll die beneath your blade. she has to play the long game and prioritize her mind over her pride in any hope of surviving this. 

just then, another gust of an icy breeze rushes past, upsetting the flaps of the tent before settling a chill down to her marrow, shivering violently, instinctively ducking under your the furs of your cloak to shield herself from the cold, stifling down the urge of resentment for your inadvertent help. the acceptance of this felt way too piercing like the sting of betrayal. 

survival, chaeyoung desperately reminds herself. survival over your pride. the wise women had drilled this lesson into her head for years now. a witch does what she has to in order to survive. they are such a hunted class; it was the only way that they can protect themselves. 

she whispers this mantra to herself as the warmth from your cloak begins to pull her to sleep. survival over your pride. she almost starts to believe it. 

chaeyoung wakes up the the sound of shuffling, light steps against the powdery snow with a wet crunch the next morning.

she moans softly, eyes fluttering as she pushes herself upward to stretch her back, only to freeze at the sight of a large wolf pacing in front of her. it’s a frightful looking creature, an eye gouged out and it’s red teeth, a lonely fang peeking over its lips. pink saliva drops from it’s muzzle, blood coating it’s tongue and pale grey fur. behind it, the hunter who held a knife to her throat—touched her, called her pretty, a skeptic whore—lies on their back, eyes glazed over, blood burbling from his open mouth. 

their throat had been devoured through. 

she inhales sharply as she whips her head away, wild gaze darting around frantically until she spots the circle of prowling wolves at the campfire, snouts buried in the bodies of the four other hunters, half-eaten and choking in their own blood, fingers twitching and mouths moving reflexively screaming. some actually looked to still be alive. 

bile rose up from her stomach again, disgust trumping the venomous hatred. she’s stunned to realize that the sight of their violent demise does little to bring her any sense of relief, only horror. 

but the brown-eyed one. the thought storms through her like a jolt of electricity. the one they called y/n. where is she? 

she jerks forward like second nature, her raw wrists scraping against the coarse rope, but she doesn’t realize the sensation. her eyes scan the environment, seeking you out. maybe—

the sound of her struggling alerts the wolf in front of her. pausing before turing its giant head to her slowly and chaeyoung meets its glowing golden eye, feeling her blood run ice-cold. it steps closer, hackles raising, lips pulled up to reveal red teeth primed like daggers. she panics at the low growl that rumbles from its chest, yanking her wrists against the post with a renewed motivation. her range of motion is severely limited; she feels blood begin to smear around the rope as her flesh rips, but she doesn’t care. she can’t afford to think of anything but escaping. 

“come on!” she spits out, swallowing down a sob. “i am not dying like this! i refuse to!” 

the wolf snarls at her loud cursing, nipping away at the mountainous cloak, and chaeyoung jerks her wrists again, harder, only for the rope to cut deeper into her skin. she hisses through her gritted teeth as tears cling to her lashes, despair building up, clamping down like a vice around her throat. she peers up at the twinkling, merciless stars and whispers, “please.” 

and then—suddenly, fatefully—a large, black-gloved hand grasps the wolf by its long sound and slits its throat before it can even fight back. the wolf’s vicious snarl putters off into a pained yelp as it collapses onto the floor, hot blood turning the snow red. chaeyoung’s vile gaze darts upward to see you panting with exertion, crimson splatter across your face and clothes. a heavy weight lifts off her chest, light as air, that she wasn’t convinced that it was relief; she couldn’t call it anything else either. 

but then you step towards her, arms outstretched, daggers brandished and glinting red beneath the pale moonlight over you two. chaeyoung jerks, just as afraid as before. 

“get away from me!” she screams, struggling frantically. “if you touch me, i’ll–!” 

“you’ll what?!” you sneer, before ducking behind her. chaeyoung tenses, anticipating a stab in the back, but is surprised when she feels her binds loosen instead. the rope snaps, cut through, and she yanks her arms towards the front of her body. smeared blood covered her wrists, stark against her fair pale skin, and she smothers a wince as she rolls them, every motion sending shockwaves of pain stinging down her nervous system. she could barely feel her muscles. 

you move to her front, eyes catching her mutilated flesh. “you cut yourself.” 

“because you tied me up and i was trying to escape!” chaeyoung snaps, flustered. “that wolf was going to eat me and—and why did you kill it? y-you saved–”

“for the same reason why i killed all the other ones.” you gesture behind your shoulder, and her eyes widen spotting the slow-bleeding bodies, arrows lodged in their sides. she didn’t even notice it at all. 

you turn back, and it’s then that chaeyoung notices the dark, wet stretch of fabric over your shoulder, the puncture wounds of teeth marks against your exposed skin. she gasps loudly, surging towards you instinctively. “you’re wounded!” 

you grasp her hand, squeezing it tightly till the bone creaks. “don’t even think about touching me,” you snarl.

“you’ll bleed to death.” 

“and i’d rather die than be touched by your demon magic.” 

“it’s not demon magic!” chaeyoung argues, before narrowing her eyes, pressing closer. you tighten your grip again, but she isn’t fazed. she’s freezing cold and injured and she can’t move without feeling like needles poking beneath her skin, but all it does is solidify her resolve. survival over pride. 

“you need me,” chaeyoung says. “your hunters have been slaughtered, you’ve exterminated the closest thing we have to a nearby civilization only a couple hours ago, and you’ll die from either the cold or blood loss before you can find anyone else to help you. so let me.” 

you glare at her, brilliant eyes flashing with a hint of loathing. she can basically see your internal debate, and how your mind wrestles at the thought between throttling her to the ground or taking up on her offer. finally, and with a pointed squeeze, you drop chaeyoung’s wrist and sneer. “do what you need to do.” 

chaeyoung blinks, startled by your acquiescence, but reacts quickly. she settles her cold hand over the slope of your neck and closes her eyes, reaching inside herself for that shimmering pool of magic, as vital as the beat of her heart. her lips move, and beneath her palm, the skin on you starts to stitch together, healing the torn flesh underneath. the effort saps most of her energy and when she’s done, she limps over you, exhausted and freezing again. 

your chest heaves, in a surprise shock, gaze still on her with wide eyes. chaeyoung swallows tightly, voice croaking. 

“do you still plan to kill me now?” 

the silence stretches the air again, too long for comfort, but not enough to be anything stupefying. your hands find her shoulders, and you wrench her back, gazing down at her, everything about her was a big question mark, a debate in morality. chaeyoung’s surprised as well, then, when you stand up and tug her up with you. you grab your cloak, tucking it tight beneath chaeyoung’s chin, before swooping down and lifting her over your shoulder. chaeyoung grapples against you, stunned when she feels you place her hands around the nape of your neck. 

“i thought you were going to–” she gasps out. 

“are you so used to deceit that you actually expect that i’d kill you after you just saved my life?” 

chaeyoung blinks, shaking her head numbly. despite how predictable and simple minded you and your hunters were, she couldn’t make sense of you. “i-i thought you were going to. you wanted me dead.” 

“i still do want you dead,” you say easily, and it cuts into her scattered thoughts like a swift blade. “but then i decide. your death belongs to me. not to some rabid animal, and not to the cold.” 

yet, the cold is what is consuming the both of you now. dragging in her back down from the clouds of confusion and into the hellish earth with you. 

“then do it,” chaeyoung whispers dimly. 

you shift her into your arms, carrying her bridal style. “just you wait.” 

you were forced to stop not even an hour later when you see chaeyoung turning blue.

chaeyoung doesn’t know why, exactly; she stopped feeling the cold about half an hour ago, which he insists is a problem when she haltingly informs you later, a tongue a mere stone in her mouth and her voice slurring. 

you set her down against a tree when you see a small cave that will be good enough to keep you guys away from the harsh elements. chaeyoung watches you, dazed, eyelids heavy as you build a fire fast with just scattered pieces of dry wood and skinny sticks. once fanned to a successful height, you turn to her. 

“do you feel warmer now?” 

chaeyoung could barely move her lips. she wasn’t any warmer, but she wasn’t any colder either. her blood drifting along like ice in her veins, sluggish and thick. 

“are you ignoring me, witch?” you snap. she makes a reply, but your annoyed expression suddenly shifts, shuffling closer and leaning down to reach inside your cloak so that you can touch your hands. you seethe through your teeth at the temperature of her skin, your rough palms skating past her scarred wrists to rest on her upper arms. 

“you’re as cold as ice,” you mumble. “and you’re so stiff. you should be shivering like a newborn fawn.” 

chaeyoung moans softly, shifting her head against the tree as her lips purse, eyes getting heavier and heavier. a sinking drowsiness tempting her to sleep, but before she was able to closer her eyes, you swat her cheek lightly with your fingers, holding a stern expression. 

“stay awake. you have hypothermia,” you say, sliding your hands up and down chaeyoung’s numb legs. 

“i…could’ve told y-you…” 

“then why didn’t you say something to me before?” you snap with a frustration in your voice. chaeyoung notices that you’re a volatile person, your aura generous with an explosive punch. in the span of an hour, she loses track of the multitude of things she’s heard you condemn and curse at. 

“cause i’d rather the cold…kill me than you,” chaeyoung slurs out lazily. 

“that’s a bold lie. you’d rather kill me first.” you say as you pick her up again, setting her down on your lap in front of the fire. chaeyoung wants to resist this hold, revolted by the proximity, but the mantra of the village elders comes back to her mind again: survival over your pride. she barely has a choice to make in this. 

chaeyoung leans against you, allowing to tuck her face into your shoulder. your hands slide down to her boots, fingers dipping over the lining of fur, testing its viable warmth before rubbing them up and down her legs. when she begins to shiver violently, you drape the cloak around the both of you and blow hot air into her icy hands. chaeyoung mumbles nothing but complete gibberish against the curve of your neck, struggling to make sense of your actions and with irritants in her body’s appreciation of them. 

“w-why are you…doing this?” chaeyoung asks, forcing her stiff lips to move.

“doing what?” 

“keeping m-me warm. s-saving me f-from the wolf. is…it b-because you’re th-th-thankful?” 

“thankful?” you spit in disbelief. your motions going against chaeyoung’s shoulder in a jerked fashion, belying his wave of anger. “i could never feel gratitude towards a witch.” 

“then w-what?” 

“you said it first. we need each other to survive. i’d recommend you start worrying about your fate the second you suspect you’ve outlived your usefulness.” 

chaeyoung feels a resentment boiling in her chest, appalled by the objectifying language you spat out–-like she’s an elderly bloodhound she’ll have to take down—but it doesn’t surprise her either; you hardly even think she’s human. 

but despite the growing instinct to dismount herself from you and lose her battle to the elements, chaeyoung knows that you were right. that she is. the mountains in the dead of the winter weather was merciless for either of them to survive on their own. if she could grab the dagger from her belt and slit her throat right now, her thirst for revenge and vengeance might be sted, but her fate would already be sealed; she won’t last a week out in the cold without you.. 

a substantial part of herself almost didn’t care about it anymore, the satisfaction of her over your dead body would just be enough.

“get some sleep,” you whisper, oblivious to her internal conflict. “we’re gonna have a long day tomorrow.” 

everything inside chaeyoung rails to do the complete opposite, if only to displease the needs towards you, but she’s too exhausted to be defiant, and the fire and bumpy slide of your fingers against her skin felt nice. her head drops, slipping down to your chest and within minutes. she’s dozed off to sleep along with you. 

the next morning she wakes up in the cave, bundled up to her ears in both of their cloaks, positioned against the rocky wall. you squat in front of the fire, pacing away from the mouth of the cave. when you notice that chaeyoung’s awake, you pick up a rabbit leg and brush it against her nose. 

“can you move?” you ask burly, “are you any warmer?” 

chaeyoung blinks, surprised at the caring question. the offer, and wriggles around a little bit. she was pleased to find that her blood actually feels like normal blood again, and reaches out, taking the food from your hand. she turns the leg over curiously with lips pursed.

“don’t worry, it isn’t poisioned.” you scoff. 

“why should i believe you?” 

you then abruptly snatch her wrist. chaeyoung flinches, expecting your grip to tighten up, almost to break bone, but all you do is lean forward to take a bite out of her rabbit leg. your jaw works as you chew while leaning back, eyebrows raised as if to ask, there? is that what you wanted? 

chaeyoung couldn’t think of a proper response. dazed, she brings the food to her mouth. 

“if you can walk,” you say, as you eat. “we should start moving. i would like to make the most of the light that we have for today.” 

she swallows before asking, “for what?” 

“what do you mean, ‘for what?’ we’re stranded. we need to find some place other than here closer to the kingdom.” 

“and what happens after that? do we go our separate ways? or do we kill each other like civilized people?” 

you bare your teeth into a mean grin. “i suppose that depends on how i feel when that moment comes.” 

chaeyoung frowns, leaning against the wall, unmoved by your cruelty. under your cloak, she attempts to wiggle her toes, frustrated by the effort. “i still can’t walk,” she mumbles, ashamed, “not really at all. my limbs still feel too weak.” 

you shrug, gnawing on your own rabbit leg. “i’ll carry you.” 

“are you sure you’ll want to?” she snaps, looking at you. her fault, she thinks, self-pity morphing into indignation, depsisting you anew. it’s her fault. “you don’t want to chop my legs off first? just to make me an easier weight to lug around?” 

“choose your words wisely, witch,” you warn, eyes glittering with malice, the thrill of an enticing challenge, if only she’ll invite her to go that far. “if you tempt me with more exhilarating ideas like that, i might have to listen to you.” 

chaeyoung glowers darkly at you. a million insults running through her mind, each more rancid than the other, but he obvious revelment in her rage keeps her from speaking it. you had enough victories over her, she decides. 

instead, she turns away from you, gnawing a piece of the rabbit’s thigh into her mouth. 

the first day of ‘real’ traveling through the harsh tundra. nothing but back and forth of bursts of trudging through the snow. it was nothing but a chore for you to ensure that chaeyoung was arm, heating her up when needed, all that in between carrying her. that was the deal. she also notices how quickly susceptible to the cold that left you, the instinct to help you leaves her unsettled but all leaves a simple justification: survival your over pride. i still need her. 

two days pass and chaeyoung feels somewhat recovered. moving her body more and more idly and she’s able to walk farther distances without you having to sweep into your arms every time she cracks in the cold. it was already difficult as it is, food being scarce, the winds pinching away at the skin. the both of you realize the condition that you’re in and she’s the first one to bring it up. 

“we’re lost aren’t we.” 

you stop, the ground breaking under your feet. already, she can sense the annoyance. “what?” 

“we’re lost,” she says again, looking around with an arm flared out, “we’ve passed this tree five times now.” 

you face her irritably, “i know how to move around these woods. we’re fine.” 

“you’re so unbearably blind.” chaeyoung protests, “have you forgotten that we’re stranded on a mountain, and in the middle of nowhere? we don’t have clothes, no shelter, and we can’t even scrape up food up for–” 

“i’m a fucking hunter!” 

“well you can’t hunt now! the animals around here are hibernating! the only reason that we’re still alive is that we’ve been lucky to not die yet!” 

“no.” you walk over to chaeyoung, up close. she could see the snowflakes petering over your long hair. “we’re only alive because of me. i was the one who lit the fire. i hunted for food. and i was the one who found the cave.” 

“and if we both die it’ll be because of you.” the wind blows against them, hair whipping up shivering, ducking into you reflexively as the sole shield radiating body and warmth. you oblige easily, raising a hand to cover chaeyoung’s face from the chill. the hypothermia was becoming more apparent, you both needed to depend on each other. 

