If U Call Me Baby In That Soft Voice I’ll Do Whatever U Want Me To Do

his dark materials – “the botanic garden”

It’s odd, isn’t it? People die every day and the world goes on like nothing happened. But when it’s a person you love, you think everyone should stop and take notice. That they ought to cry and light candles and tell you that you’re not alone.

Kristina McMorris, Letters From Home (via survivingsiblingsuicide)

me when someone asks how im doing lately

Sharp Objects — Fix

Matilda sits cross legged on the counter as she watches Jesse lock up around her. Her shift technically finished over an hour ago, but the combination of a familiar yet unwelcome face lurking across the road and the unsettling recent events didn’t exactly have her rushing to leave. She takes a sip from a bottle she had picked up during her lunch break and saved till now, extending it to Jesse.

‘‘I have a very very very important question ’’ she starts, pulling her legs up to her chest ‘‘ do you wanna come to the park and swing on the swings with me ? I might even push you if you’re lucky ’’

@hvrrorsfm

Steve Harrington and Max Mayfield annoying each other for ten minutes straight

❝ i’d say darkness and misery is a pretty pleasing aesthetic , ❞ and pretty accurate for this shitty town bash was merely destined to r o t in . ❝ so , i’d say you know well enough . black and blues is as far as I can go , ❞ 

(  JONATHAN  DAVIS  +  CIS  MALE  +  HE  /  HIM  )     🠒     PARENTS  by  yungblud  is  something  that  resonates  with  SAMMY  TURNER.   the  drug  dealer  /  bartender  at  glen  ellen’s  local  bar  is  glen  ellen's  very  own   DIRTBAG   who  has  been  in  town  for  fifteen  years  and  while  they  are  only  twenty  five,    they  can  be  very   SHORT  FUSED    but  if  their  friends  mentioned  them,    you'd  think  they  were  more  LOYAL.   in  a  town  where  every  one  knows  everyone,    it's  hard  to  keep  a  secret,     but  i  think  the  killer  knows  that  [  REDACTED  ],     and  it's  bound  to  get  out  sometime  soon.   i  wonder  if  the  killer  also  thinks  of   bloodied  knuckles,  care  bear  plasters,  misplaced  anger,  shotgunning  at  parties,  black  nail  polish,  discarded  baggies,  a  thick  cockney  accent   like  i  do,    when  i  think  of  them. 

full name — samuel alexander turner nickname(s) — sam, sammy. name meaning — god has heard age — twenty five date of birth — april 1st place of birth — hackney, london, england current location — glen ellen, california, us gender — cis-male pronouns — he/him sexual orientation — homosexual

height — 5′11 religion — agnostic occupation — bartender / drug dealer education level — high school family — douglas turner ( father ), katherine turner ( mother ) joshua, caleb, poppy, beau, max, mila ( siblings ) finances — lower working class / poor spoken languages — English 

medical diagnosis’ — adhd, depression, ptsd, anxiety, oppositional defiance disorder

voiceclaim — danny dyer

Inspired by : James Cook ( Skins ), Mickey Maguire ( shamless ), Neil Sutherland ( the inbetweeners ), Nathan Young ( misfits ), alex karev ( greys anatomy )

Tw for abuse, substance misuse, violence. 

- Sammy is the second eldest of several children born to Douglas and Katherine Turner. He grew up in a two bedroom housing estate in Hackney, London. He attended a state school on the verge of closure, he ran wild ran the estate with friends a lot older. He did everything and anything to avoid going home. Nobody saw the signs - or more, nobody wanted to see the signs. 

- Douglas and Katherine did not parent well. They barely existed well. Douglas was abusive in his methods with a temper that couldn’t be controlled around adults or children. Katherine, sweet Katherine, grew tired and fearful. Trapped and complacent. Josh and Sammy basically took on the role of parents to the smalls. 

- Shortly after his tenth birthday the family immigrated to the states. ‘too much trouble over ‘ere’ Douglas had mumbled. 

