Potato Leek Soup (w/ Smoked Turkey)

Stuffed Egg-Battered Toast

“There’s nothing more comforting to a comfort-obsessed halfling than the warm intermingling scents of vanilla, maple, and walnuts filling their home.” - Heroes’ Feast, p. 120

French toast is a staple of Sunday Brunches everywhere, and it’s easy to see why. This fried breakfast bread is easily customized with whatever you want. Syrup? Eggs? Fruit? It’s all fair game to this tasty toast!

Taking a swing at its own version, Heroes’ Feast’s Stuffed Egg-Battered Toast looks to change it up by putting its toppings inside, rather than on top.

With each slice stuffed with mascarpone, walnuts, and a truly questionable amount of vanilla extract, your kitchen and taste buds are surely going to be treated to that homely vanilla smell that halflings crave so much.

Check out below for my notes on the results and for tips and tricks when making this yourself! Get Heroes’ Feast here: https://dnd.wizards.com/heroes-feast

Prep: 5 mins    Cook: 25 mins    Total: 30 mins

Ingredients:

4 ounces (½ cup, 120 g) mascarpone, at room temperature

¼ cup (25 g) walnuts, finely chopped

2 tsp. (10 ml) pure vanilla extract*

4 (1-inch-thick) slices of brioche or challah

2 eggs

½ cup (120 ml) whole milk

¼ tsp. (2 g) kosher salt

2 tbsp. (30 g) unsalted butter

½ cup (120 ml) maple syrup

Confectioners’ sugar for dusting**

* That uh… sure is an amount of vanilla for a ½ cup of mascarpone.

** I used chopped strawberries instead.

In a small bowl, stir together the mascarpone, walnuts and vanilla. (I forgot to take a picture of this each time I made it. L.)

Use a thin knife to cut a 2-inch-long slit through the side of each slice of brioche, creating a pocket.

Gently open the pocket and spoon 1 tbsp. of the mascarpone mixture into each slice.

TIP: As mentioned in the “cook’s notes” section, the bread is very delicate and tears easily- so take extra caution when opening and stuffing the pockets.

Alternatively, the notes mention that you could use ½-inch slices and spread the mixture between them like a sandwich. However, I worry about its structural integrity while dipping it in the egg mixture or flipping it in the frying pan.

But, since stuffing each slice is a pain, it might be worth going with the sandwich method.

NOTE: Only stuff the slices if they’re cut 1-inch-thick. ½-inch and even ¾-inch slices are way too thin and will tear.

In a pie dish or shallow bowl, whisk together the eggs, milk, and salt.

BEFORE DIPPING the slices, melt 1 tbsp. butter in a large skillet over medium heat.

Dip two stuffed slices into the egg mixture, turning to soak both sides and letting any excess batter drip back into the bowl.

TIP: You only need to let each side soak for a few seconds. Any longer than 5 makes the bread mushy.

Place the sides in a skillet and cook for 2-3 minutes per side, until golden brown. Use a spatula to transfer the toasts to a warm plate.

Repeat to cook the remaining two stuffed slices.

Meanwhile, warm the maple syrup in a small saucepan over low heat for a few minutes.

TIP: The “cook’s notes” section mentions that warmed marmalade can be used to replace the maple syrup.

NOTE: I misread the instructions for this step and cooked all four slices at once. To fix the uneven browning, I flipped the lighter parts to the middle of the pan for about 20 seconds after cooking each side.

NOTE: To save on dishes, I chose to not warm my syrup.

Top the toast with strawberries (and/or confectioners’ sugar), drizzle with the maple syrup, and serve.

Overall, this recipe has one thing really working against it: the vanilla extract.

Personally, I found the filling to be inedible with 2 tsp. of vanilla extract in the mascarpone mixture. The alcohol in the extract doesn’t have enough time to cook out and leaves everything with a distinctly alcoholic taste. 

