I’m Not Him

Ganger!Doctor x Reader

Summary - You liked The Doctor, but he didn’t feel the same way about you. What will happen when you meet his Ganger again?

Based On This Request -

Warnings - references to character death, sadness

Word Count - 1772

A/n - Gender Neutral Reader. I posted this request over on my old Tumblr account and I just wanted to repost it on here.

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You walked, curiously and trepidatiously, around the halls and corners of The TARDIS. For the past couple of days, you heard The Doctor rummaging around the ship, and you finally decided to investigate. He would do stuff like this often, rummaging and making tons of noise, but not for this long of a time. He was definitely up to something.

The Doctor had avoided everyone since the events of Demon’s Run and it was beginning to scare you, more than the fact that he was secretly planning something behind your back. You had heard stories from Madame Vastra and River that The Doctor had a history of shutting down after extremely eye-opening or sorrowful events, but you had never seen him act like this yourself. You didn’t know how to react to him acting like this.

You had been left behind at Demon’s Run along with Amy, Rory, and River, and River eventually took all of you home with her vortex manipulator. Soon after you were getting used to being at home, though, The Doctor showed up at your doorstep. He said that it had been a while since he had seen you and he was excited for you to see what he had planned. You were excited, too, at the moment, but now you were just scared.

The Doctor Had not picked up Amy and Rory yet, but River invited herself into the TARDIS constantly. She added to The Doctor’s rummaging and whispering around the ship. You wondered what they were doing, but then you figured that you might not want to know.

However, one thought continued to plague your mind, and that was why The Doctor brought you back onto The TARDIS in the first place, especially without Amy and Rory. You had joined the couple after The Doctor ran into you on one of his private adventures that he would go on when he couldn’t sleep and stayed ever since. Your life on The TARDIS was much more exciting than your life on Earth and you didn’t want to stay on that planet any longer. But everything that led up to today was making you worried that your time exploring the Universe was ending.

The Doctor randomly jumped out from a corridor with his spacey wacey goggles hanging around his neck. You jumped and shrieked from the shock while The Doctor profusely apologised. He placed both of his hands on your shoulders and squeezed them reassuringly.

“Y/n, I have something very exciting to show you!” You barely mumbled a still shocked “okay” before The Doctor quickly grabbed your hand and lead you towards a room you had never seen before. It was dark, with only a couple of dim, orangy-yellowy lights glowing on the walls, making the whole situation stranger. You could see through the dim lighting that there was a mechanised tub similar to the machine you saw at Saint John's Base. You remembered that trip well, it was shocking and emotional, but you could not put the pieces The Doctor was feeding you together.

“Doctor, I don’t understand. What is all of this?”

“What does it look like? I’m fulfilling my promise and proving my theory correct.” The Doctor moved to fiddle with a few wires and tubes, making sure that they were all set.

“Your Ganger?” You questioned The Doctor, still confused.

“John Smith, yes!” The alien before you briefly stopped what he was doing to exclaim what he thought was obvious. Before getting back to checking to see if everything was in order.

“You’re bringing him back? Why?” The Doctor finally stopped fiddling with the machine to look at you confused.

“For you, of course!” You questioned what he meant by that.

“I saw how the two of you became very close that day. I thought that I might bring him back for you.” The Doctor looked slightly sad, and you didn’t know why.

“I thought he was you back then.” You weren’t lying, but you did like The Doctor’s Ganger, he seemed to care about you more than The Doctor, who seemed to only have eyes for Amy and River.

“After you found out, the two of you still became very close. I just don’t like you being alone, Y/n.” You were shocked by The Doctor’s reveal and didn’t know what to say to all of this information. You were going to tell The Doctor to wait, give you time to think if this is actually what you wanted, but he already started the machine.

The tub filled itself with a formula, and then the liquid moulded and formed into The Doctor’s Ganger. Both of you and The Doctor watched curiously as all of this was happening. Suddenly, The Ganger!Doctor’s eyes popped open, and he screamed loudly in pain. He curled into a fetal position while clutching his head. The Doctor went to check if everything was okay on the scans and computers in the corner monitoring everything.

You joined The Doctor to watch the computers as well, but then out of the corner of your eye, you saw The Ganger!Doctor jumping up out of the tub. He seemed perfectly fine despite the pain he was in a moment ago.

“Ah! I’m back!” He stated cheerfully, adjusting his red bowtie.

Your mouth fell open in shock after looking at The Ganger!Doctor in the eye. You didn’t know what to do or say. Your breath began to quicken, and your head started to hurt. So, you quickly turned to walk back to your room.