- Coming into teenage hood, Sammy grew angry. Angry at his situation and the cards dealt to him. He had always struggled in school, but now his behaviour was unmanageable. It was like his body was constantly in fight or flight mode. ‘Defensive, Lazy, Unmotivated - a teachers nightmare’ - all words scrawled across his report cards over the years. they don’t care, Sammy had realised. They don’t want to listen to my screams for help. nobody fucking cares.

- It would have been obvious, to anybody who stepped back and looked at the entire unit, that Sammy had a magnitude of odds stacked against him. Some days all he needed was a fucking win. Somebody to turn around and say that they saw him. Nobody did. He was pegged as a failure before he even had a chance. Nobody cares !! Nobody cares !! It’s all his fault and nobody fucking cares !!

- Douglas only grew angrier with age and the aggression only got worse as his kids grew stronger and started to fight back. Stupid sack of shit - you’ll never win against him.

- Sammy knew he would never win. He knew by fourteen that it was futile to try. He took whatever fist was thrown at him, and he spent his teenage years stepping between his father and his siblings, pleading with his mother to do something. If she couldn’t protect them, he would. Josh had grown useless in his own years. While Sammy only felt anger, he felt a strong desire to step away and keep his head down. Coward - why don’t you grow a better fucking coping mechanism !!

- aside from the obvious, there was another undetected reason for Sammy’s piss poor school performance. He couldn’t read - not well at least. He had managed to skirt by this issue for the majority of his life. He used their own diastase of him to hide the embarrassment. He spoke in jibberish with a shit eating grin when asked to read aloud, made sexual innuendos when questioned about board work and kicked off or doodled on school tests. Fuck it, if they didn’t care, why should he?. Until one teacher did, one who had been eyeing up the boy and taking note of his deteriorating behaviour for a while. He kept him back one afternoon and asked Sammy to read a passage from the assigned text to him. Sammy did the usual - pout and moan and roll his eyes and demand to be let go for lunch. This interaction repeated itself again and again, and after years of screaming to be seen, he suddenly wanted to be left alone again.

- this teacher didn’t leave him alone. In fact, he invested in Sammy. He encouraged him to take up drumming, and payed for his lessons (unbeknownst to Sammy, who assumed it was free), he tutored him after school and once building up some trust he took Sammy for an eye test one afternoon. It transpired that not only could Sammy not read well, he couldn’t see very well either. The opticians where shocked at how he had been going about day to day tasks with one blind eye and the other with intense short sightedness (not that he will wear the stupid glasses. Fuck that).

- Adulthood doesn’t feel too dissimilar to teenage hood, Sammy finds. It’s still just misdirected anger and school runs he didn’t sign up for. It’s still running for your life against wolves, it’s still fight or flight and pre conceived judgements. It’s still untamed loyalty that his teachers swore he would grow out of. The only difference is while he once questioned why the universe just wanted to piss on him, he know understands it’s probably deserved.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

- Exes / hookups / fwb: Sammy is massively touch starved and falls for people very easily (though he will never admit it). He always tends to be the one to fuck it up though

- The teacher: as stated in his bio, this teacher has a massive positive impact on Sammy and changed the course of his life. They still check up on Sammy and is no doubt teaching the other Turners right now. They may even be Sammys call when he gets arrested for dumb shit. 

- best friends: while Sammy can appear to be a pos, he has the biggest heart in the world. He really is just misunderstood but once he builds a connection he guards it with his life.

Enemies: It’s well known this boy likes to throw a punch or two - if you’re lucky it could be you!

Clients: As well as working at the bar, Sammy also deals drugs. The money is mostly used to support his siblings, so really it’s like charity! The more drugs you do, the more shoes there are for the kids!

