If You Don't Know What To Do Or Where To Go, You Can Try Rolling Up To Your Local Church This Sunday

Who relates?

The plot ideas in my head: incredible, beautiful, award-winning

My plot ideas when I write them down: dumpster fire

No thankyou, we prefer to keep it how it is. Or we could be the followers of the way, like we were 2,000 years ago. That one sounded pretty cool.

I was Judas at the last supper and instead of Jesus saying the whole “body to bread, blood to wine” speech, he just sang the entire Neon Genesis Evangelion intro, word for word, and I refused to betray him.

Ayo this is kinda weird but I need to spread the word. In the book of revelation, in the Bible, it says we cannot know the day or the hour that Jesus will return, but I does give us a few things that need to happen first.

The Euphrates river will dry up (has happened)

Evil will increase in the earth (I'd say it is)

The nations of the world will rise up against Israel (this one makes me think we've got a few years left)

And we'll all be under one world government (I think there are more but I don't know them)

If the rapture comes and you're not ready, you're gonna go to a not-so-good place I think you know the name of, and you don't have forever. You can't get to heaven instead by being a good person. Even one sub is too many. The one and only way to get there is through Jesus. He came to Earth as a human and died for our sins on a cross, then rose again three days later and defeated death. The only way for a human to get to heaven is by deciding to trust that that really happened, that Jesus was the son of God, to accept that you're a sinner, and to accept the free gift of life and heaven from God. I know I'm not the best with words, but God is God, so maybe he can use this post. Try a local church. There's a really good Bible app called youversion and a website called gotquestions that can answer any question about the Bible. And there's also something in the Bible called the Romans road:

Romans 3:23 'for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.'

Romans 5:8 'but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.'

Romans 6:23 'for the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.'

Romans 8:1 'there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Romans 10:9 'that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.'

Please listen guys I don't want anybody to go to hell

Seeing as how a dumb amount of villains had teamed up, this qualified as a worldwide disaster. After getting smacked at the watchtower, the Justice League realized they had to create a real plan. They weren't going to defeat this rapidly growing rendition of the League of Doom by brute force.

For want of a headquarters, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, the Flash, Green Lantern, and Aquaman had opted to meet in the batcave. Although Robin and the former robins understood the gravity of the situation, they saw no point in moping about it if they weren't allowed to join the meeting.

They instead amused themselves by having a many- way wrestling match in an adjacent room, with Barbara as the referee. It made a lot more noise than they thought.

"If we attack from the west-" CRASH!

"DIE FOUL BEAST!" (They tended to get a bit personal when wrestling.)

"DICK! JASON! TIM! DAMIAN! BARBARA! CASSANDRA! STEPH! QUIET!" Batman shouted for the fifth time.

"You have too many children," Flash said.

"That's not what matters right now," Batman replied, not even denying it. "We need a viable strategy- if everyone fights their own nemeses, we will know what to expect, but so will they."

A crash shook the wall. Most all of the sidekicks and former sidekicks were communicating in the odd, chirping language of their own invention by now. Cassandra screeched in an almost mocking tone, to which Barbara responded with a chastising chirrup. Cass tweeted apologetically.

Batman got up from his chair and stormed to the door. Slamming it open, he let loose a massive "SCREEEEEEECH!" followed by a rapid "SCRAW- CK CHKCKCHK- SSSSKCKCKS-" and a final "rrrrraAaAaAAAAaSKSCSKSCRA!"

Utter silence. Batman slid back into his seat. Green Lantern voiced the thought in everyone's mind.

"Bruce- you speak chirp language?"

Batman raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, of course. Didn't you know that?"

The inspiration is linked: https://at.tumblr.com/commiecricket/the-concept-of-the-batfamily-having-a-secret/urx40vh7x2ow

people who don’t wear glasses will never understand the absolute humiliation of dropping your glasses under your bed or in a dark area and feeling around on all fours muttering “my glasses…. where are my glasses” like fucking Velma Dinkley and thinking to yourself BOY WOULD THIS BE A LOT EASIER IF I COUKD FUCKING SEE

Care to share with the class?

Making my little sister identify random Star Trek characters:

White Bread:

“If the computer ever doesn’t work, he sticks his finger in the socket and becomes the computer.”

“He hasn’t been outside in like, 80 years.”

“He cuts his own hair.”

Charles Xavier:

“He’s Captain Kirk’s father.”

“He comes onto the ship only for parent observation day, and he enjoys a good doughnut.”

Banana:

“He chose his name based on the color of his shirt. When you join the space, they let you pick a new name.”

“He works in the cafeteria, but everybody hates it because he only serves bananas.”

(This child has watched the original series. I don’t understand.)

Martha John:

“She used to be a nun, but she liked the space life instead, so she quit the sisterhood and joined the space.”

“White Bread cuts her hair too, with computer-like precision.”

“She hosts the ship’s karaoke party every Friday, and always opens with ‘My Heart Will Go On’.”

Darren:

“He’s the head of weapons” (said after I insisted that the ship has to have people with practical skills and not just party organizers.)

“When he joined, everyone thought he was so pretty they put his picture up everywhere.”

“He studies aliens but only the little ones.”

Winkle:

“They rescued Winkle from a bacon farm.”

“They give him a spray tan when he feels sad.”

“His job on the ship is he’s an emotional support animal, but he’s also a man.”

Sansha:

“What’s on her head?”

“Okay she studies space bugs, but when she flies around in space her visit only covers part of her face, so there’s bug debris.”

“She doesn’t like Winkle because he’s not a bug.”

“First name: He. Last name: Hears”

“He’s the professional ‘spakeup artist’ (space makeup artist). His job is to make them all look good.”

“Ears are in style right now.”

“His eyeshadow is on fleek.”

Dan:

“Just an ordinary man.”

“His part-time job is fixing the ship’s engines. His full-time job is being a footrest. He sits down and lets people rest their feet on him.”

“They’re not sure he’s human but don’t question him because he might have a deeper power.”

Lieclops:

“He lies.”

“He’s in charge of alien communications because he speaks a bunch of languages, but he only knows how to lie.”

“He has no eyes, only lies. That’s his motto. ‘All lies, no eyes’.”

If anyone is waiting on tenterhooks for a new story, I promise I will have one eventually. Highschool is highschool right now.

that "OKAY SO" before someone u love starts infodumping........ most blessed feeling in the world

(study hall, hearing 9th graders discussing a project about provinces in Canada)

"What am I supposed to put on the slides? No one lives in New Brunswick. No one cares about New Brunswick. All I have is the bay of Fundy."