You were so confused. A jumble of emotions ran through your head, and you couldn’t really focus on any of them for a long time. You liked The Doctor, you had for a long time, but you never let yourself love him. You were well aware of The Doctor’s relationship with River, and you were happy for them both, but it did sting your heart a bit because you had no one. The Doctor and River had each other and Amy and Rory had each other, and you wanted someone, too. Now The Doctor was giving you his Ganger. The possibility of not being alone was right before you, but you couldn’t help but run away.

It was true, you did like the Ganger!Doctor when you first met him. But it felt as if you were being pawned off by The Doctor. You were now angry. You couldn’t help but feel like this “gift” was bittersweet because even though The Doctor was being kind, he would never understand why it hurt. And you felt so sad for The Ganger!Doctor. He never did anything wrong and kept getting hurt in the process. You didn’t really know what feeling to prioritise and you just needed to be alone.

After spending a couple of hours doing everything but thinking about what just happened, you finally accepted that The Ganger!Doctor was back, and he was here for you. You were grateful that The Doctor thought of you, despite the questionable act. And you really did want to get to know The Ganger!Doctor on a personal level and outside of an adventure. You considered going out and trying to talk to the Ganger!Doctor, but a sudden knock on your door drew you out of your thoughts. You spoke a quiet “come in” and readjusted the work you were doing off of your lap.

“Hello …” It was the Ganger!Doctor, lingering in the doorway. Normally you probably wouldn’t be able to tell, but he was wearing the same thing he was wearing before, and you didn’t think that The Doctor would clean all of The TARDIS grease off of his clothes and face that quickly.

“Hello,” You responded bittersweetly.

“Hello …” The Ganger!Doctor repeated himself, and you could tell that he cursed himself in his head because of the disgruntled face he made.

“May I come in?” You nodded and motioned for him to join you on the floor where you were sitting. You would always sit on the floor when you needed to think hard about something. The two of you sat there for a long time in silence. There was a weird tension that you couldn’t really describe. But the pair of you continued to catch each other's eyes and then quickly look away. The Ganger!Doctor began patting his knees with his hands anxiously.

“I’m not really him, you know.” The Ganger!Doctor suddenly spoke up quietly, with his voice tinted with sadness.

“What do you mean?” You finally looked into The Ganger!Doctor’s eyes for longer than a couple of seconds.

“I have all of The Doctor’s memories and I obviously look like him, but I’m my own person with my own thoughts and opinions. I don’t see you the same way he does.” You could see how sad he was and how much he just wanted to be seen as himself.

“I’m sorry for assuming that you were, especially after the events of Saint John’s Base. I guess it was just the shock of everything.” The Ganger!Doctor nodded at your statement, but you could see how solemn he still was.

“I’ll try to be better.” You tried to smile, but it was still bittersweet. So, you reached out to hold The Ganger!Doctor’s hand. He squeezed your hand tightly as if he was shocked that you were actually touching him and worried that you would let go too soon.

“I don’t want you to be better, I just want you to be yourself.” You nodded in understanding and both of you fell back into silence, but you continued to hold each other's hands.

“What do you want to be called?” You asked suddenly. The Ganger!Doctor quirked his head to the side in thought and fiddled with his bowtie with his free hand.

“John Smith is a decent name, at least until I come up with a more unique name. Does John Smith sound like a good name to be paired with a Stetson?”

“Yeah, I think it does!” You laughed at his cute question and genuinely smiled at the now John Smith.

“I’ll stick with John Smith then!” He smiled back at you widely causing you to giggle. You really did like seeing him smile so happily.

Far into the night, the pair of you continued to talk and giggle and laugh. You told wide stories about your adventures and you both told interesting facts about yourselves. Unbeknownst to you, The Doctor grinned bittersweetly from your open door frame, happy that you were finally happy and not alone.

You Are More Than Your Failings

Dhawan!Master x Reader

Summary - The Reader comforts The Master after his plans are ruined again.

Warnings - The Master being upset/sad/depressed/self-deprecating, self-harm on The Master’s part (repeated hitting), mentions of canon typical violence

Word Count - 1123

A/n - Gender Neutral Reader. Not Requested. This was totally inspired by a dream I had. It was a great dream that ended up turning batshit, but the part where I was comforting The Master made my heart flutter. I hope that you enjoy this self-indulgent fic!

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The Master failed again. He had spent months on this scheme, and he failed. Just like so many schemes before. Why couldn’t he just win? For once?

The Master tossed his dirty and burnt shirt into a pile of similarly burnt and destroyed shirts. He then removed each other item of clothing that he was wearing and tossed each piece into its own separate pile of burnt and destroyed clothes from past adventures and schemes. He always made a promise to repair his clothes, but he had yet to get around to finishing the said task.