“okay,” your voice rumbling against her cheek, “i’ll find us something soon, hopefully.” 

chaeyoung doesn’t thank you however, the shame was over her head greatly. you step away to start walking and she follows along just after. 

it had already turned to dusk when the two of you stumbled at a cabin. the blizzard was already hindering your vision, you drag chaeyoung by the wrist, heaving all that you could despite how slowly she was moving. 

in a wave of positive relief, the door wasn’t bolted down and the knob easily surrendered to your grip. shifting chaeyoung to a bridal carry as you walk past the door frame, she slumps alonsgide your chest, stars in her eyes spotting the large bed with a steep pile of fur blankets and a fireplace. 

“god,” chaeyoung sighs out with a smile tugging her lips. “w-we might actually s-s-s-survive this.” 

you drop chaeyoung to the ground suddenly, a startled yelp as she steadies herself on her feet, still weak.

“you had to remind me that you’re a skeptic just like that.” you mutter, pushing behind her. 

chaeyoung primes a scowl amidst the passing thought of you forgetting and asks cooly, “d-did i offend your high sens-s-siblities?” 

“you’re funny.” you snort kneeling at the fireplace, fingers trembling as you attempt to get a fire starting. 

“you m-m-might have h-hyopthermia,” she says.

“and if i do, then you do too. it seems my cloak and your thin nightgown did little to protect you from the cold.” 

“n-not my fault for being underd-dressed. i was ya-yanked off my bed in the m-middle of the n-night.” 

you roll your eyes.

chaeyoung watches you work in the howling silence. you had found the discarded logs in a set corner of the room and tossed them into the pit. you worked fast however, lighting a spark beneath your flint and steel, fanning the embers until a steady flame appeared in the thin air. 

“this place reeks.” you say, leaning back while chaeyoung huffs. 

“it’s y-you. your clothes stink.” 

“because i’ve let you use them to keep you warm. i’ve been doing all the work here.” you say, standing up. you sniff the collar on your back, chaeyoung nearly laughs at your srcunched face in disgust. “you are right, our clothes are dirty.” 

“i can w-wash them tomorrow.” 

“good.” 

chaeyoung nods and turns around, scanning the darkinteriror. there was a simple rack placed against the wall–probably for clothes and other essential wear, there were some utensils. no kitchen but the hearth, but after fighting against the cold with the food being cooked over a small fire, even that seems something worth celebrating. she smiles, turing around to face you again.

“s-say, you think tomorrow you’ll b-be able to–” 

your shirt was off. 

she wasn’t sure why the image of you strikes her acutely as it did, but it was there and you were shirtless. your black coat, knit sweater, the layered tunics, and your sweaty bra lay at your feet, leaving you in your pants and boots, discarding those right after. when you catch chaeyoung’s eye, she twists away, blood boiling under her skin. 

“w-what are you doing?!” she demands loudly, flustered that her head is ringing. “why are y- why are you na- are you really–?” 

“because our clothes are wet and we’ll both die of hypothermia if we don’t warm our bodies up quickly,” you simply reply, “and you did say the smell.” 

“i-i can just wash t-them!” 

“with what!? we don’t have soap.” 

“i can use my–” 

“i’m not an idiot like the hunters i brought with me, witch. i know that your magic needs an output—your hands—and something solid. you can’t just will things with air alone. it’s either you get your clothes off or we both freeze to death. the nightgown you’re wearing doesn't do much as it already is.” 

chaeyoung stares at the wall, fingers bunching up against her sleeves, which are half frozen and stark cold. even with the fire gradually heating the small cabin, she’s still shivering, fingers hinted purple. it’s a decision she has to make. 

“fine,” she snaps soon after, reaching for the hem of her gown, “but if-if you look, i’ll–” 

“my heart won’t dance for a desire to see you barren, witch. in fact—” you toss a large pelt of fur at her, making her gasp at the weight of it. “cover yourself when you’re done.” 

she frowns but nods silently, glancing over her shoulder to see if you’re looking (you weren’t) and pulls the gown over her head, tugging the socks and underwear off as well. covering herself with the fur, exhaling through her closed teeth. when she approaches the fire, you look over to her, ears slightly hinted with pink, lips and eyebrows clasped together on themselves at what chaeyoung was doing.

“are you seriously trying to warm yourself in front of the fire? have you no knowledge of proper warming techniques?” 

“what?” chaeyoung asks defensively. 

you sit up, the blanket draping to your waist, exposing your skin and the tailored muscle of your upper body. “we need to share body heat to stay warm.” 

chaeyoung blinks rapidly, flustered. “but we’re naked.” 

“that’s kind of the whole point of this thing.” 

“if this is some attempt to–”

“what?” your eyes flash at her challenge, daring to say what she can bring herself to think straight, and after a few moments, she turns away and sighs out. 

“alright,” she starts off, crawling towards you, keeping the large fur on her body with a skin tight grip. “but if you have the slightest thought of—”

“i’d rather feed myself to the wolves than to touch you.” you spit out in frustration. chaeyoung feels a small hint of dismay. your disgust is a doting reminder that you don’t consider her to be a human being. 

the thought chills chaeyoung even after she’s snuggles herself beneath the covers. her skin easing up with shivers, startled when you grab her shoulder. 

“relax,” you say, inching closer. your eyes were shining with utmost intensity. “this is how we survive together.” 

you huddle closer, your hand slipping through her naked waist  and dragging chaeyoung up against you, pressing chests together. a punched out exhale and trembles with so much force that she feels the vibration to her bones. your skin was cold like hers, but there's a small relief with the contact. chaeyoung knows this is how we survive together, and places her hand on your neck. 

you tense at the contact, growling with a flush of pink on your cheeks. “what are you—?”

chaeyoung hushes you. “i’m warming you u-up, mean hunter.” 

you zip your lips after that, eyes getting hazy and after a few seconds, you tap chaeyoung’s hand off. 

the heat loosens your limbs as it grows between you two. chaeyoung sighs, her wet hair brushing against your neck as she shifts. you whisper, “l/n.” 

“what?” 

“my name, y/n l/n.” 

she already knew that though. “okay.” chaeyoung huffs out.

“what’s yours? or should i keep calling you witch.?” 

chaeyoung doesn’t want you to call her anything; names carry so much weight; putting a face to it, making them stand out and different than others, but the warmth must’ve softened her under the covers because she answers your question. “son chaeyoung.” 

“son chaeyoung.” you say her name slowly, accent hugging the syllables the same way her father’s did. the comparison seems too similar. 

within minutes after speaking names, you both fall asleep. 

you wake up the morning after the first night with the witch pressed to your chest, her arms wrapped around your middle, and cheek pressed flat against your breast. her hair on the crown of her head tickles your chin. 

you swat it away with your hands, negating the spike of panic trickling down your spine, and you shift, trying to extract yourself from her grip. chaeyoung hums softly in protest, clinging to you tighter as her eyes flutter open, long lashes shadowing her cheeks. her gaze is half-lidded, exhausted, but once she notices who she’s clinging onto, she pulls away from you as you both sit up on the large bed. 

the awkward silence filling the space between you two, curdling thoughts in your head, but before you could utter something, chaeyoung turned around, her small mouth pressed to a frown. 

“i need animal fat and some wood.” she says, before you could even conjure up a good morning—which you wouldn't have, “so you go hunt today.” 

you eyes squint as you fix your seated position. chaeyoung scoots away to the corner of the bed, her furs covering her slipping beneath the slope of her petite breasts. an action which earns a warning look from you. 

“what’s the use of these items?” 

“to make soap for the laundry. you’ll have to use your dirty clothes still, but the sooner you get me these things, the better.” 

“how do you expect to make soap from fat and bark?” 

“the elders have taught me everything i know.” 

you get up from the bed without looking at chaeyoung, not fazed by the resentment, shivering as you cross over to the lonely rack pilfered with all of the dirty clothes that you’ve worn for the past couple of days. the smell still penetrating through your nostrils, she was right about getting these clothes washed as soon as possible. 

after tugging the heavy jacket over your toned body, you feel chaeyoung’s gaze lasering on you, causing you to turn around and raise a brow at her.

“anything else?” 

“try to get a few animals. i’m gonna need more than one to make enough soap for both of us and our clothes.” 

“that all?” 

“come back quickly, we don’t have any food still.” a second passes before she grumbles another lasting addition. “it’s also cold, so it’s not safe for you to be out that long.” 

you feel your lips twitching—to a frown and surely, “you sound like my old nana.” 

chaeyoung keeps a straight face cooly. “go.” 

you obey while rolling your eyes out the door. slinging a bow and quiver of arrows as you stepped out to the frigid cold, wrapping your cloak more deeply with a drawn out exhale. the thought of tossing the witch chaeyoung out here in the snow for her to suffer as well, but the thought was pointless, nearly impractical. 

as you walk into the forest about twenty minutes away from the cabin, your mind falls into a calming state, a serenity as such with every calming breath leaving your mouth. ears perking to any sudden sound while brandishing your weapon. your experience breaking through the many lessons taught by your father and late brother before they both died. the image of them passing through your mind as the anger from the old memory rises up again. 

a rabbit comes into you line of vision, looking over a small snowy hill with its head moving in all directions, leaping away when it sees you, but you were faster with the arrow shot lodging into its eye. 

“one, but let’s pray that there isn’t a bear nearby.” 

chaeyoung had instructed you to not be out for long, but there's the thought that you and her will be staying in the cabin longer than anticipated, so by getting familiar with the present surroundings around your makeshift home was the more logical idea. everything once barren with life was covered in snow. the cold was unforgiving as it is, a beauty that you could admire. 

the new area is opened up more when you see a frozen lake, placed in the middle of the dead trees. crows surround the lake, flying around before disappearing into the white sky. 

you notice another nearby bird and rabbit, drawing both of your arrows to shoot them at the same time. the bag behind you was now filled with various pieces of animal corpses and wood, the gusts of wind not letting up as you gripped your cloak to ease your shivering. 

“i wished i could be back home, not dealing with any of this ‘life test’.” you say out loud, looking up at the sky and smiling scornfully.

the thoughts of going back home once all of this was still a hopeful premonition you prayed to see through, but you’re reminded of the current situation with chaeyoung still waiting for you back in the cabin. 

gut twisting, gazing at the frozen ice guarding the lake, wondering what the witch was doing. if she was keeping herself warm by the fire, waiting for your return, while you did the dirty work. you growl at the idea, opposed to be heeding to her calls. you swear to finish all of this by making her suffer when the moment presents itself. 

and you will complete the mission, to get the information about the location of the other witches from her before doing the same thing you did to chaeyoung’s village almost an entire week ago. 

it all could’ve been so simple; just slit her throat and leave her. going back home brings a smile to your lips, you could already picture the look on her face, how her hands will claw your shoulders, begging for her life to be spared. the dagger that you used for the wolves and other witches you’ve slain will be the sole tool–pinning her against the floor and then—

you crack open the door and stomp off the snow from your sleek boots, hearing a soft hum coming form the fireplace at the other end. the song preaching about peace and tranquil, hopes of good times coming back sung by a bright pleasant voice that stops all of your motions. 

that’s all stopped suddenly since you startled the witch–chaeyoung–as she faced you, her black eyes wide, color piercing through the cheeks. she sits in front of the fireplace, still naked in the bundle of furs, still embarrassed, to no surprise.

you fight off the urge to smile. ignoring the moment to relish in your delusional madness. 

“you sing like a pretty angel.” you greet with a sheepish tone in your voice, making her irritated automatically. 

“i appreciate the compliment.” chaeyoung scowls at you.

you step inside more, expression miffed. “i wasn’t…you think i was teasing?” 

“weren’t you?” 

“yes,” you immediately answer. your face shifts again, “i was actually, you calming baby beast.” 

“don’t call me that!” she snaps at you, flushing down to her feet, before turning back to the fireplace. she stares at the flame, senses up to eleven as you approach her, holding your bag to her. she takes it, fingers hitting each other for a second, gasping at the sudden cold on our gloves, facing you as she smooths her hand under the sleeves of your cloak and up your wrist. 

“you’re ice cold,” a concerned tone in her voice and stands up. she walks you to the bed, hand on your stomach, dropping to the bed as she pushes you to face the ceiling. you stare at her dazed, chaeyoung placing her palms on the sides of your neck. closing her eyes to focus, she pulses a surge of warmth beneath the hands, sending that same heat to your body. you sigh out a harsh sound, once chaeyoung pull away from you she was satisfied with her work, noticing the pain wincing on your face. 

“thank you.” you were able to croak out. 

chaeyoung nods, feeling the heat rise to her cheeks, stepping away. clinging to her fur tightly reminded of the fact that she was still naked under them, and a lot colder now that she’s used her magic; warming you up with her own body heat. 

you sense this, shooting up to your feet and headed to the same rack that held your clothes before you left this morning, fishing out a garment that was printed with strawberries all over it. she looks at the childish looking fabric as you wrap it over her neck, ears pink as she meets your eyes again. 

“i saw this before i left to hunt.” you say with a low voice, “you also have less clothes compared to me. this should help you a little bit at least.” a few heartbeats pass before you ask, “are you warm?” 

“yes.” chaeyoung replies, hardly uttering from the lump in her throat in addition to the churning turmoil unsettling in her gut. 

you nod. it’s a stoic movement, as if you were unfamiliar with your own act of kindness. you step off to teh side and let her pass, looking away from the new space of proximity. 

“i’ll make the soap now.” 

“good. let me know if you need more things from outside.” you say to her without even looking. 

“you need a bath,” chaeyoung says, almost immediately after she finished up their laundry. “we both do.” 

you look up from your plateful of rabbit, a hint of bread crumbs on your lips. the clothes were drying over the rack, near the fire, so they sat with thick furs covering them. 

“you’re saying that i smell?” you ask. 

“horribly, you have no idea how hard it is to sleep next to you.” 

“didn’t look like that to me earlier this morning.” 

chaeyoung scowls but leaves you to finish the rest of your dinner. once finished, and the clothes have finally dried up, you take the large bucket and step outside. five minutes later you come back inside with the bucket filled with snow and sit back down while they wait. “you gonna go first?” 

“no.” chaeyoung says instantly. “you have to.” 

“why me?” 

“because you’re the one doing the labor.” and hunting, building the fires, carried me around the wilderness for five days, chaeyoung thinks but won’t actually admit. a thought that shouldn’t have crossed her mind but it did. “you smell worse compared to me.” 

your eyes squint in offense, but recede any sort of argument against her. she watches you sniff your arm when you think she looked away for a second, nodding after in agreement. 

when the water in the bucket stars to boil, dragging it away from the fireplace, waiting for it to cool down. once at a bearable temperature, you strip. chaeyoung’s cheeks shoot red and immediately turns toward the small dining table. you had a terrible habit of doing that in front of her. any given moment to change, you never gave her a heads up. 

“this bucket is a little small baby beast.” you grumble, chaeyoung fights the response of stop calling me that–she’s tried. no luck, you were attached to that nickname now–turning around to say, “not a bucket technically, more of a tub and–” 

she stops herself with a muted giggle, pressing her fingers to lips. you stare at her, your arms submerged in the water, knees peeking through the surface and your shoulders shuugged up to your ears. as she just thought, you were a little too tall with muscle to actually fit inside. 

“don’t–” 

“i wasn’t laughing, nothing that you do is amusing enough.” 

“then how come you’re smiling at me right now?” 

