True On All Accounts, Except That I Personally Think It’s Worse Brie Lol

something that i will always remember of technoblade is how he was kind just for the sake of it.

i will remember him claiming the monopoly sound was too loud for him to hear wilbur when he spoke of techno staying up all night to comfort him when he was sick. i will remember him taking the time to add watermarks for his artists when they themselves forgot. i will remember niki and sophie saying how he always somehow made sure they never felt excluded or neglected and how he would hate it, it would embarrass him when they spoke of his kindness publicly. i will remember him personally dming ponk to thank them for sending a 45-minute video of someone feeding hotdogs to raccoons in chat and timestamping his favorite part. i will remember his love for the people who created for him, how he would keep his mentions on for everyone before his fanart tag was formed and would just scroll and scroll to make sure not to miss any art someone made for him. i will remember half his friends and peers having some kind of a story of him reaching out to them during tough days, reassuring them, believing in them, making them feel loved.

i will remember him in every act of kindness i receive and i will remember him during times in my life when i will need to remind myself to be kind despite it all.

Heartlands Rose Apple and Blackberry Pie

“As the story goes, a hungry halfling returned from her hillside stroll with a heavy basket of crisp rose apples and plump blackberries. In typical indecisive halfling fashion, she couldn’t decide which to fill her pie with… so she chose both, and thus this legendary dessert was born.” - Heroes’ Feast, p. 139

As mentioned in a previous post, pie, the better version of cake, can take on many forms. With fall having wrapped up and given way to winter, it’s time to start scheduling Christmas parties and spending time with each other during the Holidays. So, why not dazzle partygoers by bringing in a slice (pun intended) of autumn with this apple and blackberry pie from Heroes’ Feast!

Although the original recipe is a little rough in construction, after some discussion for suggested changes, it holds together amazingly and makes sure that each bite, from the sweetness of the apples to the tartness of the blackberries, is worth the effort. This pie is also super great because it’s not overly sugary like most you’ll find at the store; using just enough while allowing the fruitiness of the filling to shine!

In this post, I’ll be breaking down the steps that were taken, for filling and crust, that help ensure that you end up with a stable pie instead of pie soup. In a rush? No worries, all changes are also summarized in the results section.

See below for my notes on the results and for some helpful tips and tricks when making this yourself! Get Heroes’ Feast here: https://dnd.wizards.com/heroes-feast

Prep: 15 mins*               Cook: 5 hours**               Overall: 5 hours 15 mins

* Can take longer if making your own crust.

** Can vary based on your experience making pie, this is the high-end estimate with plenty of leeway time. To save time on the day of, make the apples and pie crust a day ahead and store them in the fridge. If not possible, try to make the pie crust a day ahead and cook the apples while the crust chills in the fridge in the pie plate (see recipe steps).

Ingredients*:

⅔ cup + 1 tbsp. (155 g) sugar

½ tsp. (3 g) cinnamon

3 tbsp. + 2 tsp. (23 g + 5 g) cornstarch**

kosher salt

3 ½ pounds (1,575 g) [about 6] baking apples, peeled, quartered, cored, and cut lengthwise into ¼-inch slices***

Pastry for 2 double-crust pies

12 ounces (340 g) blackberries, rinsed

1 tbsp. (5 ml) fresh lemon juice

1 ½ tbsp. (21 g) unsalted butter, cut into pieces

1 egg

Lightly sweetened whipped cream for serving (optional)

* Makes one 9-inch deep-dish pie. Here’s the pie dish I use.

** Because there’s a lot of liquid in the filling, I took A Finnicky Guide’s suggestion and added a little more cornstarch. I split the extra 2 tsps. (5 g) between the apples and blackberries.

*** For pies, you need to be careful with the apples you select. When choosing your apples, especially for a liquidy pie, it’s important to consider the amount of pectin (a natural “glue”) present in the apple. For the reasons listed in the linked article, I chose Granny Smith apples instead of those listed in Heroes’ Feast.

The first change to make is with how the apple filling is prepared. Cooking the apples on the stove, instead of in the microwave, will allow the juices released from the apples to have a caramel-like consistency instead of staying super watery. I adapted the method from King Arthur.

