Bruce, calmly: WHO PUT SLIME IN THE BATMOBLIE
Duke, immediately: it was Dick
Bruce: *staring at Dick with That Face*
Dick: NO IT WASN’T- BRUCE WAIT- I CAN EXPLAIN
Duke: *slips out of room unnoticed*
-
Duke, in front of a camera: it was me. i put the slime in the batmobile.
lol
the fact that it’s totally normal for Bruce to carry a Robin in his arms but if you see him carrying a fully-grown adult child like Nightwing or Red Hood etc that means they probably died/are about to die is KILLING me.
HAHHAHAAHAAAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAG
I bet the JL has a “how fucked are we” metric that’s literally just how many of Bruce’s kids are there.
Like if he pulls up to the alien invasion or whatever with just Robin, then everything’s fine. More than fine, actually, because Bruce feels comfortable enough to bring his eight year old along for the ride. This battle will take approximately fifteen minutes and they’ll all get shawarma after. Not fucked in the slightest.
But if Red Robin shows up too… hmm, okay, this is getting somewhat serious. Tim is one of Bruce’s most trusted partners; he’s the smart Robin, the tactician, the loyal one, and so if Batman brought him along then it means he’s at least a little bit worried about shit hitting the fan and wants one his advisors around. But the combined brain power of Bruce and Tim is pretty much unmatched (DC plot armor for the win), so everything will be fine, basically. Superman might take a hit, but everything’s going to be fine. Just keep calm and you’ll all make it home in time to Door Dash some Panda Express before it closes. So not that fucked.
It starts to get serious after that. When Signal and Spoiler roll up the scene, shit has definitely hit the fan. Batman’s worried enough to call in reinforcements and he’s probably doubting the League’s ability to listen/obey his orders, so he needs a backup plan in case things go really south. But with Signal’s abilities and Steph’s superpower of turning anything into a joke, chances are you’ll be okay. Maybe impaled or something, but okay. But still, fucked.
When Nightwing shows, the JL knows it’s starting to get dicey out on the field. See, Nightwing’s got his own team, his own issues—the fact that he set that all aside to help out his dad is cause for concern. On a scale from 1-10, they are at a 7. Above moderately fucked.
And… oh God. Black Bat? Most of the time the JL doesn’t even see her, but once she makes herself known and starts fighting alongside her siblings, they all start to silently freak out. Black Bat is a fucking machine and if she’s breaking a sweat trying to fight the Big Bad, things are definitely not going to go well. They start praying that Batman figures something out. They freak out. They are intrinsically fucked.
But God Forbid you catch sight of the Red Hood. The prodigal son is a legitimate killer, and if Batman’s letting him blow out brains then the JL knows he’s desperate. And a desperate Batman is not good. At all. They are definitely fucked.
OHHHHH MY GOSH
another gotham gazette exclusive 🤭
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"undoing this character's death would take away his sacrifice and character arc" girl I don't give a shit. I'm bringing him back through the power of ao3 fix-it fics and there's nothing you can do to stop me x
look at my crime lord dawg im going to jail 😭😭
quick olympic slaying it down redraw.. olympics giving good figure drawing ref fr 🙂↕️🙂↕️
(pt. 2)
Jason: I bet you can't eat 15 crayons!
Dick: I bet I can!
Bruce: *looks at them momentarily, checks that 911 is still on speed dial, and goes back to reading his book*
TEEEEEHGEEEEEEEEEW
the bite is a gift 🐺💉
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