A Ball Of Rage

I'm proud of this fic so I'm posting about it

Yeah, Lost In Your Eyes fix-it fic be upon ye-

I just wanted Tarquin and Amanda to be happy. It had a lot more focus on other things, too, though, but I'm still quite proud of most of it so I'm positing it here. Okay thanks

this drawtectives wiki page is so funny out of context

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Posted: 22:53 UTC February 6, 2025

this video means everything to me

I miss the time when there were like 3 new sfth fanfics every day on ao3

Icebound Crew meets Technology

Aka Crow's headcanons about old people and social media

Skrimm - has an account on most platforms, but hardly posts on any of them. Likely has a private instagram or private Twitter he uses mostly to complain or make fun of his friends. Doesn't post at all on tiktok, but knows a few too many niche references to pretend he doesn't use it. Prefers shorts or reels but ultimately doesn't doomscroll as often as you'd think.

Queenie - has an account on most platforms like Skrimm, except she does post on a few of them. Mostly her tiktok and Instagram. She posts beekeeping videos and gardening tips, and people love her for her southern charm and raunchy sense of humor. Occasionally posts a hunting video with a really clickbait-y title for fun. Has a Tumblr!

Taishen - has a personal tiktok account he never posts on, and a Serenitea account thats almost entirely managed by Mei Li at this point. In turn, he runs his Facebook like the navy, ALWAYS updating it with new blends and all the fun he's having abroad.

Barnabos - only has Facebook and Twitter, only uses Facebook to keep track of his sailing buddies and Twitter to keep track of Skrimm. Only posts to reply to people, or to post ridiculously dangerous photos of sea monsters he's fighting

Jornir - barely knows how to use his camera app. If he has any social media, it's entirely Queenie's fault, and he never posts on it himself. If you look at his gallery it's full of pictures of birds, plants, the most gorgeous candid landscape shots you've ever seen, and blurry pictures of his friends. He has 4 photos of himself in there: one stealthily taken by Queenie, one properly taken by Taishen, and two accidental selfies that he hates. Has a Tumblr... Which is again Queenie's fault

(foot note: I don't use many of these, I'm basing them on the vibes of the sites back in like 2012 lol)

Skrimm gets mail

[VIDEO TRANSCRIPT:

Andy (pretending to read a letter): I look at Daisy and I say: (as Skrimm) Barnabos, what the fuck are you talking about?!

(Daisy gestures in equal confusion)

Skrimm: Doesn't make any sense! This doesn't make any fucking sense, there's blood all over this, I can't even read half of it! There's something about 'Ogre-Titles' and– and– and something about going to 'Ogre-Heaven' and–

Daisy (gesturing): Why is there blood?!

Skrimm: You think that's THEIR blood?!

Daisy (gesturing): I don't know!

Skrimm: Oh my god! Oh no!

Mace: There's a chipped golden scale rolled up in the– in the note.

(Skrimm picks up the scale, hands shaking and gasping for air in horror)

(Mace wheezes)

Skrimm: This is– This is Taishen's skin!

Daisy (gesturing): Who's Mr. Bones??

(laughter)

Skrimm: I DON'T KNOW!

END TRANSCRIPT.]

Hi does anyone want to hear about my SFTH Orchestra AU???

I've had it in the back of my mind for a little while but I was suddenly struck with intense inspiration, so here's what I have so far ideas-wise with my favorites/more elaborated ones on top and going down with less detail (I'll split them up by longform for your convenience):

(Kind of a long post so beware. It should also be noted I have only been in orchestra and I know depressingly little about the choir and band so. I apologize in advance - please feel free to add input about either of those if you want!)

Unrelenting Aubergine

I'm not fully sure about what Margaery's role would be, but for some reason she gives me cellist vibes. Maybe it's the way Sam sits while playing her, idk- regardless I feel like she'd be really good at it and would have lots of experience

She can play baroque-style as well because I said so. (I'll get to it later but she plays in the group with Father Andrews and Begruvia, too)

She could also be the conductor... I feel like she'd fit the role well, but I want to keep that slot open for now

Titch and James, I'm not exactly sure what they'd play, but with Margaery playing cello it makes me think they could, too and Margeary's magic in this AU is instead her teaching their father to play and then also teaching them how to play. With them playing the same instrument, it still allows them to have their rivalry as they try to live up to their father's legacy! Maybe he leaves them a really really nice instrument and they're kind of competing for it

James also gives me double bass vibes so maybe he's just doing it to try to make their father proud but in reality he kind of just wants to play double bass. Maybe he likes jazz, he kind of gives me those vibes

And Derek!!! I can't forget about him. He gives me viola vibes for some reason. Or maybe second violinist. He just wants to support Titch!!! But I think he could play piano as I could see that fitting for him. He’s Titch’s accompaniment! Basically his assistant, still

(He also gives me music theory nerd vibes for some reason, so maybe he composes from time to time)

Phantom of Hornchurch

Begruvia plays baroque-style viola because I said so. (This is what inspired the AU, actually-) He can also play modern viola but he just prefers baroque-style

Andrews, meanwhile, plays the organ! (it's so associated with churches I though it would be fitting) That and maybe harpsichord/piano, too, since if he can play organ he can probably play those two as well

(He also kind of gives me conductor vibes, but that's usually reserved for the first violinist in ensembles [or, well, leading, is. Not exactly 'conducting']. He'd probably be second to lead, though)

They respect each other's skills but they don't really get along - probably because they have completely different musical interpretations of the pieces and things

Since it's probably a small group, however, - and as I mentioned earlier - Margaery is there, too, and they both respect her skills. She finds it amusing to watch them bicker when it's not interfering with their practice time. She is not afraid to scold them about them wasting time

Cardboard Stegosaurus

Cliff plays cello (I swear I'm not that biased- they just all give me cello vibes). He's in his own ensemble before meeting Maire-Claire

Marie-Claire plays either violin or harp, but I'm leaning towards violin. It mimics the voice, it can have such a sweet but intense sound; she steals the show and yet she is still so collaborative and knows how to work with a group so well and Cliff absolutely loves it (but she would also be so majestic with a harp so. Either or!)

