Well Then Loki Was Killed Off Because Tom Is Aging The Russos Brothers Said That Tom Is Too Old To Play

You don’t understand, I don’t want any of it anymore. I don’t want happiness or love or success or anything. I need to stop living because that’s the only thing that can make my pain go away. So no, you telling me to wait for good things doesn’t work. Don’t you get it, no matter what happens, it’s always going to hurt.

i want to be untouchably beautiful but i also don’t want to care about how i look. i want to be the top of my class but i also just want to do as best as i can without driving myself to the edge. i want to be floating and ethereal but i want to be solid, dangerous. a mystery that’s open to everybody. a romantic that never falls in love. the bird and the cat both.

“what happened to you made you stronger” 

i was a child. i didn’t need to be strong i needed to be safe

“sometimes I wonder how it would feel to break down. to grab things and smash them to pieces. to scream and show everything I feel inside on the outside instead. and I wonder if it would help. to let go like that. to say, fuck it, and not give a damn whether you’re locked away in some dingy asylum away from all things sane. when you have felt crazy for so long, you wonder why it should matter to finally stop pretending that you were ever okay that you were ever sane or normal that you were ever anything else at all. let. it. breathe. and let them lock you away. let them blot your name from the history books. to finally not exist… perhaps at last you’d feel something close to freedom.”

— broken thoughts

Your abuser can have depression. They can have a variety of disorders. And you know what? It’s never gonna be an excuse for what they did.

"Don't see yourself as a victim"

Oh, I'm sorry, do you think I was a fucking volunteer?

i dont talk anymore. i dont want to. i have nothing to say. i have nothing to contribute to a conversation. words escape me and i dont care that they do. i can go entire days without muttering a word. i just want to be left alone, now. 

Nobody ever talks about how selfless it is to choose, over and over again, to not commit suicide. Nobody ever acknowledges the tremendous sacrifice suicidal people make every time we choose not to kill ourselves. When a person who is suffering so horribly that death seems like their best option decides not to take their one way out, and to instead remain in hell, day after day, month after month, year after year, because they don’t want to hurt the people they love, they are doing something extraordinary. Not killing yourself when it’s all you want to do is the purest act of love I can imagine. Dying for someone is easy - you don’t have to deal with any of the consequences, you have your moment of nobility and then it’s all over. But living for someone, when the simple fact of consciousness is literal torture for you? Every single suicidal person who ever made a choice to not kill themselves in a moment of misery is a goddamn hero in my eyes. Wanting to die and still surviving is an act of titanic courage and self-sacrifice. We deserve more credit for it.