The Master, like today, would just tread off to the bathroom in order to take a long shower after a failed scheme and would forget about repairing his belongings. Now completely unclothed, The Master turned on the shower and waited until it was warm to step inside.

Once he washed all the dirt and soot and grease and blood from his body, The Master let the water cascade down his face. He thought about the day and the scheme and all the ways he failed. The thoughts wouldn’t stop, they just kept flowing like the water of the shower. The Master banged his head against the tile of the bathroom in an attempt to get the thoughts to stop. He tasted salt. He was crying. He hit his head with his fist a couple of times before trying to calm down.

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You woke up to the sound of the shower running. This wasn’t a great sign. If The Master succeeded in his plans, he would usually wake you up to tell you the “good” news. If something went wrong, he would usually stay to himself, hide away in his mind and berate himself. Of course, every after-scheme cooldown was different. The Master knew what he needed. So, if he needed a quiet shower to come down from a successful scheme carried out, you wouldn’t interrupt him, and you would be there if he needed you. However, previous experiences made you wary and cautious of The Master’s possible sensitive emotions.

The Master eventually walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and another tossed around his shoulders. The Master looked over at you, looked away, then did a double take and jumped upon noticing that you were awake and staring at him. You apologised but The Master just waved you off and moved further into the bedroom in order to get dressed. After he was fully dressed, he just stood and stared at one of his wardrobes. He didn’t know what to do now that you were awake and was starting to panic.

You could sense that something was wrong, so you removed yourself from the soft bed. You grabbed an old hoodie to wear over your sleep clothes to stay warm before moving to where The Master stood. You didn’t really need to talk, both of you knew what was going on. The Master looked at you for a moment solemnly, while you caressed his arms and chest before he fell into your embrace. Both of you stood holding each other like that for a moment in silence while you rubbed his back and massaged his scalp until you got an idea.

You pulled back for a moment and told The Master to wait for a second before completely ripping yourself away from The Master's wanting grasp. You grabbed a spare weighted blanket and then pulled The Master along behind you out of your shared bedroom and into the hall of The TARDIS.

“Where are we going, Y/n?” He sounded so sad and defeated. You just wanted to make him feel better.

“You’ll see.”

You smiled to try and give The Master some comfort and you pressed a caring kiss to the back of his hand. You led your partner to the patio of the house that The TARDIS made her outer shell present as. You sat on the large outdoor sofa and wrapped a blanket around yourself. When The Master didn’t join you right away, you spread your legs and patted the sofa between them informing The Master to take a seat there. He slowly and solemnly moved toward you and took a seat between your legs. His back hunched into your stomach.

You wrapped your body, and the weighted blanket, around The Master’s back. He sighed contently. The weight and pressure being placed on his shoulders grounded him and his chaotic mind. You kissed The Master’s shoulders. You spent plenty of time showing love to his shoulder blades, the top of his shoulders, and the top of his spine before kissing up his neck and placing one final kiss on his cheek. You wrapped your arms tighter around him and rest your head against his.

“You are so strong, Master. I am so proud of you. I am always proud of you. I love you so much.”

“You don’t have to do this.” He closed his eyes. You just wanted to help him feel even the tiniest bit better.

“I want to. However, you need me, I want to help you. And you deserve the praise, you always deserve the praise, Master. You are so good and kind to me.”

“You’re the kind one, love.” The Master jolted to face you. You were the one good think he had in his life.

“You need this, I don’t deserve to be praised for doing basic things.”

“I just want you to know that I appreciate you and everything that you have ever done for me. I know that I can be a burden sometimes.”

“You are never a burden, Master.” He only huffed and turned back to look at the Universe in response. You kissed The Master’s cheek and nuzzled into his neck while mumbling praises.

“Do you want to talk about anything?”

“Not yet. I just want to be here with you.”

“Okay. I’ll always be here when you are ready.”

The Master slumped his head against yours and you could feel him telepathically prodding your mind. You let him inside. The Master couldn’t properly form the care and the appreciation he had for you into words without being self-deprecating, so he just wanted you to feel his unadulterated emotions. You felt his love, his thanks, his promises to return the favour, his hope for happiness, and his calmness from being in your arms. You felt it all. You felt all he had to offer you.

You kissed The Master all over again and held him so tightly. The two of you stayed like that for what felt like hours, just watching the Universe unfold before you while comforting and loving each other through everything that was thrown your way.

I’m Not Him

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You Are More Than Your Failings

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