“i’m not–” cutting yourself off when she notices something, pulling her hand away at the new question in her head. “are you not going to wash your hair?” 

“i just did.” 

“it doesn’t look like it touched the water.” 

“i put some water in it.” 

“with soap?” 

“just water.” 

chaeyoung cringes while standing up. “you’re an idiot, you have long hair and you don’t know how to wash it?” 

“i know how to!” you retort. “i just don’t like sleeping with wet hair.” 

“well you’re not going to sleep if you don’t was your hair.” 

“alright!” you snap, reaching for the small bar of soap and rubbing it in between your palms. “are you happy now?” 

“not exactly what i meant.” chaeyoung replies while watching you weave your fingers through your hair with the soapy substance. she steps closer to you, dipping her fingers into the water to wet them a little bit, picking up the bar of soap and runs her fingers through your hair.

with the initial stiffness, you relax into her easing touch, leaning towards her when she rubs her thumbs against your temples. the water was more tepid now than five minutes ago, so with a deep breath, chaeyoung draws heat to her palms, scraping lightly against your scalp, sighing out in relief. 

chaeyoung’s fingers slide down to the nape of your neck, massaging the tense muscle group there. you slouch even more, mouth parte, and she starts to take note of the lines on your face: the high brow and sharp cheekbones, the pink curve of your mouth, and the flawless sculpt of your jaw. the roots of your hair on the top of your head were healthy to chaeyoung’s shock. 

she also doesn’t recall seeing someone like you growing up and going to many different villages of different witches, but you really were a beautiful woman, a shame that beauty was wasted on you. 

“you’ve been feeling my face for too long, witch.” you slur out, fingers still tickling your scalp as chaeyoung clicks her tongue. 

“i think i’d rather drown you like this, idiot hunter.” 

“y/n.” you whipser mindlessly, before holding yourself back of speaking another word. once washing the suds away from your hair, chaeyoung wipes her hands in the fur. you look at her, blinking the dreamy layer in your eyes, and it was here that the reality of her actions begin to brew a change of heart. she turns away, staring at her kneecaps. 

you get up from the large bucket and dry yourself with a stretch of fabric that chaeyoung found while you were out. after putting back on the clean, dry clothes, you take the bucket back outside and return with a fresh pile of snow for chaeyoung’s bath. 

why did i do that? chaeyoung thinks slently, embarrassment through the roof within her. i didn’t need to do that. 

just minutes later you come back inside, placing the bucket near the fire again. you turn to seek chaeyoung again, finding her on the floor clearly shivering. 

“are you cold?” you ask, reaching for her stack of furs. 

“a little b-bit.” 

“you’re freezing.” you observe, covering her with the pelt of fur before placing your palm on the flat side of her cheek. 

“it’s the fire isn’t it.” 

“no i-it’s my magic.” 

“your magic?” 

“when i-i warm my palms, i have to use my o-own body h-heat to use it. making me a l-lot more colder t-then for a c-couple of h-hours.” 

your face becomes slack jawed, “so that’s why you were cold when i came back earlier?” 

chaeyoung nods, your brows furrow, and you pull the bucket away from the fire. you place your hand on the outer rim, letting the hot water burn your fingers. “you should’ve waited for me.” 

“i had t-to. we need each other remember? i can’t survive if you’re suffering from hypothermia too.” 

“this shouldn’t be an issue, chaeyoung.” 

“well for now it is, but i need you to be healthy for me in order to get better.” 

“and i need you to be warm for me.” 

chaeyoung’s throat closes in on itself. the crackling flame was all that was heard in the room. its light emiitng just enough for her eyes to see your harsh muscle and shadowed outlines, but your eyes were soft and gleaming. dark brown. 

as always since they first met, she was the one to turn away from you first. 

you sigh, tapping the bucket, “your bath is ready baby beast. hurry up so that we can go to bed, it’s late.” 

the days pass by and the routine was oh so easy to fall into, nothing else mattered–but your own survival. 

you get up in the mornings while chaeyoung is still asleep to build the fire up so that when you leave to go hunting again, the cabin would be already warm for her when she wakes up. to keep themselves busy, she would make breakfast next to the fireplace that they eat together on the floor. 

if there was a small shortage of food, you’d go out to hunt. if the clothes were dirty, chaeyoung would be the one to wash them. a tear in the fabric, she sews them. regular housekeeping duties as the harsh winter weather starts to let up little by little, day by day. 

on one occasion, you bring back a pocketful of nuts, probably stolen from a squirrel or something of that degree, and it excites chaeyoung beyond all reason. 

she’s enjoying this far more than she should, but it was so simple to think about. 

“you’re from the kingdom?” chaeyoung asks, one morning while still snuggled up in bed. 

it was early that the sun was breaking through the peaks, a calming white light glaring through the windows. you lean up on your elbow, cheek against your fist as you softly smile at her. “have you ever been to the mainland? or a city for that matter?” 

“no.” chaeyoung admits, unashamed from the snickering coming out of your mouth soon after. “i grew up in the mountains.” 

“for all of your life?” 

“pretty much, but with my parents of course.” 

“i figured.” you smugly say, rubbing your finger against the beauty mark under the right side of her bottom lip. “you didn’t look like the others back in the village.” 

chaeyoung looks away from your gaze for a moment, recalling the image of little diana’s body. a wave of anger building up from the sentimental moment, but she doesn’t want to think about it now. 

“they took me in after my parents died.” she says to you. you expression shifts and you lean a little more closer with the cover still enveloping you. 

“how old were you when that happened?” 

“i was nine. a sudden plague sweeped the town i was living at and it nearly took everyone. at the same time, a wise woman found me and sensed my potential power, so she asked me to come with her.” 

“that must’ve been hard.” 

“it was, but i didn’t have anywhere to go.” 

you stare, a strange glint dashing at your eyes. after a moment, “i lost my mother too around that age.”

“oh.” chaeyoung breathes out, leaning up to match you. “was she also caught with the sickness too?” 

you sit up, gaze still locked with hers, face not contorting a single emotion at all, “not exactly.” 

sitting on the edge of the bed, you grip the frame with your fingers, chaeyoung’s resenmnt tolls through her again; she didn’t like how you’d get suddenly depressed when you were just simply opening up about your life to her. it was unbearable to watch sometimes. 

she sits next to you, touching your arm. when you look back at her, she asks, “tell me more about this kingdom.” 

“why would you want to know?” 

“beacuse i want to hear what it’s like, the mountains here are the only thing i know around here.” 

“well,” you huff out, “where do i even start? we have houses like yours, but built properly, people in the kingdom have similar jobs like yours; eating, cleaning, trading. it’s all protected by this wall that keeps most of the outside threats away. 

“really? it’s the same as the village?” 

you smirk, “yes, sort of, but it’s kind of like the same concept really.” you say, clutching your leg as you stare up at the ceiling. 

she hums with a slight giddy to her attitude, you then ask, “so what about you? what’s it like in the village?” 

chaeyoung purses her lips thinking about the question, trying to not say anything stupid, “well, when i wasn’t focused on my craft, i was always keeping an eye on the younger girls.” 

“your village was all girls?”

“yes,” chaeyoung admits, blushing a bit. “in fact, you’re the first woman hunter that i’ve seen as a proper leader of their pack.” 

“really?” 

“mhm” she hums, pressing her jaw against her knee, eyes trailing off your jawline. “i’ve always wondered about something.” 

“what is it?” 

“are there other female witch hunters like you?” 

“well,” you start off by saying, “i’ve heard the rumors but to my knowledge i’m the only one around here.” 

“oh.” 

“you seem shocked.” 

“i’m not.” she says, shaking her head. “you’re a lot more mature than the disgusting men you had as your fellow hunters.” 

“i appreciate the compliment, those men were dumbasses towards you after all.” 

chaeyoung scoffs at what you said, gazing into your features again as the light started breaking more and more into the cabin. 

“we should start the day early shouldn’t we?” you say, grabbing a shirt from one of the posts on the bed and slipping it on, “i still have the three birds that you can cook from yesterday, that’s our breakfast.” 

“okay.” 

“i’ll also get more firewood outside too, we’re almost out.” 

“okay.” chaeyoung says again, but before you start to head out she adds, “i’m glad that it’s you that i’m stuck with and not those men.” 

your lips part for a moment, “i’m glad that we’ve survived for this long together too.” 

“so what about–”

you toss the strawberry printed fabric towards chaeyoung on the bed, cheeks hinting with a small pink facing away from her, “you’re gonna need this.” 

“baby beast.” 

chaeyoung moans softly under the covers, turning away from your hand and tries to go back to sleep. the hand at her shoulder continues to shake her more persistently, “wake up, i wanna show you something.” 

she huffs out and rolls to her left side, facing you, eyes fluttering open to meet yours. you smile and lean over her, bruising the wispy bangs from her face. “are you gonna get out of bed now?” 

“why?” she asks, nearly whining. your grin widens at the sound of her tickling your ear drums. 

“there’s a lake here i want you to see.” 

“the lake?” chaeyoung stretches out to see you shuffle over to the other end of the cabin, fetching her cloak and boots, shoving her feet inside the warm objects while wrapping the cloak over her shoulders, watching you pat down the cloak and tie the strings at her chest. getting the small strawberry printed fabric for her to carry in her pocket. 

“what’s there at the lake?” she asks you, rubbing her eyes again to make her more awake. 

“nothing special.” you say, but your eyes were beaming with pure excitement like a child, “i just want you to see it like i did.” 

in a few minutes, both of you are properly dressed and out the door. despite the chilling air, chaeyoung sigs when she steps into the snowy ground, looking up to inhale the sharp, crisp air, watching her breath materialize into a small fog in front of her. she missed going outside because of the lack of body temperature and proper clothing.

you didn’t like chaeyoung to be out for more than actually needed, but the worst part of the winter had eased up by this point so it’s not that dangerous to get out of the cabin for once. 

leading her into the first, chaeyoung is astonished by the sight, the trees arching above her head that she couldn’t see the branches on them. the white snow glittering beneath her feet, reflecting off the sunlight beaming down on them. the view was majestic, and a sight that she wishes she had forced herself up right away at first to see earlier. 

you take her hand, chaeyoung looks up to see your impatience, dragging her along the trail, making her almost jog slightly because of your long graceful strides. 

“why are we walking fast? won’t we scare the animals?” 

“yes, but i’m technically hunting them so it wouldn’t even matter. anyway, better for us to make noise to scare a wolf or bear rather than staying quiet and run into one.” 

“and if we did?” 

you smirk, “then i’d kill it myself to get a new coat.” you say with eagerness. 

chaeyoung doesn’t have the courage to tell you that you’d likely die before pulling that off. 

you and her both slow down your pace once guiding her past the slew of trees. with your hands on chaeyoung’s shoulders, you push her past the short bushes and into an open space. her view takes in the frozen lake in the center, sprinkled with snow in different patches across the icy layer. she sees a lonely cub sliding across the lake, clearly lost looking for its mother. 

you lean in close, your breath tickling the hair on her nape, “do you see that little bear cub standing there?” 

“i do.” 

the cub then runs away funnily, reaching the other side of the lake with ease before disappearing into the sea of trees. “it reminds me of you, baby beast.” 

chaeyoung then rips her gaze away from the sight to look up at you, staring down at her, the shine her eyes becoming more and more familiar, almost as if she’s used to your teasing, then glancing away from you after. her body warms up suddenly, but not to the point to diminish the shiver that rolls across her skin when another wave of wind blows in again, making you turn chaeyoung into your arms. 

“cold?” 

“i–” 

you didn’t even bother waiting for her answer, hands sliding beneath her cloak and around her waist. her nightgown bunching up between your palms, sliding them up and down, making chaeyoung flush up quickly, turning her head to your throat and closing her eyelids against your neck. 

“how’s that feel?” 

“better.” chaeyoung whispers against your skin. 

she wants to break away from your grasp. the fact that you’re holding her and she’s allowing it should be ringing alarms in her head, she’s supposed to push you away, but for some reason–she can’t find a reason why.

“i think we should head back now. the cold is getting to you again.” 

“it isn’t, but—” a sudden realization comes back to her mind, glazing at the mound of snow before meeting your eyes, hands clasping yours through the thick woolen gloves. “can i show you something before we go?” 

“um, yeah. sure.” you reply confusedly, thrown off by her earnestness. 

chaeyoung then pulls you over to a small area nearby the meeting point of the frozen lake with the ground, eyes flickering towards before looking at the snow. closing her eyes and exhaling out a warm breath against the icy surface, a small sparkle shimmers through her fingertips for a few seconds. at the end of that, a snowdrop appears to sprout from the cold dirt. she smiles with her mouth stretching from one end of her face to the other, glancing at you looking intrigued. 

“do you like it?” 

you knelt down to examine the flower, studying it with a tilted head. “i’ve never seen this one in the books back at home. what is it?” 

“oh, it’s just some kind of flower. i don’t actually know what it is either, but it’s pretty isn’t it?” 

you pluck the flower from the ground as soon she finishes her answer, breath hitching when you nestle it in between her hair, fingers grazing the outer lobe of her ear. you smile, your eyes warm with so much fondness as well as glowing in a soft color, a calming color actually. 

“it’s beautiful.” you whisper out. 

chaeyoung almost cries, catching herself melt for a slight second. 

later on the way back to the cabin, chaeyoung hears a string of cracks in the trees to her right side. you pick up on the sound too, putting yourself in front of her as protection when they see the movement in the lines of trunks finally come into formation—another wolf. 

chaeyoung is startled at the similar sight of the wolf that tried to devour her when she first got captured, but this was different since she was now with you, but the situation wasn’t safe just yet. 

“we’re gonna make a run for the cabin, okay? it’s just up this trail. chaeyoung, i need you to keep your head forward and don’t look back, i’ll draw it’s attention away from you.” 

“but-”

“i need you to trust me.” you say, “i’ll protect you, just get to the cabin. let me take care of this.” 

chaeyoung swallows the growing lump in her throat, complying with your request. the both of you start running with the wolf tailing just a few meters away behind you two. the cabin was just a couple short seconds away and you look back at the wolf who was approaching closer. 

“get inside and lock the door!” you command chaeyoung as she continues to run up the trail, doing exactly as you were told while she still worried about you. she couldn’t bear to look out the window, her ears hearing your yells and the wolf growls, the bashing of different objects mixed in with your pants. 

she didn’t know how long it was since she first got back inside, but to her shock, she sees you stumbling inside the door, carrying something very unfamiliar. 

chaeyoung notices the many gashes that were marked on your skin, the body of the same wolf that chased you two just behind you, the fur scratched, but still salvageable. 

“did you just?!” she cries out, rushing towards you, grabbing your head while you wore a mad grin, eyes half lidded and face scratched up. 

“you were right about the wolf thing you know.” 

“i can’t—” her breath hitches, choking down a sob. “i can’t believe you did that.” 

you grip matches hers on your wrist that was on your face, “i protected you,” you whisper out, getting hazily. 

the way that your head was moving so much and the glint in your eyes, it seemed that the fight almost took you out entirely. 

chaeyoung huffs, wrapping her arm around your shoulder and brings you to the bed, where she lays you down carefully, smoothing your hair away from your disfigured face from the cuts. she leaves you to get a bowl full of snow from outside, you frowning once she returned.

“why’d you go outside?” 

“to get you something to cool these cuts from the stupid wolf.” 

“but i killed it still.” 

