“There’s Someone In My Head But It’s Not Me.”

‘distant’

✯i want it back✯

Feeling blue

hey fellow trauma blogs, usually I don’t directly reach out like this, but something has been on my mind recently and I wanna know if other people experience this.

do you ever... forget that you’re traumatized? I mean yeah it’s hard to forget the event that traumatized you, I know, but do you forget what you experienced ISNT normal? or maybe not even that, you forget that certain event affected you really badly, and when you notice your strange habits or behavior you link it back to that event and remember “oh yeah! it’s because that traumatized me”. do you ever have moment of thinking you’re normal suddenly come crashing down when you remember how badly you were once victimized?

these are things I experience often, and I feel it could put my heart at ease to know others feel like this. it may even help them a little to know that while it’s upsetting it’s happening to them, they aren’t alone in their experience with trauma.

most of the time when I say I can’t remember something, it’s not always that I’m trying to avoid talking about it- I just literally cannot remember. I have no idea how to remember or what to do. sometimes I try to fill the gaps with vague memories- or even small white lies just to get by- and maybe put faith in a life I will probably never remember.

When people suddenly put their hand towards my face,

Like???

Are you gonna hit me? Fix my hair??? Take off a fallen eyelash?

Who knows, but am i going to get scared? Definitely. Cry? Perhaps.