Pierre plays viola or cello, too, but I'm actually leaning towards viola. Him and Marie-Claire used to do lots of duets together and they played in an ensemble together

Marie-Claire and Cliff meet at some kind of ensemble gathering together where they play in a group together and they are both just enamored by each other's playing and it goes from there.

I imagine they don't pressure Chip into playing any instruments, but he still wants to try. I think Marie-Claire would try to teach him some violin and maybe in the future if anything happens with Cliff and Pierre (because I kind of love them) Chip can pick up viola, too, and use what he learned about violin to transition to viola. Maybe he plays both - either way Pierre is impressed by how much Chip knows and probably recognizes the skills that he learned from Marie-Claire right away

Toby's Secret Pocket

Toby would play something really elegant. I could see him playing harp and being really proud of it - but I could also see him playing piano. Maybe he knows both

He could also compose music, that might make a little more sense (he'd probably play a bit, too, though)

I don't have any ideas for his wife yet, but I imagine she'd have some kind of role in the orchestra, too

Clancy and Doohickey, meanwhile, should be like, a really loud section. Either somewhere in the like band section (brass and woodwinds or whatever) or like. First violins. Something where they can fight about their positions all the time. I don’t know enough about band instruments to assign them any, though and I don't know if they fit violin

They also don't have to be in the same section, they could also be two different instruments always fighting about which instrument is better or which has better solos/pieces and stuff, which can do cooler things, that kind of stuff. They could have some funny stuff being at the front of their sections and constantly glaring at each other as they try to be the better player but also have to communicate so they just glare (I think they'd secretly respect each other's playing, though)

Jimmy can be there, too! I think he could play something like trombone, maybe. One of the brass instruments, I feel like. Or maybe we can give him a triangle. I think he’d like triangle. Regardless, he's just having a great time in the background

From here on I don't have as elaborate of ideas, but I still want to include them

Inside the Mysterious Cube

Jeremiah and Bubba I feel like would play something like the fiddle (which, fun fact, I'm pretty sure is literally just violin and all of the difference comes from the style of play, actually) or something like saxophone. Which, I know would make them be kind of out of place in an orchestra, but idk, I think it suits them for some reason

Regardless they just enjoy themselves. I feel like they'd do a lot of duets and things rather than like full group performances

Clarissa's DIY Wedding

Amanda could sing. I think she’d have a great singing voice. That or like. Bassoon??? Idk why I just like. I just see it.

Clarissa, meanwhile I could also see singing. But maybe she picks up another instrument. I could see her playing flute

I think they would have met when they were young at some kind of music camp or at a music class at school and they just hit it off and became best friends from there. I think they would have done some great duets when they were younger

Mark would either play one of the brass instruments or like, keyboard. Some kind of electric instrument. Or maybe percussion. Admittedly I don't have many ideas for him (and I know too little about band to give him an instrument...) but he should be there, too

Priscilla's Final Petal

Priscilla! She still plays piano, she still pretty young (maybe somewhere around 18), still pressured into it by her parents (probably getting her into college, too), and she’s good at it, but… she doesn’t enjoy it.

Because of this she doesn’t have much musicality (or like. Putting emotion into the music, kind of). She plays the notes on the page as they’re written and doesn't really try much else. It doesn't have much emotion and it sometimes hinders the performance.

Everyone in the orchestra worries about her because she doesn’t seem to enjoy herself… (I like to think they try to take care of her or at least check in on her because she's still pretty young compared to most of them and she doesn't seem to be enjoying herself, but she's a good kid - I feel like Derek especially would check in on her, but people like Amanda, Jeremiah and Bubba, and Cliff do, too - oh, and Margaery! She acts like she doesn’t care but she does)

One time she gets really angry during a rehearsal and just stands up and yells at the conductor (whoever that ends up being, I still don't know) about how much she hates music and playing and how dumb it all is. Maybe she throws her music to the ground, of which some sections are just scribbled frantically out, and she just walks out and doesn’t return for the next few rehearsals

I think she would just need to find out how to enjoy music on her own or find something else to do - maybe a different instrument, maybe something else entirely, who knows

Wild, Wet, and Worrisome

Persephone!!! Maybe she sings but she just isn't great at it. Or maybe she is but she doesn't like it all that much. But the others still like her, even if they can be a bit rude at times (her sisters can be there, too). In my mind she desires to play another instrument and hasn't gotten a chance to try anything different (for some reason I want to say flute)

Maybe that’s how she meets Geoff. Maybe he plays something else - percussion? They’re both a bit awkward and they still hit it off - I don't have many other ideas about them, though, but I want them to be there

And that's it for now! I really want to include Tarquin and Amanda from Lost In Your Eyes (who would've guessed), but I don't have any ideas for them yet... I kind of want to include Beetroot Sam/Rupert and Justin, too, cause I like them, but I'm not sure. Maybe the Bandit Brothers, too. Jemima, David, and Mr. Steven from Milkman could also fit in... Caesar and Juliet could join in on the baroque-style playing group. Nigel, Andrew, and Uncle Sam could be fun to put in there, too. I should probably go to sleep now, but I might add onto this later with more ideas for them as I think of them.

Thank you for reading my ramblings! Feel free to add more ideas, I'm now very invested in this AU. Maybe I'll write something for it in the future but I'm not sure (Also, I need ideas for a conductor... I keep forgetting… Conductor Nigel, maybe…? I don’t know)

never out of options