I Don't Want A Fancy Grave, But If I Got One, I'd Want My Tombstone To Be A Realistic, Life-sized Statue

I don't want a fancy grave, but if I got one, I'd want my tombstone to be a realistic, life-sized statue of me. Not in any particular position, but the key feature of it is that it doesn't have a head. My comical goose neck just ends in a perfectly even, stable platter, whereupon anyone who visits the grave can place whatever object they think would be funny to put there to be my head.

Make it the city's longest ongoing joke, people visiting the grave and sharing on social media whatever my head currently is. Usually it's a seasonal fruit, or something goofy. Sometimes in the winter it's just a snowball, made into a snowman's head. One year a particularly brave or stupid bird couple makes a nest there. Nobody dares to disturb that one for a long while, but once it's clear the birds are gone, the empty nest is gone one day, replaced with the kettle part of a broken electric kettle.

Most people don't know, remember or care whose grave this originally even was. It's just the Headless Man of the Cemetery, whose head is frequently replaced with a completely new and random piece of nonsense, in death just like it was in life.

More Posts from Harry-potter-scary-o and Others

No way! She's got no socks on.

Wondermint Thinks These Flowers Look Out Of This World!

Wondermint thinks these flowers look out of this world!

Finally some good knowledge

nobody warns you this but addiction happens without you noticing and one of the first things that it attacks is your ability to care. if you find yourself using recreational drugs every day, stop and take one day a week sober. if you struggle with this or if you don't see the point of the exercise, you are likely already addicted and you need help.

I’m Just Going To Leave This Here…

I’m just going to leave this here…

2 years ago

Technically it's Codexful Backpack

things i always keep in my backpack: 

the bible (king james edition)

a copy of the U.S. consitution

a copy of my school’s current rulebook

i do this so that whenever someone at school tries to make a point and then defends it by saying ‘it’s in the constitution!’ or ‘it’s from the bible!’ or something else along those lines, i can pull out my own copy and say, ‘where exactly does it say that?’

also it’s just great to confuse people by pulling a fucking book of school rules out of nowhere in order to discuss what qualifies as a dresscode violation.

2 years ago

U ever just feel like u can't fall asleep until some magical unknown requirement is fulfilled so u just end up doom scrolling for hours trying to figure out what it is?

2 years ago

Yet another reminder that faking is a conscious choice that you make.

It is not something you can do accidentally, regards of what you're talking about.

You can't accidentally fake depression, or anxiety, or bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia, or any other mental illness.

You can't accidentally fake Borderline Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder, personality disorders.

You can't accidentally fake ADHD, autism, Tourette's Syndrome, auditory processing disorder, aphasia or any other neurodivergence

You can't accidentally fake being trans or ace-spec or aro-spec or any other LGBTQIA+ identity.

You can't accidentally fake chronic illnesses like CFS, fibromyalgia or any chronic illness.

You also can't accidentally fake being good/intelligent at something. You didn't fool your peers into reaching your position.

You can't accidentally fake trauma, PTSD/cPTSD, DID/OSDD/DDNOS or any other trauma-based disorder.

Tldr:

Faking is a conscious choice.

You cannot do it by accident.

If you are worried that you are faking, that in itself is proof that you are not.


Tags
2 years ago

Am I getting creepy? How would I know?? I care about them too much to scare them accidentally away! They are calling on the phone now. Right now! What if it's a crush and they secretly know it too?

#accidentally ghosts them for 6 weeks

harry-potter-scary-o - mechanic-halfling
2 years ago

In latest news the guy known as yours truly randomly blurted out "I imagined life with you" with no context to his friend causing a lot of embarrassment and confusion, especially from the friend's fiancé.

Yours truly shall now do his best not to bury his head in the sand for foreseeable future.


Tags
Loading...
End of content
No more pages to load
  • dreamycatchy
    dreamycatchy liked this · 4 months ago
  • hipsterurl
    hipsterurl liked this · 1 year ago
  • surpris3summer
    surpris3summer liked this · 1 year ago
  • chosenofyffre
    chosenofyffre reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • fromthedeskofcripslock
    fromthedeskofcripslock liked this · 1 year ago
  • themoogleexorcist
    themoogleexorcist liked this · 1 year ago
  • kaspbrakeddie
    kaspbrakeddie liked this · 1 year ago
  • rici-chan
    rici-chan reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • books-n-pickles
    books-n-pickles liked this · 1 year ago
  • insaneinsan101
    insaneinsan101 liked this · 1 year ago
  • mays-post-holding
    mays-post-holding reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • butterflybooks
    butterflybooks reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • butterflybooks
    butterflybooks liked this · 1 year ago
  • prongsrulestheworld
    prongsrulestheworld reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • batbootie
    batbootie reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • amazinmango
    amazinmango reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • amazinmango
    amazinmango liked this · 1 year ago
  • stillknowntobequitevexxing
    stillknowntobequitevexxing reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • stillknowntobequitevexxing
    stillknowntobequitevexxing liked this · 1 year ago
  • xieliansbignaturals
    xieliansbignaturals liked this · 1 year ago
  • alphabetsouppredictsyourdoom
    alphabetsouppredictsyourdoom liked this · 1 year ago
  • magic-gps
    magic-gps liked this · 1 year ago
  • one-lost-at-sea
    one-lost-at-sea reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • mrswhozeewhatsis
    mrswhozeewhatsis reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • mrswhozeewhatsis
    mrswhozeewhatsis liked this · 1 year ago
  • lady-karasu
    lady-karasu liked this · 1 year ago
  • general-katy
    general-katy liked this · 1 year ago
  • addahdraggon
    addahdraggon reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • addahdraggon
    addahdraggon liked this · 1 year ago
  • captain-daryn
    captain-daryn liked this · 1 year ago
  • aro-as-in-straight-as-a
    aro-as-in-straight-as-a reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • aro-as-in-straight-as-a
    aro-as-in-straight-as-a liked this · 1 year ago
  • anyawen
    anyawen liked this · 1 year ago
  • seeingteacupsindragons
    seeingteacupsindragons liked this · 1 year ago
  • enoliel
    enoliel reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • girlfriendsofthegalaxy
    girlfriendsofthegalaxy liked this · 1 year ago
  • vespasiana
    vespasiana liked this · 1 year ago
  • brightstarflower
    brightstarflower reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • patronsaintofflutes
    patronsaintofflutes reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • patronsaintofflutes
    patronsaintofflutes liked this · 1 year ago
  • needs2reblog
    needs2reblog reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • bururaven
    bururaven reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • bururaven
    bururaven liked this · 1 year ago
  • bendingsignpost
    bendingsignpost reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • shikonneko
    shikonneko reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • chosenofyffre
    chosenofyffre liked this · 1 year ago
  • escapismurmom
    escapismurmom liked this · 1 year ago
  • shikonneko
    shikonneko liked this · 1 year ago
  • mallk-z
    mallk-z liked this · 1 year ago
harry-potter-scary-o - mechanic-halfling
mechanic-halfling

this man will accept any harmful interference this man will not generate harmful interference this man is tested and proven to not spontaneously combust under normal conditions (surface of the ☀️)

162 posts

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags