Hi-imkaiya - Kaiya

LORD OF THE RINGS/HOBBIT + text posts

ily: i love you ilysm: i love you so much yapyabyltswtwoyntsiytayadkys: you’re a painter. you're a baker. you like to sleep with the windows open. you never take sugar in your tea. and you always double-knot your shoelaces.

check out my finnick x oc fic on ao3. its silver linings by kaiyapapaya

this family makes me want to murder people

obsessed with Jean Paul Gaultier. Item: Jean Paul Gaultier Vintage X- Ray Skeleton Maxi Dress. Top version linked here, being sold on Etsy–> https://www.etsy.com/ie/listing/739668544/jean-paul-gaultier-x-ray-skeleton-knit

Why did Ymir choose Mikasa?

"Okay, maybe im just dumb and didnt get something but couldn't ymir see the end result of EM's suffering via paths, so she already knew the lesson mikasa learnt anyway?? bc it means that this all was just completely unnecessary and eren could live... is it really a plot hole or did i not understand something?"

I've received a question and would like to answer it in a separate post rather than an ask. I have been keeping this draft since ch.137, but never really could post it, because I didn't think that my points will be concrete enough. But thanks to ch.138 and 139, I finally can touch this topic again!

So...starting with Ymir. We all know that she was a slave in king Fritz’s tribe. Someday she freed pigs and the king “freed” her, but hunters ended up chasing her in the forest. She was hurt and somehow fell into a pound inside of the tree then our infamous hallucigenia attached to her spine, and she became the first titan shifter. After king discovered her power, he used her to enlarger his tribe and eventually, the tribe became an empire. King Fritz let her have his kids and continued to exploit her.

At the very end she died in pain, because she wanted to protect the king. This moment for some people was confusing, but we all supposed that it was out of plain obedience. Nothing more and nothing less.

Before, in ch.137 Zeke said that Ymir has been obeying Karl Fritz for 2000 years, but what was the reason? Zeke said that Ymir wanted to feel connected, because she was attached to the world she left behind. But...Zeke couldn't understand her. He spent a lot of time in paths trying to find the reason why she is so obedient, but still couldn't find the exact reason besides the attachment. He also mentioned that Eren could understand her, while he didn't.

As Eren said in ch.139 during his talk with Armin...Ymir was in "love" with the king. He'd burned her hometown, killed her parents, cut off her tongue, let her wander in the forest, exploited her powers, let her breed children and at the end let her daughters eat their mother's flesh...But she still "loved" him and that's why paths were created. Ymir didn't want to die nor live. She wanted to feel and see love, and be a part of it, but she couldn't get it when she was alive.

Then...how did Ymir still love him? It was the Stockholm syndrome. She simply felt attached to Karl Fritz, because he gave her a relatively better life. Yes, the king still saw her as a slave. She wasn't his wife or at least a person he cared about. He didn't see her as someone equal to him. She was just a weapon, breeding machine and slave, but definitely not his love.

Ymir knew that her "love" was wrong, but she couldn't escape it, because she trapped herself in the endless cycle of hatred and agony that didn't even start because of her, but because of the person she "loved". Eventually, her titan powers were passed down from generation to generation and she got nothing to do, but to obey the king's blood. She wanted to escape. She wanted someone to free her.

So...Why did he choose Mikasa for that role? As many people pointed out, Mikasa and Ymir have some similarities. Both had powers, they stayed loyal and were selfless, but...Mikasa had what Ymir didn't. Free will, freedom and love.

Mikasa stayed loyal to Eren not because she obeyed him and he forced her to do so, but simply because she loved him and it was her choice. Ymir chose Mikasa, because she is the freest person. Mikasa is an Ackerman, the bloodline that rebelled against king's ideology, and the descendant of Hizuru's shogun's clan, which had nothing to do with Ymir herself. Everything Mikasa did was purely out of her conscience and the right to choose. In this case, Eren was the one who has served as the pathway for Mikasa to free Ymir.

Ymir could see Eren and Mikasa, and I think she and Eren himself were the ones who told child Eren where Mikasa is back when she got kidnapped. Because, otherwise, Ymir wouldn't be freed and the cycle would continue to exist. But she couldn't fully free herself, because hallucigenia still existed and as we saw in ch.138, it has had mind on its own and probably needed a "host" to exist, which was Ymir and her subjects. It desperately wanted to live, but of course, since Ymir was its main "host" and got freed, it also stopped to exist.

Aside from this, Ymir wanted to witness the most unconditional love that could exist. Both Eren and Mikasa did a very noble act of sacrificing their love for the sake of change and I think this is what Ymir wanted to see.

Yes, from Ymir's side, it was very selfish and to be honest, I was also a bit disappointed to see her vanishing like this, but I guess, that was the fault from my side, because Ymir has never actively participated in the whole process of rumbling. All what she did was observing and guiding Armin and Mikasa to her. After all...everything she wanted was a selfish wish to be free and see love. It was never about repaying the debt or helping someone. Probably...that's why she needed these three selfless people to free her.

"So I pray to hands

And I pray to needs

And I pray to blades of grass

To find forgiveness in the weeds

But as for health

I just never did believe

And so I never prayed myself

Except to those that prayed for me"

I love all of them 🤩

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forest faerie dress, literally.