“well that doesn’t matter!” chaeyoung snaps at you, placing the bowl on top of the fireplace. “take your shirt and bra off, i have to see your other cuts for me to properly heal you.” 

you pout but follow along by taking off the jacket from your shoulders, wincing while the shirt came off of you, leaving you barren with your breasts out. chaeyoung notices the additional marks scattered across your midsection. if you did…and she wasn’t here with you—

“sorry, for being stupid.” you say with a prideful gloat.

“y/n, i can’t—” chaeyoung cries out, covering her mouth. “you could have died if you fought any longer.” 

“say that again.” 

“huh?!”

she pulls her hands way from her mouth, meeting your eyes as you clasp her wrist again, eyes looking woozy, almost drunken. “my name, say it again, baby beast.” 

“y/n, what—” 

you groan out in rapture, chaeyoung blushes for a second before taking the wet rag and swipes it across your skin, brushing over the wounds carefully. at the end, the water is coloered with a hint of pink and the rag is completely soaked, but the wounds are cleaned, now it’s just a matter of getting you patched up. 

chaeyoung taps your cheek, leaning over you, “okay, i need you to be awake for this next part. i’m going to heal your wounds.” 

“wait don’t–” you mumble out. 

“why?” a wall of protection builds from her facial expression, “you don’t want my demon magic over you?” 

“i don’t want you to faint on me.” 

“it’s fine.” chaeyoung mutters, ducking her head in shame before centering her hands over your abs. 

she moves her hands across your upper body, healing every slice and tear that was across your flesh. even the minor bruises from the bumps and hits you took not from the wolf, ensuring that everything was healed properly. once finished, chaeyoung collapses on top of you, her head drowsy. 

“i told you to not faint silly.” 

“you left me,” she trails off, “no other choice.” whispering the last sentence before passing out, making you shift her over your lap, wrapping your arms around her for a slight hug–a sign of thankfulness coming out of you which was rare.

“looks like i have to take care of you now.” 

chaeyoung was already passed out as you slide her underneath the furs, secugen her across your chest, nestling her face on your warm skin, feeling her pulse beat under your fingers. the relief finally settles in her, letting out a small sob. since when did the thought of you dying start to terify her more than being alive? 

as chaeyoung fingers graze your bare back, you plant a faint kiss on her temple and cheek. 

“rest well, chaeyoung."

The greatest thing you’ll ever read

untethered devotion

witch!son chaeyoung x witchhunter!reader || angst, smut, fluff

synopsis: was love the biggest sin you ever committed?

warnings: smut ; cursing ; more enemies to lovers ; nightmares ; death threats ; reader is a complete idiot ; chaeyoung is questioning all morals at this point ; winter to spring kinda idk ; some violence ; cold but soft at the same time ; not proofread

pls read this first for context

later that same night, you dream of chaeyoung. 

it had become all the usual for you now: fleeting sounds of her laugh and glimpses of her long, black hair or the tattoo marks on her skin. a serene nightmare that would haunt you in every second you were awake, but this was clear to you, despite being brutal. 

you’re chasing her around the cabin. the four walls surrounding you are closing in, forcing themselves closer and closer together, but chaeyoung is somehow just out of reach. she glances back in many takes, giggling in mirth with a shine in her eyes. get me! they speak to you–like a siren in the ocean. i want you to catch me. 

and when you do catch her—finally, bunching your fingers into the pelt that she’s wearing, slamming her to the wall. she’s laughing still, mocking you—like this was all a game to her. even after you press close and shove your knees between her bare thighs, your hands find her slimming throat and are squeezing. 

your lips part with a stranlgled breath. “you’re nothing but a demon’s bride to me, witch.” you spit, thinking of the facade she’s emitting: and flowers are sprouting out from the soft snow. 

she whispers to you, a smile on her face still. 

“y/n.” 

you’ve heard her say your name before, the only time was earlier but it’s all she says to you here. you heave her up the wall, wringing her neck. you lock eyes with chaeyoung as hers are slowly fading, light and life fading at the clutches of your fingers. you breathlessly giggle at the moment you’re enjoying. 

and she strokes your face. the look almost like she was in love with you. 

chaeyoung grapples against you, nails digging into your collar, trying to shake herself off to break free and she falls against the wall. she’s limp, a smile still on her face. “y-y/n.” she croaks out one last time before slacking. you lower her to the floor, tugging closely, trailing your fingers over her pulsepoint, there’s nothing. no feeling, no breath, or sound. 

she’s dead–

you immediately shoot up from the bed upright, chest heaving, gasping for air. a cold sweat is spread over your upper body. looking over to your side, seeing chaeyoung’s face in a fully relaxed slumber. still alive. a wave of overwhelming relief that is coursing through you, still trying to recover from the horror. 

with a shaking hand, you part her lightly soft hair and kiss her temple once, twice, and a third time–each peck being more forceful than the last. you then press your nose to her hairline, the scent of lavender soap and flowers clashing with the cold under the covers. 

“thank god.” you whisper. “thank god.” 

chaeyoung wakes up that next morning to find you kneeling by the fire, your large, long hands bloody from skinning the wolf you slain yesterday. when you notice that she’s awake, you smile. 

“you okay?” 

“better,” chaeyoung replies, rubbing her temples. the throbbing sensation no longer there to the point where her vision isn’t blurring at the edges of her eyes, but still. she was worried at the recklessness that you pulled that made her drain most of her healing powers. the fortune of not falling into a coma–since it’s happened before (not to her thankfully). 

“here,” you say, as chaeyoung continues to make sure that everything was alright with her body, handing her a hefty piece of meat and a thick piece of bread that was wider than her palm. “i cooked us breakfast.” 

“you could’ve just had me do it.” 

“i can cook too ya know,” you drawl. “the least you can do is say thank you.” 

chaeyoung blushes, brought down back to earth as she reaches for the meal. the meat itself you prepared was tough but tender when she bites into it, the hopeful expression that you have on your face pushes her to light up with enjoyment. humming while nodding her head at the taste, you grin. 

after downing the bitten piece, she asks, “is this the…?” 

“the wolf? it is.” 

“oh.” chaeyoung looks down, remembering the cuts and gashes spread across your skin, the dazed look in your eyes as you stared up at her. “i did it for you.” 

“s-so how are you-” 

“better, more than better actually.” you say brightly, lifting your shirt to show. “no scars. you’re really a miracle worker, chaeyoung.” 

she blushes after this sudden compliment, “it was just a simple healing magic spell. a child would know how to do it.” 

“either way, i thank you.” 

your gaze was a little too intense, penetrating chaeyoung right in the face, so she looks down at her meal and scarfs down another bite. after cleaning up, you ask, “it’s actually a pretty nice trick to have.” 

“what?” 

“your healing.” 

“how is it a nice trick?” 

“well,” you begin, glancing at the skinned wolf you were working on and chaeyoung. “when hunters like me go out to hunt and come back hurt, it’s nice to have someone who can tend to their needs.” 

chaeyoung blinks, struck at the sense of deja vu taking over her, but pushes past it, scooting herself closer to you. “and what is it that you’re implying? are you saying that i should be a wife for you?” 

your glistening face shines with a flush, a rosy pink that chaeyoung is pleased to see. “it’s just the right, sensible thing to do.” 

“a wife tending to your needs?” 

“i-i didn’t mea–” you shift, turning your body to square with hers. “the whole role of me bringing essentials for you. like providing really.” 

chaeyoung hums, remembering that her father did the same to some extent as well as her mother. “while i– i mean, while your wife does something to keep herself occupied like sewing?” 

you chuckle. “yes. sewing or anything homey.” 

chaeyoung’s eyes flutter away from you, heart thudding at how unbearably fond you look currently, trying to think of something to switch up the topic. “aren’t you more into well, guys?” 

“nope. i despise men.” 

“really?” 

“not my kind of thing at all.” 

she sits back on the seat, recalling the occasion of how the girls in her village would dress up nice with flowers in their hair–coming back all flushed out and drunk while you sat there with lips parted at the surprising activity that you didn’t even expect for her to take part in. 

“i thought you said that your village was all girls?” 

“it was! but we had various travelers visit and some of them were actually enticing to–” 

“i don’t believe this! how did we talk about house roles to–”

chaeyoung notices that you’re blabbering about some nonsense again, but she thinks that you actually enjoy throwing her off with just pure randomness that’s coming out of your mouth. 

“all im saying is that the hunter or person of the house provides for the wife while she stays inside and keeps the home nice and tidy! providing for the family is always the most important thing and you as a woman would know that!”

“did you just–” chaeyoung’s ears perk up at the word that slipped from your mouth. “did you just say wife?” 

“what?!” you shout out, blushing. “i don’t know what you’re talking about!” 

“i heard you loud and clear. whatever happened to calling me a demon’s bride that your hunters were so proud of yelling. did you happen to figure out which one i’ve sold my soul to yet y/n?” 

“you’re not married to a demon,” you growl, striking the blade through the wooden table next to you. “i’d kill that demon myself if that were the case.” 

“luckily, i’m not.” chaeyoung huffs out. 

“good.” 

after you say that, chaeyoung swivels to face the wall, mind racing at your words that were turning in her head. why would you two feud about something that isn’t even brought to fruition in the first place? 

at the end of the day, you think that she’s a demon’s bride, she clicks her teeth together in a wretched scrunch. a loose end is what i am chaeyoung thinks. 

the thought of you dreaming up your ideal spouse and have her play the role. from cooking your meals, caring for your wounds, and even sleeping together in the same bed. she–a skeptic, the runt of the litter, the witch–-not some esteemed woman from the kingdom. you had the audacity to call her a wife without even implying the term directly. 

chaeyoung’s upright posture droops down at the realization that she was playing the role of your ideal spouse. it’s been that way for so long now…making fur clothes, hunting for the next meal, and keeping her warm…

you keep your back faced towards chaeyoung, finishing up the last of the skinned wolf that you killed the other day. a blush coming through as you huff out in distress. 

hours pass into the evening, and when you slip under the furs, chaeyoung rolls on her side and asks, “i’ve been thinking.” 

“thinking of what?” you say to her, wrapping your arm around her head so that she could get more comfortable. it should’ve felt weird, but it’s so natural now. 

“about the family thing. the roles that we’re playing. romance. all of that.” 

“that’s more like marriage,” you say, shifting your body to get yourself more comfortable, blankets slipping to expose both of your chests. “romance is different…almost like connecting with someone that you’re destined to be with.” 

chaeyoung blinks. “i’m confused.” 

letting out a sigh, followed by a light smile. “i see it to be weird, but romance is beautiful to have. to fall for someone even when you least expect it.” 

“but…” chaeyoung starts, considering what you were saying, before shaking her head after. “besides that, what did you mean about the roles that a married couple would have? that’s what i’m trying to get at here.” 

“why do you ask?” 

“just curious, i’ve only heard stories from my mother about a life full of love and happiness.” 

you then pull her closer to you, chucking beneath her chin with a smile that has so much endearment to the emotion. “i’d be happy to share a little about my life.” 

chaeyoung taps the end bone of your clavicle, synapses conducting in her mind of a question that could pry a little more into you that you’ve kept so secret about. 

“why did you become a witch hunter?” 

you stare at her, face still at the surprise question. “it was the only way out for me.” 

“what about your mother?” chaeyoung asks, refusing to imagine the kind of life that you brought yourself upon in the harsh ranks of finding and killing her kind. 

you utter a laugh that’s filled with dead humor, eyes drawing bitterly and the urge of malice running through your veins. “she died because i couldn’t save her.” 

“how did she die?” 

air comes out of your nostrils, brows creased together in annoyance to the traumatizing memory. “what do you think? it was a witch that killed her.” 

chaeyoung’s body freezes at this. “a-a witch?” her face creases after, “i’m sorry y/n.” 

you pat her exposed shoulder, dismissing her apology without even saying a word. “my mom fell in love with my father who was in love with another woman. it sounds pathetic, but she went to a well known witch in our town who was a very reliable helper. well, that was the case if she didn’t ask for money like the greedy bitch she was.”

glancing at chaeyoung, a dark humor in your eyes when she meets yours with a silent trepidation, so you continue: 

“my mom went to the witch one day with a favor, and the witch told her for a few measly coins, she could make the flesh on one’s body curdle off the very bone; rip the air away from their lungs; rot a beating heart. she was desperate, so the witch agreed. she wanted my father back if it meant doing things that costed a life. 

“that’s–” chaeyoung’s voice rises then dips down to a faint whisper, almost trying not to have the dark one’s presence over them. “black magic.” 

you raise a brow, looking down at her with much more intrigue, “you’re sounding that this is something that you don’t practice?”

“are you kidding?” she asks you, horror in her voice breaking through, “you’re–you’re not allowed to do that. if one crazy witch were to partake in practicing that art, you’ll die trying to get what you so deeply desired.” 

“well, the price itself was steep,” you say, blinking repeatedly, “everyone got sick in my hometown and my father did everything to help. it was no use anyway, she died within the next week or so.”

“and…what about the witch?” 

you break a smug grin, slowly piercing your teeth through as if you’ve been waiting for that very question since you’ve met chaeyoung, “you know what they say about revenge? it’s like a wish granted from the gods above. i saw that bitch minding her own business in the market, whistilng to herself. i couldn’t believe the sight when i saw her. she killed my mom, and she just went on with her day like it was nothing.” your voice becomes more grim, mouth curling, “like she was just a normal human being.” 

chaeyoung’s heart flutters, like a bird or animal wanting to be let out of their caged barrier the way her heart was beating inside her chest. “so, what did you do?” 

“i killed her of course,” you whisper. “she walked into the alleyway where i trailed her from the market. i remember picking up a blade of glass and everything that followed after: how she screamed, how i screamed, the hot blood flowing out of her neck, the heavenly sounds of her taking her last breaths. i wished that she lived longer, so that she could feel more pain.” 

chaeyoung stares at you, speechless, breath siphoned out from the actions you just said. how could you be like this? she thinks, wanting to push herself away from you. but then again, were you anything else besides a monster?

you keep going: 

“my father was never the same after my mother’s death. twisted from a normal man to a crossbreed of a monster and living corpse. he said if i were to become a witch hunter, it would make him proud. so i did what he asked, only for him to die as well not long after.”

“y/n, y-you–” 

“i despise witches because of how they’ve taken literally everything away from me. because of their greed, the deviancy, i lost my mother and father. my mother, chaeyoung, do you have–” you take a sharp inhale, eyes darting to the window above you, tears welling up in your eyes. looking back after compiosng yourself, an accusation is spelled across your face. “you don’t know what it’s like to have that happen to you.” 

chaeyoung huffs a bitter laugh in disbelief, “i don’t know what it’s like? do you even hear yourself right now?” 

“some would understand.” 

“you’re the one to tell me that i don’t have any idea how it feels to have your life ruined? to have someone barge in and destory everything that you loved and cherished? you don’t think i know what it’s like to be angry?” 

“how would you know?” you demand. “since you think you know better.” 

“because of you.” she says pointedly. “you are that witch to me y/n, you and the rest of your fucking hunters. you ruined my life. took my family away from me. you—” 

“they were witches. they—” 

“deserved it? christ there were children. diana was only seven!” 

“she—” you stutter, eyes widened. “but they–” 

“you’re saying that i desterved it then? what would you do if you were forced to kill–” 

“i’m not saying that at all,” you try to interject. 

“it could’ve happened! if i were killed like the rest of them, knowing what you know me now, would i have deserved it just because i’m a witch to you? where’s the honesty in that y/n?” 