First, in a large pot, whisk together 1⁄3 cup of the sugar, the cinnamon, 1 tbsp. + 1 tsp. cornstarch, and ¼ tsp. salt. Add the apples and gently mix to combine.

Turn the heat to medium-low and allow the apples to warm up, about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Then, allow them to cook for an additional 10 minutes, stirring occasionally (top-left picture).

You’ll know they’re done when you can bend the slices without them breaking (top-right).

TIP: To get the apples all to a uniform size, I recommend using an apple corer. Here’s the one I use.

The second change to construction is with the pie crust. In order to prevent the liquid in the pie from infusing with the uncooked dough and turning it mushy, we’re going to firm up the bottom crust by blind-baking (partially cooking) it before adding the filling. To blind-bake, I’ve condensed the method from Sally’s Baking Addiction.

On a floured work surface, roll out the pie dough into a 12-inch (~30 cm) circle. Transfer it to a deep-dish pie plate and fit it in gently by lifting the edges of the dough as you gently press it into the bottom and sides of the pie dish. Leave ~1-inch overhang around the rim and trim the extra (picture 1) ). Do not dock (prick holes in) the bottom crust yet. Set it in the fridge to chill for 30 mins. Preheat the oven to 375℉ (190℃).

Next, crinkle up a piece of parchment paper large enough to cover the pie dough. Place it in the baking dish and weigh it down using ceramic pie beads, dried lentils, or dried beans. I used pinto beans. This will allow the crust to cook without bubbling at the bottom or shrinking too much away from the edges (picture 2) ).

Place the pie plate onto a baking sheet and put it in the preheated oven to cook for 15-16 minutes. Take it out and carefully remove the parchment paper with the weights. Dock the bottom crust with a fork and return it to the preheated oven, without the weights, until the crust begins to turn a golden brown, another 7-8 minutes. Remove again from oven and set aside (picture 3) ). Preheat the oven again - this time to 425℉ (218℃).

TIP: You can reuse your blind-baked beans/lentils for future pies! So feel free to store them in their own labeled container for use at another time.

While the bottom crust chills, whisk together ⅓ cup of the sugar, the remaining cornstarch, and a pinch of salt in a medium-sized bowl.

Add the blackberries and gently toss to coat. Then, add the lemon juice and gently fold until the sugar mixture is moistened and syrupy.

Since the blackberries will release their juice as they break down, to reduce the liquid content, remove 1 tbsp. of the syrup and discard.

For attaching the top crust to the partially-baked bottom crust, I followed Food52’s method.

To assemble the pie, start by spreading the blackberry mixture evenly over the bottom crust and scatter the butter pieces overtop (picture 1) ).

Strain the apples through a colander, catching the liquid in a bowl, and spoon them on top of the blackberries. Pour half of the reserved apple syrup over the apples (picture 2) - I added the apple syrup, I just took the picture too soon rip)

On a floured work surface, roll out dough into a 12-inch (~30 cm) circle and place it over the apple mixture. To seal the edges, start by folding the top crust under the overhanging bottom crust as much as possible without breaking the bottom crust. Then, use a fork to crimp the top and bottom layers together (picture 3) ).

Beat the egg with 1 tbsp. water and brush it over the top of the pie crust - including the edges. Sprinkle the remaining 1 tbsp. sugar evenly over the top. Place the pie into the oven preheated to 425℉ (218℃) (picture 4) ).

Bake the pie at 425℉ (218℃) until the top is light golden brown, about 25 minutes. Then adjust the heat to 375℉ (190℃), rotate the baking sheet 180 degrees, and continue baking until the crust is golden brown 25 to 30 minutes.

NOTE: I found my crust turned golden brown after 25 mins at 425℉ (218℃). I still adjusted the heat to 375℉ (190℃) and let it cook for the remaining time. However, I kept an eye on it to make sure it didn’t burn (it didn’t).

Remove pie from oven and baking sheet and allow to cool to room temperature on a wire rack, about 2 hours.

