Aw Scrimblo 🥺 You Are Like Feebee Bouba 😭

[footage of Victor Frankenstein sewing together female body parts to make a mate for the Creature while Lou Bega’s Mambo no.5 plays]

hello there, open and vast internet!

i am going to be shitposting, not expecting to be popular or having any followers at all. this is my first account for this website and there might be posts that i regret.

that being said, may the shame begin!

ITS APRIL 13 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

FETCH ME NEIL

I saw a post saying that Boromir looked too scruffy in FotR for a Captain of Gondor, and I tried to move on, but I’m hyperfixating. Has anyone ever solo backpacked? I have. By the end, not only did I look like shit, but by day two I was talking to myself. On another occasion I did fourteen days’ backcountry as the lone woman in a group of twelve men, no showers, no deodorant, and brother, by the end of that we were all EXTREMELY feral. You think we looked like heirs to the throne of anywhere? We were thirteen wolverines in ripstop.

My boy Boromir? Spent FOUR MONTHS in the wilderness! Alone! No roads! High floods! His horse died! I’m amazed he showed up to Imladris wearing clothes, let alone with a decent haircut. I’m fully convinced that he left Gondor looking like Richard Sharpe being presented to the Prince Regent in 1813

*electric guitar riff*

And then rocked up to Imladris a hundred ten days later like

may i share with you the best video on the internet

i’m always a sucker for the “robot suddenly goes a little haywire and learns how to love” trope

you can take the water out of the swamp but not the smell

this post is an experiment, I am curious about how far you will get into the post.

to start, I challenge you to read the orange text below, and not read any further:

the challenge is to only read this far into the post. if you are stopping here, leave a comment about your favorite carbohydrate.

ok, you have decided to continue reading. hell yeah. no shame in that at all. this test is not meant to make you feel bad, in fact, you should be happy whenever you want forever.

if you made it here leave a comment of your favorite fictional universe, you are officially a Tier 2 Post Reader.

ok, the next part of this post is behind a barrier, there's a keep reading button. if you made it this far, tell me your favorite reptile in the comments. you are more than welcome to stop here, only continue if you would like to.

hiiiii :)

ok you're in the big leagues now. this is the DLC of the post. if you made it here, tell me your favorite milk substitute.

now FOR REAL. this would be a cool place to finish off at. you can go after this, I promise you're not missing out, you can leave. If you made it here, tell me what tattoo you would get if you decided to get a new tattoo today.

thank you for reading, I promise this is a cool place to stop reading the post. you really can go now. :) 👍

*ahem* alright, you are still with me. I'm happy to have ya. here's the deal, the chance of you seeing a picture of my dog within this post is 12.5%. you have a 1/8 chance of seeing a dog in this post.

keep in mind, that is not a high chance.

if you are ready to leave now, tell me your favorite plant. like, your favorite plant can be a tree or a specific fruit or vegetable or whatever. just tell me your favorite. then you may leave the post.

alright. since you made it here, I have the ultimate test: a link. definitely the highest barrier to entry so far, this could lead you anywhere. it's a trust exercise with a complete stranger.

clicking on this link will continue the post further, for how long this will go on, I cannot say. If you do not want to proceed, tell me your favorite sauce, and be on your way. I like buffalo ranch.