`you sit up staring at her, lost. because of her anger, she pushes you against the wall where the window was over the bed, expectant, but you couldn’t answer her. your jaw slacks, parted lips but close after. you only manage to breathe out her name before she’s decided that this conversation was enough.

chaeyoung whirls around to face the door, scooting herself to the edge of the bed, far away from you. eyes stinging with tears, “i’ve heard just enough. thank you for your illuminating insight.” 

“chaeyoung—”

“don’t touch me,” she snaps at you, flinching your outstretched hand away. “i think we both should just go to bed. we’re done talking for today.” 

you slither back down on the mattress and into the fur sheets, reluctant. chaeyoung can feel the burning attention through the darkness in the cabin, but only after about ten minutes, the deep slow tide of your labored breathing lets her know that you’ve fallen asleep. only then she lets the tears fall on her face. 

she’s not qute sure how this very conversation came as such a daunting reality check—the loathing that you told her for her people the second they met, but—but it hurts. and it hurts. wildly. sensationally. every sob that leaves chaeyoung’s mouth was another nail on the cross she has to bear. 

i thought you were different.

she curls in on herself, back against yours, biting into her fist to stifle her sobs and whimpers.

you were supposed to be different. 

the idea comes to her very easily in the middle of the night.

madness of it all overcoming in a distressing thought present in her mind. 

chaeyoung stares down at you, unseeing. furs fallen below the waist, and the moonlight creating shadows along your canvased body. the sight sparks a warm fire in her, but it’s all overpowered by horror, vitriol even. 

take y/n’s knife, a voice whispers from within her head, sinister and insidious. take her knife and slit her throat while she sleeps.  

she could—and she can. she’s seen you prepare your essentials before heading out for hunting during the day to the point where she knows where you keep your weapons–on the rack, near the door— and chaeyoung has all the cause to put into effect; the gods above know she has every single justification. it’s all so simple to do, all she has to do is just do it. 

chaeyoung gets up and tiptoes to the clothing rack to the door, slipping your dagger away from your sheath with a trembling hand. walking back, each step heavy and slow, calculated even, crawling back to the bed and over you. through the dim moonlight breaking through the window, she can see your pretty face with relaxed sleep, lips parted with even breaths passing through. her heart leaps to her throat, almost like blood flooding upwards and aching. 

she leans over you, pressing the jagged edge to your adam’s apple. gritting her teeth, she musters up all the courage she could and slices-

just as quickly as it would seem, your eyes shoot open. larg hands flying to chaeyoung’s wrists, rolling her over in a flash, pinning her to the first and squeezing painfully. chaeyoung bursts into tears.

you kept calm, chaeyoung on the other hand implodes at your touch, the waves of grief, rage, and guilt for not killing you, the guilt stinging even more for even wanting to end your life in the first place. 

“i’m sorry,” she sobs out, shaking fitfully, trying to break free from your clutches. “i’m sorry, i’m so sorry.” 

her voice cracks at the end, fading into thin air while you press your body close. shusing her by trailing your finger over her face and lips. 

“it’s okay baby beast,” you breathed out softly. “there’s no need to cry, my precious one.” 

chaeyoung’s hand curls around your firm bicep–trying to push you away, muchso like pulling you closer. you run your palm over her wet cheek, hushing her, crooning her name in a soothing tone, a gentle cadence until her sobs diminish into more short, hitched breaths. you trail your thumb at the beauty mark under her lip again. 

“would it make you happier? to kill me?” 

yes, yes, yes, yes, chaeyoung thinks, her heart pulsing more blood in her system. but no. no. it wouldn’t make me feel happier at all. 

you don’t wait for her answer, slipping your hand over her trembling wrist and forces the blade upwards, securing the cold steel against the skin of your throat. chaeyoung is shaking earnestly now, her head thrashing against the mattress no, no. 

“i can give it to you if that’s what you want. my life.” 

“wait, y/n no please—” 

“or—” you take the knife away from her hand, flinging it against the darkness of the cabin, before laying her palms against your neck. your eyes were dimming, fevered you would say. “use your magic on me baby beast. kill me with your magic.” 

and—just for a moment, she tries to. staring up into your face and tries to remember how it felt from the first glance at you, what would have been ages ago, how so easy and simple it was for her to have enough hatred for you. the dreamy thought of setting your blood on fire, frezzing you to stone before cracking the skin into tiny pieces. the red cyclone in her chest, filled and fueled with loathing. 

chaeyoung wanted you dead. to see you rot at her touch. 

as that impulsive anger sparks, the regret washes through right after. she cringes away, curling her hands into fists that you bind back onto the mattress with just your one large hand over her head. she’s sobbing, her body shuddering with every dragged out exhale, and you’re hushing chaeyoung again, lips trailing over her face with subtle kisses. “chaeyoung, my baby beast, the beauty of my eyes.” 

“i’m sorry,” she weeps out. it’s all she can say at this point. the sharp, agonizing remorse stabs her chest to no refreain, the way your team of hunters stabbed her sisters, the way you did. but she’s clinging onto you, tilting her neck when you kiss down beneath her jaw, sucking her pulse point. chaeyoung’s in too deep. she can’t undo this mistake if she even thought of trying. 

“i’m not mad at you.” you go for another chaste peck at her chin, her eyelids, the slope of her cheekbone, the trail of her tears. “don’t cry baby, i could never be mad at you.” 

in what way or world can she explain that this isn’t your anger that she cares about but her own? the pulses of tempered rage and grief still present in her mind, pins eating her up from the inside. chaeyoung wants to be angry at you so badly—it’s clear that you were the enemy, it shouldn’t be this difficult—but she isn’t, not really. 

she’s just angry at herself and the weakness that she poses, how quickly it took for you to firmly place yourself as the one thing she needs in her life; one that she can depend on. she needs you now. so when you mouth down her face, she lets it happen-

willingly,

eagerly,

and whimpers once you two lock lips. 

an unforgiving heaven, a cursed homecoming.

the piercing betrayal and sin that seemed to invite itself in. you groan at the first touch of her lips when chaeyoung finally opens up to you, blooming like a flower in this cold world. while your other hand was keeping her two hands captive, you stroke her wet cheek, chaeyoung clings to you. 

“mine,” you breathe out, kissing her languidly, pressing her deeper into the mattress. mine. she fights the tempting laugh. how could she be so blind to this? 

chaeyoung pulls you back to her lips, afraid of hearing you speak, and shimmies a bit when she feels the rough palms slide up her legs, feeling the fabric of her dress. once you were settled, chaeyoung gasps in your face from the sensation of your trousers ripping against her thighs, the flex of your hard muscles beneath her touch. she’s sliding a finger down your abs, nails catching the little divot of a v-line just meeting your waistband. 

a swiped scratch from her and your hips buck forward, accidentally tapping her bare cunt. chaeyoung lets out a startled squeak from her throat, and you get the prompt to roll your hips into a slow grind. she’s throwing her head back, gasping, and wraps her arms around your neck. 

“you like that, don't you?” you grin, rocking your upper-most thigh a little more with a refined pace. your eyes are lidded, fluttering with much more bravado. “i–it feels good to you?” 

chaeyoung isn’t responding, only placing a sloppy kiss to your chin and continues to gyrate against your leg. the fabric of your trousers is starting to hurt her just a bit, but the ache is also gratifying. the justification not bearing to mind. 

you begin to kiss lower, down to her neck and chest, where you pause to palm her breasts, the sparks in your eyes. sliding the nightgown up to the top of her waist and brushing your mouth around her abdomen, fingers exploring every dune and the plush skin of her thighs, forcing them like parting the sea of great moses. the heat is now presented in all of its glory between chaeyoung’s legs, the eagerness, all sense of rational thought no longer there. she whines when you press a kiss to her cunt. 

“oh,” you sigh out, rapturous, and kisses her again. tongue hot against her pink flesh. the slick and wetness already on your mouth. “you’re so sweet, darling. i wish i could die doing this.” 

and like someone who was deprived of water in the desert, you dive back down, feasting on her core, spreading her lips to lick up and down. keeping your ear open to listen for what makes the more noise out of chaeyoung’s mouth, neglecting the actions that doesn’t have the same praise. when you find her clit, her stomach spikes, the ecstacy racing down from her spine. you’re searching for it, like a hawk floating in the air waiting for it’s prey. her pussy against your plush mouth, sucking, nibbling, humming until you can hear her shrieks.

chaeyoung leans forward to look down, cheeks flushing hotly when she finds your gaze already on her, eyes meeting with greed. she feels the slide of your tongue in her entrance to thrust it inside her and she’s sobbing again, falling back, rocking her hips against your face. 

“please,” she can hear herself begging. “god, please, please, please-” 

“i need to do this again,” you growl in between sucks on her clit. the deep vibration of your voice sending signals through her body. “but if you want to kill me, do it like this, chaeyoung. break my fucking neck.” 

there’s a pang of sorrow–guilt breaking through at the reminder, but this toe-curling pleasure is quick to replace it. you’re thrusting your tongue deep, laving at her fluttering walls. the sounds that chaeyoung is hearing coming out of your mouth is almost unholy, but it’s only increasing the anticipation. she feels as if she’s standing on a cliffside, the reveling sensation from the swoop of her belly as she waits for the fall; the imaginary coil–burning while it sits heavy in her cut to finally come undone. all that it’s gonna take is—

two digits of fingers sinks into chaeyoung’s core, rubbing upwards, your thumb pressing hard against her clit, and she finally breaks, sobbing as she clenches around you like a vice. you swallow the gush of wetness that follows through, moaning loudly, before crawling up to her shaking body to take her into your arms. the pusling sensation from your own core is staning itself with so much persistence, but you make no move to get yourself off. instead, you kiss chaeyoung’s face—again and again and again and agai—fixing your mouth to her ear, nibbling on her hanging lobe. 

“i am yours chaeyoung, from when i am still breathing until the moment i die. this devotion of mine is all that i need.” you whisper. 

chaeyoung huffs out a groan. she’s heard something like that from the wise women of the village that was almost another mantra. 

devotion.

you wake up the following morning to find chaeyoung sitting up, blankly staring forward with her back against the headboard. eyes soaked. 

a simpering grin spreads across your face and you scoot closer, taking her into your arms. she gasps, startled, but you press a kiss to her lips and swallows the sound. when she pushes back against you, you slide down, sucking at the delicate line of her throat. her fingers are clutching around your arm as she tilts her head back, choking on a sigh. you grin and drop another open chaste kiss to her collarbone. 

“my tiger cub,” you whisper, clinging to her. chaeyoung twitches a bit, clasping a hand around your wist, but you twine your fingers to hers, pressing a hard kiss to the back of her hand and middle knuckle. her face crumples, almost if she’s pained that this is happening between you two. 

but you’re an idiot, and you’re oblivious to this. staring at her face, the pinched brows and the baby pink curve of her pouty lips, you had to wonder when all of this had started to change. when did the sight of her—something that was used to fuel his hatred, a disdain that burned so hot within you–became so dear. loving chaeyoung now was the same essential as breathing. 

you want to say the words. the words are primed against your tongue, and they are heavy. heart beating with a pulsing, wet mass in the mold of it. 

“we should get out of here,” chaeyoung croaks out, suddenly, you smile, kissing the arch of her jaw. 

“but where would we go? a vacation down south? i think the weather is way better down there and it’s sunny.” 

“no.” to your surprise, her voice audibly cracks and she’s flinching herself away from you, shifting to the edge of the bed. she’s hunched over with knees to her chest and covers her face with her hands. “y/n, we have to leave.” 

“why?” you snap, sharply. panic begins to unravel in the pit of your stomach, a chill coming over your skin. you want to hug her, have chaeyoung in your arms or seal yourself with her, but she’s distancing herself. chaeyoung herself is shaking her head in disappointment. 

“because this isn’t—” chaeyoung suddenly surges to her feet and whirls around. your chest is caving in at the sight of tears on her face; you want to wipe them away, replace them with kisses. “w-what the hell happened last night? i don’t…this doesn’t make sense. i put a knife to your throat, but you… i can’t—”

“chaeyoung, calm down. what is that you’re trying to say?” 

“i don’t understand us. what we have here doesn’t make sense. we’re supposed to hate each other.” 

you laugh, the alarms in you not really ringing. is this really what she’s worried about right now? 

“i haven’t hated you for a long time now, baby beast,” you say with a stern tone, amused. “and what happened last night was inevitable. that was the end result of everything that we’ve been working towards to.” 

“y/n, i tried to kill you.” 

pure thrill courses through your veins again, and you grin. “exactly.” 

“what! are you actually insane?! i tried to slit your throat! i was going to!” 

“and i would’ve let your. if anyone is going to kill me, chaeyoung, i wanted it to be you. only you. my life is yours.” 

“so?!” she laughs out—almost like a sob even. “this is just some—s-some twisted marriage pact that you’ve created?” 

“i didn’t create anything!” you argue. “what in the fuck do you think we’ve been doing?!” 

“i don’t know! none of this doesn’t make sense to me anymore!” 

you get off from the bed, stalking over to you. “i’ve hunted and protected you. i kept you warm in this harsh cold that nature has thrown at us. i’ve been the one who’s providing. this has never been about killing you since we got here. and it hasn’t been for a very fucking long time!” 

“you should hate me!” chaeyoung shrieks. tears are rolling down her cheeks again just like last night. “you should want to kill me! last night when i had your own knife against you throat, you should’ve killed me instead!” 

the mere notion of holding her in your arms while blood is leaking from her sliced opening, the blood on your blade is more than enough to send your head in a twisting madness. “i couldn’t. i would never.” 

“you should. you’re supposed to hate me.” 

“i don’t. if anything, i-i—” a raw, brazen courage crawls up your throat, and you speak before you could even think twice about it.

“i love you.”

chaeyoung shakes her head from the three words you just uttered stupidly—”i love you, chaeyoung.” 

“that’s a fucking lie. no you don’t,” she sobs, bowing slightly with her head off to the side. “you don’t” 

“it’s what i feel! you could tell me otherwise, but it’s the truth! i love you!” 

“no! you hate me! you hate everything that i am! you think i’m a dirty runt-pig-whore and you’ve always have!” 

“when did i ever say—”

“the first night we met! when the hunters tried to—you asked them if it was compelling to fuck a pig!” 

“you–” you can’t believe she’s saying this. you can’t believe that you’re hearing this. “that was before i got to know you.” 

“do you have to know someone before you compare them to a fucking animal!?” 

your mouth opens, throat staining with the urge to argue, to reason everything that was entirely not true, but you remain speechless. the words are just not there. you place your hand over your face, fighting back the tears from coming out as chaeyoung wipes her own. her voice is more sorrowful, the tone quieter when she says, “you can’t love and hate me for what i am, y/n, that’s not how love works.” 

“i don’t—” i don’t hate what you are, you want to say, but the daring lie stirs sourly in your mouth. of course you hate for what she is. her kind is the reason you vowed to see everything true to the end. it’s all hatred, and you were devoted to fulfill it. 

“y-you are the exception,” you weakly say, but chaeyoung’s expression falls more, covering her face with her hands. 

“this needs to stop. it’s not good anymore, this life that we built together. this false charade that we’ve been deluding ourselves into.”  her words are falling to a more worked sob, and you swallow the lump in your throat, chest shaking. “i can’t play the role of your little wife anymore, y/n. we need to leave.” 

you want to stand your ground. but you can’t argue with what she’s saying when she’s right. the rage screaming out to act angry. your expression is stoic and the you on the inside wants to bury your face into her stomach, begging for comfort, for her love, to stay. 

but you do nothing. 

instead, you stomp toward the rack next to the door and toss chaeyoung her wolf pelt. 