From the pictures above, you can see how changing up the steps in the construction helped with the structural integrity of the pie:

Using extra cornstarch allowed both fillings to thicken more while cooking, helping to create a distinct layer for the blackberry mixture (top-right);

Using Granny Smith apples allowed for the extra pectin in the apples to thicken the liquid on the stove and keep additional juices trapped inside the slices as they baked in the oven (also keeping the apples from drying out in the oven);

Cooking the apples on the stove gave the apple syrup a more caramel-consistency instead of staying watery;

Not only did blind-baking the bottom crust keep the vast majority of the liquid inside the pie as it cooked (top-left), but having an extra-crispy bottom crust allowed any pie kept as leftovers to have a distinct bottom crust instead of it becoming soggy;

Removing a little bit of the syrup from the blackberry mixture allowed the blackberry syrup to become less soupy and thicken into its own distinct layer (top-right).

Tl;dr: to recap what improved the construction of the pie:

Use a little extra cornstarch. Not much, just an extra tsp. (3 g) per filling will do.

Choose the right apples for the job. You want to make sure the ones you choose have enough pectin to keep in most of their juices. Solution: use Granny Smith.

Cook the apples on the stovetop. Using the stovetop allows for the juices released from the apples to have a caramel consistency instead of staying watery.

Blind bake the bottom crust. To keep the liquids from infusing with the bottom crust, partially bake the bottom crust using the listed method.

Remove 1 tbsp. of liquid from the blackberries. They have plenty of liquids to start and will produce more when they start to break down.

Overall, I would give this pie a 5/5 after the modifications to construction. The sweetness from the apples and the tartness from the blackberries really work to bring this together in the best way.

As mentioned in the intro, I really appreciate the fact that there is very little sugar added. Not only does it let the filling stand out on it’s own, but it also makes the pie enjoyable to those who don’t have as much of a sweet tooth.

Bruschetta Grilled Cheese

You're welcome.

Welcome to the only recipe for grilled cheese ever. 

Don’t like tomatoes? Doesn’t matter. Get lost in the sauce of basil, garlic, balsamic vinegar, and cheese.

I don’t remember who thought of this first, me or my housemate, so I'm giving us shared credit for this invention. All I know is that we were hungry, had bruschetta mix left over from the night before, and are both apparently geniuses.

Now, enough talking, onto the recipe.

Prep time: 15 mins         Cook time: 15 mins*         Overall: 30 mins

* Can be longer based on if you want to marinate the mix or how many you want to make.

Ingredients:

1 dry pint (312 g) grape or cherry tomatoes, diced

4-5 fresh basil leaves, chopped

4-5 large cloves garlic, finely chopped

4 tbsp. (60 ml) balsamic vinegar*

Salt and pepper, to taste

Sourdough bread, sliced into sandwich slices**

Butter

Mozzarella or Swiss cheese slices

* Can vary based on how much dipping sauce you need.

** I used Vienna style sourdough bread for aesthetics but any style works for this as long as it's the thickness of a sandwich slice.

Add the diced tomato, basil, and garlic to a medium-sized mixing bowl (top-left).

Then, add the balsamic vinegar and salt and pepper to taste (top-right). 

NOTE: You’ll want to add more balsamic vinegar depending on how many sandwiches you’re making so that everyone has dipping sauce!

Mix everything together until all of the tomatoes have been coated in balsamic vinegar.

NOTE: You can totally eat this mix right away, but leaving it to marinate overnight gives extra depth to the flavour!

Heat a large, non-stick pan over medium heat. While it heats, butter two slices of the sourdough bread on one side.

Place one of the sourdough slices butter-side down in the pan once you can start to feel the heat radiating from the pan. Immediately add the cheese slices (top-left).

Add some of the bruschetta mixture on top of the cheese once you hear the butter start to sizzle (top-right). Make sure to leave as much liquid in the brushetta bowl as possible so it doesn’t make the bread too soggy!

NOTE: Definitely add the cheese before the mix. I’ve tried making this and adding the mix before the cheese and it just makes the bread soggy while you’re waiting for it to toast in the pan.

