Chia Pet Couple Wins Again.

💘💖💝

I was at a bookstore looking through the art section and I saw a spine that said The Camden Town Nudes which was interesting because this didn’t seem like the bookstore where I would ever find something like that and I wanted to have a casual look but like. This also wasn’t exactly the bookstore where you felt like you could look at naked pictures let alone just suggestive paintings of them, it’s a really small shop as well, so I was like right I’ll just take a quick peek, I’m an art student, I love history, maybe I’ll buy it. I looked both ways and saw the shopkeep had left momentarily and no one was about, so I opened it and found it was an entire book featuring nude Edwardian women all painted by Walter Sickert between 1905-1912 and it was actually quite a revolutionary set of paintings for its time given that it featured very raw depictions of working class nude women in dark London instead of the elegant, white bedsheet clad, Demure middle and upper class women usually depicted.

And of course RIGHT as I flip to this lady’s boobs practically taking up an entire double page spread, every customer in a 5 mile radius appeared from around the corners of the shelf including the shopkeep and immediately regressing to a wet, pathetic Edwardian man from 1908, startled, I dropped the large book which caused a giant SLAP on the floor in this already silent store thus causing all patrons to look down at me scrambling on my knees to close a giant book of Edwardian boobs and let me tell you it would not have been nearly as funny had I not immediately felt like some Edwardian local pervert who just tried to sneak a cheeky peek at the erotic book in the bookstore only to drop it dramatically causing a scene, red up to his ears trying to shove it back on the shelf. Like such a casual and normal thing in modern day but looking at Edwardian women suddenly turned it into this egregious act as I apparently became possessed by the spirit of a moustached man in a bowler hat and morning coat going Good Heavens I mustn’t gaze upon these images in public lest the constable haul me away!

this post is an experiment, I am curious about how far you will get into the post.

to start, I challenge you to read the orange text below, and not read any further:

the challenge is to only read this far into the post. if you are stopping here, leave a comment about your favorite carbohydrate.

ok, you have decided to continue reading. hell yeah. no shame in that at all. this test is not meant to make you feel bad, in fact, you should be happy whenever you want forever.

if you made it here leave a comment of your favorite fictional universe, you are officially a Tier 2 Post Reader.

ok, the next part of this post is behind a barrier, there's a keep reading button. if you made it this far, tell me your favorite reptile in the comments. you are more than welcome to stop here, only continue if you would like to.

hiiiii :)

ok you're in the big leagues now. this is the DLC of the post. if you made it here, tell me your favorite milk substitute.

now FOR REAL. this would be a cool place to finish off at. you can go after this, I promise you're not missing out, you can leave. If you made it here, tell me what tattoo you would get if you decided to get a new tattoo today.

thank you for reading, I promise this is a cool place to stop reading the post. you really can go now. :) 👍

*ahem* alright, you are still with me. I'm happy to have ya. here's the deal, the chance of you seeing a picture of my dog within this post is 12.5%. you have a 1/8 chance of seeing a dog in this post.

keep in mind, that is not a high chance.

if you are ready to leave now, tell me your favorite plant. like, your favorite plant can be a tree or a specific fruit or vegetable or whatever. just tell me your favorite. then you may leave the post.

alright. since you made it here, I have the ultimate test: a link. definitely the highest barrier to entry so far, this could lead you anywhere. it's a trust exercise with a complete stranger.

clicking on this link will continue the post further, for how long this will go on, I cannot say. If you do not want to proceed, tell me your favorite sauce, and be on your way. I like buffalo ranch.

may i share with you the best video on the internet

I saw a post saying that Boromir looked too scruffy in FotR for a Captain of Gondor, and I tried to move on, but I’m hyperfixating. Has anyone ever solo backpacked? I have. By the end, not only did I look like shit, but by day two I was talking to myself. On another occasion I did fourteen days’ backcountry as the lone woman in a group of twelve men, no showers, no deodorant, and brother, by the end of that we were all EXTREMELY feral. You think we looked like heirs to the throne of anywhere? We were thirteen wolverines in ripstop.

My boy Boromir? Spent FOUR MONTHS in the wilderness! Alone! No roads! High floods! His horse died! I’m amazed he showed up to Imladris wearing clothes, let alone with a decent haircut. I’m fully convinced that he left Gondor looking like Richard Sharpe being presented to the Prince Regent in 1813

*electric guitar riff*

And then rocked up to Imladris a hundred ten days later like

DUHHH DUH DAH DAH DUH DAH DAHHH!!!

One of the most important things I have learned today..