Im Not Built For This 9-5 Life Im Built For Living In A Gothic Castle As A Vampire

reblog with the last song you listened to in the tags

[MESSAGE FROM THE CLERGY]

We wish to inform you Ghost wishes to grant your depraved desires... Take the Halloween Hymns quiz to receive your own personalized Halloween playlist from Ghost! Happy Halloween to all, and to all a good fright! 👻

dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak

To all my writers who have a tough time with smut terms and not knowing which ones to use, I have found the holy grail for us.

This reddit user took a poll of 3,500 people and went really in depth with asking their favorite terminology, along with actual pie charts on what the readers preferred to see in their smut.

Here's the direct link to the Google doc with all the info!

I love borzoi dogs

They are so long and friend shaped.

person who posted this originally made it unrebloggable so fuck you it’s mine now

Yes! This.

Reminder

18+ means 18+, not “I’m 14 but I don’t get offended by your posts” or “I’m 16 but I’m mature for my age”

// If you’re a minor, get off my page, this isn’t for you //

I wish kinky sex ed wasn't so stigmatized even among left-leaning "sex positive" circles. Everyone's all "uwu I'm a sub I'll do anything you ask" okay mommy wants you to read The New Bottoming Book so you learn how to sub without hurting yourself since your sex ed up to this point is porn and your ex boyfriend Jared who liked to choke you incorrectly

Werewolves.

You agree. Reblog.

[id: a light blue userbox with a pastel pink border, and pastel pink text that reads “this user is a trans boy'” on the left is an image of the trans flag./end id]