This would be fine if other flavours used in the recipe complimented the taste of the alcohol or if the taste was expected (like an alcoholic french toast). Unfortunately, nothing here works with it and, being a breakfast food, it isn’t expected. So, it ends up overwhelming the toast and making it unappetizing.

My solution to this was to cut back the vanilla extract to ½ tsp. The taste was still a little strong, but there was an improvement. If you’re planning to make this at home, consider cutting the vanilla back even further, or try using vanilla bean instead to skip the alcohol entirely.

It’s also worth mentioning that the mascarpone makes these very rich. Interestingly, I found that the syrup and strawberries really helped cut the richness. You’re still only going to eat one though.

Finally, as mentioned in a previous step, although the structural integrity might be questionable with the sandwich method, it might be worth it just to skip spooning the mixture into the pockets. The mess it creates really makes you wonder if it’s worth it.

All in all, the unaltered recipe gets a 2.5/5, going up to 4/5 when the amount of vanilla extract is reduced. Still losing points for the remaining alcoholic taste and messy and needlessly difficult construction.

the absolute best quotes from bdylanhollis's vintage baking tiktoks

• "thought this was a joke. turns out im the joke."

• "you can use a mixer, i just do this to feel something"

• "fold in sauerkraut carefully. or what? im going to ruin your disaster?"

• "can a cake be tried for treason?"

• "either chocolate fixes everything or this is alchemy"

• *disgusted chewing noises* "DEMON BABY!!!"

• "before pumpkin pie became king people ate this....now they're dead."

• "combine all ingredients except for pie shell. were you rEALLY WORRIED I WAS GOING TO PUT A F U L L Y C O N S T R U C T E D PIE SHELL INTO THIS?"

• "im a fool, not an idiot."

• "its like reading directions to purgatory"

• "now we have carbonated mayonnaise lime water"

• "MARSHMALLOWS!! with the m a y o??"

• "chop up your dehydrated cow"

• "it tastes like it's insulting me"

• "and its not just a little bit. no. its a severe unauthorized CUP of mayonnaise."

• "honey you cant dilute a war crime"

• "you know its horrible now but i hope it turns out okay. like children."

• *beans boiling over in a pot* "ahhhhHH BEAN REBELLION!!"

• "eggie!! how many? i don't know. it just says EGGS."

• "did you just kill my blender?" *broken blender noises* "hello?" *insane maniacal laughter* "this is personal now. you swung first!!"

• "why are you good? yOU HAVE A BAG OF BEANS IN YOU!!"

• "one of the many questionable substances people experimented with in the 70s...pistachio pudding."

• "smells like a palm springs retirement home"

• "nixon wished it was this easy."

• "this was the cold war after all. fear of communist bananas was at an all time high."

• "the 70s. sponsored by the color beige."

• "its uncomfortably appetizing"

• "meat and desserts was quite common back then. so was botulism."

• "'honey would you like earl gray or pork?' 'ill take a divorce'"

• "sweet, bitter and meaty. like my ex."

• "don't say it dylan" *2 seconds later* "CIMMANIMM!!"

• "350 for two and a half hours! i suppose any less and it might gain consciousness."

• "its a little late in the century for war crimes."

• "are you just making things up? who are you??"

• *opening a can of spam* "you know ive never been particularly religious. but today might be the day."

• "a cup of evaporated milk?! have you lost the plot?!"

• "i feel like if i do this correctly im going to invoke the spirit of richard nixon"

• "this aint food honey this is a bioweapon"

• "sir your phone number is 4 digits"

• "well i don't have sorghum because i don't have a life expectancy of twelve"

• "thats the power of pine sol baby!"

• "bake to your liking. sweetie none of this is to my liking."

• "this is what id imagine a toilet brush to taste like"

• "this is why we don't perform lobotomies anymore."

• "should be a pale white." *holds butter up to arm for comparison*

• "i bet this recipe is just all the wrong answers on a baking test."

• "smells like dentures."

• "not bad dead people"

• "its incredible. and im mad about it."

• "sift your flour three times. lady your cake has tomato soup in it, this is thE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES!!"