“fine,” you start, putting on the layers of fur on your back with so much efficiency, “if you want to leave so badly, we can go now. get your shit together and let’s get out of here. i’ll be outside."

chaeyoung is left stricken, wide-eyed as she sees you storm out the door of the cabin and into the freezing cold, heaving out once reaching to the stump used to make firewood. tears are streaming down your face. 

you fall to your knees that are met with the snow beneath and hang your head in shame. 

the few days that come after that heated conversation are as tortuous as the first time you and chaeyoung meet. 

you don’t even talk to chaeyoung. it should be relieving but it isn’t. when you and her walk, it’s in silence. when you sit near the fire to warm up, it’s quiet. when it’s time to get in the sheets of the mattress, it’s forced, but still silent. the cold aura is the same as the air around you. 

everything stays the same however. you hunt for food and another place to set up camp while chaeyoung cooks and warms you with her magic whenever she can. the only big difference in the dynamic is the companionship; their fragile, tenuous truce—fruited with hope, once thick with craving—is now a searing rift. you and her are back to the start in all of this. 

worse than, chaeyoung thinks, despairingly. now you can’t even look at me.

it’s another harsh freezing night. you are huddled over the fire, stroking the flame with the flimsy tin plate while chaeyoung is on the opposite end, shivering under the bundles of pelts, trying to encapsulate any warmth she could keep. normally, you would notice this and cuddle behind her, wrap your arms around her waist and have her back against your chest. but you don’t—the offering is no longer there anymore, and chaeyoung doesn’t even bother to ask. 

once the fire is at a suitable height, you lean back and wrap your set of furs. chaeyoung is darting her eyes at you as you get your self comfy with the fabrics under your chin, eyes glowing in the flames and you turn over without even flashing a look at chaeyoung even once. 

it’s no surprise or unexpected, but it stings. the feeling all the more present in its own right. chaeyoung bites her inner lip as tears sting the corners of her eyes. she wants to say something, a goodnight, to–to apologize, but the notion is near impossible to do. there’s nothing to be sorry about. she was right about everything that she said and she stands by it. she knows this. but still, the regret still lingers, chewing away inside her from the moments where the loneliness grows to great lengths, and now she’s wanting. 

seemingly made fit of her to feel so. 

“chaeyoung,” she blinks, startled once again, to find you looking over from the other side of the fire centered in the middle of you two, expression eerily blank. “you finished eating right?” 

no, i couldn’t swallow anything that you made without wanting to throw it up in disgust. 

“yes,” she whispers, nodding your head in acknowledgement before turning around again. chaeyoung listens to your breathing to be at a steady tempo before she allows herself the luxury of wallowing. once in the bed together, you were already fast asleep while chaeyoung cries into the wolf pelt that you made for her until she too falls asleep, restless and fitful from the growing pain within her. 

a couple days pass, and you toss her a leg from a chicken to her for breakfast one morning, packing all of your supplies with a single goal in mind. you’ve grown antsy because you and chaeyoung were getting closer to a town nearby down the mountain range. the sea of trees slowly breaking and the wide river that was once frozen has traces of other campgrounds. it would only be a matter of time until they’ll be separated again. the knowledge lances through chaeyoung like an arrow to her chest. she can’t even fathom or build up the energy for guilt anymore.

the sun beams down in the highest point of the sky, warm on your faces, and when they run into an old woman. she’s on the way to the other end, holding a mailer’s bag that has herbs inside while she hobbles past. chaeyoung tenses up when she notices her, sensing that tie that’s binding the; that great power where they draw magic from.

but you were with her, and you might decide to be cautious on whether or not to sink your blade into this woman’s chest. blood on your face stained while chaeyoung watches and remembers the sights of—

that’s when the old woman looks up with a beaming smile. 

“hello sister,” she says, walking over.” are you on the way to the nearby town?” 

“i–uh—yes,” chaeyoung replies, “just me and my…”

she catches herself mid sentence, not sure of what to call you. wife? lover” dear god no—a sister? luckily for chaeyoung, the elder witch seemed to think something else otherwise. 

“i’m assuming your wife?” 

“yes!” chaeyoung says, taking your hand and sending you a pleading look. “my wife.” 

beside her, you stand stiffly, tensing up to your shoulders, lips pressing to a pout and holding a breath while you grip chaeyoung’s hand tightly. to her surprise, you were actually more afraid than menacing. 

“you girls look beautiful together! so when was the wedding?” 

“about a month and a half ago,” chaeyoung replies softly. 

the old witch gasps with delight. “that’s so wonderful! here, a small present for two.” 

she reaches into her bag to pull out a fresh, purple lily. chaeyoung tries to turn her down, thankful for the kindness, but she’s insisting, shoving the small band of flowers into her hands. then she turns to you.

“you have a lovely, young bride. make sure you treat her well.” 

“don’t worry,” you say, “i will. i plan to for as long as she’ll let me.” 

there’s a damming glint of honesty behind that phrase almost revealing the whole act, but it sends tears to the eyes all the same. the old woman smiles and pats chaeyoung’s cheek. 

“she’s a good one. you two behave now, alright?” 

chaeyoung nods, laughing at the elder’s joke. she’s afraid she’ll stop crying if she stops. 

just before the elder witch leaves, she points you and chaeyoung into the direction of the nearest town—about a mile and a half off and continues her walk up the mountain, waving goodbye in the distance. for a quick second, chaeyoung still has the fear that you would hunt her down and chuck an arrow into her back, but you don’t. you simply just continue forward, and it should be expected for you to act like a sensible humaning behind instead of a cult member—but this meant the world to chaeyoung. 

while you walk forward with all of the belongings from the cabin on your back, chaeyoung sniffles just behind without you knowing, wiping away her burdening tears before tailing you on the trek to the town. you pause to allow her to catch up to you. 

that said town that the elder witch pointed out. you are frozen solid as you lead chaeyoung through the busy streets, grip on her wrist tightening by the second enough to keep her from being overwhelmed by the new sights and sounds. once you two reach an inn, you get a room for the night, guiding her through the second floor to the room near the end of the complex. 

unlocking the door, prompting chaeyoung to step inside and you follow after her. a soft click sounds off from the door shutting behind, but the sound sounds more scary much like a scream. the silence that fallos over them feels poignant, but dangerous like an icy chasm. 

“i’ll go get a fire started,” you say, stepping towards the hearth set next to the kitchen counters. 

chaeyoung takes a look around the big room, the large single bed and the draping curtains, grasping desperately for a distraction, but it’s hypnotic like getting lost in the smoky mist. she sits herself on the edge of the bed, palms against the bed frame, feeling the better sturdiness compared to the mattress back at the cabin. it’s softer than the one they used to sleep on, but still unappealing. 

she knows that you would probably offer to take the bed and have you sleep on the floor, rather use your furs instead of sleeping next to her, the loneliness becoming more expansive before you or her even say anything. 

the separation was necessary, and she knows this. it would be better for you to go your own way and meet up with the other hunters and for chaeyoung to build a new life, to heal and help others, but—

even though it might be the right thing to do, it hurts. a ferocity that’s paining her, she doesn’t want you to leave. the idea of saying goodbye, parting from you like the last month had never happened, stabs her through the gut. after everything she’s been through, the losses and suffering, it was too much to bear. 

chaeyoung lingers on the bed, you knelt in front of the fireplace, shoulders hunched over. quietly, it almost breaks the silence that’s persistent but she could hear you.

“i’m sorry.” you say. 

her heart jumps to her throat. she snaps to face you. “what?” 

“i’m sorry,” you say again, stronger, and you also turn around. you look absolutely wrecked. “i’m sorry, chaeyoung. i’m sorry for hurting you. i’m sorry for ruining your life. i’m sorry for—for destroying your village and killing all of your loved ones. i–i’m just—i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.” 

chaeyoung can’t even believe the waves of emotion that eclipses over her: the potent mix of rage and grief, stomach boiling with just pure unjust—heart wrenching sorrow. before she could even compose herself, she breaks into tears, sinking back into the mattress, wailing into her hands. you immediately crawl over to her. 

you grab her knees, opening them apart, pleading eyes gleaming up with hers. “i’m so sorry. the words that i’m saying aren’t enough to say it wholeheartedly, but i am. i am.” 

“why?” she sobs out through her hands. “why are you—?” 

“because the idea of you leaving here is impossible for me to bear without knowing what i feel.” you take her hands away from her face, intertwining your fingers with her. “and— because i love you, chaeyoung. that’s been the truth for me for so long now.” 

“y/n—” 

“i won’t lie anymore. there’s so much about everything that i’ve been taught that’s been confusing me.” you start off with breaths becoming more and more shakier. “i’ve been trained all my life to kill people like you since i was twelve, and more than that, i’ve been beaten down to the point where i’m supposed to hate you. there’s still so much anger inside me that i don’t even know what to do with it, but…i’m trying. i’m willing to try. i want to be so much better than this.” 

chaeyoung shakes her head, overwhelmed with the second confession, and you bury your face into her lap, fingers clinging to her skirt. 

“and if you want to turn me down that’s fine with me too,” you say, the wrecked expression still wearing on your face. “i’ll-i–i’ll accept it. i’ll give you whatever you need in order to get by in this town and then i’ll just—” 

she shushes you, lifting your head from her knees, sliding her palms over your cheeks. she’s staring down at you, the wet, colorful eyes and the stream marks from the tears slipping down to the midpoint of your cheek and chin. you have the face of a murderer. she’s seen it all. she’s seen what your hands look like when it’s riddled with blood, regardless of who or what it may be, and she despise you for now profoundly you can hate what you don’t understand, but yet—

the daunting fact, or realization of that matter was the point that she loves you too. chaeyoung loves you. you. she loves you despite the facts; she loves you because of it. it wasn’t the airy, light feeling that she’s heard from the older sisters back at the village. it’s deep and she’s being sucked down into it, clawing and twisting, maiming from within with so much force.

but love is hopeful. love is hopeful. loving you will always feel like taking a leap of faith. 

and chaeyoung lets it all fall down. 

she slides off the bed and into your lap, straddling you, cupping your face and wiping away the tears that are dried on your cheeks. 

“this may be the one decision that i will ever make in my life, but i love you. i hate myself for feeling like this, but i do, and i think a part of me will always resent you for what you did, but–” a deep breath, shuddering her vocal chords and leans in to your angled jaw with her temple. “if i have to try every passing day to forgive you in order to love you then i might just have to do so. i think i can do that.” 

“do you really mean–” you utter, the words are coming out of your mouth so fast they’re almost jumbled into one run on sentence. “you mean like actually—” 

“i love you y/n,” she breathes out. “i do, i do, and i do.” 

you bind an arm around her waist, crushing her towards you, kissing her desperately. chaeyoung meets  you with the same fevored energy, burying her fingers into your hair to bring you closer, and closer, much more closer. tears dripping against her face and she’s kissing them away, the salt coating her tongue. “i love you,” whispering against your skin. 

a broken sob breaks out from you, sliding your hands down to her thighs. you’re lifting chaeyoung, pressing her back to the rug beneath you, the light emitting from the fireplace, and you lower yourself, settling between her open legs. chaeyoung wraps them around your waist, hungry for the weight of you against her; frantically inviting you in; you can never be closer enough. 

your lips break away from hers to track more open-mouthed kisses down her face, to her neck, lingering over her pulse. the hard suck pulling a squeaked whimper from her before soothing it with the wide of your tongue. the rolling heat sinks down more and more; chaeyoung is getting twitchy; the burn of arousal consuming her. 

she’s all too familiar with it now. she knows that eagerness that’s growing within and she’s too embarrassed to admit this, but she’s fantasized about this sometimes while trekking down the mountains. chaeyoung imagined your mouth, the stretch of your fingers inside her, your tongue. she wants more of you, all to be deflowered at the touches you offer. 

so she raises her hips to your thigh, grinding her core against her leg as she presses her mouth against your ear. “i need you,” she whispers out. it’s everything that you needed to hear out of her. 

sighing out in response, you crush chaeyoung more into the rug on the floor with so much excitement. rucking up the nightgown and helping her, raising her arms to rip it off before tossing her on the bed again. the hitched breath with a hint of a moan once her body meets the mattress. your hands find her breasts, chaeyoung hissing at the sensation of your roughened palms against the hard buds of her nipples, massaging them, testing the perkiness of how petite they were. 

your eyes were hooded, a twinkle sparkling through at the sight of her flushed cheeks at your touch. “can i-” 

chaeyoung looks away, biting her lip at the notion that you were aiming towards. “well, yes.” 

without thinking twice, you dive for her breast, kissing the ample flesh before enveloping a bud into your mouth. chaeyoung gasps sharply when you lave your tongue over it, the other hand continuing to feel the unoccupied mound. she’s searching for friction, and she’s not satisfied enough when your knee nudges against her clit. she moans loudly this time, insisting for more. 

spurred by this desperation, you lift your lips from her breast with a chaste kiss before kissing down her stomach. chaeyoung knows that you’re planning and tries pulling you back up to her face, the impatience breaking through, but you hush her, the smile indulging at what she wants, what she needs. “let me have your cunt first, baby beast. i want you to be ready.” 

you spread her legs, fingers parting her lips before licking up her core. the broad strip that ends at her throbbing pussy. she’s sobbing again, thighs tensing around your head as you drink her up mercilessly, head thrashing against the pillows. she is too ready for you, all riled up, so when you brush your mouth at her core again, she lets out a strangled cry, whining while she’s nearly ripping the hair off from your scalp. 

the fingers haven’t even come into play yet, and she’s already on her first high. by the end of that, her legs are shaking, and she’s reduced to nothing more but mush. once you retreat your mouth from the swollen pussy, chaeyoung is whimpering at the loss of the stimulating feeling that you gave her, placing another kiss on her inner thigh. 

she’s reaching for you, not meeting your eyes and her face is still flushed out. you kiss her palm, “i’m not going anywhere, my love,” you say, taking off your top and bra. chaeyoung sighs out when you fall back to her, fingers slipping against her entrance again, teasing her. the greedy entrance of her slick soaking your fingertips. she’s grasping your shoulder, silently pleading with her eyes from the fireplace, and you laugh–a small thing, but broken. 

“fuck me chaeyoung,” you gasp, thumb pressing her clit lightly to let out another hitched moan from her lips, biting the inner part of her mouth. “i planned on—you said you were gonna leave me.” 

her hands find your face again, and she kisses you, slowly and with so much passion. once she breaks away from you, she whispers, “i can’t.” not ever.

your gaze softens at the sight of her, sweet as sugar, and you slip inside her. chaeyoung’s breath hitches at the contact, fear tickling at the base of her throat, but you increase the quantity and it’s all the way. 

the stretch of your fingers inside chaeyoung stings, but you’ve prepared her for it well. the slicked entrance makes it good, and it’s all too easy. it’s giving in much more than you initially thought. every knuckle reaches and you’re pushing, not faltering. within just a few seconds, she’s flushed at your fingers, sheathing themselves all the way inside, curling her g-spot. she clutches at you, moved by the same feeling from that one night, the sensation so familiar but new that she almost starts to tear up again. 

mouth is parted, your eyes are lidded. chaeyoung is gasping at the sparks of pleasure that is searing at her gut and she’s increasing her grip on your. “please,” she whispers, bucking her hips at the hand inside her. “give me more, please.” 

destroyed in rapture at the sight of chaeyoung’s lip parted open, head doubled back on pace from your thrusting hand, it drove you even more. you’re kissing into her neck, sucking away, harshly kissing again as your free hand trails over to her breast again, massaging the mound to add more to the already present wreckage that chaeyoung is going through.

