Eibhlin: There Is No Past, There Is No Future. Do You See? Time Is Simultaneous, An Intricately Structured

Brutus: Great, who are we killing? i won't do kids, that's a rule. But that rule's negotiable if the kid's a dick

Devon: What do you think Petra will do for distraction?

Emory: Probably throw a rock to a window or something else. This is what I would do.

*Building explodes, several alarms going off*

Emory:..Or she can do that.

Luther: What is your biggest weakness?

Five: I can be uncooperative.

Luther: Okay, can you give me an example?

Five: No.

Misha: Why do people who use baby changing stations always come back with the same baby?

Emory: Remind me to never let you babysit for anyone ever.

Mortal Sins

Makes sense-

First thing you see after you zoom in is how you die

How you dying 👀

Ruby: What is a word between sad and mad?

Chubs: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Vida: Smad.

Honestly, same.

Kidnapper: We have your daughter.

Iris: Excuse me? I don't have a daughter...

Kidnapper: Then who is the young woman who threatened the shit out of my men by the extensive vocabulary of hers?

Iris: Oh my God. You have Adessa.

Bunch of incorrect quotes because it's friday and I'm currently releasing an incredible amount of serotonin.

--

Brutus: You killed him.

Petra: *shrugs* He died of natural causes.

Emory: *looks at the corpse* Knife to the neck.

Brutus: I thought you said he died of natural causes.

Petra: There's nothing more natural than dying from a knife to the neck.

Devon: *nods* Yeah, what would be unnatural is if he survived.

--

Callista: Never forget; being 'overdressed' is a concept made up by the people who don't want you to look better than them.

Nero: You're literally wearing an expensive wedding gown covered with blood right now.

Nero: Calli, we are at Lina's funeral.

Callista: And??? It's great metaphor.

--

Lyme: What's that?

Claudius: The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I'm letting them know it's privte information through a letter.

Lyme, looking over Claudius' shoulder" This just says 'fuck around and find out' in calligraphy.

--

Adessa, at 3 am, in the village group chat: Apparently a blue whale's anus can stretch to approximately three and a half feet, making it the second largest asshole on the planet--just behind the Victors who stepped on my rose bushes yet again.

Iris:

Odin:

Hera:

Brutus:

Misha: Morning to you too :)

--

Lyme: Excuse you, I'm an excellent driver.

Nero: You almost ran over Enobaria by accident.

Lyme: Oh.

Lyme: I didn't get her? Damn it!

--

*at a zoo*

Misha: What are they in for?

Emory: This isn't a prison.

Misha: So they can leave whenever they want to.

Emory: Well no, but-

Devon, pointing at a meerkt: I bet that one killed half a dozen.

Misha, trying to jump the fence: I'M JUST LIKE YOU LITTLE GUY!!! I'LL SET YOU FREE.

*people staring*

Emory: ...and this is why we can't have nice Victor-outings.

--

Nero: Is that my sweater?

Enobaria: It used to be.

--

Hera, looking at a broken window: I hope you have an explation for this.

Callista: I have three.

Callista: Pick your favourite.

--

Lyme: *choking*

Claudius: Help! I need to call 911 but the 9 button is not working.

Misha: Just turn it upside down and use the 6!

Claudius: Genius!

Lyme, stops choking momentarily: wHAT THE HELL!?

--

Ronan: I thought of you today.

Snow: How very nice of you.

Ronan: It reminded me to throw out the garbage.

--

And now my old time favourites...

--

Callista: I'm tired.

Nero: Well, you can do the S-word.

Callista: *gasps* You're a genius.

Nero: *realizes his mistake* Calli, no-

Nero: The S-word is sleep.

--

Luna: What's that?

Odin: Adessa just gave me a get well soon card.

Luna: Ah, that's sweet of her.

Odin: I'm not sick, she just thinks I can do better when it comes to politics.

--

Misha: On halloween we dress up as our skeletons, but every other day of the year, out skeletons dresses up like us.

--

Misha: Why do people who use baby changing stations always come back with the same baby?

Emory: Remind me to never let you babysit for anyone ever.

--

Callista: Do you care if I take the skin off this Furby?

Callista: I want to make him an outlier tribute. Once he is free of his fluffy, innocent and ignorant flesh, he may be long time lovers with insanity. He won't dare to leave me like others did.

Hera: I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that ever again.

--