• "'911 whats your emergency?' 'yeah that lady carol is at the barbecue again.'"

• "careful not to over mix. sorry im just trying to kill it."

• "now i know this is going to be awful because it calls for soured milk. not buttermilk, not milk and vinegar, no honey sOURED B A D MILK!"

• "disgusting wasnt enough for you?!"

• "call the U.N."

• "bake until done. you're a piece of work."

• *plays accordion on his kitchen floor*

• "tastes like a shower drain or a bunion"

• "this recipe was sent to me by herbert hoover feet pics. theres something for everybody"

• "are you nine inches yet?? said 14 year old me."

• "i suppose its better than eating your offspring"

• "oh betty crocker WHAT ARE YOU UP TO??"

• "you could just use canned pineapple. if you were a communist."

• "can you bake a pie with four ingredients? yes! i could also eat my mattress."

• "add three gils of water. was this written for a fish?"

• "i think this qualifies as a preexisting condition"

• "unconstitutional!"

• "its a breast implant"

• *clunking from the cabinets* "i think ive summoned something"

• "it seems to have collapsed. like the south."

• "the slogan for this cookbook is 'it's digestible'"

• "remember kids the main ingredient in pie pastry is self doubt"

• "fry in two tablespoons of crisco. on this episode of dead white people."

• "i didnt know tuberculosis had a color scheme"

• "ive baked a toilet."

• "how am i supposed to know how big your teacups are, ira?"

• "why do dead people like dates?"

• "easy does it. wouldn't want to ruin a disaster."

• "'ira honey i'm going to war.' 'over what?' 'your cooking'"

• "tastes like a boot. like a size 10 boot."

• "why just live in the great depression when you could also have chronic diarrhea"

• "it wants me to plumpen my prunes in water. well i won't be plumping my prunes in just anything. buy me dinner first."

• "it looks like a failed grave robbery"

• "walnuts aint gonna save this recipe sweetie"

• "you know its not bad it just vaguely tastes like a felony."

• "'where you goin with that tuna dylan?' 'oh you know just making jello"

• "this recipe is making me cry, not the onions"

• "are we sure this recipe wasnt written by a cat?"

• "it already looks like the great depression"

• "bake in a moderate oven. no need to get political"

•"don't tell gordon ramsey"

• "it tastes like a question mark. but a good question mark"

To all restaurants: you need an online presence OTHER THAN Facebook. Like, something people can access without any account or login at all.

Also, that online presence should just show your menu. Not a PDF download, simply your menu, directly, no need to start an online ordering process.

I remain amazed how many ways, in 2022, places can fuck this up.

i accept payment by cash or card, quality street

Yellow Yaks: Oat-Fudge Bars

Did you know? In MCC 22, the Yellow Yaks were nicknamed The Golden Girls and were MCC's first all-female team!

Welcome to the stage, the Yellow Yaks themed dessert: Oat-Fudge bars! 

I’ve had this idea knocking around in my head since last summer and now it’s done and I finally get to share it! This event is so much fun to watch and participate in as an audience member, so I really wanted to create something that everyone could enjoy!

Check out what I made for the Green Guardians, and, of course, thank you Scott Smajor.

(Check out the recipe below and huge thanks to Garbange for fixing the lighting in the picture! Inspired by these.)

Prep: 5 mins + cutting out the template      Cook:  4h 50 mins*       Overall:  5 hrs

* Includes cooling time (3 hrs).

Ingredients

For the oat layers:

½ cup (113 g) unsalted butter, melted

½ cup (100 g) granulated sugar

½ cup (100 g) packed brown sugar

1 large egg

2 tsp. (10 ml) vanilla extract

1 cup + 2 tbsp. (135 g) all-purpose flour

¼ tsp. (2 g) salt

½ tsp. (1 g) cinnamon (optional)

1 ⅓ cups (105 g) old-fashioned oats

For the chocolate fudge:

¾ cup + 2 tbsp. (170 g) semi-sweet chocolate chips

¾ cup (175 ml) sweetened condensed milk

2 tbsp. (21 g) unsalted butter

¼ tsp. (2 g) salt

First, preheat the oven to 350°F (177°C) and with the oven rack in the middle of the oven.

