Don't U Just Love It When Joshua Does That. That Thing . You Know With The Lips And The Cheekies And

adore u

seungcheol x fem!reader

summary: crushing on seungcheol was a really bad idea. sleeping with him, no strings attached, was even worse. and yet...

Tags: ons/fwb to lovers, suggestive, a little fluff, a little angst, best friend!seungkwan; warnings: alcohol consumption; word count: ~4,6k

a/n: i started this ages ago tbh and then didn't rlly know how to end it so it sat in my drafts for a rlly long time but i finally got around to finishing it~

Masterlist

You hadn’t intended for the evening to go like this. It was meant to be nothing but a chill evening with your best friend Seungkwan. But maybe everything had been doomed from the moment he had told you that some of his friends would be coming too. Not that you didn’t like them. You did, one of them just a little bit too much—and that was the whole problem. Despite knowing Seungcheol would never be serious about someone like you, you couldn’t help yourself from being attracted to him. There was just something so charming about the way he looked at you that made your heart flutter. 

“So, when are the other guys coming?” you asked, lounging on his couch, leaning against the headrest. You thought you sounded casual, but your friend had you all figured out.

“Are you asking about the other guys or just one guy in particular?” He looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

“What?” You stared back with wide eyes, the clattering coming from the hallway going completely past you.

“Ah, so we’re still pretending that you don’t have a crush on Scoups?”

"I don't have a crush on him! He's just—attractive!”

"Who's attractive?"

Your head snapped around to Hoshi poking his head into the room, while toeing out of his shoes. But worse than Hoshi looking at you with curiosity, was Seungcheol, standing right there in the doorframe, a big box with snacks and drinks in his hands.

"Who's attractive?" Hoshi asked again, making his way into the room.

You rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the heat that had risen to your cheeks. "No one."

When your gaze flickered over to Seungcheol there was a smug gleam in his eyes.

"Boring," Hoshi pouted, before making his way through the room to the kitchen, a second box in his arms. "You coming, Cheol?"

"Sure," he replied, his eyes still lingering on you. And then he chuckled. He fucking chuckled. You wanted to disappear on the spot. There was no doubt in your head that he'd heard you.

He didn’t let on though, not in a way others would notice. But you were hyper aware of every little move he made throughout the evening. He wasn’t even sitting close to you, nor did you really talk much, but he still had you on edge with the smug glances he threw you from time to time.

When you couldn’t endure his eyes on you for even a second longer, you excused yourself to the bathroom, not bothering to close the door behind you. After all, you just wanted to splash some water in your face to hopefully cool down a bit. But it seemed that had been a mistake.

"So, you think I'm attractive?" A familiar voice suddenly rang from right behind you.

You swallowed around the lump in your throat before you dared to look up, your eyes meeting Seungcheol’s through the mirror.

"No, I—that was just objectively speaking—"

A laugh slipped past his lips at the way you were fumbling for words. He stepped a little closer, his breath tickling your ears when he spoke up again. 

“I’m objectively attractive?”

“You’re twisting my words.”

"I’m not. Just be honest with me."

A shudder ran down your spine and you felt flustered, your voice shaking a little despite your best efforts to sound tough.

“Why are you making such a big deal of it anyway?”

“Hm, good question. ” he hummed in response, hesitating for a moment before he added, “Maybe I like it.” 

“Like what?”

He huffed a laugh. “You.”

You knew that he didn’t mean it the way you did—he clearly just liked the idea of you in his bed. You knew that—and yet your heart was racing in your chest, excited by the thought that he liked you, in whichever way.

When you didn’t reply and just kept staring at him through the mirror he leaned in even more, his nose nudging against the spot behind your ear, his eyes wandering between the you in front of him and the you in the mirror. “So,” he started again, “what do you think?”

“Me too,” you replied against your better knowledge. This was nothing but trouble, all of this was just a game to him. But you couldn't resist. “I like it.”

He hummed contently, the vibrations sending shivers down your spine. "That's a good girl."

His hands found your hips to turn you around, your face mere inches from his, and his gaze fixed on your lips.

God, you wanted this so badly. Still, a small voice of reason was fighting for attention inside your mind.

