She Asked Me If I Believed In God And I Told Her That When I Was Four I Almost Drowned In A Public Pool

she asked me if i believed in god and i told her that when i was four i almost drowned in a public pool and in my panic mistook a stranger for my father. i clawed my way up his leg. four years later he’d send my parents a picture of the scars alongside a tin of cookies. he said, “i hope she’s still okay. i carry her with me. it isn’t every day you save a life. it isn’t every day you feel like you were here for a reason. when it does happen, you have to cherish that memory. for once, i had a purpose. just being there was enough. she tore me open but she taught me a lot about love.”

More Posts from Grillescheesecats and Others

5 years ago

Hey! I’m H*cking Bored

Reblog to get a doodle of a little animal type thing based on your blog!

So far this will be open until April 10th 2020, but that might change


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5 years ago

Rabbits Rabbits Rabbits

Reblog this on the first of the month for good luck all month long!

4 years ago

let's just stare at each other, with such passion that the moon will hide behind the leaves of the trees and pour her light on us, while we sit on the wooden bench outside the café where we had first met. let's just stare and invite each other to the silence of our lives filled with universes of emotions, because it's in eyes that we see, and it's in eyes that we speak.

4 years ago

“Make yourself so happy so that when others look at you they become happy, too.”

— Yogi Bhajan

2 years ago

when i was 15, i felt like… really deeply DEEPLY uncomfortable with the fact that there were cameras everywhere at my highschool. the sensation of not being able to walk to class without being monitored somehow really fucked with me for some reason.

this only worsened after seeing this segment on the school news that featured various stupid stuff caught on the hallway cameras, like people falling down or readjusting their underwear when they thought the hallways were empty. 

but they werent. there was someone watching, and they forgot to police their behavior and ended up getting embarrassed for it. everyone laughed at this segment. i remember the classroom being filled with snickers as someone fell flat on their face. i wasn’t a “superwoke” kid or anything, but i didnt think this was funny. i thought it was scary. what if that was me? what if i got caught fixing a wedgie on camera without even knowing it? 

i remember these cameras being used for everything – spotting dress code violations, catching students skipping class, etc. you can argue that they shouldnt have broken the rules, sure, but that doesnt excuse the concept of Being Constantly Watched. 

and what about the times when they weren’t doing something wrong? like when they were walking back from the bathroom or tripping over their own feet? did that warrant embarrassment and shame from their watchful spectators? does existing in a school hallway warrant surveillance? 

this brings me to the concept of anti-shooter architecture. there is a rising interest in school layouts that prepare for the possibility of a shooter roaming the halls. these improvements include bulletproof glass, concrete cover, and…. something scary. 

many of these highschool floor plans include some type of circular or central “watch tower” feature, and the designers actively boast about it being a panopticon. a panopticon. the same thing they use in prisons to enforce the idea that the prisoners are always being watched, though they can never really know when. 

what kind of effect will “anti-shooter architecture” have on kid’s minds? the constant threat of violence is already taking its toll on teenagers who have undergone active shooter drills, and this concept of air-tight security (clear backpacks, metal detectors, camera surveillance, constantly locked doors, etc) is not really an environment you would want to raise a child in, so why are we sticking kids in schools like that for 7-8 hours a day?

which leads into the next thing. many people’s solution to this is more guns, which equates to police presence in schools. ive already seen videos coming out of school cops beating black kids and ordering muslim girls to take off their hijabs. but beyond the racism and xenophobia, it’s another (now living) reminder of the unsafe environment these kids find themselves in. another reminder that theyre being watched and their behavior is being judged according to the law, or whatever the cop or teachers find inappropriate. that standing up for themselves or arguing can be taken as hostile and warrant physical intervention. 

police presence on campus grounds is DIRECTLY used to suppress student activism. you know that.i know that. we know that. you remember that photo of the cop spraying a line of peaceful protesters? you remember that cop that tackled a student for holding a sign? you remember the fucking car fuls of kids that were arrested for protesting? 

police are our enemy, but they can be found in plenty of highschools and colleges now. even in elementary schools, where young children are being taught to obey and trust cops. the conditioning is being started young, and if you don’t conform to it, you become a watched enemy on your own campus. 

what kind of affect will this militarization and surveillance in schools and campuses have on future generations? it’s impossible to deny that environment has an effect on development, so what kind of behavior are we encouraging when we educate children & young adults in schools that not only prepare them for violence, but instill them with the idea that they are constantly being watched, monitored, and judged? that they could be victims of gun violence at any time, or that protests are an excuse for police brutality? 

3 years ago

nothing's better than private life

4 years ago

I'm off to fight God does anyone want anything?

4 years ago

if you’re reading this i hope you find the strength to get through whatever it is that’s causing you so much trouble or pain at the moment

4 years ago

soon as she unblocks me the wedding is back on

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grillescheesecats - grill cheese cat
grill cheese cat

hell yeah/ randomness and witchcraft beach/ they,them / 22/ virgo 🌻

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