The Bad Boys Bakery

I seem to get this vague impression that maybe y'all want to see the bad boys? Could just be me though.

Without further ado, may I present:

The Bad Boys Bakery

Allegedly run by an FBI task force as a crime-watching front, the Bad Boys Bakery is known for the wide variety of breads and pastries it offers. They have a longstanding, mostly one-sided rivalry with the Clock Cafe because their cakes are stealing the bakery’s customer base from under their noses.

Grian [Last name redacted]: The extremely stressed head of the operation to track down and neutralise the main mafia family in the area, the Clockers. He’s also the official owner of the bakery. He vehemently denies the existence of any romantic and/or sexual tension between him and the charismatic owner of their rival cafe, insisting that the only intentions he has with Scar Goodtimes are homicidal. (Grian’s right to declare murderous urges is protected under the First Amendment.) He is banned from the kitchen due to his pathological obsession with buttons. Joel [Last name redacted]: Head baker and Grian’s right-hand man, Joel has tasked himself with baking a pie so good it draws his wife out of hiding. Some wonder if he has perhaps gotten a bit too into character with the whole bread thing, seeing as he’s supposed to be part of the FBI’s most elite covert ops team. It’s fine. Why do you care so much if Joel’s a secret agent from the American government? What, are you obsessed with him or something? Jimmy [Last name redacted]: Jimmy handles the storefront and greets every prospective customer with the same grin and, if accused of being a toy cowboy (long story), the same indignation. He is fine with being the mascot for their bakery, though. When not trying to fight crime or run a bakery, Jimmy enjoys bubble baths, plotting with his cat Norman, and convincing his friends to play board games with him. Also, for some reason, every time someone pays in cash they give him nickels?

With all the bread you could ever want and then some, why not stop by the Bad Boys Bakery today? Any information on your local money launderers is also much appreciated.

poll results under the cut

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