“Isn’t this a bad idea?” it made you ask, even though you already knew the answer yourself.

“I think it’s the best idea I’ve had in a while,” he replied with a smug smile. “Don’t you agree?”

No.

“Yes.”

Seungcheol couldn’t help the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, before pushing in and closing the gap between the two of you. At first it was just a gentle brush of his lips against yours, tentatively, questioningly; but when you leaned into the kiss he cupped your jaw and pulled you closer. 

Surely this would end badly for you. Seungcheol wasn’t the type of guy who did relationships and you weren’t the best at separating your body and heart. But just for tonight you wanted to indulge. Who knew if  the opportunity would arise  again.

When you woke up the next morning, you found yourself tugged into an unfamiliar bed, a strong arm wrapped tightly around your waist. You couldn’t exactly recall how you’d gotten there, but what you did recall was what had happened once you’d arrived. You remembered the way his hands felt against your skin, the way his lips had explored your body, the way he’d looked at you. There’d been something hungry in his eyes. But somehow he’d also made you feel precious, like something that should be treasured. You knew you were absolutely fucked. 

His arm was still wrapped around you, holding you close but you already felt like crying. When you stirred, trying to free yourself from his grasp he groaned in protest, pulling you closer. 

“I have to get up,” you complained.

“Mhm-hm.” You felt him shaking his head before nuzzling into your neck. “Don’t.”

“Seungcheol, please,” your voice quivered but you hoped he didn’t notice in his sleepy state.

“Why?” 

All of this was really bad for your heart. With the way he behaved you could almost delude yourself into believing this was more than just a one night stand, that maybe his like had meant something more after all.

“I have to work,” you lied. It was a weak lie, he knew you were off on sundays, but he loosened his grip anyway.

You freed yourself from his embrace and got up, hastily picking up your clothes from the floor so you could exchange them for the loose shirt Seungcheol had given you to sleep in. All the while, he was watching you from the bed, his head propped up on one hand.

“Are you coming back?”

“What?” You turned around to him, your shirt and pants clutched to your chest.

“Are you coming back?” He simply repeated.

You had a rough idea what he was implying. But how were you supposed to survive some kind of friends with benefits arrangement with the guy you’d been crushing on for months now?

"Let's just forget about this. It did not happen."

Seungcheol looked at you, an unreadable expression on his face that quickly turned into a cute pout. 

"Well then it can not happen again, right?" 

You wanted to say no and reinforce that it really wouldn’t, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. So, instead, you just disappeared to the bathroom where you hastily slipped into your clothes to escape his flat as quickly as possible. Maybe you’d be able to leave while he was still snuggled up in bed if you were quick enough.

But when you left the bathroom you heard clattering from the kitchen.

“I’m leaving,” you shouted into the hallway, because your manners forbade you from just rushing out even in this situation.

Seungcheol immediately poked his head out of the kitchen, the same pout on his lips again. 

“You’re not even having a coffee?”

“Work. I told you.”

“Fine,” he replied but the pout didn’t disappear.

He walked you to the door, waiting patiently while you put on your shoes and coat, and then opened the door for you.

You felt awkward as you walked past him. “Uh, I guess I’ll see you around?”

“You can also call me, you know?” He reached out for your hand, just briefly holding onto it before letting go again. “Call me.”

You didn’t call him. You knew you wouldn’t call him the second you left his apartment and walked your sorry self to the bus stop. To say you regretted your decision from the night before was an understatement. Having an unrequited crush had been painful even before this. But now that you knew what it felt like to be held by him, now that you knew how gentle his hands could be and how he looked when he’d only just woken up—how were you supposed to ever get over it?

It was stupid to waste any tears on this, it was your own fault after all. But you did anyway, sitting at the bus stop crying until your bus arrived and then crying some more once you’d gotten home.

Avoiding Seungcheol seemed to be the best solution for now, just until your heart had recovered a little. But that was easier said than done. Your social circles were so closely intertwined that it was hard to avoid him without making it obvious. And while you didn’t want to see him, you also didn’t want to appear like some heartbroken loser who cried over a one-night stand (even if you did).