In a large bowl whisk together the melted butter and sugars (picture 1).

Then, whisk in the egg and vanilla extract (picture 2).

Next, fold in the flour, salt, and cinnamon (picture 3).

Finally, fold in the oats (picture 4).

Lightly grease an 8x8-inch square pan. Cut parchment paper to fit the pan so that the bottom is covered and the parchment only hangs over two sides of the pan.

Then, spoon about a ¾ cup of the mixture into the bottom of the prepared pan and spread it so that it creates an even layer.

Set the remaining oatmeal mixture aside.

To make the fudge, add about ½-inch of water to a medium saucepan over medium-low heat and place a large glass or stainless steel bowl over top (picture 1). Make sure the bottom of the bowl doesn’t touch the water!

Then, add the chocolate chips, sweetened condensed milk, and butter to the bowl (picture 1). Gently stir the mixture as it melts.

Once the mixture has a smooth consistency (picture 2), remove the pan from the heat.

Pour the chocolate mixture over top of the oatmeal layer (picture 3).

NOTE: You can also melt the chocolate mixture in the microwave using a microwave safe bowl and stirring after 10 second increments until the mixture has a smooth consistency.

NOTE: Make sure to hold the bowl with a kitchen towel if using stainless steel - it really heats up!

To make the faces, first place the cut-out template overtop of the fudge layer (picture 1).

Then, fill the void areas with the remaining oat mixture that was set aside (picture 2) reserve a very small amount to fill in the areas where the nose was kept attached (the white spots).

Next, remove the template and fill in the areas where the nose was kept attached (picture 3).

Finally, bake in the preheated oven for 25-30 minutes. The pieces of oatmeal cookie on top should look set.

After the bars are done baking, allow them to FULLY COOL IN THE PAN (about 3 hours).

TIP: I recommend cutting out the faces on the template with an x-acto knife and the pan border with scissors. Don’t forget to leave a little bit of the white area to keep the nose holes and nose bridge attached!

NOTE: You can cook the bars for longer if you want crispier, less chewy bars.

To cut out the faces, start by lifting the bars out of the pan using the overhanging parchment paper and place it on a cutting board (picture 1).

Slice into four pieces (picture 2).

Finally, print a second template and cut the face of one of the Yaks. Place it over top of each bar and use it as a guide to cut out the shape of each face (picture 3). 

TIP: The ears are a difficult since they’re really thin on the cutout. I recommend letting all of that chocolate area be for the ears and to cut out the head starting at the oats. See the title and final picture as an example.

Ta-da! Time to enjoy your tasty treat!

Honestly, I love these so much, 10/10. Not only did the designs come out super well but they taste amazing. 

I’m used to, and still kinda prefer, the ones at Starbucks that don’t include cinnamon (why I made adding it optional) but they’re fantastic either way!

Now, time to get energized and watch our favourite streamers compete in this MCC!

TEMPLATE:

Follow the following instructions to print this in the right size for an 8x8-inch pan (for Windows, sorry Apple users, idk if this works with mac):

Left click the image > Right click > Save image as… > Save

Right click the downloaded image > Open with > Paint

File > Print > Print > Select Print to PDF > Apply > Cancel

File > Print > Page Setup > Select Portrait > Set all margins to 0 > Ok 

File > Print > Print to PDF > Print > Name the file > Save

Double left click the saved PDF > Select your browser of choice > Click the print button > Select your printer > Print

a customer just came in and ordered a flat white with six (6) shots in it. for clarity thats like.. a full cup of espresso with maybe an inch of milk sitting on top. this mf is trying to meet the hat man

Trick or Treat :D

go ahead, take a handful! 😊

episode twelve: honeyed ham 🍖🍽🗡