“you feel so good around my fingers,” you growl out, another snap sharpened from the lips. “so tight. god what you do to me is sinful, baby beast.” 

“like this–” she sobs out. “i want to be like this for you” she says fully, a laugh coming out of you that sounds like a trembling rumble that could strike her all the way down to her curled toes.

chaeyoung is still clinging at you, keening as you continue to pound her. in between sucks on her neck, you’re saying nonsense, calling her your sweet girl, my precious one: “my little wife and her pretty, wet cunt.” 

the legs are clamping around your hand, the strokes becoming more and more jerkier, you’re seeking it out, pressing a thumb to her clit again, teasing to get the release faster, chuckling when she’s whining in protest. you’re rubbing a circle in addition to your thrusting fingers, and chaeyoung is biting back a shout, reading up as the rope in her gut is starting to tighten, contracting on the near edge of release. you’re trying to part her clenched legs. 

you’re growling again, much more ferocity now. “you need it?” 

“yes,” she whsipsers, eyes clenched shut. “yes, yes, yes, yes—” 

with a pinch of a clit with your thumb and forefinger, chaeyoung is spazzing out, biting back a scream that would still be let out for the neighboring guests to hear, trembling. you’re still working her cunt with four fingers inside, the grip nearly strong enough to break your fingers, biting her inner thigh until she calms down at your touch, the pace slowly dissipating. 

you slide your fingers out, crawling over to chaeyoung’s side before collapsing on top of her, the weight almost crushing, but it’s welcoming, wrapping her arms around your neck. she’s kissing thetop of your head. “i love you.” 

“and i love you too,”  you pant out, tapping her shoulder. “but i’d hate to get you worked up so soon after hearing that, baby beast.” 

chaeyoung lets you roll off her body, slowly, before turning on her side to face you. the soreness creeping through as the flickering glow of the fireplace sets shadows against the planes of your toned frame, the hard muscles and turns your skin to a golden bronze, radiating like the sun. 

she’s smiling at you, brushing her thumb against your sweaty cheek. “my sun,” she whispers out. 

you take her hand after, “my wife.” 

tears are flooding her eyes, streaming down to her cheeks, but you caress her before kissing the stained stream away. when you pull back, chaeyoung is also happy to find that you were crying too.

“what’s on your mind?” you ask her. 

you, chaeyoung thinks. this is insanity to every definition. all preposterous to every front. 

but she doesn’t want to ruin the air with her worries, so she answers, “you think the other guests would mind after what we just did? or do you want me to have my turn at you now?” 

you blink at her, stunned, before lying on your back which gives chaeyoung an opportunity to slide on top of you. kissing away at your body to find all of the spots possible to get your buttons going. you roll over with her between your arms, smothering her lips with another kiss from yours. 

“i could give less of a fuck if we get a noise warning this late at night.” you say, and chaeyoung is laughing against your mouth. 

“make sure your eyes are closed, okay?” 

“y/n, your hands are over them.” 

“but that doesn’t mean that you can’t keep them closed. oh shoot—wait, wait hold on.”

chaeyoung squeals, startled, when she feels your hands slide behind her back and knees, binding her up against you carrying bridal-style. she hears the sound of a swinging door open and your voice, flush against her ear with a smile breaking through saying, “okay, baby beast. you can open them now.” 

so she does and gasps immediately with awe, clinging to you while you put her back to the ground. her eyes are flickering with awe over the kitchen, the large hearth, the furniture, it’s all spread around the open space. she turns back to you and kisses you, hard, keeping her arms wrapped around your neck. 

“you did all of this?” she breathes out, “but where did you—” 

“of course,” you say, too satisfied. “i managed to buy some of the pieces from a couple of sellers, but most of the other stuff is from me.” 

“oh. was it too much to buy in the first place?” 

“no, not really. remember that i have a little bit of cash to spend.” 

chaeyoung nods, taking care to not mention how you managed to get that kind of money, tugging your hands along the open space. “show me the rooms.” 

you grin, taking her hand and leading her down the spacious hallway. you open a door and lead chaeyoung inside, the smile more apparent now when you hear her gasp again. a large bed sits against the wall, the headboard made of metal sprawling, thick roots that may look like they come from a tree. there’s a sitting nightstand with a neighboring drawer in the same corner. chaeyoung stumbles back on your chest, hand over her throat. “i-i don’t know what to say.” 

“do you like it?” you whisper against her ear.

“i do. i do. you know that i do.” 

“we have two other spare bedrooms.” you say, kissing the curve of her jaw. “maybe we can put them to good use.” 

“what are you thinking of?” 

you hum at the sight of the unoccupied bed, lips pressed against as you bury your chin on chaeyoung’s shoulder. 

“we can always move stuff around, but i’ve been thinking about helping.” 

“helping with what?” 

“there’s a building here around town that is helping with those who have been ripped away from their families, orphans.” you say. “some of them have the potential to create magic i heard.” 

“but don’t you want to have someone that’s able to hunt?” 

chaeyoung turns towards you, smiling into the kiss again while your hands are tied at the endpoint of her back. “you did say i wanted to teach someone my magic.” 

“so you want to adopt?” 

chaeyoung hums, considering the plausible offer you presented. “let’s adopt. it’s always better when there’s another besides the two of us.” 

you grin with triumph before lifting chaeyoung again, tossing her to the bed. she’s laughing, accepting your weight easily as you press her deep into the mattress, blooming like a lovely flower. 

love. love is powerful. it can change someone in ways that no one would expect. 

devotion. the pledge for a cause that’s unwavering and has a similar meaning to love. 

sin. it’s damming, but you’ve committed worser crimes in your lifetime that will get you to that warm home of hell eventually.

loving chaeyoung, doesn’t feel like a sin at all.

Wifey 🥰🥰

BUT I SOLAR (2024)

Kitty masterpost

She’s such a cutie 🫠🫠🫠

cutie

Loved this so much, and damn that ending was bold 🫠

do you miss my name (said it between your breaths)

park jihyo & fem!reader

hi can i get an order of sapphics being sapphics and an extra shot of panic?

it’s a saturday today

while any other saturday is just as good to you, this is a very special saturday

all because today you are going to indulge yourself and go to a sapphic event

you were nervous, the bones were rattling, the teeth chattering, your breathing coming in short breaths, and your right leg bouncing up and down.

it was saturday, and you are going to faint at the bare thought of potentially seeing a goddess tonight.

just a week ago you were excited, remembering the happy gasp you had made when you saw the event promotion through instagram. you had barely gotten the last slot, which meant to you it was a sign to finally to venture out more

when the days before started to come by, it starts to hit you bit by bit, well until today. you sitting down on your bed, overthinking what to even wear

it doesn’t help that your style is typically like a college student, baggy sweatpants and a hoddie as your style from day to day when clocking off work. your friends barely threw any parties or celebrations too, so the most presentable outfit was a pair of slacks, a button up white long sleeve, paired with your leather shoes.

oh you are so doomed

but today is saturday, and sana is always looking for people to makeover on saturdays for fun

“hm” sana opens her closet, ruffling through the selection of dresses she wears “what do you feel about dresses?”

“not a fan but also not against it?” you are now sitting on sana’s bed, only now your leg won’t stay still out of habit “i mean it would be nice if it was long and flowy”

sana is still ruffling, and is now opening her drawers nearby to look at for more options

“was there a theme?”

“no not really, they just said like it was like a get together and you can talk and wine and paint?”

“paint? oooohh aren’t you a lover girl—oh what do you feel about dresses that show your back—ah no wait, it’s painting and wine, not really the right dress”

“yeah i mean it’s happening at that that thai restaurant downtown. the one that’s selling like those really good milkteas that i only knew now”

“psh you are such a loser, i love you but those milkteas have been there since like 5 months ago when i took tzuyu on a date”

“don’t you mean when my sister got stood up and you sped your way there?”

“shut up” sana shushes you, simply throwing you her floral dress, your eyes questioning the the fact that it’s a backless dress. a pretty floral dress that can kill

you look back up at her, already knowing she won’t take no for an answer despite what she said earlier

so yeah it’s saturday, sana is dressing you up. making sure you look the prettiest in that event. her gushing and tzu’s voice over the facetime reassuring a bit of your worries

jihyo on the other hand, totally isn’t stressing out. her outfit planned, ironed out on her bed. her new boots, which momo took courtesy of wearing it out with nothing but hands and stairs, already ready by the door.

“aren’t you excited for tonight” momo says over breakfast, observing jihyo across the table “more excited you’ve ever been since your last gig”

“i know i’m kind of shaking” jihyo laughs, and if momo notices the shakiness of it, she doesn’t comment or acknowledge it “it’s been a while”

momo doesn’t really continue the topic, knowing how long since jihyo has indulged in this kind of stuff. 5 years of focusing on the band and work made jihyo uninterested in any kind of romantic relationship or even simple dates.

“mhm and sana says she wants to do a girls night, so i won’t be home, probably going to crash at nayeon’s place if she gets too drunk” momo tells her, already giving away the apartment for the night “if jeongyeon will even let them drink”

jihyo barely thinks that someone might come home with her tonight, she doesn’t want to bring someone home in the first place. so she only replies with a muffled ‘okay’ before munching down the rest of her breakfast

so simple saturday for jihyo, a little excited, a little worried, but honestly it’s wine and paint and yummy food. she isn’t too worried or anxious

so someone explain to her why when it hits five p.m., when she’s in front of the restaurant, the organizers are happily ushering her in, her breath gets stuck in her throat as she notices how much other sapphics are there already

she’s looking around, taking notes at every person she sees, even the ones who stare at her for too long that she’s sporting a blush on the tip of her ears

it’s early, jihyo knows that, but when you walk in before it hits six p.m., she feels like she’s being sucker punched over the table she’s sitting at

you’re barely any better, but god sana was having so much fun with your makeup that it leaves most of the attendees double taking on you. the backless floral dress is a bold choice, but having half of the venue gawking at how you look makes you feel shy

nervous, excited, anxious. those were what both of you were feeling and yet—

when you see her, your throat goes dry at how she looks. sporting in a simple fit tank top, a leather jacket, dark baggy jeans and killer boots, you contemplate if you want her or to be her

when she sees you, she thinks she’s been blessed by sappho herself. the dress is stunning yes, but the way you smile, the way your eyes keep her from looking away, your glow under the warm lights

this isn’t love at first sight

this is finally finding someone who you might be your soulmate

the organizers wisk you away though, towards the registration booth and jihyo has to blink the stars out of her eyes before nursing her wine again. her nerves finally showing her what it means to get curious, excited and anxious all at the same time

she keeps her eyes on you, the way you smile and chat with the registration team. the way your hair drapes over your shoulders, the way your laugh sounds like an angel’s call, the way your back flexes those subtle muscles that makes everyone know that you work out

she doesn’t look away even when you take your stub and claim your free wine, giggling at that tall organizer that’s too close to you. that pesky ugly (she isn’t jihyo is just jealous) one that is trying to charm you away

so jihyo does what future you thinks is adorable and future her thinks is so stupid

“i think you don’t need to tell this pretty lady the same pick up line you use and fail for every person you met tonight”

you turn around and face jihyo, who’s eyes are glaring at the organizer, who’s stuttering a response. her hands barely ghosting over your waist, claiming you away from them.

not that you mind anyway her hands stayed there the entire night

she barely lets the organizer have a coherent reply, as she leads you towards her table, her heart racing as you laugh at the organizer’s defeated face. her brain itching to get more of that kick, more of your happiness out loud

“the pick up line isn’t that bad” you tell jihyo, your voice having the power to make jihyo fall on her knees

“no you don’t understand it’s been, what 30 minutes of her trying the same pickup line? on over 29 other women? i need her to stop and you don’t deserve that” jihyo lets you sit down, your breath hitching at how much you catch yourself enjoying much of jihyo’s undivided attention to you

“yeah? well” you try to look at her eyes properly, you really do. it’s just when she tilts her head and lets some strands of hair cover her eyes, you fond yourself looking away, knowing that she now resembles a look of a puppy “thank you for saving me then”

“anything for a pretty girl” what is jihyo even saying? momo would point and laugh at her right now if she were here, but she isn’t. it’s you who’s here and it’s you who blushes and ducks her head

so you both finally talk, despite the fact that you both are a mess, on this beautiful saturday evening. the organizers give out painting materials and the items you both want to paint. her’s being an ash tray despite being a non-smoker and yours being a a small woman’s bust, just to add decor in your home.

conversation flows, sharing hobbies, favorite food, travel spots, respective jobs, recommended music genres, best recipes for drinks, niche interests.

even then jihyo notices when the paint gets on your arm, her hands moving before she can think

“here let me” she basically focused on only you, barely on the ash tray she chose to paint. her hands already gently wiping the paint on your arm and her body inching closer towards yours

it’s only then you realize that she’s so close to your face when she looks up, your breaths tangling in the air, your lips only a few inches apart

“mhm” so close she is so close, but much to your disappointment, one of the organizers comes by to check on your progress, effectively making jihyo pull away a respectable arm’s reach before reassuring that everything is going well bb

damn were you expecting a kiss?

you don’t know how to even explain it

still you find that her company is nice, her jokes are good and makes you laugh, that she’s attentive and helps you remember to paint carefully, her smile now finally engraved in your head.

so when the paint dries, you get some food, you can’t deny that you’re into her. the way she smiles at every delighted sound as you eat, the way she becomes ‘angry’ with every bite, the way she wipes away any food or sauce near your lips with her thumb, her eyes lingering a bit too long for you to deny it.

so dinner is also good, amazing even, because wow you just learned that the world is small, and your roommate is apparently childhood friends with her roommate. so the only thing keeping you both from meeting each other any time sooner is because she’s so busy

jihyo also find this whole experience amazing, because she’s managed to keep you giggly this entire time, she’s now a person closer to seeing you again and again, she can take you out for coffee every weekend when she has to drag momo to sana for their weekly hangouts.

oh and yeah the food gets paid by jihyo. even if you protest it goes in vain, and she teases you to simply return the favor next time.

“next time?” you playfully scoff, walking towards the exit with jihyo, your arms linked together, eyes once more on you in either with happiness or in envy “what makes you think of a next time”

she opens the door for you, and leads you out of the prying eyes of others, but it doesn’t matter. not when you both only have it on each other

“i just know sweet girl” jihyo is cocky, but she’ll make you love this side of her more and more you see her “i just know”

KA-BOOM

the sound of thunder redirects both of you to look up at the sky, the rain pouring down on the city. both of you completely forgetting to check the weather app before leaving

“i forgot my umbrella” you look up at the sky, the lightning flashes dancing around, indicating that rain is all night. maybe even until the morning

jihyo also looks up, the first drops of rain splattering down at the side walk in front of them. it doesn’t get any of you wet, but she looks at you, and notices your eyes dimming at the thought of rain and no umbrella

“i can drive you home” jihyo says without a thought

“oh you’re so sweet but i really don’t want to bother you. it’s late and i don’t want to overstep anything”

“nonsense” she’s already wrapping her jacket around you, you’re breath hitching at how looking up at her is changing your brain “i have to make sure this gorgeous girl gets home safe”

she runs off to her car across the street before you can even reply, gawking at how bold she is and how much you are enjoying it. one hand holding both of your bags with your art works inside, and the other holding the leather jacket to keep you warm.

you barely have to wait a minute on the entrance of the restaurant, when jihyo returns, the large clear umbrella enough to keep you dry. she helps you stand up, zip up the jacket and pats down your dress.

she’s already grabbing your things before you can argue, shushing you up and leading both of you towards her car, which she drives you home with all the songs you tell her sounds nice, and her hand holding yours over the gear stick.