Before long you were sitting in Seungkwan's living room again, squeezed on the couch between a slightly drunk Wonwoo and an infinitely drunker Hoshi, while Seungcheol kept eyeing  you from the other side of the room. He didn't even try to be subtle about it and it drove you insane. You tried to avoid his gaze as best as you could but your rebellious eyes kept wandering back to him anyway. It wasn’t your fault he was looking so cute today, with a pair of round glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose and his dark tousled hair falling into his forehead, almost hiding the way his eyebrows were slightly pulled together.

“Should I get you a new drink?” Wonwoo pulled you out of your trance, gesturing to the empty cup in your hand.

“Huh? Ah, no thank you, I’ll go.” 

You took this chance to escape to the kitchen, hoping to get a moment of peace and collect your thoughts. You should have known better though. Leaving the room hadn’t worked last time, what had made you think it would now?

“You didn’t call me.” 

Seungcheol looked at you with the same pout he’d already given you one too many times.

You shrugged. “Guess not.”

“Why not?”

“Does it matter?” 

“It does.”

“Come on, Cheol, don’t pretend to be bothered by this.” You grabbed one of the liquor bottles, struggling to open it. Before you could give up in frustration, Suengcheol took the bottle out of your hands and opened it for you.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Instead of handing the bottle back to you, he poured some into your cup, reaching for soda next.

“I prefer—”

“Orange, I know.” He mixed your drink, just the way you liked it, as if he’d done it a thousand times before. “So why didn’t you call?”

You huffed a laugh. “I’m just not cut out for this kinda thing. I don’t fancy getting hurt.”

"You were the one that practically bolted out of my apartment the next morning and then didn’t even call. Shouldn't I be the one who's hurt?" He didn’t meet your eyes when he said it, instead focused on refilling his own cup.

"As if you’d get hurt over someone like me."

Seungcheol raised an eyebrow and you knew what he was going to say: What do you mean ‘someone like you’? But you weren’t up for a serious conversation now. And it wasn’t like he’d understand.

“Besides,” you quickly tried to steer the conversation away. “Didn't we agree to forget about all that?”

“I agreed to nothing of the sort. Why would I agree to something stupid like that?” 

“Because we—it was a one-time thing! A bad idea!”

“A bad idea?” He cocked his head. “That’s not what you said last time, Princess.”

Caught off guard by the nickname, you felt your face flush with heat. “Don’t call me that,” you snapped but it didn’t sound very convincing.

“What, Princess? Hmm.” He stepped a little closer, a thoughtful look on his face. “I thought it suited you.”

You automatically took a step back and as a result stumbled into the sharp edge of the kitchen counter. It wasn’t too painful, but you still winced.

Seungcheol chuckled. “Maybe klutz would be more fitting after all?” He sneaked his arm around your waist, his hand covering the edge so you wouldn’t bump into it again. “Or bumpkin?”

“I’m not a klutz,” you choked out, trying your best to ignore your racing heart, overwhelmed by the proximity.

“It’s cute though.”

“Stop teasing me, Seungcheol.” You looked at him with a frown. He huffed a laugh at your complaint.

“Funny, I could have sworn you were into that.”

Heat crept up your neck to the tips of your ears. But before you could retort anything, the two of you got interrupted.

“Uh,” Wonwoo eyed you from the doorway. “Sorry—just—y/n was taking a really long time in the kitchen so I thought I’d check…” He trailed off, his eyes wandering between the two of you.

“Actually,” Seungcheol said with a casual tone, putting a little distance between the two of you. “I’m getting a little tired and was just about to offer y/n a ride home since she’s a little drunk already. Even ran into the counter, the poor thing.” 

“It wasn’t that bad. I’m not drunk.”

“So I shouldn’t drive you home?”

“Huh?” Your head snapped around to him in surprise, only now registering his offer. “Didn’t you drink?”

“It’s soda,” he held out his cup for you as if to prove his point. “But it’s fine if you want to stay, I’m just asking since I’m leaving anyway.”

Wonwoo was still looking at you from where he stood in the doorway in slight confusion. “So I assume you’re fine?” He searched your face for a confirmation of sorts.

“Yes, I’m fine.”

“Okay, then. I’ll leave you to it.” With that he returned to the living room, you and Seungcheol once again alone.

