This One Night
This one night
Short Story:
I turned into someone else, someone that I hated and envied all at once. I stared at him, knowing he was my undoing, all at once afraid and in love with him. His years of grip on me was tight and strong, but my more logical side breathed for freedom from his chains.
He had told me that I was his, that I belonged to him, that every kiss, be it forced or done in silent surrender, was his branding of me. His touch was like fire now, pain so intense that I wanted more, just to have a feeling of no longer feeling empty. Sometimes, the slighted touch would make me whimper, wanting more, needing more, needing him.
Every night he is like a warrior, he being the sword, and I, his scabbard. No longer do I resist, it has been years since I’ve last resisted, but with stillness in need and thought, comes the realization of freedom, of it being so close in grasp that I can taste it. The more I succumb to him, the more logical side of me knows that what I’m starting to love; him, his grasp of me, my willingness to stay, my acceptance of everything, is wrong and deviant.
So tonight, here I stand, with my own sword in hand; a chefs knife, from under my pillow, I straddle him, moving against him like butter, he awakes, both his desire and his eyes open to me above him; him staring at my slightly mad eyes. I kiss him, putting all my sorrow, all my love, all my years wasted in his silent threats, and take my revenge.
When I remove myself from his final hold on me, his blood dripping down my chest, I look at him. With every beat of my own heart, I remember everything he’s done to me. I wipe his blood from me, and I remember wiping blood from my own wounds, from the tears shed. I dress myself and remember when he would cut away my clothes with knives, or sheer force of will. Finally, I walk out the door, the door that I was pushed though, time and time again, the door that I walked through willingly, holding hands with him.
The air tastes sweet; new. I am still left empty.
More Posts from Hog-mage and Others
My bucket list...
Thus far, I only have down a few. 1. Tell my husband I love him while we're on a mountain top. 2. Write a book 3. Witness a miracle. 4. Go on a ghost tour. 5. Have 2 children. 6. Ride an elephant. 7. Give back to my parents as much as they have given me. 8. Go skydiving. 9. Travel to New Zealand. 10. Build a church.
My soul at the moment
Our waiter said...
to me and my fiancé, who is blind in one eye, and partially blind in the other eye, as he saw me leading my man to the table. My man was holding onto my elbow, which FYI, is a good way to lead blind people because then they can feel every movement you make a couple seconds before they have to make the same movement, ie, steps.
Waiter: Oh, it's so nice of you to lead him. You're a good person. Me: This is my fiancé. Waiter: Oh, I thought you were helping him. Me: I am, because he can't see that well. (I look over at my man, and he has this smile on his face, as if to say, "this guy,") Waiter: I guess you only need one menu then. Me: Yep, one menu would be great, but he already knows what he wants, like usual. (My man is a creature of habit) Waiter: Where are you from? Me: I'm from Columbus, Ohio. Waiter: No, where are you really from? Me: Well, I was born in New York Waiter: No, no, where are you really from? Are you American? Me: (sigh) I'm Chinese American Waiter: So you're from China. Me: (I look over at my man, and he's trying so hard not to laugh) No, but my parents are. (Before our waiter can ask) Yes, I speak Chinese. Waiter: Good, good, enjoy your dinner. My man: Well, that was awkward Me: the most awful 3 minute conversation ever. ~~~~~
I know that some people don't know better, but from the way that the waiter was speaking was like he couldn't believe my man wasn't retarded and eating from a straw the way he looked at him with pity. Please, though my man may be legally blind, he is so much more aware than me. He protects me, he makes me walk away from traffic, so if a car comes barreling over, it'll hit him before it hits me. He helps teach a woman's self defense class at OSU.
He allows women to pepper spray, punch, and kick him, and doesn't mind when the women giggle as he writhes in pain. He'd rather he get hurt than them. He also carries a gun on him, wherever the law allows him. He teaches Conceal and Carry classes.
He's very skilled at shooting, and that's where he met many of his friends. They are extremely loyal and great towards him. They trust him, and vice versa. Yes, he is legally blind, but he also has sight. It's all very confusing, and it's a story for another time.
It just really bothers me when people take one look at him, and that look of fear or pity show up. I don't think I'll ever get used to it. Eventually I will, but not now.
Eating before you shop, going alone, making a list and sticking to it, taking advantage of student discounts, using mobile and printed coupons, getting in-season produce, and buying generic store brands can save you thousands of dollars a year on groceries.
Source
Very cool
More hearing people should learn some sign language so here are some actually useful signs for us hearing people to learn.
Ima gardenist
8 vegetables that you can regrow again and again.
Scallions
You can regrow scallions by leaving an inch attached to the roots and place them in a small glass with a little water in a well-lit room.
Garlic
When garlic begins to sprout, you can put them in a glass with a little water and grow garlic sprouts. The sprouts have a mild flavor than garlic and can be added to salads, pasta and other dishes.
Bok Choy
Bok choy can be regrown by placing the root end in water in a well-lit area. In 1-2 weeks , you can transplant it to a pot with soil and grow a full new head.
Carrots
Put carrot tops in a dish with a little water. Set the dish in a well-lit room or a window sill. You’ll have carrot tops to use in salads.
Basil
Put clippings from basil with 3 to 4-inch stems in a glass of water and place it in direct sunlight. When the roots are about 2 inches long, plant them in pots to and in time it will grow a full basil plant.
Celery
Cut off the base of the celery and place it in a saucer or shallow bowl of warm water in the sun. Leaves will begin to thicken and grow in the middle of the base, then transfer the celery to soil.
Romaine Lettuce
Put romaine lettuce stumps in a ½ inch of water. Re-water to keep water level at ½ inch. After a few days, roots and new leaves will appear and you can transplant it into soil.
Cilantro
The stems of cilantro will grown when placed in a glass of water. Once the roots are long enough, plant them in a pot in a well-lit room. You will have a full plant in a few months.
Traveling makes you open to new experiences.
Mark Twain loved to travel and once wrote, “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.” Source Source 2
This is just to make us brown eyed people feel better about ourselves.
You have brown eyes. Eye color is a result of how much melanin, a brown pigment, is in your iris. The more melanin in your eyes, the darker they appear because they absorb more light. If your eyes are blue, it just means there’s less melanin in your iris, which reflects shorter wavelengths of light on the blue end of the color spectrum. Therefore, no matter what color your eyes appear to be, they’re technically brown. Source
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