Potential partners: I have nothing to say but 😢 give him one good thing

AFFECTIONATE  AND  AFFIRMING  PROMPTS 

❝  i’ll always want to listen to you.  ❞

❝  any time spent with you is time i treasure.  every second.  ❞

❝  my favorite color changes but it’s always the same,  whatever color you’re wearing.  ❞

❝  whatever matters to you matters to me,  you’re important to me.  ❞

❝  you’re so strong.  and brave—but i wish you knew you don’t always have to be.  i’m here,  if you’re ever willing to let me help shoulder those burdens.  ❞

❝  i’m not staring,  i’m admiring.  ❞

❝  i’ll always be yours,  in one way or another.  ❞

❝  you don’t ever have to worry with me.  i’m here for good.  ❞

❝  you are more beautiful than you know.  ❞

❝  you have a beautiful mind and a wonderful soul,  don’t ever let anyone make you think differently.  ❞

❝  i’m happier when you’re here.  ❞

❝  you’ve become my joy.  ❞

❝  whatever else happens,  if i have you,  i’m content.  ❞

❝  well,  i do feel a little better now that you’re here.  ❞

❝  you do make me happy,  it’s important you know that.  ❞

❝  you will always be my priority.  ❞

❝  i love you forever.  ❞

❝  you don’t know how glad i am to see you.  ❞

❝  you look wonderful.  ❞

❝  i want you to feel safe with me.  ❞

❝  i’m not letting you go until you say it out loud.  you’re beautiful and strong.  you deserve to believe it.  ❞

❝  sometimes you amaze me—i mean you always do.  but you have such intuition and real wisdom about things.  i like understanding the way you see the world.  ❞

❝  you carry yourself with such grace.  ❞

❝  you have a way of lighting up even the darkest moments.  ❞

❝  a tender heart is a courageous thing to preserve.  don’t ever be ashamed of having one.  ❞

❝   being around you makes me a better person.  ❞

❝  i hope you know just how full of worth you are.  ❞

❝  you always make me see things differently.  i appreciate your perspective. ❞

❝  i’m just enjoying you.  you look happy today and i like seeing that.  ❞

❝  you’re very valuable to me.  ❞

❝  you can come to me with anything.  anything at all.  ❞

❝  there is not a place in the world i would rather be than right here with you.  ❞

❝  come here,  come sit in my lap and tell me about your day.  ❞

❝  come put your head in my lap and tell me something new.  ❞

❝  i love it when you smile at me like that.  ❞

❝  i don’t think i can share you with anyone today.  ❞

❝  i’ll take you anywhere you want.  just tell me where.  ❞

❝  bored? of you?  impossible.  ❞

❝  if you like it i’ll get you one.  ❞

❝  your happiness matters greatly to me.  ❞

❝  you deserve to reach the goals you want in life.  you deserve to obtain anything you wish.  ❞

❝  you’re doing well.  you’re just discouraged and tired.  ❞

❝  you need to rest,  you don’t have to do it all today.  ❞

❝  the way i love you goes beyond description.  even those words don’t seem like enough.  ❞

❝  you come first.  you’re always my first choice.  ❞

❝  no,  if you’re upset that’s what matters right now.  talk to me.  ❞

❝  i want to share in your joy.  i want to be part of all things that make you happy.  ❞

❝  all of my best moments are the ones that have you in them.  ❞

❝  i would give you anything you ask of me. ❞

[ COMFORT ]  sender discovers receiver brooding and quietly approaches to carefully hug them from behind. 

[ SOOTHE ]  in the midst of a tense moment,  receiver turns away to conceal their emotions but sender wraps their arms around them and holds them from behind. 

[ CLOSE ]  sender reaches out and pulls receiver into their lap as they’re walking by. 

[  STOP  ]  sender reaches out and takes receiver’s face into their hands,  drawing them away from what they’re doing so they can just look at receiver for a moment.  

[ GIVE ]  sender greets with receiver with a gift. 

[ BRING ]  sender takes receiver out for the day to pamper them. 

[ ATTENTION ]  sender peppers a series of caresses over receiver’s face in an attempt to make them laugh or smile. 

[ COAX ]  sender knows receiver has had a lot on their mind,  so they hold them for a while to help them relax and hopefully open up. 

[ CARESS ]   sender sits by quietly while receiver works,  petting their hair and simply providing company. 

[ RELAX ]  sender gives receiver a massage. 

[ LOOK ]  for receiver to catch sender gazing adoringly at them.

[ MORNING ]  for sender to wake receiver with a kiss.