“So?” He raised an eyebrow.

“What?”

“Should I take you home?”

It was stupid, really. Both of you knew that you weren’t drunk. And even then, this was literally your best friend’s house. Seungkwan would let you stay over anytime. 

You swallowed. “Okay?”

“Is that a question?”

“No. Take me home.”

Once is a mistake, they say. Twice is a choice. 

And yet, you found yourself in Seungcheol’s bed again, his hands all over your body. He was unbearably sweet with you, from the way he cupped your face when he kissed you to the pretty little lies he whispered.

“I want you,” he mumbled into your bare skin. “You have no idea how badly I want you.” 

It made your heart race but it made it ache too. What he wanted wasn’t you, it was only this: your body in his bed.

“Me too,” you replied anyway, and the smile it put on his face, dimple showing and all, was so adorable you almost wanted to cry on the spot.

“You do, don’t you?” He repeated, more of a confirmation for himself rather than a question to you. 

You didn’t want to think about it, but an evil little voice wondered if he treated others this sweetly too, if he was just as happy to be wanted by others.

“Are you always like this?” you asked before you could stop yourself.

“Always?” Seungcheol didn’t seem to get the meaning behind the question, his expression not dimming one bit as he left little kisses on the corners of your lips before traveling down to your neck and collar bones. “What’s always?”

“I don’t know,” you sighed into the sensation, not willing to sacrifice this moment to your dumb jealousy. “Forget it.”

He chuckled into the crook of your neck. “You love telling me to forget, don’t you?”

“Maybe.”

Stirring awake the next morning, you were met with round eyes looking at you. They lit up with a smile when Seungcheol noticed you were awake. 

“Hey.” His voice was still raspy with sleep.

“Hey.”

“You don’t work today, right?”

“It’s Sunday.”

“It was Sunday last time.”

You nodded slowly, realizing you had exposed your own lie. “Right. But no work today.”

“Good.” He nuzzled closer, burying his nose in the crook of your neck. “Then we can stay in bed a little longer.”

You let him cuddle up to you, soaking in the way it felt to have him close to you and ignoring how much it would hurt to let go later on.

After what felt like hours just cozily spent in bed, you started to get hungry. You didn’t want to say anything nor did you want to leave, so you decided to just endure the feeling for a little longer. Your stomach sadly didn’t agree with that plan though.  It promptly started to rumble and of course Seungcheol had to hear it, too. 

“We should make breakfast,” he said, peeling himself off you with a cheeky grin. “Can’t have my clumsy bumpkin starving to death, can I?”

The fact he’d called you his let you completely forget the fact he was teasing you again. It just felt so good, so much like what you’d thought it would be like to be his in all your stupid dreams and delusions. Even more so, when he placed a kiss on your forehead and pulled you out of bed. You sat at his kitchen counter while he made coffee and toast and everything about it seemed just as if you were dating. As if you were in love.

After a breakfast that took way longer than it needed to, you decided it was time to go, despite his insistence on you staying longer. He saw you to the door again, pulling you back to him before you could leave for good.

“When I ask you to call me—” His eyes were on yours, intently watching your reaction. “Will you do it this time?”

You swallowed around the lump in your throat. This is where you should have drawn the line. But you didn’t.

“Yeah.”

You didn’t just let the mistake become a choice. No, it ended up as a habit. And how could it not, when Seungcheol treated you so well? 

You texted him that you got home that day and Seungcheol took it as the OK to message you more frequently. He sometimes asked you about your day or told you about his and it did nothing to prevent you from growing more delusional about all of this. Mostly though he invited you over. You spent more weekends at his place than not, holing up in his bedroom until Monday rolled around and reality had you back.

The little arrangement between you and Seungcheol wasn’t exactly a secret. You hadn’t told anyone but it was clear that some of your friends suspected something—and of course they did, you left two parties together. And that didn’t even take into account that Wonwoo had somewhat caught you in the kitchen, though you doubted that he would tattle to anyone.