Add the top slice of bread butter-side out once you’ve added the bruschetta mix (top-left) and carefully flip the sandwich.

The structural integrity of these bad boys isn’t so great at this stage, so you’ll want to hold onto the top slice of bread until the last moment while you flip.

Repeat the flipping process until both sides are a nice golden brown (top-right).

TIP: To add some extra flavour to the bread, lightly drizzle both slices with some of the liquid from the bruschetta mix as they toast. Only do this once they’ve toasted for a bit on each side though or it’ll just make the bread soggy!

Now you’re ready to enjoy the best grilled cheese ever! Don’t forget the sauce!

As a side, I’ve found that carrots are a nice veggie snack to go with these since their sweetness compliments the sweetness from the tomatoes.

NOTE: I’ve found the bruschetta mix can be kept up to three days in a tupperware in the fridge before the flavour becomes just a little too overpowering.

thinking about those toy pizzas where the slices velcro together

I don’t think I can physically be sad over Techno when I know he’s invading Wilbur’s dreams just to call him a loser

Elven Marruth

“Sometimes reductively referred to as “root pies” by dwarves and humans, marruth are incredibly hearty closed-faced canapés that are filled with spiced and herbed mashes of vegetables (carrots, potatoes, and carrots) and then lightly baked in a flaky, buttery crust.” - Heroes’ Feast, p. 64

Eating seasonal foods is a popular option because it helps local growers, tastes fresher, and makes you feel more connected to the season. Now, this is all well and good if you live in a climate with longer or all-year growing seasons; but what can you expect to be growing when you’re knee-deep in snow?

Believe it or not, there are winter seasonal vegetables! (rip fruit, you’ll be missed until spring)

Elven Marruth from Heroes’ Feast is a great use of hardy winter-season produce. The small pastries make for a great snack alongside a warm bowl of soup or, thanks to their nutritious filling, a great meal on their own!

These small pastries also hold a special place in my heart for being the first recipe I ever made from Heroes’ Feast (alongside Underdark Lotus with Fire Lichen Spread on p. 93)!

Check out below for my process in creating the house and for some helpful tips and tricks when making this yourself! Get Heroes’ Feast here: https://dnd.wizards.com/heroes-feast

Prep: 15 mins + pie crust, if making                 Cook: 2h 30 mins

Total: 2h 45 mins

Ingredients:

1 small yellow onion, finely chopped*

1 small Yukon gold potato, peeled and cut into ½-inch pieces

2 carrots, peeled and finely chopped*

2 cups (300 g) packed finely chopped green cabbage*

3 tbsp. (44 ml) extra-virgin olive oil

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

2 tsp. (3 g) finely chopped fresh thyme, plus 1 ½ tbsp. (4 g) picked whole thyme leaves**

¾ tsp. (4 ml) soy sauce

¼ cup (4 g) chopped fresh dill

All-purpose flour for dusting

Pastry for 2 double-crust pies, thawed if frozen

1 egg

* To cut down on prep time, roughly chop the onion, carrot, and cabbage and then process them together in a food processor. You’ll need about 15 pulses get them all finely chopped.

** To pick the whole thyme leaves, pinch a stem of thyme and run your fingers down the opposite way the leaves are pointing.

First, preheat the oven to 375℉ (190℃) with the racks in the upper-middle and lower-middle of the oven. Line two large rimmed baking sheets with parchment paper or nonstick (silicone) liners.

Then, in a bowl, combine the onion, potato, carrots, cabbage, and olive oil and toss to coat the vegetables with the oil (top-left). Add ½ tsp. salt and a few grinds of pepper and toss to distribute (top-right).

Transfer the mixture to one of the prepared baking sheets, spreading it into a thin, even layer (set the bowl aside) (top-left).

Roast the vegetables on either rack until tender, 25 to 30 minutes, stirring and turning the vegetables two or three times (top-right).

NOTE: I misread the instructions so I spread the mixture over both sheets.

Remove the baking sheet from the oven, add the chopped thyme, and stir to incorporate it. Spread out the mixture and allow to cool to room temperature for about 20 minutes.

