*new Yorker Voice* Bada Bing

Peter: Dad when you and dad got into an argument, did you ever... You know...

Tony: What?

Peter: Have you ever... Stopped having sex with dad in order to win an argument?

Tony: You can do that?

Peter: Yeah, but...

Tony: You mean that if I stop having sex with your father, he'll paint the bathroom?

Peter: Yeah, but aren't you worried about how it can hurt the relationship?

Tony: Blah, blah, blah. I don't care. I'm getting my bathroom painted.

This is some real shit right here

“Money doesn’t buy happiness” ok and poverty buys what exactly

Me during Captain America: civil war

Black panther is awesome

Wanda and Peter need to be protected

Stony is most problematic otp but still otp

Fuck you Steve though really

I ship Wanda and vision this is also otp

POOR CLINT, GIVE THIS MAN A BREAK HONESTLY

nat I respect your decisions

STEVE! That’s your SON, DO NOT HURT HIM!

this is why tony is Peters favorite parent

Please bruce, wherever you are just be happy but come back and bring thor cuz Peter needs protection.

It’s all fun and games until someone gets paralyzed

Oh god tony, my baby I’m SORRY!

I feel that bucky also needs a little love, this is all on Steve.

Steve stop kissing girls. It’s just not you and It’s making hate you more when you hurt tony and bucky and Peter like this.

A friend of mine on FB wrote this and, with their permission, told me that I could share it. I got more than a bit choked up reading it. Enjoy.

I’m 6 years old, and I’m Luke Skywalker, blowing up the Death Star in his X-Wing and using the Force… until I go outside to play Star Wars with the neighborhood kids, and I’m told I can’t be Luke because I’m a girl. I have to be Leia instead. Nothing wrong with Leia, but she’s the girl. She’s my only option, otherwise, I’m not allowed to play.

I’m 7 years old, and I’m She-Ra, with a pegasus and sword and… and no one wants to play She-Ra, because He-Man is better, stupid girl, duh. No boy wants to play a girl character. Duh. Stupid girl.

I’m 8 years old, and I’m Liono, with the Sword of Omens, telling me the future and defeating my enemies… until I can’t, because I’m a girl. I have to be Cheetara, even though I don’t like to run around really fast. She’s the girl. She’s my only option.

I’m 10 years old, and I’m a Ninja Turtle. I have these cool weapons and know martial arts… until I can’t be, because I’m a girl. I have to be April. She doesn’t get to do much, but she’s the girl. She’s my only option. If the other girl wants to play, she gets to be April, and I’m out, because she’s prettier.

I’m 14 years old, and my father yells at me again to stop being such a girl. Stop being weak. Stop being stupid. Stop being you.

I’m 17 years old, and set foot in a comic shop for the first time, only to be told girls don’t read comics. I must just be trying to impress my boyfriend. I don’t even get to ask if they had that book I read part of, with the beautiful woman who was Death, who saved a teenage boy.

I’m 24, and I’m Jean Grey, the powerful Phoenix, but turned into some weird Scarlet Witch hybrid who must die at the hands of Wolverine, because Logan just needed a little more angst.

I’m 28 and I’m Commander Shepard at the helm of the Normandy, but just having the OPTION of a female player character sends hordes of men into a blind rage, intent on stamping out any joy I might derive from this. I have to mute tons of keywords online and play in friends-only groups if I want to avoid being called a cunt for the sin of logging into multiplayer with a female avatar.

I’m 32 and I get a job running a comic shop. I tell my boss I’d like to have ladies nights. He asks, “But when is men’s night?”

I’m 33 and I’m Rey, facing down Kylo and digging deep to survive, despite being terrified. I’ve been fighting my whole life, though, and I manage to get out of it alive. I spend the next 6 months listening to every other guy who comes into my shop informing me that she’s a Mary Sue and how stupid it was to crowbar her in just for the sake of appeasing the females and pandering to feminazis.

I’m 34 and I get to be a Ghostbuster! My heart sings as I dual-wield proton guns, but when the battle’s over, I have to listen to all these guys trash it and talk about how women just aren’t funny and should stop trying.

I’m 34, and I am NOT MCU Black Widow, who categorizes herself as a monster because she can’t have children, who laughs as her male coworkers make rape jokes at the office party. I am NOT MCU Scarlet Witch, who is a problem for the men to deal with, who has to stay home and cook dinner while they take care of business, because she’s just too emotional.

Today, I’m 35, and I’m Diana of Themyscira, striding across a battlefield as everyone follows her lead. I’ve been waiting for this battle my whole life. Going into the movie, I had yet to see a single bad review, from anyone, regardless of gender. I had heard no one saying the movie was pointless or stupid or just another instance of women ruining everything. There is this tall, powerful, beautiful female hero, and no one is acting like it’s their job to tear her down. I look at the trending topics today, and everyone still loves it. The naysayers are a fringe minority. There is valid criticism, as the movie isn’t perfect. It has some problems, but overall, it’s GOOD. Finally. This is what it feels like. So yeah, I cried. I cried a lot. I’ll probably mist up a lot more times when I watch it. Everyone should get to feel like that.

I am the captain of the Titanic. I’m going down with this ship

Multitudes of fans (via ani-mei)

Jeff davis: The sheriff's name is Noah. Teen wolf fandom: tHe shErIfFs NamE iS nOaH.

So my facebook friend just posted this pic with this text….

Well, I just witnessed blatant racial injustice with my own eyes. I was getting in my car after exiting a store when a young black man stumbled past me and collapsed against the store wall. When I got out to see if he was okay, a group of white people came rushing over, one of whom was a 20-something white woman who declared in distress, “I ran a red light and hit him with my car!” People immediately assured her that SHE would be okay, meanwhile the young man is writhing in pain on the ground, pants leg torn, tears running down his face. When the police arrived and the young woman explained what happened, it was suggested to her that maybe the light had been yellow and that the young man had “darted out into the street into her path.” I was floored. I said, “But she just SAID she ran the red light and hit him in the intersection!” 

The police officers then led the young woman away and began talking with her privately in low tones. When the paramedics FINALLY got there I was surprised at the hostility they showed towards the young man. One blonde female EMT (shown in the photo) suggested that he couldn’t be THAT hurt if he was able to walk from the place where he was struck to the sidewalk where he finally collapsed. White bystanders commented several times about “What that poor girl must be going through.” I was the only one who commented on what the young man must be going through, what, with his mangled leg and all. I am absolutely positive that in the end “that poor girl” will be absolved of all wrongdoing and be able to go on her merry way. After all, she just ran a red light and slammed her car into the body of some black kid on a bike, right? And people wonder why black people are so angry and want to break shit.

x

Preach Millennial Falcon!!!

I unno what meme this is, but I’m here for this.

i was looking up 80’s slang for reasons and

i am so using this

and you should too

let’s bring it back