But despite the suspicions that some of your friends were bound to have, no one really said anything about it. You knew Seungkwan wanted to talk to you about it, but he seemed to always bite his tongue. In a way you were grateful for that. What was he going to say? That it wasn’t a good idea? That you’d end up getting hurt because Seungcheol wasn’t the type to settle down? You already knew all that. You didn’t need anyone to tell you.

While Seungkwan and such seemed to be in the know, others were completely oblivious about it. At least Chan was.

You were all sitting together in Hoshi and Woozi’s living room, drinking and playing games the way you always did. You tried to stay sober though—while Seungcheol and you hadn’t arrived together he did offer to take you back with him, and you didn’t want to be the only one between the two of you to be drunk. Thinking about it, you wondered if Seungcheol had sat out on drinking this often before, or if him staying sober to drive was a recent development. You didn’t get to philosophize about it for too long though, because Chan plopped down on the couch next to you, clearly feeling tipsy already. He had a wide smile plastered on his face as he nudged you in the side to get your attention.

“Hey, y/n,” he whispered loudly, the way drunk people do.

“Mhm?”

His smile grew even wider. “Wanna know a secret?”

“Sure.”

“But you can’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t.”

“Promise?” He held out his pinky finger to you.

You intertwined your fingers. “Promise.”

“I heaaard,” he playfully drew out the word in an attempt to create suspense. “Seungcheol is dating someone.”

It took a moment for his words to register, but when they did you felt sick to your stomach. 

“What?”

“I know, right?” Chan giggled. “Never thought he’d settle with someone but he seems serious. Or so I heard, he didn’t tell me personally so shhh,” he dramatically pressed his index finger to his lips.

“Who is it?”

“Mmmmh,” he looked thoughtful. “Probably someone from his classes?”

You nodded. Not because you understood—you clearly didn’t understand any of this at all—but because you were at a loss of how else to respond to this.

You should have known better. You had known better. Seungcheol would never be yours. But you just couldn’t stop yourself, you just had to indulge in the illusion. And now you were paying the price.

With a shaky voice you excused yourself, telling Chan you were going outside for a bit. Your vision was already blurry with tears when you stumbled to the door, taking in a deep breath of the cool air once you were outside.

How long was it going on already? Was he serious about them? Was he ever going to tell you? Of course you couldn’t expect him to be faithful—you weren’t even dating so what was there to be faithful about? But you were sleeping with him. Shouldn’t he at least tell you if he was sleeping with others, too? And shouldn’t he be faithful to whoever it was that he was dating?

You leaned against the cold house wall, trying and failing to keep your composure. No one was outside at this time, the street empty and dark, but you still felt incredibly exposed as you stood there, tears running down your face.

The muted music and chatter of the party could be heard coming from inside and it only made you feel worse. For a moment it grew louder and then there was the thud of the front door closing.

Your head snapped around just to be faced with the one person you didn’t want to see right now.

“I thought—” Seungcheol started, but when he saw you were crying he interrupted himself, his whole posture changing as he rushed over to you. “Y/n, what’s wrong?”

With a worried frown he reached out to cup your face, but you evaded the gesture, shooting him a defiant glare that probably looked way more pathetic than you would have liked, with your puffy cheeks and red eyes. 

“Nothing, really.”

“This doesn’t look like nothing.” His eyebrows drew together even further. 

“Just, you know,” you shrugged. "I should have known better than to get involved with someone like you."

Seungcheol eyed you, confused but also clearly offended. "Someone like me?"

"Oh, come on, you know exactly what I mean. Someone popular with a zillion friends and all that. Someone like you could never be serious about me." Your voice was hoarse from crying, taking away some of the heat in your words. But it was still enough to make Seungcheol angry.

"What are you even talking about? Our friends are literally the same and—” he let out an exasperated sigh, as if he was at a loss of words. “You know, you should really work on that inferiority complex of yours. It's not cute."

That stung. Maybe because you didn’t expect him to say such harsh words, or maybe because he was right, you did feel inferior, as if you weren’t good enough for him. 

“Whatever,” you pressed out, your voice shaky as a flood of new tears welled up in your eyes. “Not like it matters, since you found someone better than me anyway.”

His expression softened a little, unable to keep being angry when you were standing in front of him like a sobbing mess. When he reached out his hand this time, you didn’t back away and let him wipe away your tears with his thumb. 