Leave the oven on for more baking and return the cooled veggies to the now-empty bowl. Stir in the soy sauce, dill, ¾ tsp. salt, and pepper to taste. Adjust the seasoning as necessary, and set aside until needed.

If making the filling ahead of time, turn off the oven, transfer the cooled mixture to a tupperware, and put it in the fridge until needed.

Replace the parchment paper on the baking sheet or wash the non-stick liner and return it to the baking sheet. Have a small bowl of water handy.

Dust a large piece of parchment paper or a clean work surface with flour. Working with one ball of homemade pastry at a time, or one sheet of store-bought pastry, roll the dough into a 12-inch (30 cm) circle (top-left).

Sprinkle half of the whole thyme leaves evenly over the pastry, cover with a piece of parchment paper, and roll lightly to help the thyme stick (top-right).

Flip the pastry over so the thyme leaves are on the bottom, and set aside. Repeat with the remaining pastry and remaining whole thyme leaves.

With a 4-inch (10 cm) round biscuit or cookie cutter, cut at least six circles out of each pastry round.

TIP: To keep the pastry as chilled as possible for maximum ~flakiness~ while baking, work with and cut out circles from one ball of pastry at a time. Place each cut circle on a plate covered with cling film and put in the fridge until needed.

Keep the scraps from the first dough ball in the fridge and combine with the scraps from the second dough ball. Roll out the combined scraps for extra circles.

NOTE: My pie crust recipe gives quite a bit of dough, so you’ll end up cutting out way more than the six asked for by Heroes’ Feast.

Working with as many of the pastry circles as you feel comfortable with to keep the dough chilled, place 1 ½ tbsp. (one slightly rounded tbsp.) of the vegetable mixture in the center of each round, leaving a ½-inch border around the edge.

Working with one piece of pastry at a time, moisten the edge of the pastry circle and fold over the pastry over the filling to make a half-moon shape. Press out any trapped air, press the edges firmly to seal, and crimp the edges using a fork to secure the seal.

Transfer the crimped pastries to a separate plate and keep in the fridge until ready to cook.

Repeat with the remaining pastry rounds and filling.

Once all of the pastries are ready, transfer them onto the prepared baking sheets.

In a small bowl, beat the egg with 1 tbsp. water and brush the tops and sides of each marruth with the mixture (top-left).

Bake until the marruths are light golden brown and crisp, about 25 minutes, rotating the sheets 180 degrees and switching racks halfway through baking (top-right).

Set the baking sheets on wire racks, cool the pastries for about 5 minutes, and serve hot.

NOTE: Despite the recipe only being supposed to make 12, I’ve always gotten somewhere between 18-22 marruths from the filling.

NOTE: You’ll notice the BIG marruth I’ve made on the tray. I was trying to see if I could make a larger version of this recipe since I’d made smaller ones of the Hand Pies (p. 21). However, the consensus was that the smaller ones were better. Expect 4-5 more marruths than shown if not making the big one.

Overall, I would give this recipe a 5/5. I’m usually not a huge fan of vegetable-based dishes, but these veggie turnovers are awesome. I’ve made them for weekend lunches and many a movie night and they’re always a massive hit!

The vegetables really work together with the soy sauce and herbs to create a great flavour with a texture reminiscent of a spring roll. If you’re looking for a more savoury turnover, this one’s for you.

MAKE SURE TO EAT THEM WARM though. It might just be me, but they don’t really work if they’re any colder than room temperature.

I would also recommend making the filling and pie crust on one day and assembling them the next day. It makes the cooking time a lot less daunting and not eat up your free time :)

P.S. You can make these for someone who doesn’t like onion by leaving it out. I’ve made them like this before and they said they were great!

Updated with the ingredients list and some other helpful tips!

Also contains a link to my new review: Otik’s Skillet-Fried Spiced Potatoes!

Yawning Portal Buttermilk Biscuits

While the inn’s undisputed main attraction is the cavernous portal that descends straight into deadly Undermountain dungeon, these famed biscuits are a close second. - Heroes’ Feast, p. 31

I’ve always wanted to make biscuits, but was never motivated enough on a Sunday morning to take the time to prep and clean my bread board to knead dough. So, it was a wonderful surprise  when I saw this no-knead recipe for biscuits in Heroes’ Feast!

Crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside, these biscuits are so melt-in-your-mouth delicious that you’ll throw away any other recipe you have.  Whether eaten warm, at room temperature, or a day or two later, they are an amazing on-the-go breakfast snack that pairs well with any jam.

To really spice up your morning, try them with a side of Otik’s Skillet-Fried Spiced Potatoes!

See below for my notes on the results and for some helpful tips and tricks when making these yourself! Get Heroes’ Feast here: https://dnd.wizards.com/heroes-feast

Keep reading

why do they always show cranberries in thos big pits n its implied its wet and possibly swimmable. do cranberries really grow like that. wh

Tasty! I hope they turned out well :D

Earl Grey Cookies

“[…] a combination of shortbread and jam thumbprint cookies, made all the more interesting by the addition of tea - something different for a cookie exchange, or package them with a fancy cup and extra tea as a gift.” - ~mystery book~, p. 227

Sugar cookies are a staple of the holiday season. Whether decorated with frosting, cut into festive shapes, or sprinkled with powdered sugar, they are the go-to cookie for gifting!

When I first decided to try this version of sugar cookie, I wasn’t sure what to expect. But, I figured I’d give them a shot since it uses my favourite tea. In the end? Best. Decision. EVER! I’ve made them for myself and friends in past holiday seasons and I constantly get asked for the recipe and/or when I’ll be making more (the answer is always December, guys).

Like the Soul Cakes marking the overlap of four different holidays at the end of October, these cookies offer a twist on the traditional treats served this time of year.

Consider baking them with the Cranberry Banana Muffins to really spice up the holiday season!

(This recipe is an adaptation from a cookbook my grandmother has tucked away. However, I don’t have the title of the book and I can’t find her copy anymore so it’s of ~mystery origin~.)

Keep reading

So, what is the OGL and why are DnD creators thoroughly screwed?

Tumblr has not been doing a great job at talking about this, but:

With OneDnD, Wizards of the Coast has decided to update the Open Game License (OGL). Said license is what allowed people to create homebrew DnD content and sell it, and even larger companies to use certain sorts of content. Pathfinder, for example, is built on said OGL. This also allows streamers and artists to exist and benefit from said content.

With OneDnD (sometimes called “dnd 6e”), WOTC wants to create a much more restrictive OGL, which will, amongst other things:

Make WOTC take a cut for any DnD-related work (according to Kickstarter, a whole 25% of the benefits)

Let WOTC cancel any project related to DnD up to their discretion

Let WOTC take ANY content made based on their system, and re-sell it without crediting you, or giving you a single cent

And most importantly, revoke the old OGL, which will harm any company or game system that used it as a base, such as Pathfinder. And it means they GET ownership over any homebrew content you may have done for 5e in the past!

It’s important to note that OGLs are supposedly irrevocable. They were planning to use it for OneDnD initially, but they want to apply it retroactively to 5e, somehow. Which is illegal, but lawyers have mentioned there’s a chance they may get away with it given the wording.

This means that anything you make based on DnD (A homebrew item? A character drawing? Even music, according to them?), can get taken and used as they deem appropiate.

These news come from a leak of the OGL, which have been confirmed by multiple reputable sources (including Kickstarter, which has confirmed that WOTC already talked with them about this), and was planned to be released next week.

So, what can we do?

Speak against it. Share the word. Reblog this post. Let people know. Tumblr hasn’t been talking much about this matter, but it’s VERY important to let people know about what is WOTC bringing. 

Boycott them. Do not buy their products. Do not buy games with their IP. Do not watch their movie. CANCEL your DnD Beyond subscription. (Btw, they ARE planning to release more subscription services too!). They do not care about the community, but they care about the money. Make sure to speak through it. 

And maybe consider other TTRPG systems for the time being, Pathfinder’s Paizo has been much nicer to the community, their workers are unionized and are far more healthy overall