“i had fun tonight” you guys arrive at your apartment building, your fantasy coming to an end “especially with you”

jihyo doesn’t want this dream to stop

so she does what her heart tells her to.

in the future, she tends to flush red at the remembrance that she leaned too far and has to tilt her head up, just to kiss you. her hands resting gently on your waist and your arms on top of her shoulders, leaving you both star struck

“is that ok?” jihyo is nervous when she pulls away and looks at you, eyes closed and lips parted, tempting her to go for another kiss

“mhm” she melts when you open your eyes and give her a smile, the one that punches her in the gut “can i get another one? preferably right now and another one on my couch”

We get Sana’s POV too?!?! I love it!! Thank you

north and south poles | minatozaki sana

summary: sana wonders, are we not the two sides of the magnet?

pairing: childhood-friend!sana x fem!reader

themes: extremely angsty, best friends to ?? to ??, internalized homophobia, gender dysphoria, sana's not too great of a friend, reader is a pushover until she isn't, implied sex, original male character, [----] x reader

wc: 3.3k

(side a: we can't be friends - ariana grande)

when sana's seven, her mother explains the cardinal rules in life. that boys and girls are polar opposites, like two sides of the coin, or like left and right. boys and girls are like the north and south poles of a magnet. and for a long time this holds true.

boys like to play rough, kick dirt over each other, chase after poor cats in hopes of catching them, or smack each other in the head. it's all a bit too gruesome for sana. she never did like watching them play, it felt like they were fighting. boys are like boxing matches, competing for a top winner. but girls are different.

girls are gentle, they play with dolls together, creating groups to play house or sliding down slides, and everyone cheers each other on. girls also like sharing cool things they found: cute rocks, rings, and toys. girls are like gentle waves crashing against the beach.

sana makes this distinction very early on, boys are boys and girls are girls. there's no in between for a seven year old sana. and life gets explained to her pretty easily by her mom. be a pretty girl, and you'll marry a good man who'll protect you and your family.

but her mother also told sana that you were a rowdy kid. a girl that played with the boys; you liked kicking dirt at the boys, chasing cats to catch them, or smacking each other in the head. but you were a girl, you also liked playing with dolls, and sliding down slides. you especially liked cute rocks, so you were someone she needed clarification with how to categorize as a kid.

so she asked her mom about you.

"oh her, she has no manners. her parents probably don't have enough time to teach her all that. they're both always so busy at work." her mother's chopping onions as she speaks, not lifting an eye at sana. and little sana rocks herself back and forth in the kitchen, a little confused by her own mom.

she's met your parents, they were nice people. offering royal milk tea to her, even if she wasn't allowed to have it. they always gave sana first pick for dishes they made, always. and like them, you often gave her parts of your lunch whenever sana was given too little.

and when sana enters middle school, this cardinal rule starts to shake a bit. boys are boys and girls are girls, but you are a girl, with boy-ish tendencies.

you liked playing rough with fuji, throwing dirt at each other even if it stained each other's school uniform. you liked shoving bigger boys when they were mean to girls, even if you had a black eye and sana had to rub a hard boiled egg over it.

but you were also as gentle as a girl, you held sana's hand gently whenever she wanted to walk along the rock wall, balancing on the ledge. you also helped blow and wash off sana's cuts whenever she scraped her knee in dance. just like how her mother does it.

you were the in between, and in between's don't exist in her mother's cardinal rule. when her mother and father sit at the dinner table and sana's mother asks her which boy in class she thinks is cute. sana doesn't think of any boy, but she thinks of you. you with your rough exterior with the older boys, but gentle and soft to sana, always.

"fuji?" her mother asks her. and sana thinks about fuji, a dependable friend in her life. a boy that is also gentler, although sometimes she thinks he's too loud during basketball. he shoves harder than you do, when you three play tag together. his hands are more rough, he towers over sana and really she sees him like an older brother.

sana thinks fuji is exactly the guy that her mother would like for her to marry.

"yeah, i think so." but sana really doesn't think so, her mind drifts off to your long hair and your soft shoulders.

--

when sana's twelve and excited to go home with you after the sga meeting, fuji confesses to her at the back of the school. he presents to her a letter. and through it all, the only thing she could gather was that sana was the prettiest girl in their class, and she has the prettiest smile.

all these compliments feel nice, but it doesn't stir her like you do. when you tell her that her hair is pretty today or that the bow she chose to match her shoes makes her look look fashionable. she stands by the wall, hands behind her back and staring at her shoes. all she can afford to do is nod at the words.

she knows this much, fuji is nice enough. he doesn't kick her chair like some other boys in the class; he always lets her walk inside the sidewalk when there are cars. so when he asks for a first date, she agrees, not letting her eyes look up at him. he walks away relieved, but sana can't feel anything other than a weight in her stomach.

another cardinal rule her mother told her is that lying is wrong.

so she asks for your opinion, and as she stands by your desk, watching you peacefully take a nap. she thinks about just ripping up the letter in her hand. she readies herself for the best performance of her life. to ask you a question that's self-indulgent. if you'll be her first kiss. and just like that she broke another cardinal rule, lying to you, but mostly to herself.

she thinks your lips would be soft, smelling like that cherry lipstick you like so much. and when you do kiss, she feels like she's floating. your hands are soft, when they cradle her jaw. moisturized with that cherry hand cream she gifted you. your hands are smaller too, they fit her head nicely. and most of all you're gentle. you pull apart, and sana nearly falls forward, body leaning into the kiss.

you stare at her in expectation, and panic surges through her body. you aren't fuji, you are the girl that's always played rougher than other girls. a girl that'll always give her 100% during class sprints, while all the other girls lightly jog. and the first thing she can think of is that she wishes you were a boy.

so she say's the exact words that tear your heart apart.

“wow yeah, that was good.” sana fiddles with her school skirt, “i wish you were a boy, you’d make a girl very happy kissing her like that.”

sana says that, but she watches as your eyes fall, hand dejected, and she can't help but feel like everything she knows about love is wrong. you don't say anything, so she leaves, closing the sga door behind her.

eyes welling up in tears as she thinks about how wrong this all is. if only you were a boy. she sinks onto the floor and cries into herself. when sana goes on the date, and fuji kisses her at her doorstep, she thinks of you. how he has to bend down to kiss her, and it all feels so wrong. later that night she starts a pros/cons list between you and fuji.

the only thing she has written for fuji is that "mother would like him." she tears the sheet of paper and tosses it into her waste basket.

--

when sana's eighteen and talking to her friends about boyfriends. all they have to say is that sex is amazing. they all talk about their first time and when they ask sana of what she thinks, she confesses that she's never done it.

"doesn't fuji ask you to?" one friend asks.

"no, he doesn't." the girl looks at sana weird but then shakes her head quickly.

"some guys are like that, they might not want to do it yet." she comments and then the conversation shifts on to talk about the latest school gossip.

sana's quiet for the rest of the week. she thinks about it, sex with fuji, and all she can do is groan. it's the natural progression of a relationship, but she feels like it's a weight in her stomach. that same weight she felt when he confessed to her.

so she does what she naturally did next when she was twelve; she finds you. she hasn't visited your house in years, it's still the same, even though there's a new door that she doesn't recognize anymore. and when she rings it, she finally sees you up close after so long.

she thinks about what she came here for in the first place. oh right, sex with fuji. so she comes up with the best excuse she can, that fuji wants to have sex. she knows its absurd, she's lying through her teeth, none of the reasons makes sense.

but the way you look right now, she can't think of anyone else she wants to have sex with. it stirs low in her stomach. her wanting you, so she lets a bit of truth in her lie.

"i need you to be my first, i want you to be. it can't be anyone else." sana is firm, but you look conflicted. eyes flitting all over the room. debating your morals.

she grabs your hands. eyes with want as she stares at you, and then you say yes. and suddenly the weight is lifted. sana feels like she's floating again.

when you pull her into your room, she feels like she's invincible. this room has always been so safe, and the way you stare into her with want, she thinks she wants to stay here forever in your arms.

the way you ask for permission, the way you constantly ask her if this is what she wants. asking if she's feeling good, gentle hands smelling like cherries that slip off her clothes. she thinks she'll stay naked like this forever if you asked her to.

her mind fills with you, shouting your name into the night where only you two exist in this world. she thinks this is right, this is what love is all about. this little bubble lasts only a night.

weeks later, she proposes sex to fuji, and he nods adamantly. like a horny teenager boy, which he is. but it all feels so off, even though she know's that he'll never cross boundaries. his hands feel too rough, he's too fast and he never asks sana how she feels.

sana feels the emptiest when she thinks back to how she thanked you when she left your room, when all she wanted to say was "i love you." and cherish you for the rest of her life.

--

when sana's nineteen on her birthday, all she can think of is how she hates fuji's arms around her shoulder. how you stare at the arm like it's the most offensive thing in the world. and sana agrees too, it is offensive, so she shoves it off, playing it off like she has an itchy shoulder.

she smiles at the way you relax back into your seat, like you staked your claim on her. it makes her feel wanted by you. even if she knows its wrong that you kiss her messily in the bar bathroom five minutes later, she feels like life is right.

--

when sana's twenty, bored out of her mind in her apartment with fuji. she thinks of you, she often does anyways. eyes wide when she comes up with the best plan. she purposely fights with fuji, calls him too suffocating, watching tears roll down his eyes, and she feels bad. she really does, she hates seeing him cry because of her, but she needs to get away.

so she calls you, bags packed and waiting by the door. her heart leaping in her chest when you knock on the door. grabbing her bags and asking her to stay in the car. giving stern words to fuji before finally leaving together. away from fuji.

sana stays with you for weeks, waking up and sleeping next to you. always attached to the hip, just like magnets. she lets herself believe this is her life, living with you, being with each other forever. she fits perfectly in your hold, as well as you in her. she always tells you she loves you, but only after you fallen asleep. she whispers it into your ears like they'll be heard. like a spell she put you under.

she doesn't think about fuji until he texts her much later, asking if it's okay to meet up and make up. so she goes back, feeling awful about letting her boyfriend believe she's mad at him. she avoids you for months to not feel the guilt. but it eats at her every day.

--

when sana's twenty-four and enjoying a stroll in the city with fuji. he proposes to her, with both their families around for the surprise. as she listens to him, one knee up, professing his love for her. she looks at her mother, her mother with happy tears in her eyes and she can't find herself to say no, so she says yes instead.

wedding planning is fun when she thinks about it as a wedding with you, so the best she can do is ask you to be her maid of honor. she presents to you the wedding invitation in your apartment. talking your ear off about how happy she is, watching you get more and more upset.

just waiting for you to tell her you want to run away with her, to elope together. move away and change names and live in europe together. she lists off all the things she can think of that a girl would like in a wedding, but you never ask her to run away. she knows its selfish, to want you to pull her out of her life, she just can't find the courage to pull herself out of it.

you show up to the wedding, in a gorgeous dress that she thinks that she would marry you in right now. you give a speech about how you, fuji, and sana all met. you talk with so much passion in your voice. she thinks that you might actually be happy for them. sana cries tears out of despair, maybe you really do think sana loves fuji. but she's in love with you.

when you make an analogy that fuji and sana are like magnets drawn to each other, the whole crowd awws, and sana feels her heart break. thats how she sees you and her, a perfect match. the rest of the wedding becomes unremarkable to her.

when you disappear, sana searches for you: eyes wide and frantic. calling up all your friends and family, but they all say the same thing, "she said she's going on vacation for a while, soul-searching?"

sana visits your house everyday, waiting for you to show up like hidden treasure. ever since she's found out she's been pregnant, she's been trying to find tell you about it. you should be the first to know, but you don't show up until a month later.

and when sana wakes up to the sight of you, it's like she's whole again. she walks away from that conversation sadder than ever, you don't drown in her eyes anymore. hands shuffling and changing positions often as she explains about her new incoming newborn.

--

when sana's twenty-five you walk out of her life. after the long labor and intense pain she went through, out came her little baby girl. wailing and crying at the introduction of the world, fuji's trying to wipe down sana's sweat and calm her down, but sana's drowsiness leads to her calling out your name instead, fuji think it's strange but doesn't comment on it. she sleeps for a long time.

when she wakes up to fuji excitedly telling sana that you are visiting. she tries her best to smooth out her hair and her heart rate jumps at the news. so she gets ready for you to visit her.

she thinks she'll name her daughter after you, the same girl she's so in love with. when she proposes the idea, you shut her down. she's never heard this tone before, so harsh and so mean. but she deserves it, the same way she knows she deserves all things bad to her when you look so dejected every time she leaves. she needs you by her side, she can't do motherhood alone with fuji, she doesn't think she can do life without you.

but then you say it, words that make her feel like her heart got pulled out of her chest. you pulled it out. you're moving away, a whole different country, a whole life without sana. and you want to, be away from sana. she can hear it in the way you say it, the way you stand up from the visitor's chair, having only sat there for a minute. the way you walk out of the room. you would have kept walking out had fuji not stopped you.

and sana's angry, after all this, you walk away. she can't tell who she's angry at anymore. angry at you, angry at fuji, angry at her mom, angry at the world. and she lands on it, she's angry at herself. with hot tears running down her face, you look back one more time, and you still leave. like you just double checked that it is exactly what you want to do, leave sana all alone.

--

when sana's thirty and thinking, "yeah, i am okay after all this time." she isn't. because her little girl has just run into you. and nearly hit her head, falling back. but with gentle and caring hands, you stand her back up. asking her daughter if she's alright. and as her daughter runs back to sana, sana can see you for the first time in five years.

your hair is longer, you look more tired, more lines on your face. but your eyes are still so wild, familiar eyes that she's found herself dreaming about for years. for five years to be exact, she dreams of you returning. so you walk up to sana and fuji, calm and collected about seeing them after five years.

but sana's panicking, like she's seen a ghost. you basically are a ghost in sana's life, she's been wondering lately if you really have been there in her life, if not for photos she really wonders if this is all a dream.

a dream that comes crashing down, you pick up a small girl, she's younger than sana's daughter. but she's got your wild eyes and cute nose. and sana thinks that she could die here. right now the rug could be pulled out from under her and she wouldn't utter a peep.

you have a daughter, and a wife. a gorgeous wife who smiles at you like how sana used to. and her eye line follows, you look your wife with the same passion of when you were both eighteen and far too stupid to understand anything in the world. you look at this woman like you used to look at sana.

"it's been a while." sana's voice cuts in. she needs to hear your voice after so long.

"yeah, i guess it has." you reply, finally looking at her after so long. sana gulps, willing the tears away. you sound the same, lighter than your last conversation, like you've made peace with it.

"honey, you're crying." fuji says wiping away sana's tear and you smile at that. like you've finally accepted fuji as her husband.

"oh i didn't notice." sana laughs, rapidly wiping her tears away. she's embarrassed, here she is thinking that you still love her, but you don't. not anymore.

sana tries her best to talk with fuji and momo. them talking about their line of work and interests. but sana can only stare at you.

eyes wide open.

--

a/n: i think im actually evil for writing this. like no joke. but anyways!! stay safe and stay healthy everyone!

She’s so cute 🥰😭

credit

Fanservice Queen Hwasa 😂😍