“What are you talking about?” He asked, his voice confused but gente.

“I already heard it all,” you sniffed. “You’re seeing someone. Chan told me and he had it from—he didn’t tell me. But either way, I already know that you’re seeing someone,” you rubbed at your eyes with the back of your hand, “so we can stop this game already.”

“A game?” Seungcheol whispered, “Is it really just a game?”

“Isn’t it?”

“Would you be crying like this if it was?”

You shrugged. “Does it even matter? You’re seeing—”

“You,” Seungcheol interrupted. “I was talking about you.”

“Me?” You met his gaze in confusion. “But Chan didn’t say that.”

He huffed a laugh. “Because I didn’t tell anyone. I wasn’t sure if you would have been okay with that. I didn’t want to say anything at all before checking in with you, but it just kinda slipped…” He trailed off, rubbing the back of his head bashfully. “Either way. It was you, it was always you.”

“What’s always?”

“Always. Ever since I met you.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not.”

“But you’re,” you shrugged helplessly, “Seungcheol.”

“And you’re you. And I adore you. ” 

He smiled as he reached out his other hand too, cupping your face and brushing away any tears that were still clinging to your cheeks. “So, no more crying, hm?”

“No promises.” You sniffed again, but there was a small smile tugging on your lips too.

Seungcheol chuckled and pulled you into his chest, your arms naturally wrapping around his waist as he held you.

“So,” he started after a while, “if any of the guys were to ask who I’m seeing—” he let the sentence hang in the air, a playful tone in his voice.

“Then you can tell them it’s me,” you offered sheepishly.

He pulled away to meet your gaze. “And would it be true?”

“Yeah. It would be. Wouldn’t it?”

His face lit up with the smile you loved so much. “It would be.”

Masterlist

JEONGHAN God of Music MV Behind

evil infodumping where you just tell lies

S.COUPS '그리워하는 것까지' ❖ Power of Love Concert　

me when i'm the prettiest man alive

AMOURCHEOL AGAIN????!!!

paris (teaser)

❝You and Jeonghan, jazz-filled corners, hidden history, and the city of love.❞

historical! au | exes to lovers! au | angst, fluff, smut | approx. 45k words (teaser wc. 1.4k words)

s u m m a r y : disgraced by hollywood for the last time, you, a once superstar-turned-alcoholic, escape to the city of love to seek sanctuary from the ruthless tabloids. your sanctuary comes in the form of film noir superstar yoon jeonghan, the enigmatic man who taught you the art of acting, lust and love before your fame. when he asks to meet you once, just like old times, you cannot refuse. what is meant to be a simple date turns into a path of passion, pain and everything that comes with fooling around with your ex in the jazz-filled corners of paris.

c o n t e n t s : actor! mc, actor! jeonghan, mc is incredibly bitter and makes bad decisions, agent! seungkwan who is tired of fixing them, jeonghan is the suavest, sultriest mf, mentions of parisian landmarks in this fic, also a bit of french peppered throughout, greek mythology art references, tons of fluff which is also layered with angst, this will be very hurt-comfort, hella ansgty but will have a happy ending mature warnings -> alcohol consumption and abuse, smoking, this is basically sexual tension with plot, slightly drunk making out, oral sex (f. receiving) unprotected sex (refer point to bad decisions), very soft angsty sex, body worshipping, petnames (chérie, mon ange, darling, angel), overall emotional rollercoaster, more tba!

p l a y l i s t : here!

t a g l i s t : @hyuckworld​ (let me know if y’all want to be tagged!)

a u t h o r ’ s  n o t e : after three years … four rewritings later… she may finally see the light … i am releasing the teaser now but will post the fic when i’m back from holiday! i hope you all enjoy the lil extract <3

SHIT. YOU COULD NOT DO THIS TODAY.

Suddenly, you wished he was a mere figment of your imagination, because then he would not have to see you in your drunken, disordered state, looking for art that was not there, looking for the past in the present.

But then he began to move.

This very real presence walked closer to you, and you felt your entire body constricting, because Yoon Jeonghan was in front of you, the greatest star in the world was approaching you, the man of your distant memories was coming too close.

Keep reading

i love the pained nostalgic feel between the reader and mingyu...so excited for when this comes out!

the very first night — preview

the search for a new place to live takes a turn for the worse when the only person willing to split rent with you is your ex-boyfriend.

pairing: kim mingyu x female reader

genre: exes to lovers, roommates au + romance, angst, smut

preview word count: 761 (estimated: 10k+)

preview warnings: none

Maybe talking to Mingyu is a bad idea. 

Maybe you should go back to your old ways, locking yourself up in your room and only acknowledging his presence when you happen to cross paths. 

But the socialite in you nags, what if he thinks you’re some kind of hermit who only comes out to eat and drink? Besides, he’s here now, right next to you on the sofa—keeping a respectable distance between your bodies—as he watches a rerun of America’s Next Top Model because it was the least shitty thing playing on all the channels you scrounged through fifteen minutes ago. 

Normally, you would be elated at the idea of poking fun at random reality shows, expressing your exasperation at the poorly-written scripted drama and the even worse acting. But even if the showoff between two aspiring models both named Jessica and sporting the same colour of fake tan and bleached blonde hair was somewhat interesting, you find your gaze keeps wandering to your ex-boyfriend.

You trace the contours of his face with your eyes—the cheekbones that jut out only slightly, the furrow created on his forehead as his eyebrows kiss, the way his honey-brown eyes stare at the screen in front of him with a focused intensity. Even the way his lips curve ever-so slightly upwards, despite him pressing them together, has you recalling just how soft they felt against your own. 

His warm, soft skin. The prominent collarbone that you used to press small kisses to whenever you wanted to get his attention. The moles scattered all over his body, creating a canvas for you to paint on by tracing them with your fingers. The flex of his fingers as he bunches them into a loose fist.

Everything about him is so familiar, yet so foreign at the same time.

Even this semblance of friendship that has bridged the drawn-out distance between you both feels strange–as though somewhere in the back of your subconscious, you recognise that this camaraderie is either a really good thing or could go extremely wrong. You’re in the middle of that bridge, trying your best not to lean too much to the right or to the left, but even a slight misstep could lead to everything going downhill.

“Are you rooting for Jessice H. or Jessica C.?”

“Huh?” You blink, escaping your haze of thoughts. “I’m sorry—which one is which?”

Mingyu glances at you with a deadpan expression. “We’ve been watching them trying to one up each other for the past ten minutes.”

“Sorry.” You smile sheepishly. “Both of them look the same to me.”

“Fair enough,” he acquiesces, before returning his focus to the show. “It’s the fake tan, isn’t it? Although the hair is similar too… No wonder they’ve been arguing about who put on their mascara better—it looks identical.” 

You play along. “Or maybe it’s the supposed Gucci belts. I had no idea Gucci made handbags with fake crocodile skin.”

“The more you know…”

You laugh at that, and Mingyu looks at you—really looks, the same way he used to when you made a bad joke and giggled at it yourself. He looks at you with adoration written all over his face, in the upward twist of his lips and the crinkling in the corners of his eyes.

You clamp your mouth shut immediately, feeling a sense of nostalgia, longing and wistfulness seep into your skin, through your flesh and settle deep into your bones. 

Too much. It’s too much, and it’s way too early, and you don’t want to dwell on anything at the moment. So you do what you do best: You hide.

You tear your gaze off him and rub your palms on your old jeans. You hear Mingyu’s sharp intake of breath, but you force yourself not to look, not to think about him. 

“Hey, uh—I was supposed to call Jihyo right now,” you lie, and even you think it sounds lame coming out of your mouth, so there’s no way Mingyu can’t see through it.

“Y/N,” is all he says. 

You hate the way your chest clenches—just because he said your name—but what can you do? Escape the situation and never bring up the obvious elephant in the room?

Yeah. That’s exactly what you do. Making decisions isn’t your forte, but you’ll deal with the consequences of your actions later. Much, much later, if you can avoid it for as long as you’re living here.

You get up and make a beeline for your room, and Kim Mingyu doesn’t say anything to make you stop.

tag list: @matchahyuck / @minnie-mouser22 (send an ask/comment if you'd like to be tagged in the full fic!)